Nightmare Moon survives the Elements' power and takes Twilight as her prisoner. Now, the alicorn queen must establish her monarchy and defend her rightful place as queen against those that oppose her.
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There's the stockholm!
NO! The chapter ended!
Peppy updateded? Impossibu! What did you do to our Peppy?!
No, don't think about offing yourself, Twilight! We won't get any more clop if you do that!
Sees update.
Has this reaction:
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I will now proceed to read!
End of chapter? *sigh*
I really have mixed feelings about this one.
Don't like mutinous soldiers, hope they get dealt with. I thought Twi was a better leader than that, honestly. apparently she needs to work on er leadership skills, too.
As for he rest, have to wait for the next month or so to see how things play out.
It's good that this fic is still going on.
My...my feels...
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Twilight, you can't just give up! Sure, your life has had some rough spots ever since you started to serve Nightmare Moon, but the good parts outweigh the bad! You love Nightmare Moon and Moon Beam, you're on friendly terms with Cloudy and Gilda, Spike and Rarity are still with you, and the others will choose to support you if their friendship with you was real! You! Must! Not! Give! Up!
As for those guards, they REALLY need to be taught a lesson! Perhaps it would have been better if it had just been Twilight, Moon Beam, and Tyra...
Here, have some badges!
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I don't get why people continue to claim it's the Stockholm Syndrome. I know evidence points towards it, but I actually don't believe it's that. I really don't.
Missing a "be" in there.
I think you meant to say "her"
A most excellent update. If only it were longer, though. It ended pretty much in the middle of a conversation; something that I am guilty of doing myself, but it still leaves me wanting more. Also, Twilight honey? You need to take charge of those soldiers. You won't garner any respect by foisting your leadership responsibilities off on Tyra. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
Things happened a tad bit faster than I anticipated, but it was nice to see this story is still movin' ^^
2405655 Dafuq. I know I fixed that 'here' thing before I posted it. For srs. I'll get them refixed though.
2405002 Ate him. He was tasty.
2405205 2405372 2405655 There's reasons for stuff. Obviously, I'm not going to put them out there right away. That'd just be rushing! And that's bad. Luckily, though, she still has Tyra to help her out.
2406465 Can't expect war to wait on your whims, now can ya?
2404880 2405484 It was. At the beginning. Not anymore. It's full-blown love now. You can't get therapy for that.
2405287 As if I'd stop short of death
2405655 Could have been longer, but there's a reason to stop in the middle of the conversation. Suspense! Wanting more is the point! Also, it gives the illusion of Rarity trying to figure out what to say
2406752 I do hope those mutinous guards have something nasty happen to them, because all they're doing slowing the party down!
2406826
Come on now, this is Peppy we're talking about! I'm sure their demises will be sufficiently cruel and gruesome to satisfy your average Spanish Inquisitor. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy_invert.png
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Oh god sorry, I couldn't help it. It was too easy!
2407514 'Tis all valid reasoning, but stopping mid-story (not even really mid, plot-wise) doesn't lead to explanations and such
I'll start with the Stockholm and this: It's meant to be a dark story. You don't go reading into a dark story expecting things to be hunky dory and, if you do, you're reading the wrong stories. I don't have a comedy tag, or a sad tag because they are not warranted, nor are they the main focus of the story. Twilight has suffered from Stockholm. That should be obvious. Extremely obvious. You should also not expect a person to recognize their own cognitive distortions. It doesn't happen unless they are pointed out to them. This will, of course, play a major role in the story later on, especially towards the end. Romance for a reason.
Now, let's get with the soldiers. You can teach somebody anything you want, but will they always remember it in their time of need, especially considering that they have had no field practice for it, nor have they been in a situation to need to use it? They were attacked by dragons and their own brethren. No amount of training will prepare them for that. (also, there's more stuff later on that you'll notice falls away training-wise. That'll become important in a few scenes later, too despite how little I talk about it in-story)
Fancy is chancellor because of his personality. Nightmare needs a lapdog to handle affairs of the state, especially since she has other things to worry about (i.e. the griffon uprising). Cherry was given the role of the martyr to introduce a side to another character (and do you really need me to detail how a griffon tore into her to understand that she was wounded enough to die? I can, don't get me wrong, but is it really necessary?) that wouldn't have been made apparent otherwise.
A couple things wrong with that there. Because she ran miles and miles from a town to the castle carrying a filly after having been wounded. And how was she going to take a train, when the griffons had overrun the city? She had barely gotten away from the one that almost tore her and her filly up. Plus, New Mareland doesn't have a station or any sets of tracks from Dodge Junction to get to it.
Assuming Twi's friends aren't brought up ever again is just that: An assumption. She has caused the deaths of thousands. That's the point. You assume everything was perfectly fine with Celestia ruling, because you're going off of the show's canon, not the stories.
Never said he relationship was healthy. Nobody but the two have even said anything good about the relationship.
Yes, it'll get addressed, but I'll tell you this: It's probably not in the confrontation you're thinking of (I'm assuming you mean she's either gonna say 'Omg, I have SS' or somebody is going to bring it up to her).
On one hand I'm happy to finally see an update....on the other hand it made me very sad and kinda peeved.(Mostly because it ended on a tease)
I really am worried about those mutinous soldiers. I hope they don't try to hurt Twilight(But then again due to the nature of ATFN those rouge Lunar soldiers might do something horrible and vile to her like raping her and or brutally sodomizing her out of spite). I guess now I understand what you meant why those soldiers might die. It's also interesting that they referenced Brook's manipulation.
I really feel sad for Twilight. I'm happy that she confessed her pain and sadness to Rarity.(Now she can understand Twi's situation). For some reason it's easy to say that Twilight is pretty much now crazy. She loves Luna but at the same time she wished Luna would release her from her mortal coil.(Maybe as a way to punish herself for letting Brook die(?) and for the trauma she had to go through(Like all the death and suffering she had to witness)).
And for some reason I feel that Twilight liked someone dominating over her(Like Brook and Nightmare). I truly hope Rarity helps her. Twilight needs all the moral support she needs.
Also I'm not sure if it's just me but for some reason I kind of found Brook, Twilight and Nightmare as kindred spirits. (I could be wrong though)
I have my reasons:
1) The 3 of them were almost shunned by society. Twilight because of her relationship with Celestia and Luna, Nightmare Moon because of taking over Equestria, sealing Celestia to who knows where and killing billions of ponies, Brook because of her name and her betrayal. The 3 of them are outcasts. They are Freaks(Kinda like The Penguin from Batman Returns and Catwoman from the same film).
2) They behave very similar. Nightmare Moon dominated Twilight as a way to vent her sexual frustrations and to comfort her(In the story I know she captured her as a trophy(even though I interpreted it more as a carnival prize) while at the same time felt remorse for the torture she had to inflict upon her. Brook dominated Twilight so she could get dirt on Luna, and as a way to feel worthy and important. Yet she(along with Luna in my POV) didn't really knew how to socialize. They believed that if they dominated Twilight that they would get loyalty and love from her. Twilight loved being dominated by both Luna and Brook because she thought that it would make her feel protected, loved and full of purpose.
Then again that's just how I interpret them. I know I may have said this before but I really love how you wrote Twilight and Luna(Along with Brook). You truly made them into beautiful tragic anti-heroes/anti-villains.
As always I can't wait for the next chapter. I just hope that she repairs her friendship with Applejack(or at least understand Twilight's situation).
Wall-O-Text!
An excellent chapter as always. i'm loving how things aren't going as planned. Not only because of the old saying "No plan survives first contact with the enemy.' But also because it shows that Twilight isn't really ready yet to be in the position of leader of pones. She's not ready to stand firm and MAKE the troops shape up. While she's got the right idea of listening for what they had to say she needs to do more.
How would those ponies have acted had she cleared her throat and revealed herself to them? Also there's the detail of the majority of troops intentionally taking longer then they need to get things done. three minutes to pack up a tent for a unicorn and these are trained solders. They likely know that too. Add in they were trained by Cloudy who isn't afraid to get up in their face and make them hop to providing the discipline they need as incentive.
Going one further I'm also glad to see the way the troops are acting. The war isn't going well and they know it. They also know that this mission is something of a long shot as well. Throw in the oh so wonderful reputation that Nightmare moon has made for herself, the rep that Moonie's building through her own actions and Twilight's own position and closeness to a queen that isn't even remotely close to being accepted and it's easy to see why progress is going slow.
Twilight's nervousness about seeing Applejack was good as well. As was her having a wishful moment about how things would have gone had Nightmare moon been defeated. Yet her sticking to the choices she's made despite the pain because of her love for Moonie and for Nightmare is quite touching and fitting for her.
As is her unloading on Rarity. Twilight has really and truly needed someone to vent with for a while. A person who wasn't nightmare in particular. While Nightmare would have heard her out I think what Twilight really needs is a trusted outsider's opinion so she can compare against her own, and the general state of things and come to a decision. This should do some real good for her even if it's going to be tearing open some scabbed over wounds. I also loved the little touch of her weeping at not getting the chance to say goodbye to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Hopefully she'll get to hear from them soon.
Wall-O-Text!
Now how long before Peppy responds to this and shows me how completely off base I am with all my prattling?
2406752
Well... I'm partly right at least xP
2409525 She's never going to be luna. It's NMM for a reason. I never said she was going to be Luna. Don't even know why you got your hopes up for it. Plus, since you're like 12 chapters behind, it should be noted that they are the same pony. I do not follow canon.
Of course, I really don't care, nor do I see how you can see that their relationship is portrayed as healthy. Somehow, I don't think you're reading the same story that I'm writing. Either way, have fun.
2409018 Tis good! There's also another reason why she doesn't do anything with the soldiers
2409929 Huh I was fairly on track with my rambling, sweet! The stopped clock IS right Twice a day!
Hmm . . . I say some stockholm syndrome is still in play here.
It would appear that Twilight's love for Nightmare and the demon child, is the only thing holding her together. Needing to be accepted and such.
Love is a powerful thing, but I haven't fallen for any Evil, sadistically abusive, and possibly psychotic, night bringing goddesses as of late... soooo I cant really comment on whats going on here outside of what I've read.
I'm interested to see where Twilight is going with this... It would be interesting if in the end she turns on Nightmare and frees Celestia. But I would also be 100% against that.
Go evil or, go home kids.
Utturly speechless... And nooooooo i think I know what ur planning peppy. I'll tell u later but first next time u see me on skype I'll have a pic for u :)
Commence read.
Well...Twilight....what will be needed to be done?
Wait, do Nightmare Moon castle is in Canterlot or in other location, because train raid from Canterlot to Ponyvile would take 1 hour, RainbowDash would probably fly there in 10 minutes, and Twilight with her squad travelled there 4 days, or Nightmare Moon castle is in far away location then Canterlot, or Twilight soldiers are the most lazy and incompetent soldiers in history of war.
Also, I wonder do Sweetie belle will invite Scootalo and Applebloom to join playing with Moon Beam, but on the other side, CMC do not exist yet, but from what I remember, Sweetie belle already knew Scootalo before they meet Applebloom, so I think Scoot can join the fun.
As for Twilight, she should visit Applejack and PinkiePie, I am sure Pinkie would like to see Twilight again, and as for AJ, Twilight will need to prove that what she said about being betrayed was honest truth, or else Applejack will refuse to give any food to Twilight squad.
2452614 New Mareland is not Canterlot.
2452652
Well, it has been long time since I read first chapters of the story and I do not remember did Nightmare Moon took over Canterlot as her new castle, or did she build new castle in other location.
But what I ask is, why it took entire 4 days for Twilight to get to Ponyvile, from Canterlot to Ponyvile it is only 1- several hours by train or 1 hour by flying ( 10 minutes if you are RainbowDash ).
2452684 Because New Mareland is not Canterlot.
2406826>>2407136
But will it be Thresh approved? After all, there are few things as invigorating as taking a mind apart, piece by piece.
Gon' add this to my read later. Definitely worth my read.
2521240 I feel ya
2521724
aaaaand i catch up to the story i think it was 10 hours or so mind not functioning well, but one big question.
When are you going to have Twilight realize that she is pregnant?
loving the story
P.S. So many ships in this story (and no i don't mean the airships) possible Fluttershy x Tenderheart, possible Rainbow x Dizzy or Gilda, Moon Beam x Tart, so many ships are you sure you have enough ponies to fully navigate the ships , i feel bad for Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie, they don't seem to have ships wild idea, a Gilda x Captain Hard Ass a.k.a Commander Horizons could be hilarious
2529942 I was actually thinking of shipping Gildy and Cpt. Hardass, but then I remembered that they both couldn't fit in the required packaging. Cloudy is 100% straight after all
2577023 You'll have to be a bit more specific than that . My original intent has always been the relationship between Nightmare and Twilight, and it still is despite the current focus on the war. You do have to remember that the world is much different than what canon is and the cast is not much different than what it would be if I just replaced them all with the main six. I don't do that, because I prefer free range with their personalities and whatnot (something that is not easy to do without having asswipes coming in screaming 'OOC').
Now, if I had a bit more specifics, I could look into possibly rectifying them (assuming I feel that it's something that should be rectified, of course). Should you feel like providing them, then I'm always open for feedback on ways I can change stuff (especially with the "bad 'anime'" feel thing). If not, then nothing can be helped and I will say that I'm sorry you dislike the secondhalf (When it's finished, I'm probably going to separate it into two stories to make it a trilogy. Would have done that originally, but I didn't think about it )
2577500 Basically, he/she thinks it's to long, being more interested in Twilight and how she was dealing with her Stockholm. He/she feels that now that that arc is over, the story has nothing he's interested in... or so I gather.
Anyways, looking forward to the next chapter, and to how Twilight deals with this insubordination. Though I know Twilight would never do it, I believe Moonie would be more than happy to... 'handle' the situation.
2588313 She most certainly would
2600553 Touche
2600461 Makes me want to go play Fire Emblem 1 again. He reminds me of Hector. God I loved Hector.
UPDATE DAMN YE! I DIDN'T SPEND AN ENITRE DAY READING 200,000 WORDS WORTH OF AWESOMESAUCE!! AAAAAAAA-
*smack*
whoo! Thanks subconscience for slapping myself back into sensibleness. Ahem, it'd be nice for an update... Pretty please?
2626274 I'm currently working on the next chapter of UD, and by working, I mean going very slowly. Afterwards I'll be churning out another ATFN. I do apologize for the wait, but work and whatnot comes first
2689330 I shall fix those. It was probably something done by one of my editors thinking they know better than me
2690784 Bah. damn small mistakes. Most of these will be fixed when I rewrite the majority of the story, but I'll hit that one now.
2693767 Fffff.....
2696412 Especially a dildo.
2696449 Like, the breaks?
Um so yeah if Twilight and Nightmare Moon break up. I'm gonna have to say we're breaking up.
If they break up....