A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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1193894
Getting hacked is such a pain, I know exactly how you feel.
I'm really glad you made a new account and reuploaded this story, finding and reading it has been a real treat.
Heres hoping that your current account stays safe, I'll distract potential hackers by filling their rooms with angry bees.
The Three Caballeros Reference Nice And Good Chapter by the way
Don't tell me this is the end, I need more! I need to know if Fluttershy gets pregnant with his foal, I need to know how they all adapt to being a family with Scootaloo. Pleeeheheheeheasse.!!!
1194085 Good...
Use wasps though.
They work better ;)
And thus the first Centauer was created.
Fingers crossed that this isnt the last chapter. I can see how ending it here would work but I really hope it continues.
In other words........MOAR!
I already know what's going to happen!
...No I am not telling you.
Two words:
TEH FEELS!
Scoots and Flutters are so damn cute! I'd explode if they were living in the same household as myself!
Sigh... okay. Most of this chapter was pretty damn good. The reunions, the party.... the intimate scene was... ehhh okay (I'm always a little wary of pony-on-human sex scenes, even when they are done well). I really do like the family you've built with James, Fluttershy & Scootaloo.
But the rest of the chapter? It felt like I was reading "My Little Houyhnhnms with the Mane Six & James Gulliver", it was that anvilicious. And I just couldn't sympathize with James when all the tirade against humanity went on; the scary part is that it feels like this could turn into a sh*tty 'The Conversion Buerau' fic with that casual dismissal of Earth and everyone on it (not to say that ALL TCB stories are sh*tty, but the decent ones are few & far between amongst the likes of the author who will not be named), horribly misanthropic. The best he comes up with is technology, sports & the Japanese Tsunami relief. Really, nothing else? The guy knows so little of the world, both Earth AND Equestria. Yeah, Earth has problems. You know what Equestria has? Kidnapping & forced labor (diamond dogs), racism (Zecora's first appearance, possibly Gilda towards the other ponies, zombie ponies from Sunny Town), immortals who can bend the already loose laws of time & space (NIghtmare Moon & Discord), freaking bodysnatchers and nature that can literally kill you to begin with. The whitewash of Equestria & vilification of Earth is painful to read.
But the biggest elephant in the room for me is the casual dismissal of his family. It's natural to move on from one's family to start your own, but this is moving to a completely different world. For all his family knows, he's dead in a ditch somewhere and could be in mourning. The disappearance of a friend for three days with absolutely no trace we've seen here, but losing a son for three weeks and then presumably forever? What did this guy's family do to make him resent them that he has no qualms about never seeing them again, especially for all the comforts he seems to have (Equestria aside), he seems to want for nothing at home. It just seems odd that a person chosen to build bridges with ponies has no connection to his own roots. HiE stories for the most part seem to have this problem: the human entering Equestria (whether or not they turn into a pony or what-have-you notwtithstanding) and giddily leaving all their friends and families behind, never to see them again; even the ones where the human is an orphan or socially isolated, generic as it may be, is at least an explanation. Here, it just seems like (no offense) that he just seems ungrateful for no reason.
This isn't to nitpick or unjustly criticize, this story does have a lot of potential. But I truly do believe that the complaints I've listed here are valid. I'm not asking for a rewrite, but some fleshing out in the future, after your Nightmare Moon arc, would really help.
1194519
agreed they don't die afterword and sting multiple times
as i found out while i mowed my neighbors grass in his back
don't worry they didn't live long after the first sting as i drowned them in old weed killer(not to kill the grass) then stuffed the hole to their home with paper towel drenched in weed killer then i cept coming back and when one hit the floor i stomped it to death
i don't take threats from smaller beings vary lightly especially from bugs...
great with animals though... kinda weird right?
1217711 If that's the case you might like my most recent story, Chaotic Harmony(yay shameless plug). So far I'm really liking this story. The only complaint I have is the incredibly long chapters. It makes it very hard to get through a whole chapter. I do love the emotion you can portray, and the part with Pinkie adding her own thoughts had me laughing. I'm looking forward to finishing what you have here, but with two 30k+ and a 26k chapters it might take me a bit.
This chapter is another one that would be AMAZING to see from the Mane 6 and the CMC's perspectives. Their various reactions were barely covered in Twilight's letter, in my opinion.
Think you can make it for us fans?
he should let nightmare inhabit him so he can do the magics and lift the curse and do all kinds of good stuff and use that as proof she isn't evil anymore and give her body back....or go to earth and be all "I am your god!! behold magics!!" and force peace on the world
I am predicting a Centaur baby. Just putting it out there.
Also im putting these in here for LOL'S. And yes I know they might be stereotypical but they are funny as hell.
1818800 ... If he let Nightmare moon Inside him, I think that....would be the reason why Pinkie detected Clop...Because somebody just realized what you said. And to do 'The MAGICS' He'd need to be Photo Finish.
1217711
This is exactly how I feel about those human OCs that go 'humanity<ponies'.
Don't get me wrong, I like HiE but when the OC gets this misanthropistic (is that even a word?), I just sigh and wonder how the bastard survived his life on earth.
1217711 Not gonna lie, I share quite a few of the same thoughts as you. This feels like a self insert turned equestrian wet dream to me. The overall feel of it is rather empty and devoid of emotion and the, I'm guessing, 2 week time jump was rather abrupt. He just got back from his exile into the everfree and then, suddenly, he's whisked away back to earth.
I guess what I really have an issue with is that major events of the story are just glazed over while minor struggles are given immense detail. Things just happen and then everything changes with little to know thought. A term that comes to mind is Deus Ex Machina. There's quite a bit of that going on in some form or another in here.
I'll admit I've been doing a lot of facepalming throughout the chapters...I'll see if I can get more the further I read!
This chapter was good but there's one thing I don't like.
James says that he hates being on earth and wants to go back to equestria (and that is totally understandable ) but he doesn't care about anything or
ANYONE he leaves behind. From what I could tell his parents knew he was gone and probably worried, it makes james a bit heartless with not having any thoughts about say goodbye to them. they must have been good parents because james is a nice person. I don't see how james could become a good person if his parents were drinking drug addicts that doesn't care. If you could give me a reason why he doesn't care about his parents I would be happy.
Anthropomorphic (is that the right word?) Baby YaY! Lol
James I think is going a little overboard on his description of earth. He makes it seem like it's the worst place in the world to be in, I mean this chapter is literally called "To "hell" and back" earth isn't that bad. What crappy part of earth was James living in to make him think like that? Yea earth has it's flaws but so does equestria. And on that note what does equestria have that earth doesn't to make it so superior? Ponies? I seriously hope that's not just it. And does he really not care about leaving his parents behind? There's not even any mention of them and it seems like he's giving them the middle finger while saying "Buck you I'm gonna go live with ponies!"
But Regardless this story is still Brilliant!
Another a-MACE-ing chapter.
The only problem I have is the word count sometimes, can't read a chapter when I'm tired. Not really an actual problem though.
YAY
The Three Cabiaros! (Certain I spelled that wrong)
5546088 yey you got the ref also... can not rember their names save for donald
XD I'm sorry but I can't help to laugh out loud at the last part.
Congrats, man. You made me laugh for 5 minutes straight with that reference.
So let's resume that story so far :
- 1 % of clopping
- 5 % of hugging
- 9 % of blushing
- 85 % of GOD DAMN
cryingshedding of liquid prideimg05.deviantart.net/7864/i/2013/048/8/2/liquid_pride_by_gray__day-d5v8x8f.png
The references, too much!
5546088 I just got the reference when you mentioned that name, it was Donald cousins or friends or something but now I remember it. Thanks!
I guess you can start this song "Rest Easy " by Audio Adrenaline / Hit Parade at the beginning of the shower scene. Trust me when it came on my PSP it sat a good mood and made me cry so bad that it was perfect.
And James come on if it doesn't work the first time, take some poison joke wait a day and try again.
The characters are wonderfully written as is the general writing of the story. It just really well written. However I fucking hate James. I disagree with basically everything he says and does. I'll keep reading but I'll play fantasys of destroying his life in my head.
1217711 i understand where the author comes from but "normalt there is a reason" and its not explained here. For eksample, he was misstteadet or in my case ignored or mentalt abused by family (not my mom but i almost never saw her after her boyfreind sent me to the hospital.)
Heh. Warmest regards. Celestia. Heh.
Oh no...
I still remember that conversation with Rainbow. He better not start seeing stuff.
Oh no...
That earlier muffin may not have been... Well, "special, " I guess... But I'm fairly certain this one is.
I am surprised and thankful Derpy didn't give him a "special" muffin. He doesn't need to be high on his first day back. Although that could be pretty entertaining.
media.giphy.com/media/LpFooBTGzANhz8blKY/giphy.gif
I'm pretty sure James and Fluttershy's child will be a Centaur
Present company excluded, obviously.
I love this!!!! This is great writing … even with the "Clopping" this is great first arc.
I would love to get a printed form... but I think I would have to debate on that? Maybe?
But excited to see more.
I worry for his parents. First they lose him for three weeks without warning, then they get him back for three days only for him disappear again for good without even a farewell.
10857206
There are some things you just can’t explain or convey without triggering completely the wrong response. There’s never an easy answer to these predicaments.
Gah, I forgot just how emotional this part of the story was. I shed tears then, and I did so this time around as well. Well done
Yup, Celestia and Luna picked the best choice for somebody to be an ambassador for all of Mankind. A very pessimistic guy who focuses way too much in the negatives rather than the positives of planet Earth and mankind… And like somebody said in the comments a chapter or chapters ago, James basically gave humanity the middle finger.
Excellent choice Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! Excellent choiceeeeee….
https://weneedfun.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Laughing-Memes-4.png
[Edit] Ok, the good news is that James is not 100% a pessimist. He did acknowledge that there is still good in humanity. However, he is still too pessimistic and misanthropic. I am not going to lie though, other than that, I kinda like him as he is very open minded of others (except if it is of Earth or humanity most of the time) and caring too.
10943400
I really hope you don’t fall into that old “criticism = misanthropy” mindset that was everywhere like a cancer several years back. It’s not so much misanthropy as it is a combination of bitterness, frustration, and disillusionment in the face of finally experiencing a far better world.
10943474
Looking back on the early parts of the story and some of my comments, I’m cringing from the inside out.
Because I was pretty new to the fandom and writing, I’ve misinterpreted many things in this fanfic. One of them was thinking that the human character is misanthropic towards humanity for simply having a bad past in high school. Thinking about it now, it makes more sense as to why James is reacting like this.
How would you react to a peaceful world where war is incredibly rare (like millennia rare), people loving and caring for each other is more common, and almost everything positive that you wouldn’t see on Earth that much? Not to mention a terrible past that makes you want to leave Earth forever and never look back.
So I want to apologize for some of my earlier comments, especially the one before, for judging the early parts of the story wrongfully. And even if it’s the case of the character(s) being misanthropic, it’s your story. It’s up to you to decide the characters, their lives, the plot, and so on. And honestly, being mad and screaming in the comment section at a fictional character for his/her beliefs is pretty embarrassing.
Before I go, I want to ask something. When are you going to end this story? Because, surprisingly, you have been writing this for almost ten years! Many authors would book it after a couple of years, so I applaud you for your dedication to this fanfic.
Either way, peace for you, Humanity.
The Human Writer (formerly, the Human Commentator)