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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Worth the wait it is man.
Ok, the chapter was intriguing. It was nice to see Pinkie defeat the parasprites and Dusk showcase his leadership skills. Still, this chapter was heavy with intrigue. Lyra, Vinyl, Winter, and Moonlight being possibly behind the parasprites to test Dusk (if Celestia turned out to be responsible for this, then Dusk is going to be pissed), Celestia giving Dusk an invaluable sword forged by an incredibly badass version of Clover the Clever, and then the secret room that scares Silk and Dusk due to the Black Star. The lore behind this story is really entertaining to read. Keep up the good job.
Im betting that Vinyls backup solution to the parasprites, wouldve ended up leaving the chapter called, Close Encounters Of the Furred Kind.
Dissapearing magic puffs? Parasprites were made by soaking Breezies in Mirror Pool water?
Masterfully written and more than satisfying! A statement that could be made for the story as a whole. Currently my favorite fic on the site, darling!
6576436 Well thank you very much!
6576534
One of my major concerns was reducing the BS from the episode about Fluttershy keeping a parasprite and Pinkie not explaining herself properly.
I like intrigue.
I love the concept of a hardcore Clover. I picture her with the sword over one shoulder, and one eye swollen shut.
Mmmmh. I nicknamed that room with my editors the 'Darling Do Artifact Vault'.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I fucking love worldbuilding!
6576657
Racist against non unicorns.
My goal was to setup basic law systems I can refrence later.
Yay grammar errors!
Cause I didn't think of that!
Mmmmhhhhmmmm
Sometimes Pacing is a bitch
6576706
Or Drop the Base.
Color matters!
6577297 Poor Murphy. He really does get a lot of flak when all he was trying to do was warn ponies!
6577898
Thanks! I try my damnedest to make growing relationships a big thing.
Dusk has been hit on by one stallion before. The true fact is that gay stallions exist, but are not common and the world is a little bit homophobic towards gay stallions due to the massive population difference between men and women. I haven't touched on it much but it is a thing.
I'm pushing that episode as far forward as I can, but It will still be s3.
Truth. I have a scene in a recent chapter that is fantastic for her and I can't wait to you get there. It's when she uses her rank to give herself a crowbar to control him.
6578004
Oh my!
6578111
True! But thankfully now that she has reasonable clothing, she'll wear it all the time since she is used to much warmer weather.
She lost her parents years before she got adopted.
When I go over the chapter again I'll try to make that clearer. Yes Derpy and Ame want Dusk to Stud. The Cakes announced their own, yay!
Well it's a world were prostitution and paid breeding is legal, so casual is real.
Fluttershy has her animal friends, and Angel and Harry the Bear, no others haha. Mac? Trust me, things are happening with Mac.
The whole herd doesn't NEED to be tested, but Redheart has extra power per say haha.
I admit I'm 3 eps behind, but I don't see any reason in using names as nicknames or nicknames as names. Depending on how the feel to me! :3
6578221
Dr Hoves and Dr Horse are two separate guys. As for why Hoves is a dr? It will come later!
Because they are about to send him away to a government school while underage and without 'proper' guardianship. So they did a detailed physical to make sure he doesn't have some hidden baggage.
6578448 when you say with a sword over shoulder and a eye swollen shut, you wouldn't be tryin to referring to a favoritable badass, dragonslayer weilding, mechanical arm, manga character would ya?
6579045 No, but if I did it by accident then yay for me!!!
Always worth the wait. Enjoyed just about everything from the chapter. All of the small tweaks to fit everything in just right. Great stuff.
6579431 Thanks! It is always reassuring to hear I got things right!
6579468
I must admit, I love this story and where its going. Everything is presented in an mature and reasoned way. And not the 'Dusk is male, Dusk bangs the world' way that is too common with stories with Dusk as the lead. And the way the story is done leaves you wanting more and looking forward to this story's version of Discord and Alicorn Dusk.
Side note, this version of The Smooze sounds like the MLP version of the Blob, but as dark and deadly as the Blob. Also looking forward to when the 29% thing blows up in a dramatic fashion.
6582726
Freaking priceless, eh?
Nah, but they are greatful for his work, if they didn't find him attractive, they'd probably just ask him to go to a clinic instead.
It's got a lot of reasons, going a lot further into the logic to see what's in my head haha. But much later, it will come back and make so much more sense.
Hehe. It's so cute. And Barb'ed be shocked!
Aww, thanks! I've been wanting to do those kinds of scenes for ages.
Thanks, and thanks again. But things might turn out more complicated then you think.
Nah, it's already march by that scene, well past the start of the new year.
6585821
A: Thank you! B: That was my major goal. C: Yeah, I enjoy sex scenes, but it's sad how different 'realism' makes the same sexy ideas. D: I can't wait to get to that stuff, but i've already hinted at both storylines!
6607494 Thanks for the reply. However, there are a couple things I'm not sure if you ever answered. You say in a couple areas that the cutie mark is on the hip, but in others it's on the neck. Where is the cutie mark on your ponies.
Also, you never clarified exactly what gelding means in this world. Considering it means castration in ours, you can guess my issue.
6616897 Sorry I wasn't clearer, lets try again! :twlightblush:
A: Cutie Marks appear on any number of different locations when a pony finds theirs. Sometimes in rather intimate places, while other times, it can be a cheek, a hip, on the next, what have you. I have listed the location of nearly everypony in the stories cutie marks in Dusk's profiles of the characters, found on my blog page or if you go to my user page you can find a list of all the profiles Dusk has written!
B: Gelding remains the same, a castrated male. Be is for personal, or legal reasons, but the term also covers males who are simply biologically unable to reproduce.
Hopefully that clears things up! Until next time!
6616915 Thanks for that.
Still seems like you need different terms for castration and infertility. The former implies punishment for criminal behavior while the other is more like a birth defect to be ashamed of.
6617006 I get what you're saying, but I suppose its because I'm looking at it from a different point of view. A gelding is a catch all term because of the social sigma attached to both castration and biological lack of reproductive ability in a male. As a man who simply can't reproduce really would be considered by some as 'bad' as a criminal, or perhaps simply trying to hide their criminal past, you know what I mean? It's about how other people see them, and while bias is a bad thing, it exists because of how our brains work.
Wow, sorry, went really deep there for a second. Oh well, hopefully you get what I mean!
6617098 I kind of do, but it still warrants different terms. The shame of a birth defect is different than the shame of a punishment usually reserved for rapists. Also, the infertile can still have sex. In fact, there might be a market for infertile stallion prostitutes for mares who want to ease their heats without getting pregnant.
6617146 Very valid point my friend. I will need to think on a different term. And you are right, I was planing to touch on that topic at a later point, though I was more focused on stallions who took medication to prevent pregnancies haha.
6634890 I can understand the confusion it causes. It's a thing I talked about with a few trans groups and my editors. If it helps any, Lyra is mostly a supporting character and doesn't appear all the rime everywhere. But at the sane time, I enjoy the development that has come to the story and am enjoying the building romance with Bonbon, so I can't say Lyra will make fewer appearances. Sorry.
AJ is respectful while insulting her elders. lol
Her shorts clung to her sex? Are they yoga pants or something? If so, she should really talk to Rarity about creating a new trend.
Loving snarky Angel. Although I am disappointed he didn't lead the critters into battle in Shy's cottage like in the first Dusk Shine.
Also loving Opal. I'm hearing her voice being played by Nowacking. "You have made a powerful enemy this day. Now I'm off to cough hairballs on your bed and lick myself."
Great depiction of Pinkie, especially dawning war paint. She's random, but it makes more sense here than in the show, especially how she initially reveals her knowledge to someone outside the mane six who really wouldn't know how to react. Also good hinting at the kinda/maybe relation between Apples and Pies.
Clever explanation for bug bikini.
Empathized with AJ at Barb's logic of eating the food before the parasprites. This really is a female version of the Spike who ate ice cream with no concern for future-Spike, but she's still different enough to be her own character.
Parasprites made to stop the Smooze? Now that demands an explanation.
It's so refreshing to see that murder is an option.
Appreciate the cleverness of Dusk's spell of just making them satisfied, only for it to backfire and turn them into anime villains, aka strip teases.
Isn't it supposed to be 'Lis'? If so, you do it twice.
Understandable.
This time it's the first one that's spelled correctly.
Damn, that blade sounds impressive. Of course it'll be used on Tirak eventually, but why not now? Why not, say, bring in a firing squad armed with a barn load of poisoned arrows and have them fire at him for an hour or so. Then, after he's been properly stunned, somepony takes the sword and hacks off all limbs that aren't chained up, including the head?
Sorry if I don't remember, but have we met Moonlight Dreamer and Winter Harvest already? If so, when?
You're borderline cruel with all the stuff you're setting up. I approve and look forward to the Black Star's explanation.
There was a typo and a continuity error in this chapter.
The typo was where Fleur de Lis and Fancy Pants had just arrived in Ponyville and she said understable instead of understandable.
The continuity error is in the scene at Zecora's hut where Dusk is talking about his teleportation. There have been two cases in this story where Dusk travels an immense distance via teleportation. The 1st was during the Trixie situation which you mentioned here. The second was in the Bridle Gossip chapters where he teleports with Bronze Feather from Zecora's to the Hospital.
I really like this chapter. I liked it even more the second time around.
All those damn "closet skeletons".
I must admit I liked this much about the swarm of the century. In the end, you gave a plausible logical explanation of how do you presuppose to nourish so much and multiply as much work as possible, those creatures could eliminate Smooze ?. Uh increases logical possibilities I like your creativity Psi Nova .. anyway here as well Dusk as Twilight risked a possible nervous breakdown if I understood well. The translator sometimes makes cabbage translations. But I still do not tell you what and because of the twilight migraine. Is something serious going on? I hope not
The black star ?. Now I am very curious to know more. I'm always more curious to read your story.
I hope to succeed in getting equal.
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