Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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Wasn't expecting to see Fancy Pants
She could tell that he was comfortable in his surrounds,
Pretty certain this should be "surroundings".
but I can't do anything but sit her...'
Last word should be "here".
You certainly have a rather unique story idea and I commend you for the quick updates. Might want to get a good editor though. I'm not particularly adept at catching errors, but these two were pretty obvious and hopefully something a good editor would catch.
As for the story itself, it's pretty decent. It's fun enough to follow through, but it's not even close to the best of the fandom. Generally, it's the pacing and leaps of logic that bring me "out of it", so to speak. Still, I'm enjoying it despite that and you have shown immense improvements since the earlier chapters.
Woo update. Great chapter as usual. Can't wait for the next one.
'Court is now in session' for a title??
112445 I don't actually edit the stuff until after the update as I don't have anyone to edit them other than myself most of the time. It gets difficult to catch stuff like that when you speed read through it. I also write very early in the morning so I tend to go to sleep about an hour or so after I update. And I know it's not the best. I try to do the best that I can. The leaps and stuff that like are more there so I don't have to shove useless filler in there. The story has a timeline I want it to go by and I don't want to be that guy that just shoves shit into the story to make it as long as I can like certain anime and stuff (not gonna name any names, but I'm sure you know what I mean). I'll be sure to go in there and fix those now though. (The mane reason why I don't catch stuff like that is that it's not spelled incorrectly and therefore doesn't show up in the site's spellcheck.)
112442 He's a cool guy and I figured he'd be quite at home in the job I have him set as. Everypony in the show seemed to hang off of his words like he had some very high position in Equestrian Society so I morphed that to fit my needs.
112433 112446 *ego expands* Haha thanks!
112449 I thought of that, but it doesn't fit the theme I've had going for the titles. Just doesn't feel 'right'. Thanks for the offer though!
"Royal Pains and Loyal Gains"? Kinda suits it I think. Nice chapter =]
112486 Haha I like that! It makes me giggle. That could very well work. I thank ye.
Hey Peppy do you on occasion take suggestions for characters? If so I have one that may interest you.
Love your story by the way. Very unique.
112503 It depends. I will at least hear you out as far as suggestions go, but I have a predetermined set of ponies/stuff that I'm going to put into the fic. If it fits what I'm going for or can possible help the plot, I may add it (and tribute you in the author's notes, but it's not highly likely. Thank you for the praise too! Oh! message me about the character if you like. I'd love to hear about it either way.
This chapter was everything I was hoping it would be . I really enjoy the direction you're taking this story, Nightmare has shown her attitude to pompous Royalty. (I like what you did with Blueblood btw ) And I liked Fancy Pants inclusion, there's just something likeable about that Pony .
I enjoy the direction your taking Queen Moon & Twilights evolving relationship, from Pet to Personal Servant. And thinking about Twilight's feelings in what she now recognizes as a powerful asset and companion. I felt a smile creep on my face at Blueblood's treatment, I guess I'm a sucker for Blueblood getting a beatdown
Anyway after reading this chapter I have nothing but hope and good feelings towards the future chapters of this story
And now I present Nightmare's most loyal Knight.
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I hope Blueblood is crossing the street and then he gets hit by a chariot.
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I have to say i like the spike and fluttershy scene. Very Touching.
The only name I can think for that pony is: Lance.
Perhaps Brave Lance.
one word: awesome
112535
hmm if I am not mistaken that image is a ponified and gender-bent version of sigfried/Nightmare from the soul caliber series of games I would reconize that twisted mutant claw and oversized organic sword on her back anywhere the eye on her flank is another rather distinct clue given it looks like the eye on the more common version of the sword
If you are open to it, I would be happy to help preread or edit for you. I have some experience and particularly strong English literary skills.
Wow wasn't expecting an update today (I was guessing tomorrow or Sunday) thus this is a very welcome surprize. As for what I meant about teasing in my last comment I was refering to your joke about, "Both kinds of plot."
All right keep your arms and legs inside the chariot at all times while the vehicle is in motion it's time for another Wall-O-Text!
Court is now in session please form a single file line of blithering morons! that said I wonder just how large the noble/ elite cast in Canterlot is? Given that equestria is a rather good sized kingdom I would be shocked if there weren't alot of titles left over from the forming of the nation. I mean really we learned not too long ago that it was formed by the merging of three sperate nations witch each had here own goverments and nobles, granted so far things seem to have shifted to the favor of the unicorns over time but I bet there's quite a few Earth Pony and pegesis familys with noble titles as well. Anyone wanna bet that Blueblood is from Princess Platinume's line? I hope he is because I'd hate for him to be the legecy of Clover the Clevor.
Well it's good to know that Twilight is being treated with more respect now, I'm betting that the way things have gone today will take a bit of pressure off her mind lord knows she could use a break from the malestrum of guilt, selfloathing, and fear whirling round her head. Ah Fancy Pant one of the few nobles with his head exposed to freash air. I think Nightmare just found her advisore weather he can be as trusted as Twilight or Cloudy has yet to be seen but that's part of the fun now isn't it. Also I love how he was smart enough to reighn in nightmare's rather brash tendances yet still give her what she wanted. Like i said before Nightmare is many things, and while Stupid isn't one of them Dipolmatic doesn't seem to be on that list either. She can hide her emotions and intentions if she wants to but well maybe it was all the brown nosing but today she didn't really work to hide her disgust of the upperclass at all.
Poor Spike the guy's been hit pretty hard by this whole situation hasn't he? First he had to see the rest of the eliments come home without Twilight, then they probibly told him how that happened. Next no word about her for over two monthes untill rarity gets commisioned to make a dress by the queen herself. His fear must have been eating at him the whole time. Then after they finaly get word of Twilight no action is taken for weeks untill after a full scale assult is waged agenst Castil Obsidion. Finaly here comes the finishing blow the rescue attempte fails, Twilight is staying by her own request and he doesn't even know WHY she is doing so. I can see why his emotinal state is such a ticking timebomb at the moment. I really do feel bad for the little guy I just hope he doesn't do anything rash. though really Fklutter shy isn't helping matter much.
"Nightmare Moon lifted the Moon Beam off of Twilight"
I don't think the "the" before Moon Beam is necessary there.
I'm also quite surprised by Nightmare's words about the poor. I mean, Twilight is obviously bringing out a softer side of her, but still... She has been murdering, assaulting... It just sorta came out of nowhere for me. She seemed so violent and ruthless in the past, it seems out of character for her to suddenly want to speak up for the poor.
Anyway, this is one of my favourite stories on fimfiction at the moment. Considering the violence in it, that is very surprising for me. I tend to avoid dark and grimdark fics, but I guess it helps here that no canon ponies ( think) have been killed. The one thing that bothers me a little is how easily Twilight has abandoned Celestia. I guess Silent Brook can explain some of that, but then still... Doesn't stop me from getting excited when I see an update though.
Herpa-derp, posted in the wrong chapter.here goes!
I do believe there is a story I need to finish here:
(NOT an excerpt!)
The silver pegasus woke with the end of true night, and adjusted himself slightly against the tree. He had gotten used to the pricks of pain from his wings that came with doing this, but still twitched uncomfortably at the sensation. He sighed, and thought about how long he had been there. It had been a few nights, at least; they probably would have given up on searching for survivors, if they were looking at all.
He looked over at the nearby crater, and smelled the now growing sickly sweet smell of rotting flesh. If hunger didn't kill him, that damn smell sure would. But he couldn't help but to smile; he'd finally done something for his beloved, Commander Cloudy. She'd been on his mind since the first time he laid eyes on her, and after the death of his family, he couldn't stop thinking of the black pegasus.
Still smiling, he began to relax against the tree, and looked up to the stars. It was a beautiful morning, even if he was earthbound, and his hind legs were completely dead. This too had worried him at first, they didn't hurt, but they didn't do anything else, either. Resigned to his fate, he closed his eyes and waited for the end to come.
But the dark thing within him would not be still. AWAKEN, YOU ARE NOT DONE HERE. He shifted slightly, but didn't move any more than that. IF YOU DIE NOW, YOU WILL HAVE FAILED YOUR QUEEN! This was true, he thought. The urge to live flowed into him, but it was weak, an he could already feel the effects wearing off. SO WEAK.
Awaken, for you are not finished here. a new voice piped up. This one was softer then the dark voice, but they seemed... similar. Just as he thought it was a ploy from the dark thing to keep him alive, it spoke again: If you die, you will have failed the commander.
This truly struck home within him. He couldn't die now! He still had to report to her, to show he hadn't deserted her!
And so, he slumped himself forward, twitching as pain wracked his spine from the base of his wings. After the pain abated, he put out one hoof, and pulled himself towards the crater, and was soon beside it. He looked in it, at the pegasus with the crushed skull, and the dried blood that was all inside it, and smiled again. It gave him all the resolve he needed to continue.
With both voices egging him on, Pyretread dragged himself towards the castle.
~
His fate is in your hands now, Peppy! He's been named, so its on you if he dies!
112511 Thank you for hearing me out. also apologies in advance for the overly descriptive message. It's just that this character came to me spontaneously after reading this chapter and only grew as I wrote his story. If you decide to use him I provided a backstory for him that gives him a personality and an explanation for him being the way he is. In my opinion he DESERVED his punishment and worse.
The character is an Earth pony stallion who goes by the name of Soulburn Shadow. His name is inspired by both the old Mare in the Moon legends and a piece of his equipment. He started out pale grey with thin black stripes in his coat with red eyes and a red mane and tail was named Quickhoof Stomper, he was nice enough as a foal but as he grew older he changed. He had a mean streak he inherited from his father who was a tough lean earth pony of average height with a coat the color of desert sand and a black mane and tail, he died sometime after Soulburn turned eight.
He died by the blades of a mixed species gang who killed him and sliced him into fourteen chunks because they wanted his armour, spears, and spear mount. Eventually the pieces where found and the only part the family was allowed to see was the head and part of the neck because of the condition of the corpse. After that Soulburn lost his ability to feel love. He also became inured to horror, lost some of his ability to feel fear ( which was filled in with rage ), stopped crying from emotional pain, and his savagery was consderably escalated. He swiftly developed bloodlust and a a literal taste for blood.
His mother was half zebra/half pegasus and basically looked like a flying zebra and his little brother, while winged, looked more like father with a coat of the same color save on the legs which had black stripes ( he was also smaller and leaner than Soulburn ). He and his brother liked roughhousing with eachother which in combination from combat training from both mother and father made him a strong and skilled combatant, he would often fight all of the neighbourhood colts at once and always won, he and his brother also hunted and captured small swift animals. His mother also taught him to be polite, taught him to read, and infact had him speaking at five months. When his family moved and he was bullied at his new school because of him because of his mannerisms and appearance the constant fighting proved useful. Their were fourteen if them and one of him and the everyone but him was sent to the infirmary and unable to return to school for the remainder of the week, the teachers wished to punish him but he informed them of the fact that he had permission from his mother to do that since they obviously couldn't protect him and they decided against it in shame.
He and his brother where never bullied again, he was ten years old at the time. By the time he was fifteen was staring at the moon at nights and mastered the art of going berserk. He had a nack for fighting and made up and mimicked moves he'd barely seen, he was half mad because he'd had to stop fighting his brother lest he kill him and no one was dumb enough to pick a fight with the tall muscular colt and as a loner by nature this resulted in him being left alone with his thoughts and this lead to planning world domination starting with equestria and him becoming completely desensitized to violence and slowly causing him to lose what little belief he had in mercy. Three months after he turned seventeen he killed his brother because he'd angered him too much, his brother had developed abandonment issues and latched onto his brother as a father figure ( he was however more of a monster than his older brother and had been seeing shadowy things stalking him when he was away from his brother ) and became very clingy always wanting to hang out and play games in addition to other equally annoying habits which enacted over nine and a half years had finally pushed Soulburn over the edge. The very next day he killed his mother with his bare teeth and proceeded to rampage throughout the city killing everything that came in reach foals, colts, fillies, mares, and stallions alike.
The death toll over his three day rampage numbered in the hundreds, the royal guards were set upon him and he killed twelve of them before they brought him down. Despite the injuries delivered to him he survived to see his trial, his punishment was going to be life but since he was still a minor and they didn't want him in equestria they banished him and through him out in dragon territory figuring he could do no harm there. He decided to make a name for himself and since he was too well known and hated as Quickhoof Stomper Annihilator of Forestfree he took on a new name that better matched his plans and nature. He took on many jobs and made a wide circuit around equestria generally doing jobs not fit for whatever and whomever he worked for. Example : a dragon has a problem with some interlopers hiding out in a part of his territory he's too large to dig them out of, he hires Soulburn to go in and massacre them and bring him their heads as proof. Soulburn gets a bonus for every whole corpse he brings him as a snack. Soulburn gets gold coins, a few gems and perhaps a favor or two as payment. As a result of dealing with such clients as dragons, griffon lords, diamond dog chieftains, and zebra warlords and shamans he has become less impressed by dangerous and powerful individuals and stopped bowing and scraping long ago ( the way I see after your fifth or so dragon it becomes far less intimidating or special and as such you don't react as stronlgy as you otherwise would ). He is still polite and well spoken however the closest he comes to a bow is a nod.
Sometime after his twentieth birthday he called in a few favors from an exiled unicorn and a zebra witch doctor and altered his appearance he would slowly become larger until he towered over an alicorn, his coat and irises would darken 'till they turned black as would his mane and tail; thus making him unrecognizable in equestria when he would return as an assasin and conquerer. At the age of twenty-seven he called in several favors and had set of magic armour crafted under his supervision. Zebra alchemy. unicorn magic, griffon metalworking, and dragonfire all came together to craft his unique black armour, and on the helm from where the horn of a unicorn would be to halfway down the snout is a four sided diamond which allows him to utilize and siphon magic. The armour is somewhat thick but that is because it was designed to slowly shift and adapt to his growth, if he reaches full size it will be five centimeters thick and while it covers most of his form it widens to release him when he wills it. Once he puts on his helmet the armour is connected directly to his mind and he has full control over all the qualities of said armor.
His coat is currently dark grey like smoke from a burning building (or forest ), his irises are solid black, his mane and tail are black from the roots to about midway where it transitions to deep red, and his teeth are like those of a predator, despite his growth and regenerative abilities his body is marked with countless scars underneath his armor. In his armor the only constantly visible parts of him are his eyes, mane, and tail and when he speaks his jawplate (which has triangular spikes like teeth) parts to reveal his inner mouth, while menacing his armor is mostly smooth but where it opens to free his mane it has short (relatively) flowing spikes, on the bottoms of his shoes are thick sharp spikes, and white hair thin grooves (remnants of battle damage) crisscross across its surface . He doesn't like foals, the cheerier they are the more they irritate and enrage him, he prides himself as a professional mercenary, bounty hunter, and trainer. He revels in violence, pulls his supply (and trophy carrying ) wagon with him and still stares at the moon on his free nights. While he believes Nightmare Moon to be a glorious champion of darkness (lierally and figuretively) and greatly respects her he treats her the same as all his oher clients.
He recieved his cutie mark on the first day of the Forestfree massacre. His cutie mark is a stick figure of a pony with sharp teeth, massive four-fingered batwings ( the wings are bigger than the stick pony ), and a horn rearing triumphantly over another stick pony with a horn and alicorn sized bird wings and an image of a planet about to be bitten by its jaws. He recently came to Equestria from the Griffon lands for the following reasons: 1. While it took a while for the news to reach him, word that his old hero/crush (from the story) Nightmare Moon was back made him want to go see if this was true(he was previously unaware as to the cause of the long night and didn't care figuring that celestia was throwing a princess level hissy fit) 2. He can't stay anywhere or even purchase supplies because all who see him believe him to be an agent of Nightmare Moon ( and his last job exhausted his food stores) and as a result either hide or drive him away ( the latter is mostly dragons who's territory he accidentally intrudes on and various warlords and nobles with sufficient numbers to drive him off ) and because of this he's been eating nothing but grass with the occaisional small animal ( there wasn't much for to eat so he's been slowly starving to death for over a month and is rather thin and [for him] weak ) 3. If the rumor ( he won't call it otherwise until he sees her himself ) is confirmed as truth he intends to join her army seeing as everyone he's encountered seems to believe that he serves her already 4. He believesthis may be yet another step forward in his quest for immortality and dominance.
112993 Sorry about some of the spelling errors I wrote that in a rush.
t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTKG-FElIEJsG9AV1sj-C43CyaHnGa9YBKNVaA6Wp22LPzjdWzA
Loving new baddass twilight
112759 Tell me how to do it and you're on.
112897 She really doesn't care for the poor but she loathes the way the rich act. She hates to think that people think they're better than her.
112993 Sweet Flaming Nuts of Christ Batman! Look at that text! As far as he goes that's quite a lot of thought into him. I'm not sure, if I do add him he'll end up being pissed at Moon Beam and doing something that will have his life ended at her hooves/claws/talons/things, but he would definitely be a valuable part of her army. There would also be the issue of Twilight being so close to Nightmare Moon. While he is cold-hearted, I doubt he would be immune to jealousy and with Twilight being 24/7 with Nightmare issues would arise. Assuming I'm portraying him correctly, of course. That's what I get from the description there. I think he would be better off in his own fic, honestly.
112959 Hmmm, interesting. Curious who the voices are supposed to be. He doesn't seem like he'd be much use anymore in Nightmare's army considering he can't fly or use his hind legs. Nightmare would congratulate him on his bravery, but end him as he no longer served a purpose. Unless Twilight said not to. Gah I dunno!
112897 I'll go in there and fix it
Sorry had to step out and run some erraned so now back to your regualerly shedualed wall of text.
Fluttershy and the rest while they have good intentions in keeping the real reason for Twilight's switch in loyaty from Spike I can't really see it ending well once he does learn what happened from somewhere else. I'll also bring up that old quote about road hell and intentions but really I don't think I need to say it the thought probily crossed your minds when I said "Good intentions" in the first place. Though really I don't know what will end up hurting Spike more, keeping some rather controvershal information from him, or the dissapointing reality of Fluttershy's promis of Twilight coming back to Ponyvil for him. A lie of omission is one thing but something like Fluttershy's false promes is quite another and I can see it doing a lot of harm in the long run.
I wonder if Rarity's idenitity clicked with Nightmare after she had to remove her, Spike, and the rest from the castil the other day. I bring this up because I recall Nightmare possibly commisioning another outfit for Twilight. I mean talk about a weird situation what happens if Nightmare desides she wants to use the same seemstress for this next project. That has promes to be a very akward fitting session you know. Still props to Nightmare for giving Twilight a more fitting Title and actualy using her name too.
Ah Cloudy, she really is comming into her own here. I can't think of many who would willingly serve a queen that lead her troops into such a nasty meatgrinder of a battlefield. Still between her dedication to the job, hate for Celestia, and her respect for Nightmare and Moon Beam it seems fitting that she would wish to continue in her service to the crown and kingdom. I'll also say I have nothing but respect for someone who is up and about that much after such heavey surgery as she went through I've been under the knife granted it wasn't for that kind of situation but I wasn't functioning anywhere near as well as she is without painkillers.
Bloodblue and Fancy pants, The former is an entitled brat who's good for little more than gossipe rag fuel and the latter is a respected stateman and comunity leader. It's almost funny to have them both not only in the same room this chapter but also get to say thier peice. the contrast they present is rather striking isn't it? As for Nightmare's stance on the poor, well it may be her opion in part but it could also be a way to thumb her nose at the upper crust and maker her seem like a diffrent ruler then her sister. Remebor Nightmare has 1,000 years of negitive image to work around and her claime to the throne isn't the best right now so she may be trying to appeal to the working class while at the same time taking a shot at the brown nosers who were starting to get on her nerves with thier less then covert grabs at favore and status.
On a related note I've heard of two rather good Blueblood fics you guys and gals may wish to read. "Dear idiot" Where celestia speakers her mind about Blueblood via a letter the Night of the Gala and " The Color you Bleed' a fic that puts him through the wringer and makes a decent person out of him, just food for thought.
Well I've run out of steam for real this time so it's time to end this ramble for now.
Wall-O-Text
113170 Yeah, Fluttershy is really digging a deep one. She may be the element of kindness, but honesty is not her forte. Kindness can definitely be the problem and not the solution sometimes as we will see. It did not because Nightmare was too enraged about ponies trying to deprive her of Twilight to take notice. All she saw them as was the Elements of Harmony and paid little attention to their actual looks, so yes, that's going to be fun. (I'd have put something in the chapter if she recognized her) What can I say other than Cloudy is THE boss. She lost her ability to fly, was incapacitated for (insert whatever time I set for her injury here as I cannot remember), and yet she still wishes to assist. While she respects Nightmare Moon and sees her as a ruler she can follow, the real reason she stays is Moon Beam. The filly saved her life and, even though she doesn't like to show it, she now cares for said filly quite a bit. Yeah, I couldn't help it. What better way to represent high society than to put the best and the worst in the same room together and have them both try to appeal to the Queen? I mean, what could go wrong? As far as the poor ponies thing goes, that's exactly why she does it. She has no particular love for the poor as she is a Queen, but she hates the snotty rich ponies It also helps to appeal to the small group of lower class that were present at the time. Great publicity right there! Can't say I've read those, but I might. I just REALLY hate Blueblood.
113252 Hehe. Blueblood is the only speaking character on the show so far that I find to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And he is therefore also the only character I genuinely dislike.
Hey neat I guessed right a few times today! Woo! Now if I only had the FF VI fanfare to play to celibrate! As for the two fics I mentioned I've read the first but not the latter. I recomened the latter as I heard the auher talking about it on a thread at TV Tropes for pony fanfics it sounds really interesting, I think the last chapter was just recently updated and the whole thing clocks in at 15 chapter and might just be novel length in word count just some FYI.
I've replied to your comment in a private message.
113142 Cutie Mark Crusaders in-depth explanation, GO!
I had hoped to get this across here, but our friend Pyretread is pretty darn good at whipping up a bomb or two.
As for the wings/legs deal, the wings are only broken, nothing medicine or magic couldn't heal, and He'll be pretty content to drag himself around until he can either fly full time, or use his wings as his sort of hind legs. would probably be a little less draining than flying full time.
And now of course, the meat of the story, why these "voices" are here. To do this we have to look back (forward? *shrug*) to chapter ???, wherein we have a nice snuggly moment with Nightmare and Twilight, I take a shot of insulin after imagining MoonBeam wearing that bow, and we have Cloudy, who spends her Hearthswarming day.... alone. Guarding the throne room. I have to say, I sadface does not begin to describe what I felt then. of course, I just put this aside, until the comment about "protection for your family if you join the army" and then you go and cause large scale war. (hold on, I'm getting to the point here) So I figured, "hey, why not write about some pony joining the army!"
The idea slowly merged with that of Cloudy being alone and... a sort of plot line was formed! yay!
So I had our friends family/friends/home/town killed/destroyed, so that he would cling to the one pony he still cared for: Cloudy! when she told him her story, and how she used her anger against Celestia to better serve the Queen, his subconscious did the only thing it could, it created "the dark thing" out of all the hate and anger within him, its only purpose to have him serve the Queen better. The bold caps in his journals is this "dark thing" reaching out, guiding him, releasing the pressure of the pent up hate.
The new voice at the end is actually his subconscious, the one that created "the dark thing" so that he wouldn't fail the last thing he loved.
Well, I know all of that last part was hard to pull from the little snippets I put out, but I wasn't trying to pull attention away from your awesome story
Finally: by his life is in your hands, I meant that you could either mention him or not. You shouldn't feel obligated (nor would I want you to be!) to add him to your story, as you've already done something so much better: you got me to Write something. Honestly, this means more (to me, anyway) than you know. So thanks for dreaming up this wonderful tale of yours, and inspiring my little side story!
112535I love this pic, Soul Edge and ponies? so much win.
112302
I brought up her parents mostly because I was thinking of all the stories that have a good opprotunity and reason to at least mention them and do not. (In particular two that have Twilight hospitalized in Canterlot for three days and there is no mention of them even being told about it; it is like they have ceased to exist or something).
113739 Know what ya mean. I'll add them in there, but I don't really have much to go on about them. Main reason i didn't immediately put something in there.
113700 OHHHHHHHHH thats what threw me off. I thought he was a unicorn from the previous mini fics.
Heh This chapter gave me the ide for a Mini fic as well I might start posting it later though I don't know how well it can gell with your larger work so don't expect Hemmingway.
113870 Yeah Peppy it was a Soul Calibur Art I stumbled upon when looking for Nightmare Moon and I thought to myself. "Y'know what Peppy's fic needs? Ponies with Claw Arms that wield big ass Zweihander's with their Magic and punch with their claws"
113142 Thanks for the feedback. And while you partly got him you should understand ( perhaps I didn't explain this in his description ) while he would be a little jealous he does understand the concepts of time and place, superiority, and attraction ( not strictly sexual ) .Also if he's getting paid will suffer even a cheery foal like Moonbeam, remember now he's been a mercenary for a rather long time he has developed that sort of mindset ( he doesn't take bribes or turn on his employers while still working for them, though once the job is done they're fair game to him, he is a professional after all ) . He'll gripe about it under his breath and he'll probably imitate a brick wall whenever she pounces him but at least he won't ( unless she startles him and his reflexes take over ) try to stomp her skull in. Also he'd probably like it if she went monster on him, because then in his mind her purpose here would click into place. Also he's not dumb enough to make a pass at Queen Moon without :
A. years of getting to know her to better identify compatiblity.
And B. A confidence ( especially considering his current state ), size ( his father was larger and taller than his mother and for him it would feel strange to be in a relationship where the female is the same height or taller than him [ not prejudice just remnants of his childhood ] ) , and power ( because he wouldn't want to run the risk [ though with that armor he'd probably think it's a good deal smaller for him than for others though I doubt he could drain an alicorn to death like he did many of his targets unfortunate enough to possess magic ] of ending up as a wet spot on the floor or a statue ) boost.
Once again thank you for your consideraion and I too find people like that annoying, nice Blueblood beatdown so far
Well here goes nothing Feel free to laugh should the mood strike.
Equestria Enquirer Vol 237 Iss 17 08-27-2501 PG 1
Image Color Photograph depicting Nightmare Moon seater on her throne twilight situated to the Queen's right
Headline "Twilight Turncoat?"
By, Green Ink.
Times are shifting rapidly for the grand old nation of Equestria. For the first time in well over a millenia we find ourselves with something we are not used to, something we fear terribly. Though this is a shared fear of every other inteligent being of the world we face change we face the unkown! Our leadership while remaing a monarchy has shifted dramaticaly no longer are we under the warm protective embrace of the sun now we are under the aloof and distant moon. The benevolent and warm Celestia has been displaced now we are being ruled by a being thought to have been naught but an old mare's tale, a legend, a myth I speak of course of Nightmare Moon.
However our dark enigmatic queen is not the focus of this story. No I have my sights set upon the mare seated next to her throne. Twilight Sparkle, though something of a shut in the prized studen of our former ruler was know to make apprences with her mentor from time to time. Mostly at functions that seemed to spark her intrest seminares on magical theory, the openings of observitories, and the dedication cerimonies for historical sights. While it is true that Twilight only recently reached the age or majority it is still quite odd for someone of her status to be such an unknown on both the political and public stage. For years ponies could only guess as to why she was such a recluess now it seems we have our answer.
Yes dear readers you read that right I truely do suspect our little bookworm here of foul play, though i will be fair I'll give her a chance to speak her peice, in do time. For the meantime I intend to conduct an extencive investigation into her background to get be better look inter her life first by interviewing the ponies who knew her best, then by investigating just what happened on that fatefull night nearly Three monthes ago by checking her last known whereibouts the sleepy comunity of Ponyvill Untill then my adoring readers i bid you adu and as always I remind you to leave no stone unturned and ALWAYS read between the LINES!
So what do you think, should I keep going or quite while I'm ahead?
114071 She truly is the coolest pony known to ponydom. I want to marry and have children with the artist of that. Guy/girl I don't even care.
114312 That was amazing. I wonder if you're going to interview post Brook betrayal Twilight or pre and if you do interview post then how far ahead you'll wait for it. Curiousity is piqued.
114078 I will definitely consider it. I definitely won't delve too far into his back story in the story itself, as I REALLY don't want to try and I don't want to copypasta it, if he does get a cameo.
Thanks Peppy, makes me feel good to know that someone liked that considering how I tend to write spur of the moment and all. Oh and should I keep adding all the Volume Issue stuff or should I drop it? I don't recall proper newspaper format I was just working blind with that so it part guess work, and part stuff I pulled out of my plot. Anyhow I'm just having fun with this so feel free to use these little articles should the mood strike and you think it would fit into your story.
I intend to interview post betrayle Twilight though that is ment to be the last installment of this. Heck I'll just give you the list of ponies that Green Ink intents to talk with. Twilight's Parents, Pony Joe, MoonDancer, Prince Blueblood, (Blueblood pretty much backs Ink into a corner and rants at him.) Spike, and Finaly Twilight. The reason I'm not sure if this mini fic will gell with your story is becaus of the last three on that list. Twilight and Spike are undergoing shifts in attitude at the moment and well I just plane have not idea what Nightmare did to Blueblood. Also i should have said this in my last comment but the article is ment to have been published a day maybe two after nightmare has reopened her court after the attack on her castil.
114958 I would love to see more. Honestly, I doubt most people know what the format for newspapers is unless they work for the press anyways. You'll find out what's happening with Blueblood soon so that will be solved.
So, since nothing important was happening at work today(like actual work), I decided to think up something for little Moon Beam to do on her night alone! ~{non-fanon}~
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"Don't forget, you promised!" Moon Beam shouted as she ran off. She immediately decided on her favorite pastime: pouncing on and tickling the various servants and maids around the castle.
(later)
Granite sat and smiled at the small filly as she tickled her co-worker into submission, and thought of how she was such a beam of hope in the dark castle. She helped keep the spirits up so much recently, it was hard to imagine going through this time with out her. Which gave Granite an idea!
She leaned down and tapped Moon Beam on the shoulder and whispered, "you know who really needs some company right now? ex-prince Blueblood! He's going through a hard time right now, I'm sure he would appreciate the company." The filly stopped he assault on the maid and looked up at Granite and said "Oh boy, that sounds great! Where could I find him?"
Granite told her that he would be outside the palace gates, as he had been kicked out. Moon Beam hugged the mare, and shouted her thanks as she ran off. Granite shook her head and chuckled softly as she helped her co-worker up. If anypony could cheer up the unicorn, it would be Moon Beam.
(outside)
Ex-Prince Blueblood was having a horrid night! First, he was stripped of his title and wealth, and then he was humiliated by that purple unicorn the Queen kept as a servant! He looked up at the night sky and wondered how it could possibly get worse, when suddenly he was hit from the side by something small but strong! In a panic, he scrambled away, and turned to face his assailant: a tiny filly that was looking up at him with a playful smile.
"Hi there!" she said. "Do you wanna play? You look a little sad." Blueblood was tired, and he didn't want to have to deal with the filly at the moment. He had much, much more important things to worry about! Moon Beam would not be deterred by him ignoring her, however. So she pestered him more and more and MORE until...
Blueblood lashed out, striking the filly across the face, shouting, "I don't have time for this nonsense! Leave me alone!" He turned around, and looked down at his hoof. It was scuffed! all that time spent polishing it, wasted because some filly! You shouldn't have done that, mister!~ A deep voice said from behind him. "Now I sai-" he started, turning once again to face the filly.
But there was no filly there. in front of him stood a black monstrosity, with razor claws and a gaping maw filled with serrated teeth. One exceptionally long clay was pulled back, almost like a stinger, poised to strike the horrified unicorn. Blueblood barely had time to give a shocked gasp as the claw plunged forward.
(later)
Fancy Pants was searching the castle for Blueblood, as there were still some affairs that needed to be settled with him, when he came across Moon Beam. "hello there, little one! Tell me, have you seen Blueblood around?" Moon Beam replied, "Yes sir! I was told he was sad, so I went to play with him, so he would feel better!~" She looked down with a slightly sad face and said, "He didn't last very long, though..." Fancy Pants understood, he knew Blueblood was not much of one for playing, especially with children, or strangers, or strange children. "Well, if you see him again, please tell him that I am looking for him, ok?" He said, turning away, and missing the mischievous smile on the little fillies face. He didn't make it three steps before something small slammed into him from behind, knocking him down, and shortly felt tiny hooves moving towards his most ticklish spots...
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EDIT: It's looking good, janushyde! I wouldn't give too much thought about the format, so long as you write what you feel is best for the story!
How good is Nightmare Moon at recalling what ponies look like normaly? I'm asking because you have twice mentioned her not reconising the EoH. The first time if I'm recalling right was sevreal chapters back when the throneroom of Nightmare's castil is first described. A stained glass windown depictis Nightmare Moon trimuph over the EoH yet it's noted that the likenesses are not correct to the ponies who confronted her. This is something of a feet as the artisens had acessess to TWO eyewittnesses of the event so they had ponies to consult with on the matter. The other was awhile back on the comments page in responce to my question. Though here the issu is abit diffrent. She knows who came to rescue Twiligh (well save for Spike for all she knows he was just reenforcements.) Yet because of her rage she can't make the connection between the Eliment of generosity and the White unicorn that she had make a dress for her personal servent.
On an unrelated note expect Greens next article either later tonight or sometime tomorrow.
116087 She doesn't pay any attention to ponies that she feels are below her (so everypony), and the depictions for the stained glass were explained not long after she had returned so the elements were still fresh on her mind. She wouldn't be able to pick them out in a crowd (well, she would now), but if she met them again (while less infuriated) she would be able to put the pieces together. The artisans also didn't get Twilight's description as Nightmare, at the time, wouldn't have allowed it.
Thanks for the answers as always. Oh wow sorry Rebel i didn't see your last comment there! Thanks for the review man and by the way, neat little side story.Heh poor Blueblood just wasn't his day was it?
Equestria Enquirer Vol 237 Iss 25 09-03-2501 PG 1
Image Color photograph of Twilight and her Parents seated at a booth Pony Joe stand just to the side of the table smiling brightlighty
Headline Knowing our Enemy
By Green Ink
I know that this seires of articles is taking a while to update my dear readers! Fear not as I have not been silenced by our dark queen yet so i will continue to delve into the background of the intreaging Twilight Sparkle! Over the past few days I was able to sit down and arrange meetings with both her parents and two other sources one being an old friend of mine good ol' Pony Joe the other wishes to remaine unknown at this time. I get the feeling that getting ahold of the mare herself will be the biggest hurtle in my path rest assured thought the TRUTH shall be MINE!
Twilight Sparkle was born to her mother Twilight Velevit and father Nightlight some Twentyone years ago. A born native of Canterlot her parents like many other had high hopes for thier daughter. From what I was able to gather she has always been an avid seeker of knowledge even learning to read sevreal years before her agemates. However it wouldn't be untill the tender age of eight that she would discover her true passion in life. I believe her father said it best. "I've never seen such fasination in someone her age before the day she saw Celestia raise the Sun at that year's celibreation it was uncanny. She became inamered with magic, not a certain feild of magic, not even the vast old magic needed to move the celestia orb across the hevens just magic itself. She dove into dedicated study as soon as she could. Though it wasn't her studying that astounded me so much as how she ent about it. Rather then spending her time engrossing herself in the flashy stylish tricks that tend to lure many into the feild of magic she, went for the theory, the mechanics, the very essence of the subject itself. it was because of this and her tireless efforts that we wenrolled her at Celestia's school for gifted Unicorns." Nightlight
When the day of the test came around Twilight inspite of all her hard work, dedication, and determination NEARLY FAILED! That's right the prized student of our former ruler nearly didn't pass her entrance exame appently she was given a much harder test than most. her task was to hatch a dragon egg. After attempting her hardest she had admitted defeat, apologised for waisted the proctores time and was about to exit the room when apprently some sort of tenicolor explosion shook the area, and startled young Twilight causing her to have a magical misfire of sorts From what I was able to dig up she levitated herself and the protors into the air, hatched the egg, grew the dragon into an adult state and sadly temporairly polymorphed her parents into potted plants. Evidently Celestia saw the dragon emerge from the tower roof and rushed to the scene, calmed down Twilight andsorted everything out. After all as said and done twilight was accepted as Celestia's own pupil. " It was an incredible day for her, not only was she allowed to study magic under the princess herself no less she also discovered her Cuite Mark that day. I don't blaime her for hopping around in circles chanting "yesyesyes' like she did. had it been me I doubt i'd been that restrained at her age." Twilight velevit
From that day forword Twilight dove into her studies with more viger and zeal then ever befor, yet she never forgot her parents visiting them on weekends and holidays, sending letters every week. Though while she didn't neglect her family the same coudln't be said of her fellow students. "She wasn't rude or mean atleast I don't think she ment to come off that way but she never reached out to anypony either." Anonomus
Indeed while Twilight would return any greeting extended to her she never really went beyond that and apprently even though she sharded classrooms with her age mates she apprently wasn't always working on the same lessons they were. " It was always a treat to have twilight set up at my shop. when she got her self situated and got down to work on whatever topic had sparked her intrest one of three things would happen, One i'd learn something new. Two I'd see something amusing, or three both would happen. Twilight tened to draw attention to my store. Even in canterlot it's a rare sight to see s filly reading and comprehending books that ponies well over twice her age struggle with. The locals learned how to brush it off in time but Tourists, oh (laughs) wow the looks on thier faces when they found out that she actualy understood the subjects oh were they ever priceless!" Pony Joe.
However things didn't stay so light hearted forever. While both her parents and Pony joe can confirm that they never lost contact with her it would seem that Twilight was becoming more and more withdrawn from the world at large. " As the years went on she seemed so, cold whenever anyone tried to engage her in conversation she would indulge them some then make an excuess about an upcomming exam or something about an advancing deadline. I never thought she was lying about it though. I mean who knows she did take more classes then almost any other student. Speaking of exams though she tended to become a real wreck around that time of year. Her mane would frizz up, she'd mumble to herself a lot uasly somethig about ticking clocks then practicaly barricade herself in the libairy. I'm not a doctor but that couldn't be healthy I'd always invite her to my birthday party as a way to coax her out of her shell. It didn't really work if she didn't pass on the party entirly she would just bring her work with her." Anonomous
The picture is starting to become clear is it not my dear readers. Here we see a young rising star on her way to greatness living her dream. Yet at the same time we also see the terrible stress she put herself under. While I can't speak for either of our recent rulers I highly doubt that Celestia would push someone THAT hard. Could it be that as the year worn on twilight was starting to buckle under the pressure she placed upon herself? It seems very possible after all when somepony like Celestia offers to take you under her wing the drive to not let them down must be incredible. This bears further investigation me dear readers. However I must bid you all adu once more, don't forget though always seek the TRUTH and never forget to READ between the LINES!
So how does this one look?
Heh, Fancy Pants is made of win. I am hoping he is SMART and doesn't become Mr. Fancy Rebel.
Also, crush Blueblood.
Love chapters like this ! Things are looking up ; Blue Blood has vanished, Court reestablished, WAR SOON (I hope) and Cloudy is leading the army again ! VICTORY !
Constarnit!
We need a Twilight x NMM Cloppy bit >O<
But otherwise, Good read!
I have always hated blueblood. I want to see if his blood is really blue.
Fancy Pants is cool in my books. I like seeing him in this Fic holding nearly the same personality as the show.