A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Holy hell man.
You've done it again, hooked me up to an already addictive story and left me wishing that you could type at the speed of light to completion of it! I loved the rage brawl between Hunter and the Maniacs (poor Hum Drum )
An epic chapter that is me to a T!
This was a great chapter, dude. Haven't been this enthralled since the last Dairies of a Madman update. By the way, what's your thoughts on miss Daybreaker? I love her to bits!
8189290 The design is interesting and genuinely intimidating.
I know, man. Those eyes.... are awesome.
Holy shit, that was quite a rollercoaster. This chapter really hit me right in the feels, not a lot of stories do that. Great job again sir!
8189997 If I may ask, what parts were it that hit you?
8190061 When James went berserk on the villains after the moment with Hum Drum, brought back some memories before in the story where Brayden killed Discord violently. James is terrifying when he snaps and part of me can relate to that so thats why it gets to me a little bit. You do a good job at strong emotions in your writing.
Eventually he should be able to acclimate to fighting with anger, realizing it's not evil. Fortuna gave him really good advice on that front.
If you're ENJOYING hurting people while doing more to them than they did to you, that's probably fairly evil right there (though for a deserved revenge, it's understandable and not all that 'bad'), but everything up to that point is fair game!
That was a heck of a scrap, but then I personally havent folowed a lot of shows, comics etc so am only really used to armies clashing, or small squads against mobs and singular bosses. then again, this was effectively the opposite of a dungeon squad verses a boss, but from the other side?
In teh normal verson of the comic, I wonder if Humdrum got a broken arm and knocked out, as thats a pretty regular occurance with kids over enough of them and the average school time?
Maniac is just going to get worse, and darker with each issue because she keeps taking so much damage and failing, so tehres only two ways of dealing with her. Ones terminal, and the other ends her life, by physically rewiring her mind so she is no longer Maniac, and it cant revert by any form of hypnosis, concussion, or other retcon because her previous state has been erased totally from her mental history?
i mean, to her, erasing her mind is killing her. Its not like she can realise after to complain. just a person with superpowers waking up with whatever memories have been written in. Including full amnesia, coma, vegetative state.
Alpha is the pain in teh backside. Because of it beng computer based, its impossible to eradicate. Especially if its fired some reprogrammed drones into the asteroid belt etc. Then again, Power Ponies should realise that when the first of teh array of planet killer rocks start falling in.
8192063
Twilight did it in two days after being rather antisocial most her life. Most people would be willing to give Friendship a chance if they did not have an aversion to it.
With that said, I do acknowledge that had I written this volume of the story with the skills I have now, I could have done a much better job. I do confess that the first 13 chapters is his story's weakest link and that the story is too far deep in for me to go back and make any further adjustments. I thank you for at least giving this story a fair chance, warts and all.
8190746
The Mane-iac is suppose to be an insane mare like the Joker with Doc Oct from Spider-Man, but in every superhero world there's a jurisdiction where by law they cannot kill least there has been a certain destruction to a level. The Mane-iac hasn't technically "kill" anypony but rather injured them to be hospitalized. If she HAD killed Hum-Drum at that moment then her sentence would either be solitary confinement of life in prison to shut her out of the world till death or the execution where it'll either be which ever fashion they have
As for Alpha he's not a computer, he's an A.I. bent on replacing organic life with in-organic life to overthrow what he sees as inferior physically and mentally
8192933
Hey, you learned much from writing this story, and that's what matters most, right?
I see severe continuity issues and pacing problems in writing from inexperienced authors all the time. However, what I don't see is writing that has little to no spelling issue and that is constructed properly (warts and all).
I will continue to read, especially because of the way you handled the sixth chapter. I'm up to chapter seven. That scene was quite tender, and you had the potential to mess it up in every way possible. Rather than do that, you constructed a thing of absolute beauty instead of a train wreck. That just about balances out the technical issues in this story.
Keep it up, because you surely can only improve from here.
If you need some editing assistance, I'd be happy to provide it in the not too distant future. I don't want to spoil the story because I'm still quite early in, but at my current rate, I'll be caught up inside a week.
8193401 I just may do that with Volume 2 on the verge of being proofread. Thank you.
Awesome chapter, only took me about 5-6 hours to read. As usual can't wait for more.
8196287 Thanks. May I ask what the highlights of this chapter were?
8196567 Hmm well I would have to say the time spent between James and Celestia in the dream realm, the time he spent with Rainbow Dash at the spa, when he was with radiance in her private chambers that was funny, and then when he snapped after the Maneiac assaulted Hum Drum and lastly when he had the talk with Marevelous after they got Hum Drum back to their headquarters.
I really liked this chapter! ^.^
*Sigh* Another amazing chapter! I'm starting to worry most of how he is going to remember all the bloodshed since Mortal Chaos, don't want that happening again.
I was planning to make a story similar like Project H, but it's more plagiarize if I make it like the beginning of Mega Man Zero story. I'm gonna have a tough time how I can plan a different story, till the Power Ponies.
Anyway, awesome chapter, bro.! Can't wait for the next, now it is summer!
James. Must. Not. Learn of the events that happened in Mortal Chaos. I believe that was too messed up for my taste.
He. Must. Not. Know.... You here me you bucking bastard! Killing of the protagonist... Hmmph!! But anyways I did enjoy this chapter, will we be seeing some more?
8200692
8201309 There's no need to worry about that. The body may not forget so easily, but the memories remain safely buried courtesy of Discord.
May I ask what you both felt were the biggest stand outs this chapter? Feedback has been scarce and I'm eager for some.
Didn't he at least got a feeling that Princess Nightmare Moon has a thing for James?
8202321 She is definitely deeply in love with him, but is withholding revealing it due to how badly she wants him to herself and knows she can't have him.
8202499 yeah I know that, but shouldn't he have a suspicion about Nighty's behaviour or attitude when he last saw her. And another thing, is it alright with you If I could use a certain scene for a story I'm currently making, wherein that chapter -forgot its name- where James first celebrated Nightmare Night and Peter on confront with NM.
That in Canterlot, my Draconequus OC discovers the whereabouts of Discord -Canterlot Royal Garden- and cruelly disposed of the spirit of chaos and disharmony avenging his fallen subjects read it if you don't get what I'm going on about, it is a short gorey first chapter.
Since you were wanting some feedback on the latest chapter, I'll bite.
This chapter is like a showcase of the genres of this story in miniature. Every single one of the tags you've got listed up there is included somewhere here, which is understandable given that this currently stands as the single longest chapter, not counting the two-parters.
The romance scenes are adorable, especially the one with Celestia. The existence of the dream world is an interesting way of jumping around the issue of cheating, as long as Fluttershy doesn't mind, I guess. I also have to wonder if Celestia even from a chapter as late as Bedlam's Requiem would have ever imagined doing that with him. Probably not. In other news, he has now made love, either real or dreamy and remembered or not, with every single person who is pining for him, except for Twilight. Makes me wonder if she's next. I don't see that ever happening under the current status quo, but under special circumstances, maybe.
The dream fight in the beginning is also interesting, even if I'm not familiar with the Mega Man X series and probably didn't pick up a lot of the references. Regardless, this was pretty much his very first serious swordfight in Equestria, and with another human(oid) to boot. From what you've revealed of the unwritten remainder of the story, I get the impression this experience will come very much in handy in the fifth and sixth arcs.
As much as I appreciated the dream fight and romance scenes, I was also wondering at first why it was taking so long to get the ball rolling to the section that's actually the namesake of the chapter. That is, until I realized James was going into the comic book world alone this time, meaning those earlier scenes were pretty much the only screen time any of the Mane 6 were going to get. It's well worth it, in that case. I think you still saved it though anyways by having James be Project H in the dream fight. It would have felt a lot more unrelated to everything else had he used his regular armor.
It was also interesting seeing the real Power Ponies this time around. I haven't read the comic series, so this was my first exposure to them. It's kind of intriguing how they all look and act kind of similar to the Mane 6, to the point where James feels familiar talking to them. That makes me wonder if the EAC writers were inspired at all by Equestria's real-life heroes when they created these.
It's also entertaining wondering how everything would have played out had the Mane 6 and Spike tagged along a second time, especially that one scene in Radiance's chambers (heh). Of course, then they would've all gotten horrible PTSD flashbacks and be forced to rationalize their continued trust in him all over again near the end there, so maybe it's for the best they weren't there. Save that kind of drama for the main arc conflicts.
Speaking of arc conflicts, I'm still mighty curious on what you're going to do with the Starlight Glimmer subplot. I think you've said James won't be getting involved in that, so does that mean when the raid eventually happens there'll be a chapter from Nightmare Moon's perspective, or what?
All-in-all, this is a very solid chapter, and a much-needed revisit to the Project H subplot.
8203082 You just made my night. It was a pleasure reading this.
Although the dream fight at the start was actually a reimagining of the final boss of Mega Man Zero 3, which is from the sequel series to the X series. As for Glimmer, it will all be shown in two more chapters. And there is still one more Project H chapter to go in this story, though I think I'll hold off until Volume 5 to introduce it.
As for the real Power Ponies, here you go.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/4/44/Power_Ponies_ID_Annual_2014.png/revision/latest?cb=20140910012301
I know this is a little far in advance; I'm just curious.
Will James and Fluttershy have more kids once Gladesong is born?
8206137 They certainly intend to. Just probably not until after the series concludes.
8206195 So.....are you not including that in "The Lost Element" or do you plan on leaving it out of your writings altogether?
8206365 I have no idea when to implement that into the story. I think after some time has passed. Perhaps announcing Fluttershy's second pregnancy in the final chapter of the sequel.
I am speechless... :0
This is just a 'what-if.' If James didn't get involved with Fluttershy or any other member of the Mane Six, and was instead pursued by one of the Princesses, which one would he have most likely ended up with?
I mean, he was Princess Luna's first friend, he saved Nightmare Moon's life (practically reforming her in the process), and he and Princess Celestia share a kindred connection.
8221732
Definitely Nightmare Moon.
Concerning your Volume 4 cover, four images are easily identified: "Project H"/"Struggle Between the Pages"/"They Came from the Pages"/"Return to Maretropolis,(which one is it?)" "Homo-Pinkius," and another yet to come involving James and Fluttershy getting hitched.
But what do those other two images involve?
8221954
Bottom-left - two chapters from now
Bottom-right - Guys Night Out
Top-left is Project H.
8222123
Do you have a link to it? I'm intrigued. Thank you!! ;-)
8222278
Go to my userpage and scroll down.
8222698
Ah! Thanks! I gotta admit, the pictures of James with Luna and in the Ponyville school playground matches me to a T.
Same hairstyle and glasses too.
After looking back at "A Stick in the Maud" and thinking about Shining Armor and Cadence, I've been wondering...
Do you have any plans to feature other family members of the Mane Six (or James' other friends) who have not been featured on a semi-/larger scale like that?
8236889
Marble and Limestone will make a brief appearance at one point, I'm considering having Rainbow's parents show up in Volume 5, and Applejack's parents are deceased.
8236972 Well......the situation with Applejack's parents is obvious to most; I was actually referring to Granny Smith in that area.
As long as the subject's open, what is your opinion of Rainbow Dash's parents, Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles, from "Parental Glideance?"
What about Fluttershy's family, Mr. & Mrs. Shy and Zephyr Breeze, from "Flutter Brutter?"
8237012
Rainbow's mom is incredibly cute and her dad's all right, but Rainbow had every right to snap at them when she did.
Fluttershy's mom is utterly adorable and her dad seems like a guy you'd love to have over for tea. Zephyr Breeze? The most unattractive stallion I've ever seen.
8237012
You know, you could PM him so the comments doesn't stack up too much and so we won't see any potential spoilers of future chapters of course
8237566
PM?
8237046 On that note about Fluttershy's family, what are your writing plans in regards to them?
I've only seen "Flutter Brutter" once myself, so I don't think I've developed a proper opinion yet.
What I mean is, are you thinking about revising the ending to "Closing the Year?" Just my opinion, as beautifully written as it is , it is rather sad. Not that I’m saying you have to or that I want you to, of course.
8238855
Nope. Going back and rewriting a chapter solely to have the story follow show canon is something of a frowned upon move and I don't support it. As much as I would have liked to see Fluttershy's parents from the show, I'm sticking to my guns and going as I originally wrote it.
8238848
Yes, Private Message so that way and questions you have will be answered without the public seeing future possible events
*Sigh*
So much love...
So much rage...
So much sorrow.
Tinged with the flickering candle-flame of hope that keeps us, truly, alive.
Well done. Well done!
-Ru
8265476
Thank you. Haven't heard from you in quite a while. Hope everything is well with you. Any further in-depth analysis from you would be a pleasure to read.
8265875 I've been doing fairly well. My job has been draining me of energy for the most part. Sorry it took so long getting around to reading this.
Hmmm...
Given that I'm not very familiar with the Megaman franchise, any and all parts related to it in the story would be difficult to properly comment on. That being said, I found the entire comic book portion to be enjoyable, if somewhat disheartening at the end.
The dream sequences (both his and Celestia's) were thoroughly enjoyable. Didn't expect the sex portion, though. Heck, didn't expect James to be so... amorous... with four/five ponies in one story. Definitely surprised me there.
The fight scenes were intense. Loved 'em! And now I'm curious as to what would happen if James used his Project H suit on Celestia, Luna, or Nightmare Moon.
Enjoyed learning more about the actual Power Ponies themselves, in addition to Hum Drum.
That's about all I can think about right now. Let me know if there's anything specific you'd like an opinion on.
-Ru
8266014
I guess the one I'd like to hear your more precise thoughts on most is the entirety of the return to the comic book world. That was a lot of fun to write and I'd been planning it out for a long time. I guess another would be your thoughts on the development of James' relationship with Celestia up to this point including the dream sequence.