A long forgotten element has been brought back, but for better or for worse?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Best chapter yet.... LOVE IT!!! XD
Have to do with your sister
The last " shouldn't be there.
I didn't think you'd get to Maud so soon. Great job on this chapter!
6803489 I agree.
I also like how James befriended Maud.
Poor Pinkie, the author need to tune it down.
I never watched the Maud episode. I stopped part way into that Scootaloo episode (I think it was early season 3) because it was dull for me.
*comes out from underneath a rock, reads chapter, laughs head off, and returns to beneath rock, awaiting next chapter*
-Ru
Jeezus, Humanity. Pinkie nearly gave me a heart attack. I probably could have waved to her and she would have waved back. XD
Also, hi other people reading this at 21:50!
Wow Pinkie.... Sucks to be you right now. Although, maybe you should ask Deadpool to go over there and 'sort' them out. Otherwise, you need to learn some self-discipline.
Anyway, good chapter, but how the Hell did that pixie thing ended up in Pinkies head?
I didn't realize it took place in the actual story line. but to be honest I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the timeline of things.
When the chapter title is "a stick in the maud" I'm pretty much expecting Maud-sex.
Do I detect a Ed, Edd, n' Eddy reference?
I think that's the first time you've mentioned those three.
Also: Pinkie Pie wasnt even on 11, she was on 22. XD
6805052 It was basically a past life sort of reference since Andrea Libman voiced Zipzee in G3 before voicing Pinkie Pie in G4.
I dont remember seeing any visible crystals on the rock farm during the rainboom episode, but it was full of crystals when they went to visit at Hearths Warming, after Mauds visit to Ponyville.
Maybe the rock candy necklaces she took back home took root and grew and spread. Especially that massive lump Dash gave her.
Did anyone else, on seeing Pinkies black rubber toob immediately think, I hope it has a yellow beak, so it looks just like Daffy Duck, just before the ham did a CoD and left off with it?
For massaging Maud, you have to consider sesmic trucks with their vibrating pads, intersecting beams of continous vibration, instead of Quakes pulse impacts, but I suspect Quake wouldnt be able to do it expertly, just basically, so you would need a sesmologist trained as a massage giver to be able to do it. Depends just how hard and tough Minotaurs and Dragons are, diplomats in Canterlot etc?
Oh god I just all that 4th wall Breaking and having Daffey duck in their super funny. I think you should do one with bugs bunny that freak out fluttershy and angel ha.
Love the chapter keep it up
6804785 If I may ask, what segments made you laugh the most?
6806174 Ah! That explains it.
6806936 The scene where Rainbow Dash gives Maud her new "pet rocks on a leash." Her reaction to Maud's response was priceless!
-Ru
6814937 Is he an absolute wimp? Because I know people who are chubby but also very strong.
a fun chapter
NEWBORN CUTIES!?! Oh sweet Celestia! Scootaloo RUN!
That... Generation... We mustn't EVER speak of it. Still gives me shivers...
6817300
I agree. That generation was pure evil. Like everyone at Hasbro got seriously fucking high on crack and said ' let's make a baby pony show.'
I don't like school. It means I can't read these chapters directly when they come out. Oh well, not all can be great, I guess.
That being said, Great chapter, as I've come to expect. You managed to write Maud quite closely to her cannon character, which to me seems quite hard, because it's such an alien character.
I like the Slice-of-life approach of this new Volume (Did it become a new volume? Never stuck around for the end of that blog post.). It's a nice break from the extremely heavy story arc that was Discord.
I was actually thinking about how I got into this story back when I did, and it's quite a fun story. I was about to go on a vacation where I wouldn't have internet for a week, so I chose to download a long story to my phone. I chose this story as just a story to read when I had to wait long stretches of time, like sitting in the car for 2 hours. I ended up reading whenever I had time, and sometimes read from hours on end. When I got back home, I would be reading whenever I had the time. I never expected I'd ever get through it, but now I'm waiting for new chapters to come out. I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Anyway, it's pretty late now. I might give some more in-depth info about things I liked and disliked about the chapter later, but for now, I need myself some sleep.
6820805 Thanks, I'll be looking forward to it.
6821228
Okay, so, let me just start by saying this chapter is what I've come to expect from you: Long, but not long-winding. It's really detailed, though leaves room for imagination. You make it interesting by constantly adding funny quips and small story arcs that make you (or me, at least) keep reading.
Now for this chapter specifically:
Pros:
First of, as mentioned before, I love the way you wrote Maud. it was very accurate and I hope to see more of it (next chapter maybe? :P).
Secondly, I like how you didn't make the Mane 6 (exc. Pinkie Pie) be friends with Maud in this chapter immediately. It's something critics usually have a problem with when reviewing episodes: Resolving problems too quickly. Luckily you've decided to take the 'baby-steps' approach, and give them more time than a day.
Oh, and I couldn't stop laughing at Scootaloo's quip:
I literally had to take a break from reading there for a while, because I kept collapsing in laughter when I even as much as glanced over it.
Cons:
I'm sad to say, there were a couple of things I didn't like, but hey, can't make everything to everyone's liking.
One point I didn't like was Pinkie Pie's 'personality meter' gag. It wasn't so much a bad idea, as I just thought that it went for too long. I'd imagine Pinkie doing something like that, but fixing it and having her head sealed up again before people could start questioning how she opened it up in the first place, but that might just be my opinion.
And secondly, the boulder falling towards Pinkie Pie was, sorry to say it so crudely, kinda copied from the show. You're an extremely creative and capable writer, as you've proven many times before, but this was kind of a let-down. I think you could've done something different, but maybe you still have plans for this later on, we'll have to see.
Side note: As MahDryBread would say it "Proofread, send it to friends".
Basically what I mean by this is, in the day after you've finished writing the story/chapter, or days, for chapters of this size, proofread them for any small grammar or spellings mistakes. Also, try asking (a) friend(s) to help you proofread them. 4 eyes see more than 2. I didn't notice much, but did I few, as you can see in my first comment on this chapter. But to be honest, this is really just nitpicking.
Overall: Great chapter. A small couple of things that weren't to my liking, but that might be more me than actual mistakes in the story. Keep going, but try not to use scenes from the show too much, most of us will have seen it before.
6824207 Lol, I forgot I even wrote that.
As for the cons, I understand if you didn't care for them. Although when it came to Pinkie Pie, that was a means of calling out the show's writers for the rather unforgivable flanderization the Mane Six underwent during season 4 and with Maud Pie being the first season 4 episode I saw, Pinkie definitely got it the worst. The show is a sad shell of its former self and someone's got to tell the Internet what time it is. As for Maud's boulder crush, that was just another shot to show off her strength a bit more. As well as making for an opportunity for the "rocks on the brain" gag. Her real might will be shown to full extant during volume 5.
As for the proofreading, I do it all myself. Upload the chapter first, then read over it later to make corrections. I don't want proofreading to delay it after all the work I put into it.
Hey man just a tip on putting pictures in your story its better to just put the link, when trying to read them as an html makes them take forever to load when you open them.
6839780
Yeah when young you HAVE to have milk. I'm saying that the label of vegetarian means nothing. EVERYTHING in existence is omnivorous in some way. Whether throug nature, survival, or even their own bodies reactions.
But the REAL "vegetarians" live only on plant life or artificial foods, or by product. And vegetarians is what that group of people are called not what they are, because their bodies still use the fat in their body, which makes them omnivorous STILL. And that happens with all organic life, their body breaks down and uses their own fat. So that makes them omnivorous.
So labels mean nothing other than "threat, possible threat, or docile."
Vegetarian=docile (docile being it is 80-90 percent non threatening basically)
Omnivorous=possible threat, because humans CAN kill...(big duh there) dogs kill and hunt, same with cats, and many other creatures.
Carnivore=threat, because they WILL kill for food. Lions, bears, Sharks, etc. etc. but bears eat berries, and honey, lions HAVE eaten veggies or herbs for food (mostly medicinal/health reasons though), and sharks...rarely seen but some do eat seaweed, and anemones on occasions. (And don't go saying anemones are alive, I know that, but are they meat? No they are related to a fungal or plant-like lifeform in their cells. I studied them once in college...needed one more credit, and it was the cheapest class...that had any openings other than "P.E. But I had 1'and 2, so retakes wouldn't count as a credit...)
So long short...the labels of "carnivore" "omnivore" and "vegetarian" are just danger level words anymore, since ALL organic life is technically omnivorous...in ONE way or another...
if this seems a bit...off, I added a part after I typed it so it may be a bit off in its line of subject...and I apologize about that...
6840320
i think you mistaking vegetarians with vegans, that are two different things. vegans live only on plant life or artificial foods and avoid anything that comes from animals (some even things like wool). vegetarians still consume things like milk and eggs, some even fish.
6841554
Yeah, I wrote that when I got home from my graveyard shift... X.x I was tired, and sick...
6848740 I thought a yoke is the kind of harness worn by work animals, such as what Big Macintosh wears. Never knew it was also a form of jewelry worn by humans too, although it must be very obscure as I'm struggling to find any info on that version of it.
what is the 2nd congratulations talking about?
is it talking about the musician trio group Donald duck is in? The Three Caballeros?
orig07.deviantart.net/4027/f/2015/080/e/e/the_three_caballeros_by_msmagiccait-d8mnc7k.png
6851461 eeyup
6868462 Or you know, just start a herd like Lero.
6868539 the thing is that after some real life events with me and my current relationship status, I do believe I could actually pull that off. However, due to a friend of mine's stance on such relationships, I can't do it for the sake of the sequel. She...has had bad experiences with stuff like that and would be unnerved by it.
6868998 I was just making a reference to "Divided Rainbow" by Mike Tevee and "Xenophilia" by some one else.
It wasn't a literal necessity to add.
6869005 I was wondering which story you were referring to.
6869076 For some reason people haven't read either of those. They really are gr8 stories.
6869101 I thought Xenophilia is one of the most popular stories on the site. I guess up votes don't translate into web traffic.
6870216 It is pretty popular and you are right. Except for "Your Human and You"
6879573 Hindquarters is a term often used to refer to the hind legs of something.
Still, it can be used to refer only to the hip section instead of the entire lower body. Maybe I should adjust that when I proofread that chapter.
6879701 just a question but when will the next chapter be out and how long does it take you to push one out on average? I'm in love with the story and i wanna read many more chapters from you!
6882760 It varies, taking into account chapter length, inspiration and drive, and finding time to work on it.
Anyway, how were the two most recent chapters?
6882946 very well written. I laughed a lot during the power ponies chapter especially at the slap skit. The fact you had the idea for rainbow to make a sex toy out of rock for maud then to have it completely back fire on her was HILARIOUS! Been in love with your story for a long while. As far as critiques go all i got is slight grammer but as i said in another comment i can't ding u for it due to the shear length, but even still that's only a nitpick. Can't wait to see what next you make for james and the mane 6. Are you going to keep the baby as gladesong or are you going to do something else?
6883025 Yes, the child will be named Gladesong. Although I'm not certain if she will be the last child born from Fluttershy. Will have to wait and see in the sequel.
6883568 ok was wondering about that. How long do you plan to go? Ik it will be a handful more chapters to get to fluttershys delivery then the transition.
6883580 That? Good question. Not sure. Got the first volume dealing with my friends arrival, then the Crystal Empire's return, then Chrysalis and Nightmare Rarity, then the start of the very long Ruin arc.
6883623 well sound like I'll have plenty of material to read in the near future. Hope you can keep it coming but don't burn yourself out man. Hate for this to get a hiatus tag on it.
6885172 Cover art for volume 1. They pop up to announce the start of the current volume.