Pardon My Musings

I'm often tired. When I get like this, my thoughts and feelings tend towards the negative.

I've tried to do a lot of different things in my life. I created a ton of OCs as a kid, and the list only grew as I got older. I often dreamed that I would create my own comics or video games with those characters. At this point, counting the ones I've created for my works here on this site, the exact number is easily in the hundreds.

I've tried a number of different things, often at the urging of my parents. Swimming lessons, multiple times. Piano lessons, multiple times. Programming lessons. I tried learning the IBM RPG computer language (with RPG standing for Report Program Generator) so that I could follow in my dad's footsteps as a programmer.

I've tried writing fanfiction, of course. My first few attempts (before I even knew what fanfiction was, or that it could be posted online) have never seen the light of day on the Internet, but I've been writing since 1994, 1995 or thereabouts. The first ones I've actually posted were a set of poorly-written Samurai Pizza Cats fanfics circa 1999-2000.

My swimming lessons tanked, or three or four of them (each one lasting for several weeks), so I avoid swimming pools (or any deep water, really) like the plague. I eventually stopped taking piano and programming lessons because I didn't have the patience, energy, and drive to learn, and to this day I still wonder if my parents are disappointed in me because of that decision---I've never had the courage to ask.

My drawing ability is mediocre at best. There's no way I could make a living off of my own video games even I wanted to: making them solo is too much of a slog, even with the aid of dedicated programs, and I wouldn't have the funds needs to pay others to help me out.

I've tried and failed at numerous other things that I don't have the time to list here. For crying out loud, my gaming channel on YouTube focuses more on my failures than my successes. I've done little in life that's worthwhile. That and my general inability to deal with others in person hasn't done my mood and outlook on life any favors.

But there's one thing that I can do, something which some of you here and at Fanfiction.Net have confirmed that I'm able to do, and that's write.

As of today, I can confirm that Manehattan's Lone Guardian is the longest story I've ever written, bar none. And it's in part because of the interest some of you showed that I was able to keep it up for this long. My current estimation has me finishing the story in late 2025, early 2026, and I hope that I'm still around at that point to finish it.

I guess in the end, there's one thing I want to be remembered for if anything happens to me in the future: that I was willing to put in the effort, however insubstantial it might be, towards making you smile with my words.

Thank you all, and ciao mein. See you when my MLP/Descent crossover hits the site, whenever that may be.