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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wow, this chapter was very entertaining. I really loved the backstory of the Engine and Dusk's interaction with RD on the chapter was absolutely adorable. Watching Rarity perform that spell on Dusk was also extremely interesting as we learn more about Dusk's backstory and we get to know more about how unicorn magic pools work. Winter Harvest meeting with the agent at the end was intriguing as she seems to have a connection with RD's mother, so I'm curious to learn more about her. Anyway, thanks for the amazing chapter. It was worth the wait.
7660891
You should reread Blitz and AJ's talk.
You knew this was coming, Psi.
Damn, this was creepy.
7661026 HaHa! Priceless!
7661115 hey there! If your pistubg something that you believe to be a spoiker, please make use of the spoiler tags to avoid ruining storyline events for future readers! The spoiler tag is added through the use of [s ] or by highlighting the relevant text abd clicking the Sp buttion while editibg or writing a message.
Thanks again and read on!
Just ran across this story for the first time, and I've gotta say, really enjoying it! Usually I avoid the Twilight-reinvented-as-a-dude fics cuz frankly they all too often are just fantasy wish-fulfillment clop with a bunch of flat, oversexed ladies fawning stupidly over the main protagonist, but this fic is detailed and well thought out plotwise and overall enjoyable.
I think you've done a great job with the characters, they're all well-rounded and fun. Rarity, Pinkie, and RD really shine for me in this. Seems like you've brought a lot more depth to Rarity than she usually gets to have (and the Sweetie Belle thing was an interesting twist). Pinkie is all too often reduced to just being an irritating stream of hyperactivity and fourth wall breaking but you make her feel like an actual character in this, and she easily holds her own with the more serious members of the cast. RD is a fave of mine but I find a lot of the time authors just write about her boastfulness and make her obnoxious and two dimensional, but you've done a great job of bringing out all the positive aspects of her and she steals the scenes she's in, imo. Her romance with Dusk is probably my favourite so far, I think because of how much time and development it took to get there (though watching Rarity mature in her relationship with Dusk, too, is pretty great).
Looking forward to seeing how Rarity's past plays out, and more of Fluttershy's family. Seems like the relationship with Zephyr is a lot worse than the original show portrayed it. Also hoping for more on RD's school days mostly just cuz I'm not sure I get the her and Gilda thing really... at the start it looked like RD was an equal partner with her who just overlooked or covered for Gilda's transgressions -- but that'd be really odd for RD to just shrug off that kind of thing, especially if it was as bad as has been implied. I mean, this is a character who earned her cutie mark for challenging bullies to a race to protect a weaker pony, after all. But then some other parts seem to suggest that Gilda was at least controlling and emotionally abusive of RD too??? So I'm not sure how I'm meant to be viewing their dynamic exactly.
Anyway, nice job! I'll be following this one :)
7660891
Thanks! This is a ton of ideas I've wanted to express for ages!
More Dash and Dusk to come in the Interlude! And I wanted to turn the Rainbow Factory into something positive but dark unlike a lot of the fannon about the place.
Thanks! It's a struggle to try to introduce ideas and I often worry I end up doing too many all at the same time.
Thanks! Can't wait to see if you pick up the other hints I've dropped into her identity! If not, more will come!
And thank you for always commenting!
7666324
This is both why I started the story, and something I've been trying to goign too far overboard with. I love including romance and sex, but pure clop for clops sake, most of all when it goes overboard into dozens of pages in a row, really bores me as much fun as it might start out as. There will be exceptions to this, but they will be very rare and important chapters haha.
Thanks! I have a ton of things I'm working on, but the truth is that while I got 7/10ths of the major plot worked out, I struggle with smaller details and often end up running off on tangents and end up stuck for days on end over small plot points.
Well thank you so much. Making Dash stand out and not just be tough, and Rarity being more then an oversexed fake rich girl or a self centered designer was very hard to do right.
You don't know how much time I spend aganizing over every decision I make with Pinkie. She is an impossible nightmare to write and trying to express her problems in a realistic, respectful and honest way without being insulting to people who have similar real life mental problems. The fact she has really come into her own is great to hear, and look forward to a lot more growth from her. With her growing relationship with gummy in the interlude, then shortly after a different chapter, following that up with Pinkie's Birthday [Feeling Pinkie Keen], we should she a lot more of her... If writing the rest of her doesn't drive me mad.
I hope so, I'm trying to make the most I can out of a plotline I didn't like but can see a way of recovering... hopefully.
It's a big hard to say for me, but I get what your saying. It was an abusive, heavily one-sided relationship. I will try to work in more flashbacks where I can, and I can promise that there will be more Gilda... someday, when I can squeeze it in. But I'll warn you well in advance, I don't have any future plans for that plot at the moment until season 4. Sorry
Thanks!
7675599
You do realise that Starlight Glimmer is actually older in canon so, your starting of the arc would have to be a flashback to actually make it work if you're gonna follow canon Starlight (or perhaps making her the regent of spacetime)
Reasons (just incase I have to explain)
In canon Twi (or in this case Dusk) is Tia's latest student.
Starburst becomes Tia's student a short time (a few months or a couple of years) before Twi.
I don't mean to be rude, I'm just pointing out some plot holes.
7684159 Hey! First of all, thanks for reading and for your comment! I'm glad you're likening the story and I hope I can keep you hooked!
I'll admit this flat out: I was torn on how to handle the post season 4 storylines and characters, as I started writing this story mid season 3 and until season 4 nothing major had happened that couldn't be easily explained without a major retcon. Now obviously that's gotten harder and harder; abd there is going to be a point were I am forced to ignore/alter/abandon the cobstabt process of upgrading y outlibes to make thibgs fit, but so far, I am comfortable with the wiggle room Ive made.
To be more specific: in this vase I had planned to follow the shows implied timeline, but after a lot of conversations with my editors, I found that their suggestion of a younger pair of unicorns better explained both how Starlight was missed as well as how much of a petulant child she act like when first introduced.
While it doesnt work out as a perfect solution, I feel I can make the best story following this tweek, and hopefully when(if ) we get to those storylines, they will work out as well.
Thabks for the comment and hopefully you'll agree!
7684291
That'll actually work, and I love the story.
This will also be one of the few stories that actually have Starlight in them so, I have high hopes for the next arc. I mean seriously, how powerful is she with her ability to actually go toe to toe and actually beat an alicorn while maintaining both a time spell and levitating herself.
Also, my reasoning for Starlight's mentality would be that she locked herself away after the Sunburst incident and later ran off and started 'Our Town'. The lack of interaction with others would probably have probably delayed her mental growth thus resulting in her behaviour. (This is only being a headcanon of mine for a story idea I have so, ignore it at will.
7688742 It was never 'fixed' but when he oassed out from the pain, Sweetie Belle put the salve on his horn and it helped 'heal' a little, reducing the pain to a dull background ache. It continues to come up occasionally.
So your Canadian eh?
Sry could resist
7720773 haha. It's all good. Even my editors poke at me over that so I specifically spell words like colour properly to big them back.
7720791 your story is fairly interesting Id like to see what lays next
7720791 quick question...
What sentace would you think Morgan Freeman saying would be hilarious to you...
To me, him on helium singing "Go the Fuck to Sleep"
7720845
1: Dusk and Dash shenanigans in Canterlot
2: Mr Freeman? Hmm. Some epic speach about freedom and free will that ends with him getting eaten or killed by Chaos Space Marine or something else totally unexpected.