Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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yes!!!
Oh damn...
and then she joined in.
must have more
btw love the chapter
791507 791529 791530 791533 791536 Not a single complaint? You guys spoil all my fun.
Dangit, just it was getting to the good part it stops... must have more!
Oh Myyyyy...
Awkward way to start things off. More please!
>>Peppy Greyskull
fine if i must have a complaint it is only that it was not much to read compared to other chapters
but at least we got one
Poor Rarity, what did she get herself into this time?
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
*Make pop-corn* This is going to be interesting.
Also, poor Twi. The following scenes will be awkward.
Oh god I love you Peppy, though you tease me with this unusually short chapter. Still... It's nice to know what Rarity is up to... Oooh you better get back to work right now, and come up with the next chapter in the following days, otherwise I'll.. I'll... have to wait! D:
Once again you troll us, seriously dude you need a troll face cutiemark, or a rage guy one, Either or.
791544
Okay... if you need complaints I only have one! How the hell could Rarity recognised Twilight the moment she stepped in!!!! I'd imagine she would think "Ohhh... I walk in on the Queen with some slutty mare pleasing her." Only later realising it was Twilight...
Anyway that's all the complaints I could muster since I love the chapter!!!
Have a nice one!
Short Chapter, but good!
I am not happy. Not at all. Why did you have to stop there, I wants more so bad. I command you to update we demand MORE!
Still one of, if not the, best stories I've EVER read. You will get no complaints from me. The only complaint, if you can call it that, is that the chapter was short compared to your usual. Other than that, nothing negative to be found. MUST HAVE MORE MOONLIGHT!!!! And, Twilight approves.
AWK-WARD!
MOAR! celestia damn it MOAR!
o and horray for more futamoon. good going there twi. also this is gonna be halarious rarity walking in on twi sucking off nmm. quite halarious
o and before i forget must bucking have MOAR!!
Oh dear....I was thinking she would have stopped by then.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw426_130722022622.png
... DAFUQ ONLY A 2K LONG CHAPTER?! CRUCIFIXION!
Peppy! You damned tease!
I think one of us has been a bad influence on the other. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png
Not sure which one though. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Like it really matters dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
It was far too short but strangely I was daydreaming about chapters of this fic before i saw it was updated this morning.... I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!!
LULZ!!!!!!
We have been waiting FOREVERRRRRR for an update, and this is it? Granted, not bad for what it is, but quite skimpy on the clop-details. Perhaps a lack of inspiration is to blame? Or maybe, as so often happens, life got in the way, eh?
The only technical hiccup I found was in the beginning, where the guards who were picking up Rarity were first identified as unicorns, then as pegasi. Fix that, and the chapter reads fine.
-twitchy eye- Tense shifting... It could kill the mood of a clop chapter for me... -twitch- Blasted OCD...
791641
Two words: Cutie Mark.
EDIT: Although, I still expect Peppy to write a scene with Rarity flipping out over it; it's too good ta pass up. HEAR THAT PEPPY!?
792167
Well that's assuming she has her on burnt cutie Mark on display... and earlier her own parents had trouble recognising Twilight when they saw her the first time after the transformation. Rarity just stepping in on such a scene and immediately recognising Twilight seems a little bit far fetched... But that's just my take on it. eeyup...
Twilight is my favorite pony! WHY YOU MAKE HER BE SUCH A WHORE????? I.. I.. can't live like this, goodbye *Jumps off tower*
... Well... THAT was fast...
Tucker: That's what SHE said! Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
(That referring to the chapter, that is. And... Seriously? THAT'S what NMM used her request on?! THAT'S... Ummm... ... Well... ... ... Meh, screw it. I suppose that's a pretty good use, since Twi wouldn't do that where they are otherwise! XD)
after some hours of thinking after reading this chapter......
I think I see where this is going.... but it may be spoilery, and I'm pretty sure you already know where this was all going Peppy.... but I think those last 2 chapters sent this story on the predictability path.....
792194
I kinda gotta agree on that. I mean Since the last time Rarity saw her she's changed coat color, mane color, size, body shape, eye color, acquired a rather impressive scar, and had one of her cutie marks covered by a brand. And as you said, her parents barely recognised her when they met, and Twilight has come closer to (dare I say it?) a more alicorn-esque body shape and size since then as it said in the bath scene that her body was still growing. It really does seem unlikely that she would immediately recognise her by sight alone. Particularly since she can only see Twilight's plot and maybe the back of her head......unless they moved on to another position.....but even then the main point stands.....
And man I hope Spike isn't following Rarity all that closely. It's pretty obvious that he tagged along to the castle, but imagine if he walked in on what Rarity just did? My vote goes to him being found by some of the guards and then "rescued" by Moonbeam and Cherry. Also, the next chapter should start from Twilight's perspective and show what led up to her being in the throne room in that particular position.
This chapter was awfully short, but cool
791565 Sorry. I get the colors for Cloudy mixed up all the gd time. I'll switch that. And the guards are supposed to be pegasi. Sky carriage and whatnot.
791641 Her flank was turned somewhat towards rarity to where her unbranded cutie-mark was showing. i thought I had that fleshed out properly, but idk. Cutie marks are hard to mistake XD
To everypony. That wasn't all of the chapter. I was just being an ass cause I could.I'll have the ending out Tomorrow morning after work. And I'll fix the stuff mentioned.
Love it! Good chapter, flowed good, and left off at a nice cliffhanger. Next chapter is certainly going to be interesting.
792699
I thought the ending was a bit wierd, you bastard!
792737 Hehe, yeah. Somepony last chapter told me not to end at a cliffhanger before the Rarity scene, so that's exactly what I did dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Pinkie_loool.png
792164 Hmmmm. Where did you see the tense shifting? I'll fix it, but I have difficulty noticing things like that myself.
"Rarity glared at the pair of unicorn soldiers she had allowed into her home"
then to
"The pale unicorn watched as the pair of pegasi marched out of her boutique,"
how know Nightmares solders could change like that
I still hope that the second part of chapter one big, weird joke...
792771
You are the true face of evil!!!
Put up the rest now... please! please! please! with a cherry on top!!!
I can't handle another day...
792699
Cutie Marks are hard to mistake? Riiiiiiight.
That's why we've got something like...thirteen hourglass marks, half a dozen barred musical notes, about 3 sets of triple diamond marks...
Real hard to mistake there, Peppy.
Either way...while I'm one of the ones who skip the clop-heavy chapters for the lite versions, I gotta say...I can't WAIT to see where this scene is going.
img.ponibooru.org/_images/4f203080aab30497b4bb68b958f88aed/71390%20-%20episode_29%20Hubble%20insane%20screencap%20twilight_snapple%20twilight_sparkl%E2%80%8Be%20wtf.png
waiting is fun
The guard that had been speaking to her loosed and exasperated sigh and turned to leave. that should totally be an
Well, I didn’t only come here to see how you were doings, Spikey-Wikey. doing
I’ll be leaving from the town center as soon as I get there, so could you be a dear and tell Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash for me (why is she talking about Rainbow Dash? Isn't Dash at Cloudsdale right now for basic training?)
Also, her name is "Applejack" it's just one word.
792808
At work now, I'll send you a private message later. You dont do it often, but it's one of my pet peeves.
792194
Now, now... I'm kinda on your side. Immediate recognition? No way. Rarity should have been confused, proceeded to gawk, gathered her senses, investigated, seen cutie mark, confused by differences, embarrassed by act, angry at public lewd behaviour.
In. That. Order.
The barrier has been... erected...
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
Pahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha truly rofl
793223
792771
Bingo on the order of reactions, that was more or less what I thought it would be. Since Rarity has an eye for detail, she might have been able to puzzle out that was twilight from her Cutie Mark, I'll give Peppy that. But still a little bit of her being gobsmacked at the view would have been nice...
not your best chapter, but a darn good one, mostly because of DAT CLIFFHANGER.
any idea if the next chapter will take as long to get out?
because im dying for more.
:3
792194
Viewing angle; parents had a frontal view where the cutie mark is not visible. Rarity can clearly see it.
793812
Come on Gwenio!!!! I was on a great rant here!!! don't use your fancy logic to confound me!!!
And I know Rarity can see Twilight Cutie Mark now since Peppy told me so! I'm not stupid you know... I just have bad luck when I think some times...