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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hmm... Not a lot of Boast BUSTING in this chapter, but it was still pretty cool.
5684790 Fucking eh. I enjoy busting other things! Like preconceptions!
I got to say that I found the chapter entertaining. Dusk's attempts to solve the situation with Trixie diplomatically were interesting and I liked your interpretation of how things went between Trixie and the Ursa Minor . I'm also beginning to think that Luna is a tease given how she likes to touch and make Silken Flight flustered...and I thought Redheart was a cougar. Anyhow, Shining Armor's role in the story, as an overprotective brother and a guy who can acknowledge whenever he messes a situation up, made him quite interesting. I'm curious as to how he would deal with the consequences of his actions in the following interlude. Also, I'm excited that the new episode would be the one of DragonShy. I'm curious to see about how you will flesh out Shy's background...and maybe discover how she became such close friends with Rarity and how she interacted with Dash on flight school. Anyway, I love this chapter and I hope the see the interlude and the next episode soon.
5684874 Thanks! You can thank Frankie, Shadow and Flamerz for that cameo, I had totally written that part out of the chapter, but as they continued to make suggestions and ideas, I couldn't say no. They simply continued to help me out in so many great small ways!
I'm glad you found my work with deepening Armor enjoyable! I have already worked out the storyline for Shining's interlude, and I hope it hits those same notes!
Hehe... cougar.
I was not expecting that. I sort of figured it would end with the Elements helping Trixie with her problem. Now if I were to guess she is being called to the North by Sombra, who I think is the Wolf you referred to unless you plan to bring in an actual wolf like Fenrir.
5685817 thanks for your interest! Your spot on with a lot of your ideas! Could you please spoiler tag that detail to avoid spoiling things for others?
While Dusk trusts Celestia, I think he can tell her what went on with Trixie and maybe asks why no alternatives were thought of. Given how unwell she was.
5688699 don't worry! I promise to avoid dropping story threads whenever possible! And since your one of my idea guys, kick me if you catch me letting threads drop
I really like your story but i find that Celestia and Luna are way to hard with Dusk. They act like he is a hero in training without even speaking to him. He thinks he is just a sut dent who Touch at magic and a little politic, not the hero stuff!
5689288 Thanks for your feedback, hopefully I will better show why they are testing him and pressuring him to learn so much so quickly in future chapters!
I'm really torn on what to think about Trixie. On one hand, her situation was quite unique, but on the other hand, her absolute bullshit ability feels overpowered as fuck and frankly, I was just happy she finally went away for the time being.
Looking forward to the next "arc", though. It will be interesting to see how Dusk will handle a dragon, though I'm hoping he'll get the chance to show off a little and not end up injured again. He's not been very lucky these past few chapters xD
5690609 actually its not tHAT over powered. She's a Mimic, meaning she can only do so much wiht the skill set she gains from copying. This means she lacks her own abilities in combat and what not, so she's basiclaly defenseless if she has no one to copy from. And even then, it's only temporary if far enough away from a source..
5690609
5691423 Trixie’s talent is bullshit, but that being said it does have rules. But because of how unique it is and how little time Dusk had to study her, i felt leaving it out for now was more appropriate. As shadow said, she is limited to what those she borrows from know and can do, but she is also limited by time. She can only borrow a single pony once ever hour or two for two or three minutes at most. Thus why she had to flee Dusk’s Treehouse, and Dusk himself when he challenged her to a fight. She had exhausted her ability to access everypony in range in both circumstances and was as powerful as a child.
And as a final point, her memory of others minds and power are both also limited. If she hadn’t just borrowed from Dusk and Shining, she would never have been able to teleport, as it's too complex and powerful a spell for any other pony in Ponyville to use.
Thanks for your interest and I hope to keep it exciting and enjoyable!
5692027 Hmmm... Well, that sounds more reasonable. How about her power supply? Are there spells she can't use because they're simply beyond her power?
Skill only takes you so far, and knowing how to do something in perfect intricate detail is meaningless if you don't have the required "muscle" to do it.
Part of why I felt her to be overpowered is because she kept using high-level spells and overpowering others without just dropping in exhaustion. It kind of gave the illusion that she could keep tossing out crap without end. Now I know it isn't that way, but it kinda felt like she could, which gave off some OP vibes, particularly as Trixie was never all that strong or competent.
5692488 my best example to explain power supply is the treehouse scene, where she bends Dusk's shield spell. In the scene she is pushing her ability to borrow out as far as she can and is fighting off insanity by extending her mind into contact with so many others at the same time. She pulls it off, but if Dusk had of chased her then, or if someone else had interfered at the time, she would have been powerless. Overload had caused her a nose bleed and she was on the edge of exhaustion even hours later when Redheart came to treat her wounds from trying to drive off Rainbow Dash and Blitz.
And the Black Lotus scene at the end is there to show how powerful the drug is, not necessarily Trixie herself. I've had extensive talks with my team on the safety and power of the drug to make sure I keep it to a very specific standard. Expect a little more about it in the upcoming interlude.
5692586 Thank you for the thorough explanation. Things make a lot more sense now. :)
5692698 Never a problem! I am always happy to talk things through, it helps me form new ideas for storylines, and it helps me focus my writing to help remove these kinds of issues
Well you've essentially killed off the character I really wanted to see. This was a good story but that's my cue to leave. Good luck with the rest of the story!
5709663 if you mean Trixie, don't worry. She will be back and bigger than ever. But i do understand. Waiting for another 70 chapters for her return is going to frustrate me too.
5710794 as long as she isn't a villain and/or criminally insane when that happens expect me back, and maybe you'll find this is no longer in my "you know what you did" folder.
5710824 Eh, at least it's not the way Trixie was "killed off" in "Oh, NO! Not Another Dusk Shine Story!". That Trixie was given this crazy backstory about death and betrayals of households and the like just so the author didn't have to see this character again. Apparently, SOME people just don't seem to see the brilliance of tin foil, I guess: It's not as epic as aluminum foil, but it still serves a purpose and is regarded as useful... see what I did there? I used metaphors to represent Trixie and Sunset Shimmer... you know, 'cause they're foils of Twilight?
5710934 metaphors do not amuse me. try again but instead make a pun.
5711042 Aww... um... Ah! Trix isn't just for kids, it's for mature adults as well!... Yeah, it's overused, I know.
5711052
-15 hats.
lose a turn.
5711089 Er... hats? I don't get it.
5711094
-5 hats.
you don't need to understand. i made it up.
5711105 ORLY, well, you get -0 hats for being odd. I mean, here I am trying to obliquely sympicathize with this whole "Killing off Trixie" thing (SRSLY, we already went through this shit in Diaries of a Madman, and now we go through it in a GOOD fic!?), and I get critamized for using metaphors instead of puns!? What kinda sense does that make. It's like saying someone's wrong for calling Chrysalis "silly", when we all know that Chrysillys is a very silly changeling!!!
5711141 woah woah woah, are you implying that diaries of a madman isn't good? you sir have just lost yourself 50 hats for such an implication. this doesn't even come close to being as good as diaries of a madman.
But i guess that's just my opinion.
You still lose 50 hats though.
5711162 ... Let's just say... you can get away with not learning lessons about the mistakes you make... you can get away with making Luna unlearned... you can continue to procrastinate and not do things just because you don't put a lot of stake in your own life... you can kill off characters and let other characters who are considered worse live... all of those THINGS that whatmustido did was FINE! But the very INSTANT, that he decided to say "Let's make Anonymous so dumb, he makes Makoto Itou look like fucking EINSTEIN in comparison", by having him destroy any shred of a romantic relationship in a WORSE way that Makoto Itou did (seriously, it's one thing to make out in front of a girl, but it's another to disregard their feelings simultaneously), and leading in with a possible Katsura Kotonoha transformation for Fluttershy, he lost his cred for that epic Sombra-VS-Navarone battle, the trek through the bunker, and everything else that made the story somewhat good! Besides that, Navarone is funny, but other than that, that's all he's got. I cannot say, with absolute certainty, that Diaries of a Madman is a good story. The only thing I CAN say about it, is that it's a story that I track just to see how it ends.
5711231 everyone wants to see how that shit ends. I just want to see how navarone reacts to finding out that he isn't the real navarone even though he may think he is.
5711257 Ah, so you aren't at the current end yet? Should've known, that would explain a lot.
5711257
5711231 I... I like pie. Does that count for anything?
5711292 ... No... It doesn't. Not with everything that's happened. Sorry to say, but even with your love of pie, my thoughts on the matter are not subject to change until the end. Whether he dies/lives learning-he's-a-prick-and-can-change/learning-he's-a-prick-and-does-nothing is all up to the author... in the meantime, I'll enjoy Tales of the Oppressed, because even though there's no clop, the character's development proves that it's better than DoaM!
5711292
5711287 I like pie as well. Apple specifically, i'm not a fan of any other kinds.
And I am at the current end, it took me 3 days to read through the whole thing a few months ago and i've been following it ever since. at this point navarone has just let all of the water elementals aboard his ship.
5711320 yay!
5711328 pie: reuniting authors with their readers since 1953
5711349 haha. And feeding blackmages since final fantasy xi
Nah. The truth is, I know this isn't the best story on fimfiction, but I consider it a huge success, considering its my first attempt at fan fiction in about 10 years. The fact people haven't down vote bombed me for my poor spelling and grammer aside, it’s a bloody pleasure to see peoples reactions, be they positive or negative. Thanks for your time and hopefully when you return things will be at a point that seduces you in again!
5711349 ... Oh, I thought you meant the fact that he's a clone, but you meant the fact that he's Discord's Avatar.
okay im gonna say it hear and now 1. i have never felt this bad for trixie and thats amazing 10/10 for that 2. those princesses are harsh when it comes to test oh lets send gilda oops his horn gets scared oh lets do nothing when he goes up against a misunderstood talented mind reading criminal mage and lastly lets use two DRAGONS as a simple test
5777614
Damn them to Taurus ♉. Life manipulating Princesses. Need another alicorn.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you're real proud of that riddle. Sometimes I just get bit by the creativity bug and it spawns a sequence of words I just HAVE to hold onto all day or else risk losing something awesome. Just a guess, but that's probably how you regard something like that riddle.
Also, I think it says something about how well developed the characters are when I don't want them to go out on adventures. I just want them to stay home and be happy together, rather than getting themselves hurt, because they're such interesting characters that the stories would be good either way. Not that this has anything to do with what you've written, of course Just ramblings that are in no way brought on by my frustration that I can't read this thing fast enough.
I'm really digging the sense of family presented here. In the show the families are all viewed separately, but here there's clearly overlap. Shining interacting with Dash out of mutual concern for a shared loved one is a great example.
So let me see if I got this straight. Trixie ate a super drug, beat the ursa, and just ran away without really resolving anything?
Anyway, you're really building up what I can only assume to be the Crystal Empire. In fact, you're building up a lot of lore here. Can't wait to see how this goes.
5711105 So I was wondering what all this "Homestuck" hullabaloo was all about, so I gave it a shot. In it, one of the characters used a system of "hats" to rate things. Is that where its from?
(Please forgive me if I got that wrong; I'm not very good at this "mainstream/hidden-gem" stuff)
OH! C'MON!
6453726
Thanks for suggesting this story. Without WiFi and only my phones data, I've been going mad. This story is amazing, and takes care of that boredom.