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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I love the chapter. It was interesting to showcase Dash having a phobia of hospitals that's linked due to her mom's death and watching Redheart convince her to act as volunteers. Additionally, the story about Derpy's first relationship was very sweet and adorable. Thanks for the great chapter.
Ah, we get to learn more about the mare we've all been waiting for.
[You mean Trixie?]
No.
[Sunset?]
No, but that'd make for some interesting foreshadowing, wouldn't it?
[Rune?]
OK, first off, he's a stallion, and two, he's from an entirely different fanfiction (Dusk and Rune... READ IT.). No, I'm talking about Bright Eyes.
[...Who?]
Ditzy Doo
[Come again?]
...Best Background Pony.
[Applejack?]
No, that joke doesn't even make sense!
[Well, outside of her business and her family, there's not much to her.]
... There's so much wrong with that, I'm not even... OK, I'm talking about the mare with the weird eyes.
[Trixie again?]
No, why would you say that?
[Because she's an adult mare with one highlight in her eye instead of two.]
... OK, I'm going to be as specific as possible. It is a mare.
[OK]
Who's really popular.
[Yes.]
Who has tons of fans for no real reason.
[Flutter-]
No, that's entirely subjective... she's grey-
[Maud?]
No. she has strabismus, yellow eyes, and has so many fan interpretations that it's not even funny. Now... WHO AM I TALKING ABOUT?!
[... This joke has gone on far enough. Besides, we all know it's Derpy Hooves]
... Yeah, you're right.
Politicians should spend a day a month at GOSH. Any that refuse to consider, well the moon is nice this time of year. Not so much atmosphere though.
Only thing for Bronze Feather.
19.
6062418 GOSH? And yeah, Bronze just needs time, time and Cadence's help.
6062512
Great Ormond Street Hospital for children.
The place which is supposed to get income from all Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, and derivative works.
That last scene was done masterfully, darling! It was just subtle and clever enough that I almost didn't read through the lines at first. Kudos and can't wait for more ~
Well, I came to a decision, and because of a few elements that keep me from enjoying the story properly (namely the grammar, phrasing and the herd idea), I'm rejecting it from submissions. Decision is in the same place as ever.
6085528 thanks for your time, Hap! Hopefully somedy I can improve things and draw your attention again!
6111298 Thanks!
6116788 HA!
6061490 Rune a DUDE??!! Now I'm glad I never bothered to read it.
Dr. Hooves is a real doctor? Might this be a different pony from Dr. Whooves?
The discomfort of seeing sick kids was perfectly represented as uncomfortable, but Dash's anxiety was also nicely realistic.
All this in the aftermath of poison joke, something I was hoping would be funny, but this was all just so grim. Derpy's story was very much needed to lighten the mood.