Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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I really like the story so far, but my main quibble is: Twilight Sparkle is still the well trained, highly resourceful student of Celestia's that she was at the start of the series. She had barely had enough time to see the magic of friendship, so she should still be the antisocial but HIGHLY nerdy unicorn she was described as at the start, even without her powers. I can't imagine her responding to a traumatic situation, going on for months, where she's spending huge amounts of time alone, with anything other than intellectualizing all of her problems and turning them into academic exercises.
Even if she's supposedly broken, which I don't buy since she's still willing to do insanely risky stuff to stop Moon Beam and to be with SB, she should still be spending all her time thinking about magical theory, trying to remember any possible way to remove or bypass magic binding (which I can't imagine a student of her nerdery not having heard of, either in military, historical or magical texts), the nature of the elements and how they were defeated, getting SB to bring her books and take them away before NM returned etc....
I'm not saying she would be successful, I'm just thinking that spending months on end doing nothing, even in a bad situation, isn't really in character for Twilight.
Other than that though, great story.
I really like the story so far, but my main quibble is: Twilight Sparkle is still the well trained, highly resourceful student of Celestia's that she was at the start of the series. She had barely had enough time to see the magic of friendship, so she should still be the antisocial but HIGHLY nerdy unicorn she was described as at the start, even without her powers. I can't imagine her responding to a traumatic situation, going on for months, where she's spending huge amounts of time alone, with anything other than intellectualizing all of her problems and turning them into academic exercises.
Even if she's supposedly broken, which I don't buy since she's still willing to do insanely risky stuff to stop Moon Beam and to be with SB, she should still be spending all her time thinking about magical theory, trying to remember any possible way to remove or bypass magic binding (which I can't imagine a student of her nerdery not having heard of, either in military, historical or magical texts), the nature of the elements and how they were defeated, getting SB to bring her books and take them away before NM returned etc....
I'm not saying she would be successful, I'm just thinking that spending months on end doing nothing, even in a bad situation, isn't really in character for Twilight.
Other than that though, great story.
Yay, update.
I can't wait to see what twilight does as supporting NMM becomes a worse and worse option for keeping the body count low...
86956 Yeah, I know. You have to remember thought, there isn't much to read up on the elements of harmony other than those 2 books in the show (the one about NMM and the other about where they were last seen) She had tried to solve everything through thinking, but would you really be able to do that all the time when you've almost been killed over and over? NMM sees her as broken (cause she doesn't know about her and Brook) not Twilight herself. And all the books in NMM's castle are ones from the canterlot library (which Twilight has most likely already read at least I'd like to believe she has) Nightmare Moon would never leave Twilight with books that she could learn from to free herself and, even if she did, Twilight can't use her magic anyways. As i showed in whatever ch the guards use the anti-magic spell, the ring on Twi's horn is very powerful considering it was made by an alicorn. I definitely see where you're coming from though. Guess I'll just chalk it up to being how I write
86962 Yesssssss... Support NMM and watch as thousands of ponies die, or help the guards and most likely get killed herself. not much of an option there for her huh?
Dragons...this story got 20% cooler
...how dare they insult twilight ILL KILL EM also me thinks NMM will release twilights magical power to either stop the dragons or to save moon beam
Great chapter, silly Cloudy Horizon, of course NMM knows who Twilight is, she is the Goddess of the night after all, and has had twilight enslaved since chapter 1.
Now go do 300 sit ups cloudy
86985 Technically dragons were already in it. Kinda. Moon Beam could shift into one.
87003 rofl
87152 Well Cloudy hadn't seen Twi with NMM so her reaction was reasonable. Even if NMM hadn't enslaved Twi, she couldn't sense specific individuals ot discern pony from animal (hence why they had no idea about the dragons) But ya. Shame on you Cloudy
OH SHI-
Nightmare moon needs... she needs...
4.bp.blogspot.com/-LwzVNxN_ZLY/TstYiKX_jgI/AAAAAAAAAbs/T-2lbD80lXg/s1600/1321945401773.jpg
THE DOVAHKIIN
87719 LOL I was gonna post something like this when I got back but it seems somepony beat me to it! You, my friend, win some internet
87493 "Technically dragons were already in it. Kinda. Moon Beam could shift into one."
What about Spike? He is a dragon.
87493Yhea, but not big, mean, scary, fire breathing, eat a pony up in one gulp dragons
88079 This
Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays all!
Hey guess what incomming nerd rant!
Wall-O-Text!
Poor Nightmare Moon she's about to learn a lesson the Twilight herself is struggling with in the show "Plans never survive frist contact with the enemy." You'd think after the banishment to the moon she would consider this but well as has been estrablished before arrogence is a major flaw of hers.
TWilight may not be fully broken yet but her beatings, being sepirated from Spike and the rest, "Planning sessions," time with Moon Beam, the weight of her faled use of the EoH and in geniral time with Nightmare Moon is slowly doing the job so while Nightmare isn't entirely right here she is close.
Really she has all of three rays of hope though she's more heavily invested in two of them. Ray nuber one is her friends that she got to know on the to the Everfree Castle though I don't see her investing too much into this option as really Nightmare has done an excilent job of isolating her.from the outside world. Number two is Silent Brook one of the few beings in Nightmare's castle that doesn't see her as an object to be used and abused or as a whore, I can see that she has a very large emotinal investment her yet I don't see this ending well at all. Finaly we have hope spot number Three Moon Beam who Twilight grows more attaced to everyday I'd say that Twilight has just as much faith invested with her as she does with Brook. This however comes with the foot note that as much as Moon Beam cares for Twilight she loves Nightmare far more and like I said I can see Nightmare finding out about this and using it to her own advantege, so really it will only be a matter of time before she has nowhere else to turn to save for Nightmare.
Much as I don't like the staff talking smack about Twilight I can see where they get the ideas they have about her from. Though really the one making the point about her not complaining is being really thick here. When you are being all but lead about with a bridle by the bloodthirsty moon goddess who keeps you around partly for her pleasure and partly as a way to thumb her nose at big sister I doubt that the option of complaining about being lashed with a whip or magical fire, or being force choaked comes up often even if it does invoking said option will only lead to more of the same if not something far more harsh.
Well my nerd juice has ran out some I'm just going to wrap this up.
Wall-O-Text
This Wall-O-Text has been brought to you by Bolthouse Farm Smoothies because Seth Macfarlin isn't the only one who can run a joke into the ground.
88207This...what?
The battle plans between Cloudy and NMM were well written. Twilight's plans with Brook are really bringing out the feel of a deadly court of intrigue. I'm looking forward to the battle.
"the castle and the walls, We'll have a small group" - Either that's supposed to be a period, or you accidentally put a capital letter there
87719 a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/w/awwyeahplz.png
88382
i.qkme.me/35oxdj.jpg
DRAGONS?! B-buh-but... What about Moon Beam?! She can't face ALL of those dragons by herself, can she?! *Continues to read, worried*
WAY TO GO FLUTTERSHY! WAY TO GO!
"The pleading look that the filly put on could have felled lesser beings"
That's the one, the sentence that has finally killed me
There is a way to make the battle unbalanced beyond belief. Just let the Empire Of The Rising Sun join the Celestial Army.
Oh the beautiful image of The Saint of Swords(Shogun Executioner) demolishing Nightmare Moon's army and castle while getting anti-air support from Jet Tengus...
>They will likely attack head on due to a lack their lack of any other way through the wall
u wot wot m8
>Plots will unfold
OH MY~
cdn.alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/large/fuck-yeah-aww-yeah-l.png
shit just got real.
BAM! Cliffhanger and dragons, all in one chapter. So beautiful...
Come on Celestia! Kick some ass! Woo!
I kept thinking they had dragons, and now I know.
*Night Fury! Get Down!*
Dragons?! *Pulls out iPone*
Dragonborn? Ya, it's me. Remember that one favor you owe me? Well, I have a *slight* dragon problem......
I wonder if Moon Beam can transform into anything else?