My Review of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie · 12:37am Mar 6th, 2023
Rating Scale:
12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; it is something I might watch again
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made
Greetings, everyone! This is Mr. J back with another movie review for tonight! This evening, I will be reviewing the first SpongeBob SquarePants movie from 2004! Ah, we all remember the golden age of the yellow sponge, don’t we? Back when SpongeBob had its silly humor, wacky adventures, and dumb series of events mixed with important life lessons. This was all brought to a solid conclusion with this film, seeing that it was supposed to be the ultimate finale of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my thoughts on this wonderful, ridiculous Bikini Bottom adventure filled with laughter!
SpongeBob has prepared himself to become the manger of the Krusty Krab 2, a restaurant named after the original one by Mr. Krabs. Unfortunately, he didn’t get the job due to being a mere kid which greatly discourages him. Later on, King Neptune accuses Krabs of stealing the royal crown and freezes him until Judgment Day. SpongeBob and Patrick must find the crown in order to save Mr. Krabs’ life and Bikini Botton from Plankton’s reign of terror.
First of all, I really liked how they balanced out the comedy and the seriousness of the storyline. All the jokes had perfect comedic timing, yet the film also made sure all the characters were taken seriously—including the antagonists. It sets the tone for the movie, letting the audience know that this is no ordinary SpongeBob slice-of-life adventure we’ve all been used to before.
While I liked the character progression for SpongeBob, the premise behind it had some…weird execution. I really don’t get Eugene’s reasoning in not letting him get the position. Yes, he’s a kid, but he’s been serving at the Krusty Krab as the fry cook for Primus knows how long! The fact that he didn’t get it simply because he’s a kid makes no sense whatsoever. Squidward isn’t qualified for the job either because he hates his job, sleeps at the job, is rude to customers, and often talks shit about the Krabby Patties. Why give him the job?
Now, if his reasoning was, “Look, SpongeBob, you don’t have the leadership skills required to take on the job,” then it would’ve made some sense. I mean, season 12 episode 17a “Boss for a Day” literally proved that SpongeBob is incapable of being a competent manager. Then what was even the point of making The Krusty Krab 2? Oh, right, money!!
Anyway, moving on. Plankton was such a menace in this film. For real this time! He actually managed to carry out his plan successfully…for the first time in his career and managed to get his archenemy into suspended animation, steal the formula, turn his dying restaurant into a functioning business, and ultimately enslave all of Bikini Bottom. Mr. Lawrence was and is still amazing as the nefarious little microbe.
The animation still holds up today, the voice acting is still awesome to listen to, and the soundtrack is…pretty great.
As far as the other characters are concerned, Mindy is a pretty decent character. I say decent because her personality is reminiscent of a goody two-shoes Disney princess; seeing the good in the guilty, being a calm, reasonable person of authority as opposed to the short-tempered father. Come on, I’ve seen that type of relationship before. But nonetheless, she’s a decent character who was well-voiced by Scarlett Johansson. Nothing special, in my opinion.
Oh, and why is King Neptune visually different from his show counterpart? Did they have two different animators or something? He looks nothing like his series’ counterpart.
Dennis, however, was likewise an intimidating menace. Alec Baldwin did so well in voicing his lines, conveying that no-nonsense type of tone. He proved through his words and actions that he was not to be messed with, and every time he would appear on screen, the feel-good atmosphere instantly dies down and gets serious. He stole every scene he was in, for sure.
I honestly appreciate what this film was going for. From what I got, it shows us that you don’t have to wait until adulthood to do great things for humanity. Even as children, they can still do remarkable things even if those accomplishments are small. Just as SpongeBob and Patrick saved the world despite being “kids”, so can those of us who are younger and inexperienced.
Oh, and those pirates watching this film in a movie theater was so meta, but it makes sense in this universe…sort of.
Anyway, this movie is heavily flawed, and it could have used a much better-written premise, but it’s still a nostalgic treasure chest worth smiling over. I’ll give it an 8/10!
Peace out, Goofy Goobers!
One flaw I see is Plankton still knows the formula.
5716823
And if he escapes, he will resume making Krabby Patties.
Granted he might want to do it elsewhere.
5716824
Yep
An epic conclusion to a popular and well-loved franchise!
I've been wondering that myself.
A lot of times, I've theorized that this movie's Neptune was a completely different character rather than the one in the show. In this case, there are two Neptunes. One who's a mortal king, and another who's a god.
It just seemed to make a lot of sense in my head, you know?