Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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100539 And there you go! Next chapter out for you to enjoy. Hope that the disabilities are permanent and if they are I apologize Glad I can brighten up your day though
so no kamehameha to the face then?
I wondered where all of my sleep has been going! You've been stealing it from me, haven't you!
Also, very cool little chapter. Was actually expecting this exactly as you laid it out too :P So it's not a great surprise to me.
Hope you had a great new year.
My disabilities are permanent and thanks i can't wait to see what happens next
100577 Not likely. Twilight doesn't want to go against Nightmare anymore. She has fully devoted herself to the alicorn.
100591 GOD DANG IT MAN.Ugh in my personal opnion you should have the mane 6 try to assainate Twilight no not NMM or MB just Twilight
100587 Guilty as charged, I guess. I don't MEAN to (I'm of course lying) but that's how it seems to work out. And yes my New Year's was quite nice. Got off work earlier than I thought so that was a pleasant surprise. And yeah, Rarity and AJ finding out about Twilight's act probably couldn't have gone any better considering that she had murdered one of Rarity's close friends and AJ just seems like the pony that wouldn't put up with stuff like that.
100590 That is sad to hear I hope I can continue to excite you though!
100602 Lol that wouldn't work out very well. The only one I could see actually trying to harm Twilight would be Rainbow Dash cause of her brash and somewhat aggressive nature, but none of the mane six would actually try and kill her. Just goes against the whole moral lines of ponies even if what Twilight did was bad. Especially for the mane six though.
100605 hmm moral lines.... did you think of that when you made them kill each other in an all out battle?
100609 The guards were trained for such a thing and the soldiers of Nightmare Moon were fighting to protect their families. Moral lines will be crossed when dire situations are at hand. The mane six don't have a prominent reason to actually kill Twilight. Sure, Celestia is gone and Rarity's best friend was killed, but Rarity would never take another's life as that isn't the generous thing to do. And while they were willing to harness the Elements of Harmony against the alicorn, they never intended to kill her.
100615 see yhis is what happens when you know this and the readers don't
100626 If you mean the NMM soldiers then I'm pretty sure I put something in the story explaining that. Should be pretty apparent that the six don't have any reason to kill 'cept for Rarity and if you think about it she wouldn't be able to bring herself to do it. I stick to canon as far as the original search for the Elements went.
100654 fair enough but still NMM needs a kamehameha to the face even if Twilight dosen't do it (immaturaity for the win)
100655
Just have Moon Beam do that as a prank, though she should probably get both NMM & Twilight at the same time so that NMM doesn't yell at her too much.
I'd avoid referring to eyes as '[colour] orbs'. It's overused, not great as a metaphor (eyes don't look like orbs when they're still in the sockets) and reminds people of this:
http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html
100707 No idea what that is and not sure i feel like reading it atm. I also think that was the first time ive used O.o
100707 Meh I'll read it and pony's eyes are more orb-like than people eyes.
Great Chapter Peppy. Will we be seeing more of Nightmare Moon's growing Empire i.e. Building up a new army to make up for the one at Ostagar I mean at Nightmare Moons Capital?
Also looking forward to when you might have Twilight discover Celestia's gamble on the Elements which has plunged the world into Eternal night
You shouldn't have worried so much about getting this out. You actually should have taken more time with it. It's painfully obvious how rushed this latest chapter is, especially in the second half. For example, take Rarity's reation upon hearing of Silent Brook's death. After hearing such news, I would think Rarity would be in shock for at least a few moments while the reality of the situation sank in. Instead, she immediately went from Twilight's best friend to her worst enemy in under two seconds.
Remember, deadlines don't exist when it comes to writing fanfiction.
Also, as for Cloudy's story, it does seem rather out of character for Celestia to jump to that kind of conclusion. She would let her defend herself, and should the story be unbelievable, she still wouldn't skip the trial. I'm sure there's more to it than what Cloudy understood of the events.
Good to see this up Peppy. Hope you're better soon.
100771
Think of it this way, the other option was to go to war with the Griffons (them imprisoning her scout can be explained as them wanting a reason for war, either the scout scouting or them trying to rescue him).
So either condemn one pony or let a bunch die, NMM/Twilight picked the other option in their story and you see how it turned out.
im afraid i have to agree pepps you can feel its been rushed....rarity should've had a more genuine reaction...and extending the talk between twilight and her friends would have been good as well as throwing in a bit of nightmare moons evil side to scare the crap out of all of them would've been fun too...but other than those small details i can think of nothing that would need changing
100680
Either that for she could fire her lazer!
I agree as well, the chapter did seem a little rushed. I personally would've made them get as far as the carriage with Twilight's head in a bag. She would end up struggling, take the bag off of her head, and then the argument would ensue. Somewhere along the lines NMM would show up laughing at the Elements. After another argument, the 'rescuers' are sent packing home while NMM and Twilight Sparkle walk back into the castle.
101024
What is wrong with with Rarity's reaction? She is in shock over the news. For something else the scene would need to be longer and then Twilight would tell the full story of Silent Brook's death. The omission could turn out to be important to the plot (after all, what Twilight did would be more understandable then).
101092
Ah, but there is no taking Twilight if Moon Beam is there to stop them.
100680 THAT'S BRILLIANT
I need more, this was to good
Holiday dinner fished, computer is on and Peppy was generous enough to have a chapter out you know I think this calls for a rambling nerd tangent better known as...
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Well It was good that we got some more information about Cloudy's backstory, While I agree that it does seem weird for Celestia to jump to conclusions like that and especialy not allow for a trial well as was pointed out before this was a bit of a no win situation for her. Sometimes leaders have to make those kids of choices while it doesn't really fit the toe of the show this is more of an alternet reality. We know for certian of atleast two wars fought in this version of Equestria's history both being cival wars insighted by Nightmare Moon with the first war being implied to have a rather heafty body count as well.
As for Cloudy herself she has every reason to bear such bitter hatered for Celestia. Nothing would sting worse then beaccused of killing your husbend especialy when you were fighting tooth and nail to get him home from out behind enemy lines yourself. Add onto that the insult of accusations of treason for failing to save the life of said spouce then being throw into prison without trial and being harrssed in said prision and even ending up loosing an eye, really it's quite the feat that she never tried to seek activ vengence on her own befor Nightmare Moon came into power.
I've got to hand it to brook she keeps finding new ways to twist the dagger she jabbed into Twilight's back even from beyond the grave. That's a skill that most comic book super villians can't even claim. Still one can't help but wonder how she became so bunny boiling obsessive about Celestia.
Now for the meat and potatoes of this chapter, the reactions of the failed rescue attempte. I'm going to give Applejack and rarity some brownie points here they both handled this quite well. Considering that AJ can be just as much of a hot head as Rainbow Dash and far more stubborn to boot if she really getrs going this was quite more than I expected. Rarity was probly too shocked to really react in full. Think about how much of a drama queen she tends to be on the show. Now of everyone the one that I'd keep an eye on is Spike. He has in essance lost the only family he has left at this point, though he didn't lose her to death no she turnned her back on him. I pity anyone who tries to reason with him because while he is in desporate need of help at the moment i can't see a dragon going through the five stages of grief well, especialy when he finds out about what Twilight did to Brook. I don't know who will bear more of his anger, twilight for turning on him, Nightmare for taking her away, or himself for not being able to rescue her befor this happened.
Twilight just can't catch a break anymore can she? Captured and tormented, attempts on her life, emotinaly manipulated, being forced to kill someone else do to circemstance, her own mind turning upon her, having her perception of her beloved mentore tarnished in such a way, and finaly the confrotation with her friends witch while it turned out far better then she could have hoped for will still weigh heavily upon her heart especaly what she said to Spike. Twilight is really going to need all the support she can get for qquite a while, Moon Beam will be glad to offer comfort Nightmare on the other hand is still someting of an unknown at this point.
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Well I'm done making myself look like a fool for now, thanks for the update and I hope you're feeling better peppy.
100739 Yeah, she'll rebuild and it'll be shown.
100771 101024 I think I've already explained that I HATE writing Rarity. It's difficult to think of stuff for her to say and to think of what she'd think. Rarity's a cool pony and all, but I can't stand writing her. Also, think of it this way, if you found out that one of your best friends killed another of your best friends and that first said best friend doesn't seem like she'd ever do such a thing, do you think most people would be able to just rage?
101127 This
101297 You know somepony's a mega bitch when they screw with you after death. Serious skill right there. I see AJ as the more level-headed of the mane six as long as she isn't being goaded into action like with the iron pony/running of the leaves thing. Yeah Twilight's had it rough to say the least. As far as the comfort thing goes, while Nightmare Moon isn't actively showing any type of care for the unicorn, there was that one moment when her facade was broken as Moon Beam helped her beg for the others' lives. It's definitely there, but will she actually act upon said feelings? Only time and writing will tell.
Ah, Superman now if only I could get myself to hear those lines in Brando's voice it would be so much the better. Though really Starlight has her work cut out for her, she has to get Twilight away from both Nightmare and Moon Beam. That right there is the sticking point Given twilight's state of mind at the moment having someone try to remove her from the only support she has would really do more harm then good.
I'll agree that bubw riine times out of ten AJ's got her feet on the ground and a level head, but well Applebuck season shows us just how stubborn she can really be. This crops up again in the Fall running of the leaves, and the episode set in appleoosa as well. Heck The ticet master also showed us that she isn't above bribery for a good cause as well. That's what four, five, episodes out of thirty so far? Like i was trying to say before when she gets some momentam behind her AJ can be just as bad if not worse then Rainbow Dash.
Really though Spike is the one I'm afriad of I don't want to know how he's going to take it when he finds out about Brook. I don't know who he'll turn his anger on but the three prime targets seem to be Himself, Nightmare, and Twilight. Damn no matter how that pans out it won't end well. I hearby award Brook the Scape Gaot Award. Feom now on till the end of the fic I'm blaming everything that goes wrong on her especaly if she isn't her fault. because while she isn't at fault for everything she's had her hoof in quite a bit of the major conflicts of the fic so far and well, she spat on the sympathy I felt for her and I don't take kindly to that sort of thing.
101444 Lol Scape Goat Award. Yeah AJ can be as bad as Rainbow, but once again only when goaded that way typically. She's independent (as shown in Applebuck Season) and of course stubborn, but thats not the type of situation I'd see her as seariously reacting negatively in. As far as Spike goes. That's going to be fun.
101385 Janus got it for me as I had no clue lol.
101506 It DOES have a dark tag so that wouldn't be too surprising, and all the stuff that's going on with Silent Brook is to push Twilight more towards Nightmare Moon. This was never supposed to be an 'everything works out all hunky dory' through the whole thing. I had planned at Silent Brook's betrayal since she was first introduced (convenient arrival, appearance in the meeting, working her way up to be right next to Nightmare Moon, etc.). What's an infiltrator's job to do? Get into the castle, establish yourself in a place of power or remain hidden behind the scenes, and then follow through with whatever plan you had when you arrived through whatever means possible. Twilight wasn't truly broken until Silent Brook's betrayal. Sure, she was dispirited and didn't have much hope other than the short respite that Silent Brook and Moon Beam brought, but she was never truly broken. I'm not exactly sure how I'm rewarding anypony but Nightmare Moon and that would only be because she's in a position of power. Silent Brook was killed for her actions. I wouldn't mind a little more explanation following that train of thought there. As far as it being depressing, it WILL get better. I never wanted it to be rainbows and sunshine because being enslaved against your will to a power hungry monarch with a very sadistic side is not that at all. I do understand your feel though. This type of stuff isn't for everypony and while I've promised happier stuff, not much has happened along those lines. The story is building though and as I promised it won't end poorly.
101557 Well you make some good points, I guess I was just a little upset by the whole Silent Brook ordeal when I made that comment. I probably should have expected as much coming into a story with a dark tag. I still don't agree with what happened but I'm definitely going to keep reading and see where this goes. As for the "rewarding" I was referring to Moon Beam and Cloud. I feel as if I'm being conditioned to like characters that just seem inherently evil, and it seems like they get a fair amount of positive light despite the fact that they are committing these terrible crimes. I'm not sure if you're doing this on purpose but you're doing a damned good job of it, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
Curse you! You've created a character that if I read any more of, I will die from adorableness, but have put her in a story that I can't stop reading! Knowing this may well end me, I've gone ahead and tracked this story....
Have you ever seen the Twilight Zone episode called "It's a good life"? That's basicaly what Moon Beam is she's a filly with incredible powe who sees the world through the simplistic lense of childhood. She's young enough that she doesn't really care for any aside from those she calls friends and family, however unlike the boy from that episode Moon Beam does listen to her elders. The problem is that said elders inclued Nightmare Moon who by far holds the most influence over her and is shaping her the way she sees fit. Don't think I'm trying to excuess her actions no I'm just trying to say that between being raised as something between beloved daughter and living WMD plus the typical selfcentered mindset of that stage of childhood it really is simpal to understand how she behaves the way she does.
Self confidence is a majore sticking point of Twilights as is pride oddly enough. While Twilight takes pride in her status as Celestia's favored student she seems to doubt her worthyness of that position. Even in the first episode we see this, working through summer break and trying to warn the princess of an issue so that she could take the needed steps to resolve the situation. Notice how Twilight gave up her childhood in it's entirty to devote herself to her magical studies.
For the better part of her life she shared living space with Nobility yet with the possible acception of fancy Pants is a seemingly unknown presence in the Canterlot upper crust. Next we have boast busters where even though Twilight at that point knows atleast twentyfive spells ( I say atleast twentyfive as I'm counting the want it need it even though it and most of her other tricks are unshown.) Yet all it takes is a few rather blunt comments by her fiends directed at a show mare with a ham content approaching Shattern levels to undermin her confidences for fear of aleinating her friends. Then look at Return of harmony and Lesson Zero where fate seems to go out of it's way to kick her square in the pride. We get to see the local trickster god strutting his stuff, Twilight jumping to a hasty conclusion that worsens the situation, her friends basicaly turn on her, and her self confidence shattered when she failed to stop Discord the frist time. After that we get a look into how Twilight goes about her daily life(more so then most episodes at first.) While the show mostly did it for comedic effect look at just how much effort she puts into having everything work by falling into a set pattern, then take a look at how she reacts when that pattern is broken.
It kinda makes me wonder if to a degree if twilight isn't scared of her own power. In the Cutie Mark Chronicales we get a look at some of the pivital turning points in her life, one such turning point includes her accidentaly turning her parents into potted plants. In Swarm of the century, Bird in the Hoof, and Lesson Zero we see how much she values Celestia's opion of her, and how she'll to peices if she sees a risk real or imagend of letting down her mentore. Yet in Dragon shy, Over barrel, and Feeling Pinkie Keen that she can keep her head together in a crisis. Twilight is odd in that she'll put faith in others but not herself most seem to have the inverse of that problem.
Maybe the tough love of NMM coupled with the childish encouragement from Moon Beam will give her confidence in her self, cause lord knows she wasn't getting any from the quite motherly guidance of celestia. Who knows maybe she just needs to be told to accept her self not be treated to a trollestia mind game ?
101734
You claim that your Wall-o-text is often typo ridden, do you need a proofreader for them? goodness knows, you've already posted enough to make up a story itself
101629 Haha confuzzled feelings! I don't really see that Moon Beam and Cloudy are evil per se. They are under direct orders of Nightmare, but the only thing evil about Moonie is what makes her morph and Cloudy is just filled with all kinds of loathing for the sun princess. The only one I could truly see as evil is Nightmare, but even that is semi-limited as she has show kindness and such. And, honestly, how could you NOT just LOVE Moon Beam. Cutest. Filly. Ever.
102071That is as likely to kill you by ripping you to pieces as by making your head explode from adorableness
87743 ~yay~ I liek winning internets!
102135 Exactly
Thanks for the offer rebelfire but I don't think that'd work I really can only write well in bursts right as it comes to mind otherwise I focus on the problems I know I have when typing/writing get hyper critical then nothing gets written. Said issues being that while i read rather well oddly enough i tell to spell phoneticly, after that comes grammer, you have no idea how much it bothers me to have ideas for a noval floating about in my head but not being able to express them to my own satisfaction.
Really to honest i was just spit balling with that last comment I have a bit of intrest in the feilds of psychology and scoasoligy but aside from taking a few classes in ighschool and college a few years back i've got no real knowlege in either field, so ethier I just BSed up something probible or I got lucky and pulled a few tidbit of triva together to make a sound argument by luck of the draw. Also I don't think it's been close to year has elapsed for twilight as the Christmas chapter is set roughly six monthes ahead of the current timeline if I'm recalling what peppy said a while ago it's probibly been something closer to two or two and a half monthes since the summer sun celibration.
I just wanted to say that I rarely comment or review the stories that I read. And it's only when I have e-mail alerts on AND I still check to see if the story has been updated every five minutes when I know that I am dealing with a REALLY great story. So kudos to you sir for writing a fantastic piece of work!
102680 Why thank you. Always makes my ego swell when people leave comments like yours
Hmm. I guessed Silent Brook was the spy all along, but was surprised to find she acting so hostile towards Twilight. One question though. Was she Rarity's 'genuine' friend? I mean was Silent Brook hiding something from Rarity just like she did to Twilight? Or did she really like Rarity and wanted to help? I really like how Nightmare Moon is not always so cruel and dark, but has her own moments of showing compassion and pity...same goes for Silent Brook, or was she simply putting up her mask?
102946 Silent Brook was really Rarity's friend. Rarity was the only real friend that Brook actually had. As far as the mare's hostility towards Twi goes, she was orphaned and taken in by Celestia only to be usurped by some random unicorn that caught the Princess's fancy. She had every right to be pissed, but even I'll admit that it definitely wasn't the way to go. She was, of course, not rational in her thinking. The only pony that Brook actually took a liking to was Moon Beam because she's adorable and a filly. Every other act of kindness towards Twilight or anypony other than Rarity was a mask.
Also, to kick off the next page of comments:
If you notice how Nightmare Moon addresses Twilight, you'll see a changing demeanor towards her. Just a heads up. If ya don't notice just tell me and I'll make it more obvious.
Uhm, is it the first time that NMM calls Twilight by her name? That seems part of the change to me. Or she not using the word 'slave' anymore.
Am interested how would this play out. Even if Princess Celestia would be back and NMM be defeated, Twilight's friends know that she killed a pony. I really think the mane six cannot go back to their old self even after this is all over.
Ideed though really it speaks volume to the credit of the others that they would risk so much for twilight given that they knew her for a day at most. Granted that things were for the most part so inocent durring Celestia's reigh that such a friendship could form over so short a span of time, then throw in the trials and tasks they overcame on the trip to the ruined castil in the Everfree and most important of all Twilight trading her freedom for thiers that night roughly three monthes ago andit really shouldn't surprize that they were so willing to offetr a helping hoof.
I wonder, if I didn't stumble onto something in an eirler post. I mean could it be that Twilight is somewhat afriad of her own power? We have some evidence that might point in that direction. First we have her post Rainboom magic outburst witch among other things Made Spike a gaint, turned her parents into potted plants, and had her and the procters flaoting about the room. Next we have, her seeming lack of faith in her abilities as shown in Boast Busters. Followed up by her rage flare in Feeling Pinkie Keen, and then we get to see what happens when she does use caution with her abilities in Lesson Zero. Though really this is all just guesswork on my end.
Hey peppy a quick question if I may? Is Nightmare Moon able to talk to Celestia, and if so has she gloated to her about her position in Twilight's life?
103431 She can talk to the sun like you would when you pray or what not, but not directly. It'd be up to whether or not Celestia is trying to watch Equestria. So, yes. Yes she can. Cause Celestia would always be watching.