Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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88382 That comment. Silly
88282 Ohohoho You need to read the next chapter. Like now. Srs Bsnss.
88399
This is one of the best things I've read!
Silent Brook yoooouuuuu nube, you broke twilight's will, well done you've just given the enemy the single most powerful unicorn to ever exist ever, by her own free will no less. Well done
88433 Haha. What can I say? Brooksie is the bitch of the year. But! At least the true shipping can begin! FINALLY! Amirite?
88431 Oops thought I had that in the first comment but: Thank you
88434(clears throat)LET TRUE LOVE REIGN....hold up, what about the rest of the Main 6, they aren't going to be happy about this
88442 Haha you'll see. It's gonna a bumpy ride to say the least.
LOL by the end I was half expecting them all to appear before twilight, and be asked to save nightmare moon. -laughs- Specially when Silent started slamming her about.
we need to save nightmare moon!
WHAT?
88469
added thought: then again.. maybe the shock of "Wait she just BUSTED OUT OF MAGICAL CHAINS MADE SPECIFICALLY BY A DIETY TO HOLD A SPECIFIC TARGET, Teleported, healed the party's tank, AND Defeated the enemy all in one Turn of action?" hasn't really hit yet.
wait did you just use unicorn magic tobust out of a unicorn Magic canceling device?
yeah, so?
thats against the rules isn't it?
screw the rules im the pet of nightmare moon.
Some where far away
that's my girl..
Oh wow, I knew that Twi's emotinal investment in Brook wouldn't end well at all but this wasn't how I was expecting it to turn out at all! That was one hell of a dirty trick peppy, and I loved it! Heh Brook here's a question for you to ponder as you bleed out who's the real monster here you or Twilight?
Her scfrew up lead to this battle happening sooner then it would have had she not stopped Moon Beam. Yours on the other hand not only drove Twilight to seek comfert from Nightmare Moon, but odds are just got her to sever ties with the rest of the ponyvill crew. Thus either rendering the EoH either usesless (best case) or worse devided and the eliment of magic serving Nightmare! Good lord I haven't seen someone screw up on this kind of scale save for emporer Geshtal in FFVI!
Ah, thank you thank you thank you
I enjoyed this chapter so much ^^
Wow... Just... Wow. Excellent work Peppy.
88433
Total n00b.
Partially right, didnt guess the deception of Twi but guessed she was the one suggesting the hits heh.
Oh well, if NMM remembers where she saw Rarity before Twi will probably have to pick between them and her
Now i really wonder if you plan a happy happy end like in the show did (Luna returning) ,or happy "Twilight will serve NMM for eternity and fuck Celetia" "happy"(for someone ) ending
And over 9000 ponies died and Twilight doesnt give a shit.
wait a moment...OVER 9000!!!?!?!?!?
cache.ohinternet.com/images/thumb/1/1e/Over_9000_Vector_by_Vernacular.jpg/618px-Over_9000_Vector_by_Vernacular.jpg
You did it in purpose didnt you
88543 LOL Holy crap I wasn't even paying attention to the number totals! Oh god that made me laugh so hard I should have caught that. I can tell you thought that it WILL be a happy ending. I don't like sad endings at all. AT. ALL.
88477 You can bet your sweet sweet nipples that Twilight is going to serve Nightmare Moon. The betrayal of Silent Brook DESTROYED the world she had built up about her thus sending her into the arms of the only other mare she's known for any amount of time.
88473 Screw the rules I have purple hair? But yeah, Twilight IS the Element of Magic. She has UNBELIEVABLE magical powers especially when her emotions run wild. Like when she had the piss scared out of her by that sonic rainboom.
And I should let you all know that I am working on the Christmas Special. Three chapters in one day... My brain is going to explode thrice.
88568
YAY ,now i can continue reading knowing it will be a happy ending,when i get the feeling there wont be one i tend to procrastinate with reading the next chapter, usually can stretch from a day to a week or more till i pony up enough to do it
I just hate seeing this pastel colored ponies suffer,but if it was some other universe i would lol at the misery.
88581 I know what you mean. I can deal with stuff like what I'm writing and similar things, but if ALL the characters that the author makes you grow fond of die or if things just don't turn out well, it tempts me to just drop it. Almost stopped reading FoE: Heroes cause of just that thing.
88593 Yeah i kinda expected some people to grow attached to her. I'll have you know that that's how i had that planned to go from the beginning though. I've got the basic plot line (hehe plot line) mapped out in my head and pretty much just write in the details around that. Also I wasn't sure what you were talking about as far as the hulking out went. I just read it and lol'd I will tell you though that Twilight didn't intend to kill Brook. She just no longer cared that it had happened and wasn't too excited to save her like she did Moon Beam.
88602 I know what that means. I was talking about how I didn't know who you wanted her to hulk out against Awesome pic tho. It made me
....i was the opposite i wasnt a big fan of silent brook....i was hoping something would happen to her....ALTHOUGH this is getting interesting and thank you PEPPY cause now i have the will to write AGAIN!
Damn crazy shit awesome chapter
That was a truly Awesome Chapter there Peppy. I really, really enjoyed it. You make the best use of your characters and you make unintentional over 9000 jokes + give us an epic battle.
You've made my sick day a lot less gloomy too so thanks for that
Dat Chapter. Great ending to this one, can't wait to read where it goes next.
"YOU FOALS KNOW NOT WHO YOU ARE SPEAKING TO! I BOW YO NOPONY! YOUR TIME IS NIGH!" I dunno if I should be a grammar nazi and all, but i think you were trying to say to and neigh? i dunno XD but another greater chapter as usual
So, I guess next up is the attempted rescue of Twilight by her friends? They were planning to do so after the battle as I recall.
Seems they may be a bit too late...
Hopefully they arrive well before anypony that mights stop them recovers from the battle. They will need time to process the fact that does not want to be rescued at the moment.
I was enjoying this story up until this point, but this chapter just took a turn for the worst. I'm sorry but the betrayal by Silent Brooke is absolutely ridiculous considering all that has happened. Her special talent being "espionage" really just sounds like an excuse to cover up major issues with her character and a way to bring about a new plot twist. In short, it felt cheap. Not to mention that Twilight's stance on mortality and murder is far too extreme for her character, especially under the circumstances of her confinement. If Twilight was so easily "broken" by Nightmare, why is it that she clings to this view so resolutely? I know that you hinted at the possible corruption of Silent Brooke at the beginning of the story but the lengths she goes to are a bit unbelievable. The story overall seems to be rewarding evil characters and actions, you might as well line up the mane 6 and slap them in the face rather than being so indirect. This is definitely the most depressing piece of fanfiction I have ever read, rewards for the reader for sitting through all the dark content are dished out sparingly and then are abruptly taken away.
Loveeeeeeeeee ! This story is amazing. Im rather glad that NM won, Lets hope that she will treat Twilight with a bit more respect from now on.
THIS IS IT I'VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS TO HAPPEN THANK YOU !!!!!
Best chapter so far (except for all the blood and gore... I feel slightly sick right now)
134838 Oh, get over it.
This IS the best chapter so far though. I've always had trouble writing about what was happening in an ongoing battle, and this story gave me quite a few pointers. Thank ya kindly Peppy.
155559 Not a problem. Battle scenes are always my faves. You can do so much with them. It's difficult, yes, but very fun.
Wow. I was proven wrong, and yet... Horribly, terribly, I feel like this makes sense.
Brook? What a bitch.
Dayum, girl. You need some sorta mental health training, seriously. You admitted that you could worm your way into any position. I bet you did just that exact same thing to Celestia when you killed your parents for not buying that cute dress when you were five.
For some reason, I pictured Silent Brook as Silver Spoon but with different color schemes. NOW I know why! The ending surprised me. I thought Twilight would have teleported to her friends!
That.. was totally unexpected... The ending, I mean. Wow. Great battle, vivid descriptions. That ending... I'm just amazed and flabbergasted right now.
322640 Yeah. I got a lot of that for sure.
"tossed up dirt. just as the first five were" -
"Blood spewed from Moon Beam's wounds , but, as she" -
"Moon beam breathed in" -
"Every pony
shifted their focus" - What's up with this?
88600 dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/twilighthulk.png
Hmm...
I'm gonna have to agree with 101506 . The betrayal felt a little sudden and unbelievable, and at this point evil characters seem to be getting rewarded for mass-murdering good characters.
I'll keep reading though and see how it all plays out
418958 This is one of those fics where the 'bad guy' wins, in this case, Nightmare Moon. I never really understood mower's comment about how evil characters get rewarded for their actions. Nightmare Moon is hated. She is attacked all the time, but only prevails because she is more powerful and has greater influence than her enemies. Brook's betrayal was set up from the start though with hints to her involvement in events. She used her special talent, sure espionage might not be the best term for it, but it describes her ability to blend and convince really well (better than any other word I could think of ) She got close to Twilight to learn about Nightmare's weaknesses when she realized Twilight's budding connection with the queen and her entire purpose of doing it was to kill the one pony that got rid of the only pony that had cared about her when she was a filly.
101506 And to finally respond to this (I'm sorry I haven't. I wasn't really awake when I read through these the first time forever ago) It is a Dark tagged story. I'm not quite sure what you expected from it. Also, if you could point out the major issues with SB's character instead of just mentioning them off-handedly, it'd help your point a little bit better. I really don't understand too much of what you were talking about right there.
...
I don't even know what I'm supposed to be thinking/feeling right now... *Keeps reading*
"YOU FOALS SHALL PERISH BEFORE THIS NIGHT IS OVER!"
Wouldn't that simply mean that they shall perish sometime between now and eternity? I mean.. eternal night.. n' stuff.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/200/296/Waht%20a%20twist.jpg
834658 Your pic is borked
Beautiful just beautiful I knew this chapter was going to be good but oh my God you surpassed my expectations and then kept on going.
it brings manly tears to my eyes
I love this so much
Thank you just thank you
Well... personally I felt like this is one of the weakest chapters I've read of your work. And I like your work. Now keep in mind that while I might tear into this chapter for the most part have really enjoyed this story.
Why do they always reveal their plans right before the end? Right before they're able to pull them off... EVERYONE always does it... usually the "bad" guys but the "good" guys do it too. Also... I don't get Silent Brook anymore. I can get the whole wanting to get close to Twi and NMM of them so 1) she can get close enough to actually kill NMM and 2) so it'll hurt when she turns on Twi... but from her own thoughts, her own private personal thoughts, it felt like she did like Twi. If there's going to be a betrayal and a "I've always hated you!" then having that characters personal thoughts tell us, the readers, that she DOES care for Twi at least in some sense really makes it confusing when the "I've always hated you!" comes out. Silent Brook just feels... REALLY out of character here from the way you've crafted her. Which is odd seeing as how you're usually pretty good about keeping the ponies in the character you've set them in.
I also feel like Twi is kinda a carpet/doormat. She hasn't seemed interested in getting Celestia back at all. So when NMM said that Twi had been "broken" I kinda had this face: Because I felt like Twi really hadn't changed from when she'd been taken. She hadn't had a spark of defiance in her sense she teleported her friends away in the very beginning. Ever sense then though... she's just rolled over.
Another note on the Twi thing... right I can understand not wanting to kill someone... I definitely know the pacifist ideas and thoughts of "no one deserves to be killed" but... well even if she IS pissed beyond belief at Silent Brook and moves to kill her (bye bye pacifism) I don't quiet understand why she'd then turn to NMM... who took Celestia from Twi. Because I haven't read anything different from your story I'm going with that "canon" that Twi is 100% devoted to Celestia and would do just about anything she asks... and sense she hasn't tried to do anything to free, or even thought about Celestia, sense her capture I felt like when Twi's magic came racing back she'd deal with Silent Brook and then turn to find the one person who'd Twi is devoted to. Her teacher and mentor, Celestia. But, instead she turns to NMM. Which would work... but I guess I just haven't gotten enough of a sense of a feeling of abandonment/betrayal for Twi to warrant turning to NMM for comfort. And I don't think feeling betrayed by Silent Brook would be enough. It could be the thing that pushes her over the edge and to NMM, but I feel like she'd need to feel abandoned by everyone else before she'd go to NMM. After all... NMM kinda isn't someone I'd want to turn to for comfort.
And as for the battle... well it certainly ended quickly. At least it felt like it did. It felt like it was about 30 minuets or so, if it was any longer there wasn't really a good sense of the battle drawing out... despite the fact that it consisted with thousands of soldiers. Also... I failed to get a good sense of WHY all those soldiers were fighting FOR NMM rather than AGAINST her. I noticed the talk of "fear for their families" and I'm guessing that NMM had threatened to murder their families if they didn't fight for her. However, if that's the case then it becomes REALLY important to impart a feeling of not just fear but utter terror and beyond. After all if fear is what's holding NMM's army together for the most part... all it would take is a single spark of hope to turn on her. And with an army of soldiers loyal to Celestia bearing down on you... I feel like that would give me hope. If NMM suddenly has no army... well then she's kinda done for. The way around that of course is to really dig in and show the readers just how scared these soldiers are. They're beyond reasonable thinking, they're beyond rational thought. Just... do what ever they're told so that their families aren't harmed.
finally it all makes sence all the peices were there and know i see it so well placed im at a loss for words
SILENT BROOK!!!!
I THOUGT YOU CARED ABOUT HER!
...So Twilight was actually 'Broken'? Damn... I thought she was strong enough to withstand... Thought she was going to use this one chance to kill Nightmare Moon and bring back Celestia...
1556122 Here's the deal: Silent Brook had, in Twilight's eyes, become her rock. She was the one pony who Twilight believed would always be kind to her and never betray or abandon her. After Silent Brook revealed her true colors, Twlight's world had been shattered, so she turned to the closest pony who had never lied to her. Said pony was Nightmare Moon. It's that simple.
You are freaking terrible at writing battle scenes, all those numbers in the text REALLY dragged it down, haha.
But I gotta say, that sudden heel-turn by Silent Brook was freaking amazing. Espionage ponies are best ponies! You'd think she wouldn't announce her plans like a comic book villian, but hey, ponies. Twilight is now fully inducted by her Stockholme syndrome, and she's pretty much completely broken and loyal now. I'm very interested to see where this goes.
This is the point where I fear this story has lost it's coherency.
Interesting premise to start with, but the battle scene was lacking and Twilight... I get that an attempt was made at working Stockholm syndrome into her character, but the execution was far FAR too weak. Instead of making us try and empathize with Twilight, all that's left is malcontent disgust.
Awwww this is so sweet! In a... sick... twisted... and demented way, but still sweet!