A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
Page generated in 0.053 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
1,540,223 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
He doesn't remember everything that happened? Hurm, I would like too see how he reacts when he finds out.
Looks like Discord took the memories with him.
That means there's actually negative character development, hrf.
Things I didn't like:
Negative/regressive char development for James.
Leaning too much on the 4th-walling.
No supernatural reason why everyone's having fun while fighting to save a life from an impossible monster.
Jumping down the ACME hole made everyone instantly relax and start chatting and acting like it was a hang-out.
James didn't think to make more use of his lucidity.
Everyone acting surprised that it was Discord, it was as obvious as the "Who's that Pokemon!" of Diglett.
Twilight only firing laser beams instead of being creative and using real spells (smartest was the least creative).
FAR too many "Wow! Whoa! Huh? Jeez!"-etc. Even though it wasn't being written down in-the-story, no human being I've ever known uses those that often.
Basically turned the whole arc into the "it was just a dream" trope, even though it wasn't.
No time as a reader to appreciate the actions going on here, even from James' perspective - felt like just a string of words and actions, no way to get into the chapter.
Things I did like:
Oh well, fuck the downsides. It was fun to read.
Custom creepy-image? Nice.
50,000 words? Oh shit, nigga. It's time for popcorn.
Hey! I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!!! WOOO!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!!! THE DISCORD ARC IS FINALLY DONE!!! and by the way? that use of the Nega-Armor phase 2 (Reach for the stars Orchetra mix) GREAT. though You know I've come across a remix of that called Reach for the Elements of Harmony, which I will include below. perhaps it may fit better?
weknowmemes.com/generator/uploads/generated/g138436159384917962.jpg
6033426 I definitely understand the points beside some of your criticism. I had my doubts about some of it too. All I can say is this was a very tiring challenge to write and I am glad to finally have it out of the way.
6033471 I used that song for a reason. Imagining the scene it was used with at the start of the song brings tears to my eyes.
6033527 Very well. I merely thought of the crossover song when I saw that you had used it...so it was just a suggestion. after all, Can't blame me for at least mentioning it right? like an honorable mention sort of thing?
Ahhhhh....FINALLY, it's over. Done. This painfully long, stressful, and drawn-out arc is finally done with. Thank god.
Now we can get back on track and continue with this story. Who knows what interesting things will appear in the future.
That.....was.......AWESOME!!!
A good ending too! ...I mean a good ending to the chapter!
Good job!
~Shiboah
wow this chapter is something to behold.
supper good to say the lest the last part Scootaloo calling James dad ok I lost it right there just wow.
exultant work.
Harts Fire
6033524
I remember how it is. As I said, no amount of negative drawbacks actually matter so long as the core function of fanfiction is achieved: entertainment. The rest is just polish, or shit for elitists to bitch about to feel important. In this case, polish. But I had fun, so... victory!
God damn this from beggining to end is awesome. I'm glad that I found this story and read it.
PERFECT!!! A MASTERPIECE !!! I can't tell you how happy I am to see James finally returning and the lighthearted atmosphere returning once again. I knew Discord was behind it and the hints were subtle but they were there. Masterpiece Chapter Humanity and I truly do, I mean truly do look forward to the next chapter of this wonderful story.
Thank you for writing this story for the fimfiction community and I hope you have a really nice Day.
6033523 I can't go a single chapter without a typo slipping through. That, and my keyboard occasionally does not register my keystrokes. I'll fix it eventually.
Ugh...the feels the Hardness and now this, such a happy ending to all of this now, he is up and about but doesn't rememeber anything? Could this be a blessing or another form of curse? Is it truly over or just the start?
6033989 It's appreciated. I would've provided a more in-depth response to your criticism earlier as I really should explain some things, but I was at work at the time.
If you meant the partial memory wipe, I'd like to let you know that the main segment of the Mortal Chaos arc is not quite done yet. There are two more chapters before it's over and the drama isn't finished.
I can certainly understand that some would think I overdid it a bit on this stuff, but after all of the stress and drama of the previous chapters, I felt a breakneck ascent into levity and humor would be necessary. That, and it was Discord himself as well as Pinkie Pie with her detachment from reality skills turned up to 11000. Enough said.
It would be understandable that they would initially be determined and even angry at first. But after figuring out what they are capable of in this world detached from the laws of reality and scoring blow after blow upon their enemy while it struggles to keep up due to simply not being cut out for fighting would more than likely give a huge boost to morale. That, and doing things with friends is generally more fun than doing it by yourself. So I can definitely see the girls actually start to get a kick out of aiding James in ridding himself of the curse that has him in a bind. And finally being back together with his dearest friends would definitely elate James like nobody's business after the crap he went through.
That was kind of the point of that moment. With Discord having gone into a frustration-fueled frenzy, he had become significantly more dangerous and the seven bearers of the Elements needed to retreat to a port in the storm to catch their breath and calm themselves and rethink their strategy. And after all the crap that has been happening since Mortal Chaos, it was their first opportunity to spend time together and just relax as friends since Discord's death. I don't think they would turn down that chance.
That, and with Tiny Toon Adventures being my favorite cartoon show of all time, I was particularly inspired to do this by memories of episodes that featured Buster Bunny's burrow as well as this picture. Tell me this doesn't make some kind of sense.
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/154/6/6/summa_cum_lolde_by_dstears-d524qck.jpg
If I was really in that situation and we were really faring that well against Discord using only the abilities we had access to at the start, it would not occur to me to think outside the box further until we were really starting to run out of options. And with the Elements of Harmony having such a good track record, I would definitely want to try using those first.
Perhaps, but the Mane Six saw, or at least heard him die. After such a very thorough defeat, I don't think they would ever expect to see his face in the flesh ever again. At least James himself was hardly surprised.
You may have forgotten, but her only means of attack was not just the basic magic beam spell. She could also fire off orbs of magic energy that would detonate like bombs. Combining those two means of attack with teleportation and using the levitation spell to use something like the Lunar Shield as a hoverboard for high speed flight made her pretty versatile. She was able to take out one of the six heads that made up Discord's disguise, so it was clearly effective. Besides, intelligent does not translate into being creative. I see Twilight being someone who would take a more pragmatic approach to a fight like what occurred using what worked best and adapting as necessary if her current tactic were proving ineffective. It would be her counterpart and foil, Pinkie Pie, who I would see being more spontaneous and unpredictable in her methods and trying new random stuff out of nowhere all the time.
I know exactly what you mean and it's the one part of this chapter I am not the least bit happy about. Even before I finished writing out the fight scene, I was still seeing the flaws with what I was doing. I'm probably going to try to improve that when I get around to proofreading this chapter. This is also why I have found that I greatly dislike writing 1st person stories that are spoken in the present tense. It's not bad when used in most situations, but crazy fights like the one here are difficult to do right. Thank god no future chapters will be written in this style ever again. The reason why it seemed to work in Mortal Chaos was James' unstable mindset made him too unpredictable and zany to really bother using such exclamations very often. Furthermore, he was fighting entirely by himself. In this one, the first half of the fight was done almost entirely by the Mane Six and the other half had him attacking only roughly 1/7th of the time while the rest was spent serving as a spectator to his friend's assaults. You're less likely to surprise yourself than you are to be surprised by others, especially when they are displaying abilities that they had never possessed before. Even if his exclamations were justified, I do regret that I overused them so greatly. I hope I can fix that when I proofread it.
Well, the whole thing turned into one sadistic mind game courtesy of Discord after Mortal Chaos, so that's understandable. The real fight was happening in James' head.
Yet another part of why I dislike writing present tense 1st person chapters. Writing in past tense is far easier, although the above mentioned problems you and I noticed definitely didn't help here.
I'm still glad you found enjoyment in this chapter and I have to say you have become one of my favorite reviewers. It's always a pleasure to see what you have to say in response to my works and I appreciate the constructive criticism and advice you provide. I hope you'll keep reading as long as I keep writing.
Damn yo, that was epic
I call James going back and reading his journals and finding out about what happened.
Author, if you're reading this comment. Fucking do it
... Damn... Just damn...
Well that was one hell of a ride! Oh, and I knew Discord couldn't be trying to kill him just to spite him! That was never his style. Very interesting plan of his though. A tight blend of Batman and Xanatos Gambits.
YES! The curse has been lifted! James is alive! Everything is finally looking up again! This was SO worth the read. This chapter alone took me 3 hours to read and I enjoyed every bit. Thank you, Humanity, for such a worthwhile masterpiece. I will forever cherish this as my most favourite story. Please don't stop!
One of the greatest fight sequences ever on fimfiction?
I dunno about the arguments about the dimentional crossing, afterall, Smooze time was definitely canon, both for Pinkie and Discord.
But that last second reach, reward, or even deeper curse?
I dont know what the problem people have with coming back from the so called dead, especially if you have transdimentional capabilities. Just reach back through time, and make an identical copy of the person you dont want to see die. Ok, so you want to get picky and say it isnt the atomic make up and structure that gives a soul, that a perfect clone has to remain a dumb vegetable, do like that movie where people are lifted from crashing aircraft to be sent to the future, and leave the dumb copy behind.
You have 6th day, 5th element, Riverworld, and a whole load of ways of recovering from death to the point where it gets, in Riverworld at least, a method of actually getting around.
6035472 Left you speechless this time, huh? That's rare.
6036116 Yes, this chapter really did done that one in on me. And what makes you think this is the first time it happened to me?
6036222 I said it was the first? Doesn't look like I said that.
6036395 Awesome! Can't wait to see what you whip up next time!! although the image was a bit TOO freaky for my tastes! :D
6034199 Best on blooming fimfiction if you ask me! To be honest for me it's a I-wont-go-to-bed-or-work tomorrow -as-this-is-awesome-and-if-i-stop-my-brain-will-shrivel! type story!
Ahem. The real question is, "Does James immortal, now?".
6037432 Of course not.
6037918 hmmm...
I really loved this chapter, though I kind of wished we could see more interaction between James and Discord in the lighthearted scenes as well.
Dang, Humanity. I wasn't expecting this type of ending to this chapter... now I can't help but feel pity for Discord... he must've made James forget the agony he suffered... I guess even the most twisted could have a small light in them.
Though, I am pretty excited now that the Darkest Hour has finally been brought to light. James now finally able to live free of the pain. James going to find out he's a dad, biologically and mentally. I can't even think on how Celestia will take this news. Though, I'm suspecting her to have the girls and all those involved to be sworn to secrecy. And I bet she'll have to hide his Journals too. Or burn them. Either way, while it's a dark secret they are going to contain, I think they are more than willing to make that sacrifice for James' sake.
A bittersweet ending, but an ending on a happy note. Fantastic work, Humanity! Now, all that's left is to deal with the last 3 vilians(1, if nothing). Chrysilas, King Sombra, and Tirek.
6038201 Careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
6038272 Yup. Just three more chapters before this main segment of the volume is complete. If I may ask, what really stood out in this chapter? Was pretty tiring, to be honest. I think my favorite parts to write were the calmer sections. Really made me feel good writing scenes not unlike most of the story in general. Didn't know how much I missed it until I started writing them again.
6036395 Right, well... Here are some things on what I think of it.
First of, I really fucking hated the whole 'no crossover' thing. I mean, sure, the tag itself isn't there, but that doesn't mean they were gonna stay there throughout it all. Goddammit man, breaks the fucking rules!
Second: surprises. There were a lot of shock 'n' awe bombs going off here and there! Especially when it really was Discord all this time! I even forgotten the possibility of him pulling that little trick off. The whole spirit thing, I mean!
Third, aftermath. Discord wishes for death, James didn't like the idea and suddenly hits a nerve. So he goes into a raging fit about the concept of friends, saying it's useless and chaos beats all. When James did kill him, I was a little worried that he might be scared for life by that, though it seems Discord shows his gratitude by erasing those memories.
So, all in all, one hell of a clusterfuck of a chapter! And I like it! But more importantly, it's finally over. Now what is going to happen afterwards? Something good I hope.
Nice to see this arc finally wrap up. Not that it was bad, but it definitely went on long enough.
Also, pretty sure that the Mane Six's decision to lie to him regarding his lost memories will most definitely come back to bite all of them in the butt. Big time.
One more thing, since he lost his memories that means he doesn't remember his time with Rarity. Makes me sad.
6038801 Or learning that his marefriend was pregnant.
6038428 Nothing stood out of the ordinary. Couldn't to save a life. Either way, very good job!
6038801 maybe its for the best.... doubt it.
-takes a deep breath and sighs in peace and relief- oh sweet lawdy, that was so worth the hour and a half read. oh god, I'm so satisfied with that I can't even begin to describe it. that was a mind blowing and heart filling chapter, very well done sir, very well done. I will await patiently for the next, and I will see you then.
in some way its better that he dont have any memory of what happen but its still sad that forgot all the things he learn and lived during this arc
it could have make a good developement for James
Sure the other didnt forget and grew with this experience but he will be completly oblivious of the real reason they'll be a little more clingy then before.
Will Applejack be able to keep the secret?(how did she lie so easily anyway,isnt she suppose to be the element of honesty.hmm maybe he just didnt saw)
if he go to canterlot will he see the labyrinthe's state and ask what "really" happen?
i cant wait to see what will happen next
NO CROSSOVER
i really laugh at this part
So I decided to listen to that fnaf song while reading the ending of the chapter... I honestly doubt that I can express how beautiful this story is and how amazing of an author I think you are. Just thinking back on it, knowing that this arc has been going on for almost a whole year and that it escalated to the point of James' near death, this story is great. This story is so much better than 95% of this whole site to me. In my opinion, this arc ended in the best way it could. Between James forgetting everything that transpired and Discord having his final hurrah at the end... Its almost like Discord thanked James for ending it all, for winning. Great story, Humanity, great story indeed.
Ahh and finally this dark segment finally comes to an end. Although I'm not complaining this was a really compelling read. I reminds me of a certain part of Rukario romance (not gonna say specifics to keep spoilers out) The ending mostly but the 3rd way through Rukario Romance reminded me of this. Ugh Now I have to go read it again :) Still It was a really good chapter and with a rather surprising ending. Can't wait to read more. Keep doing that voodoo that you do Humanity :)
6045552 Something tells me I've seen you comment on my stories before a long time ago on AGNPH. Only one person ever used "voodoo" in his reviews.
6045802 I've robably reviewed you before, however I can't for the life of me figuire out what AGNPH is and/or means, (never been good with anograms) The only place I can recall reading your work on would be sofurry.net and fanfiction.net but yeah that would be cool if you recognized me becuase of the Voodoo. Can't wait to read more fo your great work.
Well now, that was a hell of a thing there, quite the hell of a thing that is for sure. It appears hes managed to get out of it partially unscathed too, a shame he lost a few weeks of memories, but some things are better left, unremembered.
Good work with the random bits of comedy and occasional hinting of other things. For those who weren't around in those times, they won't get it. I was personally hoping for a little Valve intervention (with so many different interesting things to work with too!), but it was not to be, damn you for using LOGIC Discord.
On that note it would appear that he was a dirty cheater after-all and got what was coming to him in the end there, and now hes truly no more, but the trouble doesn't stop there. I just hope Twilight's sudden desire to gloss over what happened to him will not backfire.
Discord...... Called it!!!
6033527 Can't wait for more!!!! Well done!
1. You're a genius, is the last 7 comments in which I mentioned this fact weren't enough.
2. I am so glad that's finally dealt with! I one almost considered stopping with reading the story due to how touching it was, glad I pulled through. Glad James doesn't remember anything, or he'd have a hella severe case of PTSD for sure.