//------------------------------//
// Saddle Arabia 
// Story: Wanderings of a Non-Brony 
// by BronyWriter 
//------------------------------//

Well, needless to say, I was a little irked.

Okay, a lot irked.

Furious, actually.

All five of the griffins at the table and the butler were staring at me in open-mouthed shock. Oswald was still hissing at them, and I felt the overwhelming urge to pick up each one of them one at a time and throw them out the window. Maybe include their bodyguards in there as well.

I began tapping on the table with my knife. Part of me wasn't sure what I was angrier about: the fact that they tried to kill me or the fact that I had missed out on doubtlessly flawless steak. Probably the former, since I could have steak somewhere else. Maybe. Anyway, I slammed my hand on the table, making all of them flinch.

"I'm waiting!"

Emperor Aepnet's own face hardened into a glare, and he stood up from his own seat. "He is right! Which one of you did it?" He leaned in and glared at each of the nobles in turn. "With him out of the way, I would be back at square one with the betrothal of my daughter!"

"While I do not want the future prince dead, you have to admit that he is not worthy to be on the throne!" Zangara snapped.

"Zangara speaks the truth," Fromme growled, standing up from his own seat. "But besides all of that, why do you think that we would dare be so foolish as to stoop to poisoning him?"

Byck, as per usual, scanning everybody around the table. His eyes landed on Kathyrine for a fraction of a second longer than the rest of us. He subtly shook his head before throwing in his two cents. "How do we even know that the poison was intended for the future prince? Was there some order to the plates, or was it random?"

"Byck brings up a fair point!" said Zangara with a nod. He fixed Aepnet with his glare. "Is the rest of the food poisoned? Did you intend to kill all of us?"

"I did not!" Aepnet snapped. He grabbed a piece of steak off of Byck's plate and raised it to his beak. Pretty much everybody in the room, except for Byck because he was just a stoic griffin in general, and me, because I hated everybody at this point, gasped, and William even reached out to stop the emperor. However, Aepnet put the piece of steak in his mouth and swallowed.

The tension in the room was almost palpable as we all waited to see if he would keel over. Most of me was averse to the idea as then things would get even more complicated, but maybe if he kicked the bucket while Kathyrine was still unmarried then I would be allowed to leave since I had no stake in all of this, and the other clan leaders probably didn't care if I left.

However, Aepnet didn't die. He just glared at the rest of us. "I will have the rest of these plates checked for poison. If Duke Byck's plate is the only one who did not have poisoned steak, then he is doubtlessly the culprit."

"And what happens when the rest of them come back negative?" Byck said with the tiniest hint of a smirk. "What will be the results then, as it will be obvious that the prince to be is the target?"

"And how would you know that, unless you were the one behind it?" Aepnet said, turning his glare on Byck.

"Because his was the poisoned steak."

Aepnet opened his mouth to respond, but he must have realized that he was fighting a fool’s battle here. Yeah, it was totally me that they were trying to kill.

So what else is new? The minotaurs, diamond dogs, and dragons did. Sure. Let's throw griffins into the mix. Of course, I wasn't exactly going to ignore it. So, I slammed my knife own right on the table, leaving a small chip in the wood. That got their attention.

"Okay. Here's the deal," I said with as much venom as I could muster, "I never wanted to marry your daughter. I only came through here to try to find some way to get home. It's obvious that you cannot help me. All you want to do is get me caught up in the middle of some political baloney that I truly could not care less about!" I slammed the knife into the table again. "Now here's how this is going to play out: you are going to let me walk out of here. I will leave the griffin empire and go somewhere else. The price you pay for sending anything to follow me, is that I kill it. Once I am done, I will go into hiding, and before you can figure out where I am, I will decapitate the Griffonian government. If I am forced to marry Kathyrine and become emperor when Aepnet dies, I will decapitate it from the throne."

I flicked my knife out right towards Zangara's jugular, coming to a stop mere centimeters away. He flinched back and his guard moved forward. Zangara stopped them with a wave of his claw, and they stood at attention again.

"And I mean that both physically and symbolically." I slammed the knife on the table so hard it stuck in the wood. "Now if any of you rotten birdbrains have anything to say NOW'S THE FRIGGIN' TIME!"

With as loud of a yell as I could muster, I grabbed Byck's plate away from him, set it on the floor, and then upended the table, sending everything flying. Byck and Fromme flew a few inches into the air to avoid being splattered by food, and the guards began advancing again. I took the knife out of the table and, in a move so ballsy that I'm actually surprised that I even considered it, I wrapped my arm around Kathyrine's throat and brought the knife to it.

"If any of you come a step closer I will make sure the emperor doesn't have an heir, I swear."

Now, you may think that I was way overreacting to this, and that I was being really dumb, but you try going through an assassination attempt in a world you're not familiar with for reasons you don't care about then tell me you'd keep a level head. Remember, I killed Purgle for trying to kill me. I was not going to get caught up in all of this crap.

The interesting thing, though, was that I was aware even then that Kathyrine could have thrown me over her shoulder, disarmed me, and skewered me with the knife I was holding with pretty much no effort at all, but she held back. If anything she looked amused by the whole thing. The guards had stopped moving by that point, and it was sort of a stalemate.

Aepnet was the first one to clear his throat after a few tense moments. "Well... I think that it would be best to pardon Prince TD for his lapse in judgment. He has just had a trying time, so I do not blame him for being angry." He cleared his throat and looked at his daughter. "Kathyrine, dear, if you could escort TD to his room, I would appreciate that. I have some things to discuss with the dukes."

Kathyrine nodded, and I released my grip on her. She rubbed her throat a little and beckoned me to follow her. I picked up the plate I knew wasn't poisoned and followed. The second we were out of earshot of the nobles, Kathyrine began chuckling. "You know, if you were actually a griffin then I don't think I'd mind marrying you. You are quite the being, TD. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has ever said that kind of thing to my father before."

I shoved a piece of steak into my mouth and swallowed it before replying. Oh it was heavenly. "Yeah, well, I'm pretty sick and tired of being tossed around and treated like I can't hold my own. I'm freaking done being their puppet."

Kathyrine shrugged. "Eh, maybe you scared Dad into actually doing what you want. I know I'm curious to see what he's going to do with the information that you'll pretty much dissolve our empire if you're forced to marry me."

I finished another piece of steak and fed another one to Oswald before answering. "Yeah, well, he'd better get the freaking hint. If I have to burn the palace down, I'm not going to be his pawn." I scoffed and tossed the now empty plate behind me, relishing in the sound of it shattering. "And that's all I am to him."

"It's all I am to him too," Kathyrine muttered. "He always wanted a son."

"All monarchs do."

Kathyrine and I walked in silence until we reached my room. Neither of us really felt like talking further about what had just happened, so we didn't say anything. I merely opened the door to my room and walked inside. We exchanged final nods and I closed the door behind me.


*  *  *  *


Oswald stood guard for me while I took another nap. Threatening the most powerful griffins in the world after undergoing an assassination attempt kind of wears a guy out. I changed out of my stupid tuxedo and wasted no time in getting to sleep. I was out the second my head hit the pillow.

I woke up some time later to the sound of knocking on my door. I groaned and rubbed some sleep out of my eyes, alerting Oswald to the fact that I was awake. He flitted over to my nightstand and stared at the door, spreading his wings protectively. I smiled at him and got up out of bed as the knocking sound returned.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your horses!"

Man could I never say that in Equestria.

I threw on my clothes and opened the door to my room. A more paranoid part of my brain expected somebody behind there with a crossbow, but it was something just as bad instead. I sighed and rolled my eyes as Emperor Aepnet pushed his way past me into my room.

"You might as well just stop there because I'm not going back on my terms."

Aepnet shook his head and waved his claw. "I'm only half here for that."

He ducked when Oswald came swooping down at him, narrowly avoiding the wing that Oswald intended to use to clip him on the head with. Oswald landed on my shoulder and hissed at Aepnet. Sentiment echoed, Oswald. Sentiment echoed.

Aepnet adjusted his crown and cleared his throat. "I'm aware that you are less than pleased by what has just taken place. I most certainly am too. It pains me that something like that could happen at my table."

"It's your fault I was there in the first place," I snapped. "All you had to do was let me get out of here, and I could be on my way to wherever I was headed next."

Aepnet waved his claw again. "It's unimportant right now. What is important is that I have a proposition for you. Should you choose to accept it, you will be released from the law binding you to my daughter."

I raised my eyebrow and folded my arms. "Really?" I exchanged a glance with Oswald. "Okay, I'm listening."

A small smile crossed Aepnet's face, and he reached out a claw and patted my shoulder. "There's a good lad." I glared at him and he retraced his claw. "Er... yes. My mistake. Anyway, the mission I have assigned for you is a simple one: because this has all just taken place, I cannot trust any of the dukes under me. I now feel that I am in a position where my daughter's life is at stake." Aepnet began pacing back and forth. "Since I do not believe that you would legitimately hurt my daughter, despite your behavior towards her today, I feel that you are amongst the few that I can trust to look out for her."

I snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Have you met your daughter? She could kill everybody at that table in two seconds. She's not exactly a pushover."

"I'd believe that were it not for the incident with the timberwolves." Aepnet stopped pacing and looked me directly in the eye. "Look, I would not ask if this were not such an explosive situation. All I want you to do is take her to Saddle Arabia. They are a good, peaceful people and they are close. She will be safe there. All you have to do is escort her and make sure that she's safe. Once I find out who tried to kill you and punish them accordingly, she may return home and you may leave to wherever you desire."

I frowned and tapped my chin. "No catch?"

Aepnet shook his head. "No catch. Just keep an eye on her, and when this blows over you can leave."

"I see." My glare returned, but it wasn't as sharp this time. "And what assurances do I have that you won't go back on your deal since this is just a private conversation? What assurances do I have that the assassin won't follow us to Saddle Arabia?" My glare hardened. "What assurances do I have that you aren't the one who set the whole thing up?"

Aepnet grimaced and tapped his talon on the ground. "Firstly, I believe you made your position quite clear on the matter of you marrying my daughter. I have come to reconsider my position on the grounds that you would make a terrible emperor and that you'd probably hand Griffonian territories over to the Equestrians just to spite me. Two, it will just be you and Kathyrine. The Saddle Arabian royalty is more than capable of protecting you, and after they hear of this they will up their security."

"And the third issue?"

"The third issue is moot because I already told you that I do not want to be back at square one in terms of marrying my daughter off." Aepnet shook his head and began pacing again. "I know that I already am, but I see no reason to kill you. I would have had even less reason once you became my heir." Aepnet looked to the door and scowled. "No, it is one of the three clans. I am sure of it."

"Could be your butler," I snarked. "It's always the butler."

Aepnet turned back to me, his eyebrow raised. "Indeed?"

I snorted and actually managed a smirk. "It always ends up back to the butler."

"I take it that's some human joke that I wouldn't understand." Aepnet shrugged. "Are you on for the job, then?"

I sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down on it so as to better look Aepnet dead in the eye. "The second she can come home you're letting me leave. End of story. I hate killing, but I've done it and if I think it'll be the best bet for my self-preservation, I'll do it again."

"You have made that quite clear already."

"Good. Then we understand each other."

Aepnet nodded and turned back to the door. "Indeed we do."


*  *  *  *


Well, one thing I can say for Aepnet is that he wastes no time in getting stuff done. That very evening Kathyrine was packed and the two of us were on a train to Saddle Arabia. I had to admit that this wasn't too bad of a setup for me. Not only was I hopefully getting away from a highly dangerous political situation, but I was going to go to another country that might actually help me out in my quest to get home. Win-win for me there unless the assassins followed me, which was potentially likely.

The train ride to Saddle Arabia was about six hours long. Katherine and I used it to talk about some awesome moments we had gone through. She was most interested about the whole 'punching Celestia and getting my spine snapped by Luna' thing. She had said that doing something like that, minus the spine-snapping, was on her bucket list. What a keeper she was.

She, on the other hand, regaled me with tales of battles she had gone through, particularly the ones about where she fought timberwolves. I stopped her there.

"So... if you're so experienced in fighting timberwolves, how exactly did they get the upper hand on you?"

Kathyrine glared at me and tapped her talon on the armrest. "I don't know. I think it was because my friends were inexperienced in the whole 'hunting' business." Her glare faded into a frown. "Come to think of it, though, I think one of them had actually done it before. She seemed to know what she was doing when we went out, so I don't..." Her frown deepened, and she peered out of the window. "You know, I'm not entirely sure what happened. One minute I'm flying into the forest, and then next some weirdo is standing over me drenching me in who knows what."

"Dirty joke opportunity aside, don't you think that's a little odd?" I returned her frown and leaned back in my seat. "I mean, you could kill a pack of timberwolves no problem, right?"

Kathyrine slowly nodded, but her frown never left her face. "Y-yeah... yeah. I guess I was kinda off that day."

Hmm... Something was off that day, but I didn't think it was Kathyrine's fighting abilities, nor her friends. I kept that to myself because I wasn't sure if making her really paranoid was a good idea. I'd definitely be sure to talk to the Saddle Arabians about it, though. They'd probably know more about that kind of thing than I would, and I didn't trust any griffins. I only even half-trusted Kathyrine anyway.

Well, I wasn't left to stew with my thoughts for too much longer. We arrived at the Saddle Arabian train station. Oswald perched on my shoulder, and I carried Kathyrine's bags for her. Reginald was secure in my backpack, as were the heavier parts of my armor. I was only half-decked out in my armor, as it was pretty heavy. I only put it on because it never hurt to be at least a little prepared when somebody was trying to kill you. That's why I had my knife belt on, at any rate.

The door opened, and Kathyrine and I stepped out to the sounds of trumpets and drums signaling our arrival. All around us were the Saddle Arabian citizens, who I was surprised to find were more akin to horses than ponies. They were somewhere between the size of Celestia and an average stallion in Ponyville. Most of them didn't wear clothes, as was usual for beings without magic or opposable thumbs, but the short walk to a carriage that was waiting for us was lined with Saddle Arabian soldiers. They all had tan coats, and were decked out in similar armor. It seemed more lightweight than the Equestrian guard armor. They were all armed with the bladed boots that Soundspeed had with him, and I had no doubt that they could use them if need be. Each of them also had a sharp spear attached to their armor. They weren't messing around with this, were they?

As Kathyrine and I walked towards the carriage, the door to it opened, revealing somebody who appeared to be a Saddle Arabian delegate. He was dressed in plain white robes, likely to counteract the hot and dry desert air that I was struck with when we got out of the train. He smiled at the two of us and sunk into a bow.

"Greetings, Princess Kathyrine and..." He faltered and stood up. "I don't really know about you. I heard that you are betrothed to Princess Kathyrine, but not much more than that."

I chuckled slightly. "That's fine. My name is TD. I'm a human from another world who was brought here by Celestia when she messed up with a spell. I was..." I glanced over at Kathyrine. "Drafted, shall we say, to be Kathyrine's husband when I saved her life. That has since changed."

"I see." He bowed low to me as well. "I am Ambassador Imad; delegate of Sultan Mesud. He wished that I escort you to the palace where he will greet the two of you personally." He straightened up and smiled warmly at us. "I assure you that you two will be most safe here."

"That'll be a change," I muttered.

Imad raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? You have faced many dangers?"

I snorted. "You don't know the half of it."

"I see." Imad shrugged and beckoned us towards the carriage. "You will have to tell me all about it. I know Sultan Mesud will want to know about it as well."

Imad opened up the carriage, and allowed the two of us to step inside before entering himself. I put the bags on the floor and massaged my aching joints. She had packed quite extensively.

Imad closed the door to the carriage, and it began moving towards the palace. Imad continued smiling at us, and he motioned out the window.

"My dear Princess Kathyrine, and TD. Welcome to Saddle Arabia."