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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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nice one, Dusk. way to make Dash feel crappy.
This chapter was great. Lyra as a teacher was nice and. I'm surprised at how overprotective AB acts around SB. The bit with. Luna waking up pissed and Silk being thrown out naked to search for a dress to cover Barb was hilarious. I liked Philomena's backstory and I found it enjoyable how you added Time Turner to the story and how Derpy notices something unusual about him. Lastly, that scene with a drunk half-naked Bronze Feather flirting with Dusk made me laugh. I really hope that the next chapter comes soon because I want to see more of Bronze.
6000838 I know, right?? Dusk needs to step up his game and show he is a real friend to her somehow.
6000846 Thanks! Lyra is fun. Bronze is a great tool to work with! And I can't wait to have more fun with TT and Derpy!
6000859 yeah, he's so oblivious sometimes that i want to smack him upside the head. and he's got a huge double standard thing going on. he sucks at keeping his own impulses under control, and yet he's doled out advice on that very subject a few times. AJ being the most prominent.
6000883 VERY well put!
I hope that Bronze Feather joins the harem she's a fun and interesting and I would like to see more of her.
6001041 well thanks for letting me know I've got a few decent OC's kicking around! I'm glad she isnt obnoxious!
So Zecora in the next chapter. I can't wait to see how they first meet her and hopefully two of my questions will be answered.
The first being what Zecora did with the Black Lotus.
The second is, Does Zecora join Dusk's harem?
Also, I hope Bronze Feather does better in her next attempt to seduce Dusk.
6001186 HAHA those are both very loaded questions but I'll try to answer them!
As for Bronze? Don't worry, she'll have her day.
Thanks for the feedback!
... OK.
Let's try, at the present, not to half-ass it.
Followers are picky; they want you to pass it.
Sometimes rhyming can be hard; you could bomb.
That's why I use rhymezone.com
With all kinds of suffering and all kinds of strife,
let's pray that Dusk can be successful at life.
Even if Dusk must take on many a sitch,
hopefully, Sunset won't be such a... meanie.
(Heh, guess where that's from.
It's popular to some.
He Objects! with his index finger, not with his thumb)
6002110
When it comes time to rhyme,
my friend yours feel like a crime.
Maybe in time,
you'll learn how to rhyme.
something something something,
witty comment!
Yeah, I got nothing.
Well let's see, there's a lot of stuff to go over.
First off Lyra seems to be settling in well as a teacher. Apple Bloom protectiveness of Sweetie Bell was a bit curious. I would have figured some relationship based on past chapters, and considering how Applejack and Big Mac treat Sweetie Bell it is not surprising that something would have rubbed off. But I can't tell if Apple Bloom looking to pick a fight with a teacher is just Apple Bloom's usual "amp it to 11" style of doing things or if there is some deeper meaning.
Dusk looking over Dash's paperwork and seeing some discrepancies, plus their general interactions, seems to indicate that pretty soon the two of them will have a confrontation of sorts. Exactly how big of a confrontation I don't know. But this is Rainbow Dash whose primary method of dealing with problems is to run head long into them.
I also noticed mention of Dash not living in a cloud house in this chapter. I can't help but wonder if that will lead to a bit of symbolism where Dash builds and moves into her own cloud house, signifying a transition from her somewhat irresponsible teenage years to fully accepting herself as a responsible adult? Though on the other hand Dash has been making strides in that direction already. She was seen as responsible enough to be the Weather Captain and she is doing well in her role as Scootaloo's big sister. Hmmmm....
Hey, have you ever noticed that a lot of Dash's episodes tend to have a message about being honest about oneself while Applejack has had a lot of episodes focused either on how other ponies depend on her or her own stubbornness to accept help at times?
Now TimeTurner is involved. But are Derpy's eyes seeing something he is trying to keep hidden? Very curious.
And Bronze Feather as a character is nice. I know others have said it before but when a fanfiction author creates an OC that is likable they should be told.
6005508 oh gosh. Thanks man. It's always great to see people picking up on so much. And it's really nice to hear so many like Bronze!
Seriously, thanks for all the support guys!
(showed me her dreams when I tried to to use magic) The first 'to' is unneeded, but the second is just fine. Keep that one.
Nudity is always fun, but you came up with a clever way to keep the tension regarding Philomenia by making the legend uncertain.
"Don't make me make you hurt me." Love Derpy.
Is Luna flirty with how frequently she offers kisses, or is this a reflection of the culture?
It's so cute the way Apple Bloom is looking after her soon-to-be niece.
I'm reminded of a story which said that zebra magic presented itself primarily through potions and mastery of herbs. In that sense, it's a derivative of earth pony magic in their connection to the earth, plants, and animals. Just from seeing them talk about 'the smuggler', I'm guessing she black lotus is an ingredient for a potion or she has a way of filtering it to make it safe.
Being threatened by one lover to have another lover sit in your lap... I think I hate Dusk.
Dusk might feel his title isn't deserved, but he acts more like an authority figure in a single chapter than Twilight has all series.
I'm reminded of Deep Space 9 when Odo brought out a list of all of Warf's failings when the klingon challenged the constable's competence.
Perception filter?