A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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AWESOME AND DEM FEELZ!!! :D
See Ya Later, Navigator.
well. that might've taken a few hours to read. but it was certainly worth it. One of your most spectacular chapters yet I would have to say. and a wonderful backstory and send off for the lovable chaotic goofball. I'll be awaiting your next chapter as always. keep up the fantasmical work.
This chapter is so much better for my heart, it's was a sad in the middle and then it become melancholy but in a good way as feeling better after a sad time. It was an amazing play with these scripts and it was truly nice to read and the music emphasized the maximum potential of the story's text. Truly this story can't be lower than a master piece. Masterful chapter and I truly do look forward to the next chapter that you create.
6238347 What was it exactly that got you blubbering?
Kinda feel bad for Nightmare.
Excellent job, Humanity. You gave Volume 3 a somber, but happy end. I had trouble trying to... put into words my thoughts on this. Regardless, I am pleased, and satisfied.
(You may remember a RadioMactiveHD? That was me. I simply chose another name, one I think I'll stick with.)
You have crafted yet another chapter with grace, and precision. And you made those feelings genuine for the tale, something I always seek when I open the first chapter, and through. You have had me hooked from day one, and I eagerly awaited every coming chapter to see where Equestria would take James next. I now have newer perspectives of other characters I never thought possible. Shedding new lights on characters and things of MLP we know and love is what puts stories like yours at the top of my favorites list. Keep crafting, my friend,
-Mahazkei
P.S, it is pronounced "Mah-az-kay". You don't need to pronounce it correctly, I just left note of how to if you were curious.
6239560 Well, I wouldn't say the volume is quite over yet. This just marks the end of the main storyline for it. Still got a handful of chapters to go before I move on to volume 4.
You've done it again, my friend. Your story took a dark turn and the characters had a lot of regrets. Our hearts may have been wounded, but they weren't scarred. You healed mine with your fantastic writing.
Holy ballz, the amount of feelz in the chapter is too damn high.
so long and so worth it... it is sad to see discord go...
6239499 She should've admitted the truth about how she feels!!! DAMN IT! XD
6238347 Eehehheee! You funny when u sad of FEELZ!!!
Well, Q, sad to see you go. Adios, amigo...
Also, call me an idiot, but what cartoon are you referencing? And why is it so terrible?
6240391
Nah, she did the right thing. If she tried to push her way into their already established relationship and tried to kick Fluttershy out she would have been no better than any two-bit skank. If he actually went with her, would she even want him anymore, for that matter? That'd just prove he was unfaithful, hardly a quality anyone with sense would tolerate or find attractive in their partner barring some needlessly intricate kinks.
6240589 A show whose name will not be named as I wish I never discovered it in the first place. One of the worst cartoons to come out in the previous decade.
I find my self crying not so much for discord but for what happened to him.
I am reminded of a saying of ware celestia is telling Twilight that now she is a alicorn and will live for ever. (the weight of the crown on my head ways heavy upon my soul)
just thing about this a bit. immortality and what it truly means you would out live every one. you would make millions of friends over a melena and watch then all pass.
and then to have the power of Q at your finger tips.
just think about that is you go to bed, sweat dreams.
Harts Fire
Another well done chapter. I've followed from day one since I got hooked. You manage to portray the depth of emotions so well I'm absolutely speechless. This has the potential to become a book, like 'Past Sins' did. This latest chapter had grief, sadness, and depth to Discords past showing him in a new light. Yet in the end it still managed to have a happy and somewhat somber conclusion. I can't wait for the foal and the wedding. Until next time.
Fantastic work, Humanity. No words can describe this chapter. Very well done.
And while I can see this come to a very bittersweet end, I could almost see Optimus saying, "When the time comes for our friends to pass, we must not dwell in the loss, but to look forward to when we will see our loved ones once more, in eternal peace. Whether by the fate at our bodies' imperfections, by the fate of unfortunate events, or by the fate of father time, our time will come. And we will cherish with them once more, never to be apart again. One may ask, 'Why keep living, when we are destined to die?' 'Why?' Because... We will be reunited one day. Until that day comes, the time here is our priority. Complete the task before it's time to go home. Like the soldier's who fight for their people? We are like them... We are simply returning home... Until then, honor the dead, and fight like hell for the living! Till all are one..." At least... I think that's what he might say...
Regardless, wonderful work. I really hope we are now entering the fun times again. With a horde of Pinkie Pie's chanting, "Fun!"
6246451 "Do not lament my abscence,for in my spark, I know that this is not the end,but merely,A new beginning. Simply put, Another Transformation." Optimus Prime Beast Hunters.
6240529 OI!!! I wasn't trying to offend you!!
6240529 *hugs*
Now we just need to sort out nightmare's jealousy
6248237 That's a story for another time.
6246451 Give me just one more chapter and then we'll be entering the fun zone at breakneck speed.
6246983 Eh... The Beast Wars series never appealed to me. I tried to get into it to see what thw fuss is about, but couldn't see anything in it sadly...
6240793 *chuckles evilly* I know which show it is...... I would be an ass if I told the other readers XD
But all in all, this was a good chapter, I can't say I cried, but I did feel the slight ghost of an ache from long ago.....I've lost friends too, the pain never gets any easier to deal with, but you do learn how to live with it.....a lesson I barely learned in time I'm not going to say what happened either
6240589 I get the feeling it's referencing Drawn Together, basically "look at these cartoon character stereotypes! how can we make them as offensive as possible while keeping things funny?". Falls short of the comedy mark quite a few times, in my opinion. Also, some of the characters, of the little bits I've seen, just seem bland.
6249811 Actually, I think he's referring to the Beast Hunters section of Transformers Prime. That was a good TF cartoon.
6251681 Oh... Right, my bad. It's like whenever I see, "Beast" in the title, I'm thinking, "Beast Wars". I tried to watch Beast Wars, but the way it was done and transforming into animals, and the "Maximize" and "Terrorize" things? I cringe everytime they say it. I tried getting use to it, but 5 episodes in, I just stopped completely. Beast Wars just failed to appeal me, despite the popular opinion.
-Le looking on site for new fics cause i've already read half the site-
-can read a 200,000 story in about 20-24 hours-
-See this story, not noticing word count-
"Oh this looks like a pretty fine story"
-reads first few chapeters-
"wow, i really like this!"
-PC dies-
-reboots-
-Finally sees word count-
"o.o"
"MOM!"
"I THINK I'M IN LOVE"
I normally like long works, but I give up. With the majority of the 'chapters' being the size of novellas or full novels and the amount I've been finding myself skim reading[1], it's just too much work for too little enjoyable content.
[1] Victor Hugo could get away with a novella sized digression describing the Battle of Waterloo to impart a short paragraph's worth of story... you are not Victor Hugo and a video game is not the Battle of Waterloo.
6272735 True, I'm not. But that's the same as saying that only Victor Hugo could get away with something like that. I'm not saying that I handled that part of the chapter the best I could, but that sounded like a very elitist saying.
6278296
Sure it's elitist: There are some things you have to be very good to pull off and which require specific conditions to work. (N.B. Victor Hugo isn't the only author to get away with that sort of thing but they are all at about the same level as him. I use Hugo as my example because I've read Les Miserables and that digression is memorable.)
As a free piece of advice, overly long chapters are going to hurt your readership. Even leaving aside the simple impact of "that's too long, I don't have the time," super long chapters imply a lack of editing and large amounts of superfluous text. As it stands, the typical chapter length on this site, (3-5k words IME), is already on the long side, a professional novel in the 40-60k word range will generally have a couple dozen chapters.
6278421 If there is one thing I have learned, it's that trying to appeal to all readers is a lost cause. I have some who utterly hate long chapters and others who love them. It seems that readers are on either one side of the fence or the other, so I will continue to write what my fingers decide as I always have and let the readers decide if the story is worth reading. That, and I'm sure most use the site's bookmark function to help pace themselves.
If you don't care for my story's occasional 40k+ chapter length, that's not my problem. We all have our own tastes. Some prefer quick bursts of reading while others prefer something they can lose themselves in for hours. And as I never plan the lengths of my chapters, I really can't do much to determine a chapter's final page count. So if you don't like this story because of that, there are plenty other stories out there that suit your tastes.
6278523
Sure you can do something: When you are editing, you take note of where there should be chapter breaks, (e.g. any major change in setting or perspective). Doing this is also a good way to spot pacing problems because it is easier to see the passages which do not advance the story and the ones that do things too quickly.
Remember, I am in no way saying that you shouldn't release 10k, 20k, 40k or even 400k words at a time. There is nothing wrong with releasing a dozen, (or more), chapters at once. To put things in perspective: 10,000 words is between 40 and 50 pages in a trade paperback.
Also, it's not that I don't like the story, it's that there is far too much that simply isn't story.
6278736
I have to agree partly about your comment. I love the long chapters, but heck I'd love'em even if they were shorter, not gonna get int that dispute Humanity. Just do what you do.
I will agree that sometimes their is too much detail in this story, Having said that I wouldn't change any of it for the world this is an absolute treasure. But like humanity has written before in the comment write (lol) below yours or this one..... however it's posted, he simply writes what he will, and in the end that's really all that matters to him. I'd rather he not try to change how he writes, in terms of style and flow, grammar notwithstading, and continue to love the stories he writes rather than get frsutrated and bored with them because of a counterproductive style.
I don't know..... that's just what I think.
6290750 That is exactly what inspired that line.
6293627 Join the club.
6302713 Tell me about it. The boyfriend she's had over the last three years who she had been using to animate her game was just recently dumped for a girl.
Hint Hint.
6309065 Dude, Doctor Who is popular, but it isn't a household name. No one I know has ever talked about that series and I certainly did not discover its existence until MLP came along and portrayed Dr. Hooves as a parody of him. And in this story, G4 MLP never came to be, hence why James does not even remotely recognize any of the characters he encounters to the point where he only barely notices the similarities between them and previous generation MLP toys.
So yes, it is possible for someone in this day and age to have no idea the likes of Doctor Who even exists depending on their interests. So knock it off. You're really starting to tick me off with these kinds of comments.
6309263 I'm sorry, I goofed up pretty horrendously.
6335450 well that's strange... I've never heard her talk like that, I must've missed it.
6342282
you do know that their dispute was about six months ago? (more than 25 weaks)
Why responding to such old comments? i see no point in it.
6342430
Because sometimes, people just need to be hammered in some sense. (No offence to anyone.)
And here I thought I wouldn't need my handkerchief any more.....
Man that was touching, you truly are a master of writing out emotions. Don't stop man, you have talent.
6352891 If I may ask, what segments were the most touching in this chapter?
6353610
I listed a few others in a comment a couple of chapters ago, for this chapter though..
The part where James was pulled for the princesses scared me to hell. It was a real mood change but I really felt relieved when it ended.
Celestia's and Discord's back stories were very touching. The loss of friends is indeed paining, and it's sometimes hard to accept that someone isn't who they used to be (Which, I must say, you did better than 'Griffon the brush off' in my opinion. Then again, they had 20 minutes, I put 2-3 hours in this chapter.). The moment where the mane 6 found James at the blood Cutie Marks was pretty nice. Really a reminder of that they'll always stay together.
That's my opinion, but then again, I'm far from a professional critique. I hope it helped, and keep up the good work.
Kind regards,
Slayer