• Member Since 1st Dec, 2011

KiwiFreakinBlitz


The following statement is true; the preceding statement is false.

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Total Words: 15,904,879
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T

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.




Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

Chapters (49)
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Spartans never die, they're just missing in action. This has never been more true for Jorge-052 as, after activating the slipspace drive that was supposed to kill him, he is instead flung into a strange world where war is but a distant memory. Will the aging soldier be able to adapt to this new peaceful planet? Or will his only salvation be found in finding a way back to his own chaotic universe?

(It's my first time, so be gentle)
Now featuring a TVTropes page by Sabo88

Chapters (18)
E

This story is a sequel to Screwball Mio Amoré


Several months ago, a strange little propeller beanie dropped out of the sky and landed in an abandoned field outside Ponyville. The ponies went about their lives, blissfully unaware of what lurked underneath, until today...

Chapters (4)
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Source

This story is a sequel to The Turning of the Screwball - The Strange Case of Button Stitch


Button Stitch has contained the chaotic creature inside her, and is taking her first unsteady steps into the realm of relationships. Davenport, the proprietor of Ponyville's premiere supplier of Quills and Sofas, is the object of her fancy, and he thinks she's pretty neat too. Can romance bloom between the two most aggressively boring ponies in Ponyville?

Of course it doesn't go well. Murphy was a pony.

Continued in Screwball Over

Chapters (5)
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Button Stitch is an excessively regular mare with excessively regular habits, but something strange has begun to happen to her in the wake of Discord's rampage. Can Rarity and the rest of the girls get to the bottom of the strange manifestations of nonsense that have been plaguing Ponyville?

Continued in Screwball Mio Amoré

Chapters (4)
T

On a dark night filled with even darker magics, an insane cult attempts to give Nightmare Moon a body and life of her own, utterly separate from Princess Luna. But, when the spell is interrupted by Celestia, something unexpected is created.

Now, a little black alicorn filly named Nyx finds herself living under the care of Twilight Sparkle, only to be haunted by memories and emotions from her past. Is she Nightmare Moon reborn or is she simply a doppelganger with a soul and mind of her own? Can Twilight Sparkle protect Nyx from those who refuse to see past her dragon eyes and black coat?

Or, will Nyx be forced to inherit the sins that may not even be hers and become the greatest evil Equestria has ever known?

Chapters (22)
E

This story is a sequel to No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria!


After leaving Ponyville, the human TD Harrison Powell finds himself in even stranger territory than the land of the ponies. Will he find his way home? Or will he find out that he should have stayed in Ponyville under the watchful eyes of the Royal Sisters after all?


Edited by the amazing Jack Kellar and Marioland1

Special thanks to MyHobby for the cover art!!

Chapters (28)
T
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Since her return and rescue, Princess Luna has been looking for some way to properly honor the six mares who saved her from herself, but nothing she has been able to think of has seemed meaningful enough to repay her saviors.

Nothing, at least, until she spends Nightmare Night in Ponyville, and gets to actually know the six ponies to whom she owes such a great debt. She realizes she enjoys their company, and wishes for them to spend more time with her, that she might grow closer to them.

So, in accordance with many fine and ancient traditions, and after thinking it over for a good...couple of hours, easy, she proclaims that she shall marry all six of them. Oh, and that Twilight will be marrying Celestia, too.

Now would be the appropriate time for everypony to panic.

--Cover Art Courtesy of Zemious--
--Editing Graciously Provided By BronyWriter--

NB - The sex tag is in place for sexual situations and suggestions; the story is, and shall remain, free of explicit sex.

Chapters (8)
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Rainbow Dash struggles to figure out why Pinkie Pie keeps acting weird, and seems so happy about spending Hearts and Hooves with hanging out with her, while also puzzling over the fact that Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth seem to be going out of their way to help the two of them enjoy the day.

Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth need to have their own tags, because they're awesome characters who deserve to have more stories written about them.

Has a semi-sequel-follow-up-side-story:"The Life and Times of a Winning Pony."

Chapters (2)
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I'd heard about the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from my college roommate who is way too into the show. Disturbingly so, actually, but good gravy I would never watch the darned thing! What am I, five? I've got better things to do with my time than watch a silly little girl's show. However, that didn't stop... something from transporting me into the world of the show, so here I am... in Equestria... trying to get home. This is gonna be interesting.

Special thanks to GuyFace, Jack Kellar, Storm Shaker, Spiffy McSquee, and Goober Trooper for helping me with this one!

Chapters (26)