No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria!

by BronyWriter

Lord I was Born A Ramblin' Man

"So wait, what exactly is your job title again?" asks Apple Bloom.

I finish tying a hook to a piece of string and reach for a large stick before I answer. "Twilight got me a job working for the city. Basically, I'm an all-around worker: it's my job to make sure Ponyville looks nice, while, at the same time, I help out the townsponies that need a hand. For example, if Quills and Sofas is slammed one day, they call me and I help them out until the rush dies down. Stuff like that."

"Gotcha," she says as she watches me begin tying the string to the stick. "So what are ya doin' right now?"

"I am catching food." I finish tying the rope job and proudly present my makeshift fishing pole.

Apple Bloom looks at it, confused. "How are ya supposed to catch fish with that?"

"Well, I'm going to put these worms here on this hook, and then I'm going to put the hook in the water and wait for the fish to go after the worms. When they eat the worms they'll be snagged, and I'll finally have some meat to eat."

As soon as I found out there were fish at the lake we’re in, I ran to get a fishing permit. Finally, after two weeks, something fleshy to munch on! Apple Bloom, being the herbivore her species is, turns a little green at the idea of eating another living thing. I just roll my eyes at her and put a worm on the hook. "I'm not going to eat veggies for the rest of my time here," I say.

"Can't ya try?"

I put the line in the water and lean back on a nearby tree. "No can do. I love meat too much to go full-on vegetarian, plus I need it to balance my diet."

"Are ya sure you know how to catch fish?"

"My dad used to take me fishing all the time," I say with a slight smile. "He was way better than I was at it. It was always him that brought back the real catch: three or four of the biggest fish you could ever lay eyes on. Meanwhile, my older sister and I would be tagging along with pathetic little things that wouldn't make a good meal for any adult human. I remember I caught a bigger one than him once. Man, he was so proud of me that day. He kept talking about it like I had won some kind of grand fishing prize and all. My mom cooked it up for dinner and it fed three of us easily. It was the best tasting fish I've ever had."

I adjust my position on the ground and keep talking. "Once I actually tried to say a 'Hail Mary' before casting out my line in the hopes that I would catch a big fish just like my dad always did."

"Did it work?"

A small smirk creeps up on my face with that question. "That was the one time I caught nothing. I prefer chalking it up to coincidence, though."

The lake is dead silent for a few moments while Apple Bloom and I wait for the fish to bite. I can tell she's getting a bit bored; I personally find the silence relaxing, but it tends to have that effect on some people. "So," I begin, wanting to break the silence for her sake, "how was crusading today?"

"We didn't get our cutie marks," she says sadly. "And Ah really thought today would be the day!"

"When do the kids around here normally get theirs?"

"Most of the fillies and colts at our school already have theirs! It's just me, Scoots, and Sweetie Belle now."

"Must be tough," I sympathize. The filly nods.

After a while, she asks, "Do you have anythin' like that back in your world?"

"Nothing quite like that. Sure, there is some stuff like driver’s licenses, academic degrees, stuff that shows our accomplishments, but something that indicates our special talent? Not a chance. So take solace in the fact that, no matter how late you get yours, you'll still get yours before I do."

Apple Bloom giggles and gives me a playful nudge. "But that's because you can't get one!"

"Exactly! That means you'll definitely get one before me."

"Ah guess…"

"Let me guess," I say as I pull the line in a bit. "You've gotten a metric ton of advice on your cutie mark already."

"Have Ah ever!" she answers with another vigorous nod. "Everypony keeps telling me that it'll come with time and Ah should just be patient."

"I imagine they're right, but hey, what I do I know, I'm just a human from another dimension who won't get one himself."

The pony nods slowly, and the lake is graced with silence once more. "TD," she asks some time later.

"Hmm?"

"Do ya really hate mah sister and her friends?"

I frown slightly and let out a bit more line. "It's... complicated."

"That's what all grownups say!" she groans in frustration.

"Well, yeah," I say. "Well I don't hate them in the full sense of the word, but saying we’re in good terms is a bit of a stretch."

"Even Fluttershy?"

I smirk at this. "Nah, Fluttershy is cool enough. She didn't do anything bad. She's kinda like the kids at your school in that she didn't wrong me, and she actually likes me for me – you know, she cares about what I'm feeling and going through. All that just makes her impossible to dislike on any level."

"But the others, they did bad stuff to ya?"

"Well, let's see.” I stretch a finger. “Pinkie Pie tricked me into watching the Cake twins as part of an elaborate plan to set me on fire.” I stretch another. “Rarity put me under a freezing spell just because we disagreed on my clothing, then she used me as a mannequin.”

The third finger goes up. “Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack figured I’d be a good training dummy just because I threw a half-excuse of a punch at Celestia."

The last part is new to Apple Bloom, and her eyes widen at the info. "So y’all did hit the Princess in the face!"

I nod proudly. "Despite the fallout, I'd probably do it again if I had the chance."

Apple Bloom gasps. "Would ya really?"

Her calling me out on my boast causes me to deflate slightly and I scratch the back of my head a bit and sigh. "No, no I don't actually think that I would. I mean, the three of them would have killed me if Celestia hadn't stepped in. Even if she wasn't the sun goddess, It was still wrong of me to do." I switch arms holding the fishing pole and move the recently freed one to loosen it up a bit. "I still think she's worse than the other five put together, though."

Apple Bloom cocks her head slightly. "Why do ya say that?"

"I just can't shake the feeling that she thinks I’m free to be used like a chess piece. When I first saw her, she said she wanted to figure out how I got here, why, things like that. Plus, I don't think she feels even the remotest bit of sorrow or regret for what she did. She just keeps smiling and assuring everyone that everything is gonna be alright."

"Well, we gotta remember that she's been alive for thousands of years, so she doesn't see the world the same way that we do. And since she has to rule Equestria, she has to think about the effects of events, not just here and now, but also what effect they'll have in the future, and who they will affect."

My mouth drops open and I turn to look at Apple Bloom. Surprisingly, she looks a bit sheepish. "Uh, Twilight told me that once," she deflects.

"Ah," I respond. "That makes sense."

"What do ya mean?"

"That's just something I can imagine Twilight saying is all."

She is about to respond when there’s a tug on my line. I immediately spring into action, pulling the string back as fast as I can. "Hold that thought and throw another shrimp on the barbie, Apple Bloom, I think I got something!" Apple Bloom jumps up and down excitedly next to me, cheering me on. Seconds later, I have my fish.

I pick the flopping animal up and hold it up excitedly almost like I expect my mom to be there to snap a picture and my dad to pat me on the back for a job well done. For a second, I pretend that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

Apple Bloom notices. "What's with the pose there?"

I snap back to reality and put the fish in a nearby cooler. "Never mind me," I mumble.

"Is that all you're gonna get?" she asks. "How long can you survive just eatin' that one fish?"

"Not very long," I say with a chuckle as I sit back down and throw the line again. "I'll have one meal with that fish."

"Just one?"

"We eat a lot."

I lean back against the tree and Apple Bloom sits down next to me. We both share a moment, looking out at the water.

"TD."

"Yeah?"

"Do ya like it here?"

I sigh and put a hand on her head. "I don't know yet."

* * * *

"And would you like a wafer thin mint for dessert, sir?"

"NO! I'm full."

"Very well, sir."

I stand back up – turns out you have to squat down until you’re almost sitting if you want to get at eye level with a sitting pony – and turn back to my current boss. "Is that it for the lunch rush?" The pony in question nods, and I tear off my ill-fitting apron. I’m glad to be free from that particular job. I hate that one the most of all. Seriously, even Ponyville’s “high class” ponies are snobs.

I am about to go back to my house to get some cleaning supplies when I see a familiar purple shape from across the street. She flashes me a big grin when she sees me looking at her, and it doesn't take too long for her to walk over. "Hello, TD," says the happy unicorn.

"’Sup, Twilight," I greet her without as much enthusiasm.

"How has your day been going?" she asks.

I shrug and continue walking to my house. "It goes,” I answer without looking at her. “I just got off of the lunch rush at that restaurant back there. Now I'm gonna go get some stuff to clean the windows of town hall."

"Oh, well, do you mind if I walk with you then? I've been meaning to talk with you for the past few weeks."

I nod and she falls in pace beside me.

"So, how's your arm?" she asks.

"I'll say one thing, magic healing does wonders for me. It's back at 100%."

"Congratulations!" she exclaims. "I expect Pinkie Pie will want to throw a party for that."

"Yeah? Well, have a good one, then.”

Twilight looks up at my face with a frown. "Don't tell me you're still mad at her."

"Okay, I won’t tell, but there’s a little voice whispering in my ear that you're going to come to that conclusion independently."

"Why?" she asks simply, losing her cool.

"She lit me up like a matchstick!"

"She also apologized and bought you a house!" says the exasperated unicorn.

"Yeah, and I admit that did help a lot," I say as the building in question comes into view. It’s a simple house: one story, box shape, dull brown colors, and one tiny window that looks out towards the town. Still, it’s my home, and I kinda like it. "And don't get me wrong, I won't be mad at her forever, at least I don’t think so. But getting over the trauma of being the victim of a pyromaniac is a bit of a hard hurdle to jump over."

"She didn't do it to be cruel, you know. It was just a prank."

I pull the key out of my pocket. "That doesn't make it any less cruel than it was."

I open the door. "You don't have much, do you?" she observes as I stand aside to give her room to pass.

It’s true, I don't have much. A bed a bit too small for my size, a comforter and pillow set that Rarity made for me – I’m proud to say that I paid for it –, a small fridge with a few basics inside, mostly my fish and some fruit, and finally, there’s the small table where my laptop, cellphone, computer bag and scooter reside. "What you see is what you get."

"Are you sure you don't want us to help you furnish the place?" asked Twilight. "I'm sure it's no trouble at-"

"I know it would be no trouble for you," I cut her off, "but it sure is for me. I really don't want to accept more charity than I have to to get on my feet."

"But-"

"Were you in my shoes, would you accept everyone making and buying your stuff for you?"

Twilight is silent for a moment before she shakes her head.

"Precisely.”

She walks over to the table while I open up the closet I keep the cleaning supplies in. "It's too bad your objects broke," she says sadly. "We could have gotten a lot of data about your culture if they were working."

"Eh, they're not broken," I say as I grab some window cleaner. "They're just out of juice."

"Not sure what that means…"

"They have a power source that needs recharging." I grab a rag and sling it over my shoulder.

I stand up to see Twilight staring at my electronics with interest. "What?" I ask.

"They’re electric, right? I think I may have a spell to recharge them."

My eyes widen and I move up next to her. "You do?!"

She nods. I can’t move my computer bag away from the rest fast enough. "Like, in a sort of 'you could get them to work again' kind of way?"

She nods again, cheerfully. "If you want me to try, I can!"

"Heck yeah!" I miss my music and movies!

"Okay then, here it goes!" Her horn fires up with the purple glow that I've come to associate with her magic, and she spends a few moments charging it up before she fires a beam that hits the laptop directly.

The whole machine glows bright purple for a second before the glow fades and I rush up to my precious computer. After checking for possible damage, of which there isn’t any, I flip it open, and to my sheer delight, I see the spell worked like a charm. I instantly become lost in the crystal clear sound that is the opening guitar riff of Smoke on the Water.

All of a sudden, Twilight is hidden from sight by two arms wrapped around her. "Thank you so much, Twilight! Thank you!"

The unicorn smiles at me and looks at my cellphone. "I can try that one, too.”

"Yeah!" I say eagerly. That way I can listen to my music while I work! “Do it!”

Twilight nods and her horn begins powering up once more. I watch expectantly as the beam of magic hits the cellphone, expecting to see it enveloped in a magical glow like my computer was.

Instead, I get a loud *POP*, the kind of noise that an electronic like a cellphone makes when someone tries to charge it at the wrong voltage. Twilight and I can only stare open mouthed at the wreckage that was once my precious cell phone, which now looks like someone put a lit firecracker in it.

Twilight manages to speak up after a few moments of awkward silence. "Maybe if I-"

"No," I say as I hold up my hand to stop her. "It’s too soon."

"Sorry," she mumbles with her head down. I can’t get mad with her, seeing how disheartened she is, but losing my phone is still a big sting.

"... thanks for recharging my computer. You can have the cellphone if you want to study it or something like that."

"Uh..."

I put the cleaning supplies in my computer bag and begin walking out the door. "See ya later."

* * * *

"Dang it, dang, it, dang, it! Of all of the lame brained, miserable things she could’ve done, she had to overload my phone?!"

I squirt copious amounts of cleaner on the window in front of me before I attack it with the rag I have in my hand. I growl in frustration, and the window becomes steadily neater.

"I mean, I know it's not her fault and all since she didn’t know it was a different voltage, but GRAFFRABALFHERIBA!!!"

Yeah, that about sums up my feelings right now.

I remove the rag from the window to see my thoroughly irritated face staring back at me from where I stand.

Have you ever looked into a mirror and used it to reflect about yourself as a person, like you're seeing yourself from a different perspective? Well, that's what I'm doing right now. I stare at this person, who has been sucked into an alternate dimension filled with cartoon talking ponies, who is currently working for the local pony government, washing windows and serving fat ponies wafer thin mints, when the lunch rush is too busy for the normal staff while all powerful sun goddesses plot his fate and her unicorn lapdog makes his stuff into bombs!

Gosh. Freaking. Darn. It.

I climb down from the step ladder I was previously perched on and examine my work. The windows of town hall look much more sparkly than when I arrived. At least I can get some sense of accomplishment from my work.

"Hey, TD," says a young voice from behind me.

I turn around to see Cheerilee and the Crusaders standing behind me, watching me work. "Hey guys," I say as I put my cleaning supplies back in my bag. "How's it hangin'?"

"We were just out crusading for our cutie marks! Ms. Cheerilee was watching us!"

"Cool. Any successes?"

The Crusaders shake their heads.

"No dice, huh?"

"No dice," Sweetie Belle repeats.

"Hey, TD,” Cheerilee pipes in, “while I have you here, would you like to come and guest lecture at school tomorrow? I know the children would just love to have you around again!"

I actually perk up slightly at this. I really did have a good time with the kids the last time around, so why not? "I'd love to."
The Crusaders look up at me with wide grins of their own.

"Ya mean it?" Apple Bloom asks.

"Sure I do. I like you guys."

"Cool!" Scootaloo says. "I can't wait to tell Rainbow Dash!”

"Speaking of which," says yet another familiar voice to my right. I turn to see the mare in question leaning casually against the podium next to town hall.

Scootaloo rushes up to her idol and Rainbow affectionately pats her head. "Rainbow Dash!"

"Hey squirt. I'm just here to tell TD that Twilight wants the six of us and you to meet in the library. She says it's important."

"Oh goody," I grumble as I put my computer bag over my shoulder. "I'm coming."

"Cool, see ya in a few."

With that, she flies up in the air and zooms off.

"Well, I guess I'll see you four tomorrow for school then," I say.

"Very well," says Cheerilee. "I'll see you tomorrow.”

"Bye, TD!" the three fillies say.

"See ya."

I wave goodbye to the only four ponies that I legitimately like in this whole crazy town, then I turn to go towards the abode of one of the ponies that I tolerate at best. It’s a short walk to the library, a matter of minutes.

When I open the door, there are six elated ponies bouncing around happily inside. I admit that I'm a little off put by all of their energy and excitement, something that is unfortunately turned in my direction when I walk in.

Pinkie Pie is the first to approach. "TD, TD, TD, you'll never guess what Princess Celestia just told us!"

"You're right, I can’t guess so you might as well tell me."

"We're going to organize the Grand Galloping Gala!" all six of them say in unison, looking at me with gigantic grins, as if they expect me to understand what that means.

I feel the confused frown on my face, and it causes their smiles to falter ever so slightly. "Uh...cool. What's the Grand Galloping Gala anyway?"

"Oh, it is simply the biggest high society event of the year!" explains Rarity. "Everypony who is important goes to the Gala."

I fail to see the appeal. "So, it's just a giant party for a bunch of snobby rich people?"

“Well, that's what it was last year when we went," Applejack agrees a little reluctantly.

"And why are you so excited this time?"

Rainbow Dash answered that. "Now that we're going to be organizing it, it's going to be a heck of a lot more awesome!"

"I guess.” Time for the million dollar question. “And what does that have to do with me?"

I was dreading the answer even before I say the last word.

"Princess Celestia invited you to go as well!" Twilight fires up her horn and places a large golden ticket in my hand. I look at it and sure enough, it is a ticket to this Gala thing of theirs.

Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be more like that one Hellraiser sequel with Lance Henriksen than Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? If Celestia is going to be there then... wait...Celestia will be there? As in, the one pony who can get me out of here?

“TD?” I look back at Twilight, who is staring at me uneasily. I must have spent some time staring at that ticket, enough to unnerve them at the very least.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

It really didn’t, but maybe I could get at least some answers out of tall-white-and-mighty.

Comments

[bloodwolf432]

I would've said 'Yeah . . . no' and then slam the door in their faces but I guess that wouldn't do very much for the next chapter.

[Sweet Tale]

Wafer thin mint?

Haven't seen that in a long time

[Xpep9000]

The story is coming along great
seems he likes at least some ponies in ponyville
can't wait for the next chapter and the questions needing to be answered
(have nothing else to write so here)
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/h43318__safe_animated_gummy_hypnogummy.gif OBEY!

[Bluebirdd065]

As good of a chapter as all the others, well done, sir!

[labagia]

I loved the first part with Applebloom, very cute and well written. Kudos.

[Traintrax]

Tall-white-and-mighty

I like that. It's catchy.

[warpd]

Phone went boom.

[Brony of the Revolution]

Really nice chapter! ~Cracks whip~ NOW WRITE MORE!!!

[ben717]

My question for YOU would be... Is he gonna meet the Tallish-Dark Blue- and Slightly less mighty but should be MORE mighty in this case? Creature from Alternate Dimension vs. ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE... *raises eybrow*

[Aru]

I'm honesto not sure what is more scary. Wonka Chocolate Factory than Hellraiser...

[BramtheBrony]

One thing I'd recommend is perhaps explaining how TD manages to keep such an excellent restraint on his tongue despite everything; seems most HiE stories are packed with language uttered from the human, this one is different. Not that I mind the lack of language!

[Derpy_Dragon]

Looks like our protagonist will get another opportunity to punch Celestia in the face.
Looking forward to more.

[Fireeaters]

i still think the 6 should have been smacked with a baseball bat for attacking td

[Miki]

1546281
Considering he wants to work with kids for a living, I think that is explanation enough.

Really like the story, and, seriously, throw Twilight a bone and have her fix his cell phone. . At least she is trying to make amends, and honestly, i can see her wanting to fix it in her research. And if he had the cord to sync his music, then its not a total wash if all the data is lost.

[daBomb619]

Hope TD didn't tread in monsieur's bucket...

[DerpedRainbow]

What Twiligjt saw was a slow, sinister grin appear on TD's face. Seriously though, this is just building up for a repeat of the other Gala.

EDIT: wow, one thousand comments. I just noticed, nice job.

[Kirb]

1546355 You're not the only one.

This has to be my favorite HiE Fanfic on FIMFic that is still going on.

[Jack Kellar]

1546057 I writed dat

[Traintrax]

1546655 Good job then. It's both catchy and insulting.A wonderful combination, if I do say so myself.

[Jack Kellar]

1546999 Why, thank you!
Have Fluttershy drinking juice for being so nice:
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/314/0/4/filly_fluttershy_with_juicebox_by_esipode-d4fo1ru.png

[CodeRaptor]

This story... is so....
AWESOME!!!

[YosherStar]

1546281 I'd have to agree with Regi. If you want to actually live for a long time, you don't let stupid shit fly outta your mouth.

[Traintrax]

1547043 Too...much...adorable....hnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg........

*dies from over exposure to pure cuteness*

[Thule]

1546355 Yeah... One does not simply forget that someone actively tried to use lethal force on you and kicked several times in the head while being slammed around like a rag doll on top of being half dead, is what I would say is way past lethal force.
I'm also amazed that TD doesn't at least have a small case of pyrophobia after being set on fire by Pinkie.

[junkers1337]

I sense a shit storm approaching.

[PlaguePaladin]

*breaks the fourth wall*me:TROOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLO LOLOLOLOOL*continues but plays on my recorder*LOOLOLOLOLOL LOLOLOLO LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
td:?
main six:*gasp*
me:shit...
CMC: A NEW HUMAN!!!!!
me:*pulls out nuke sets it offf and travels back to earth and reads the chapter of them bieng nuked*
CMC:?
*bomb blows up*
*back at home*me:HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[valforwing]

fetch a bucket!

[Apocryphal Frost]

1545865

I would have taken the ticket, put my hand up to my chin and examined it, making it look like I was considering it. Then I would slowly back away toward the door, said "Nah." and THEN slammed it in their faces. AND THEN I would show up anyway, as I would have a ticket. Just to mess with them. They...kind of deserve at least that much trolling.

[BronyWriter]

1546985 One might reasonably infer.

[Poets Dream]

Dumb decisions make good stories.

[twad]

Im a tad confused, is he a guest, or is he expected to work on the event too? Either way, it just feel like a bad idea (for him, anyway). Snob festival, hes going to be the focus of all the attention.. and its probably exactly what Celly is planning for...
For better and for worse.

[BronyWriter]

1547831 He's a guest. I doubt even Trollestia would stoop to demean him by making him the help.

[Goober_Trooper]

Hah. Another good chapter! Like everyone else, I eagerly anticipate the next one.
Needless to say, Keep up the good work.

[Shanenator]

Haha, this was good fun. I'm liking this story, particularly how TD is actually getting attached to the CMC. Good contrast. Keep it up!

1546281 I seem to recall him letting loose strings of curses on a few different occasions. The author was simply too courteous/lazy to actually type it out.

[BronyWriter]

1548447 courteous. I don't like sex or profanity in my stories. Violence though...

[Shanenator]

1548455 Well there ya have it folks. I appreciate the gesture, we certainly got the picture just fine as is.

[Fierce Feline]

Yes! A new chapter!

[esopbelac117]

Follow me, just this way, its not far now, just over here, were getting very close now, not much farther, just follow me now.

[the flying spaghetti monster]

TD is miserable. The only happiness he has is from the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Cheerilee, and even that can be considered as forced. Celestia doesn't give a buck about what happens to him or we would have seen more communication. How could she just assume that he'd be fine attending the Grand Galloping Gala?

Heh, he should try his hand at sedition. "Do you guys really need those princesses?"

[Soul Reaper]

you shall continue this. Or else.

e621.net/data/be/e3/bee3856700a8284be1e1dfb1ffa06515.jpg?1349420184

[Hurgusburgus]

GRAFFRABALFHERIBA

I fell off my chair.

[Beats-Box]

One thing, it's tonne not ton when speaking about the metric system.

[Caden]

The way TD keeps whining about Pinkie's practical joke makes me think of him as kind of a sissy. I mean, it wasn't real fire. He was never in any ACTUAL physical danger. He should just get over it already.

That said, I'm really loving this story. You've got very good characterizations. The scene with AppleBloom was cute, and TD, despite (or perhaps due to) is glaring flaws, is something of an interesting character as well.

Please continue! I can't wait to see how our non-brony fares at the school house, and at the Gala. :D

[LegoRail]

The gala should be interesting this time around.

[Ponynator]

Aim precisely TD, aim precisely...

[Linkonpark100]

Love the Hellraiser reference!

[BronyWriter]

1549659 I think what's pissing him off more is the sheer terror she put him through over something so benign. It's the fact that she did it, not the method although that certainly doesn't help, that's pissing him off more. And like he said, he won't be mad at her forever and he isn't as mad at her as he was. He's more irritated at this point.

[Dreamscourge]

I feel that TD may have overreacted about his phone.
I mean, it's been quite a while since he arrived, and I assume the phone and comp have both been dead a while.
So, he went from
"Phone's outta batteries. I'll never be able to use it again." to
"Phone's been blown up. I'll never be able to use it again."
Granted, there was the moment of hope when Twilight restored his laptop's batteries being dashed against the rocks, but come on, TD.
You didn't really lose any chips; you actually came out ahead, if anything.

[Lavitts]

Twilight: TD?
TD: gaijintokamera.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/keikaku.jpg
Yeah, sounds good.

[Violet Runner]

1547471

CMC:?
*bomb blows up*
*back at home*me:HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=