MIA

by Gravitys Rainboom

Chapter 13: Welcome to Canterlot Pt. 2

Welcome to Canterlot Pt. 2

In the beginning, there was a mirror.

A coin.

A face.

The sea and the sky. Two boundless oceans, reflections of the other. Two sides of the same coin. Of the same face.

Two vast expanses of nothing. Neither living, nor dead.

Then the sea crashed into an orgy of waves and chaos, and from the foam and salt of that destruction emerged a giant turtle.

Thanatos, the First.

Thanatos, ruled his limitless realm for eons, but as time went on he increasingly looked unto the sky with envy. He wished to cross boundaries of his plain, and explore the reflection. With a mighty push, the ambitious god leapt from one sea and towards the other. But the foolhardy immortal could not swim amongst the clouds, and so he crashed back into his realm, sending a tidal wave of salt and water into the sky.

The water swirled with the clouds, and the salt which had once birthed Thanatos mixed with the pure mist of the heavens. Thanatos gazed in wonder as the two spun in unholy matrimony, twisting and bending until they took the shape of a stallion, and became flesh.

Kairos, the Second; son of Thanatos, the first.

Thanatos and Kairos. Two reflections of the other. Two sides of the same coin. Of the same face.

The two lived side by side in harmony. Kairos galloped across the sky, creating terrible storms and displaying his might, while Thanatos swam in his realm, forging crushing waves to outdo the awesome might of his son. Yet the First watched his seed with envy. The old god resented being looked down on by the youth. Day after day, eon after eon, Thanatos jumped up towards the sky, each time flying higher, but still crashing back into his realm. For centuries the turtle fancied himself a stallion, striving to gallop along with his son amongst the clouds, and for centuries he continued to fall.

Kairos watched his father with curiosity. When Thanatos made a final terrible leap towards the sky, Kairos grabbed a hold of his father, and lifted him to the heavens. But the old god had no power in this kingdom, and when Kairos had not the strength to hold on any longer, Thanatos fell and crashed back into the sea with great force. Deeper and deeper the god sank, until his hard shell struck the bottom of the abyss, cracking the mirror.

From this fissure, rose molten earth.

The seed of the world, giving birth to land.

The earth mixed with the salt of the reflection, and took the shape of a bull. Like with Kairos before, the clay became flesh.

Pateras, the Third. Son of Thanatos, the first. Brother of Kairos, the Second.

And so a third realm was created, and the mirror sullied.

Ages went on, and the three gods ruled their Kingdoms in peace.

The earth, the sea, and the sky.

But Pateras grew bored of his land. With a mighty stomp of his hooves, he created mountains and rivers. Still unsatisfied, he took a boulder of clay, and lit it aflame. From the ashes, he molded trees, and carpeted his realm with the beauty of life.

Thanatos and Kairos watched Pateras, and grew resentful of the beauty of his dominion. Kairos created frightening storms, and Thanatos formed destructive tidal waves. But for all their awesome power, they could not imitate the Third’s artistry.

For eons the First and Second’s spite grew, while the Third continued to shape his canvas. But despite the beauty of his great mountains and rolling forests, Pateras felt unsatisfied still.

Under the cover of darkness, he snuck into his father’s domain, and stole a bowlful of the sea’s salt. He returned to his precious earth, and with his clay, molded creatures in his own image. Then, with the power of the salt, breathed life into them.

Kairos, who watched his brother from above, burned with malice. He galloped down to the sea and woke his father to tell him what had happened.

When Thanatos saw that his son had stolen from his realm, he was filled with unrighteous furry. He claimed that since the salts came from his kingdom only he had the right to create life, and demanded that Pateras destroy his creations. But Pateras loved his children, and refused.

Overcome with anger, Thanatos flooded earth. But Pateras foresaw his father’s bloodlust, and took his children to the highest mountain of his kingdom to save them.

Thanatos ordered his eldest son to create a storm to kill Pateras and his children, and Kairos obeyed. But Pateras hollowed his mountain and hid inside along with his seed. Not even the might of the sky could pierce rock.

Once Kairos’ fury abated, Pateras left the sanctity of his mountain to find his kingdom in ruin and decay; the sea and the sky threatening to swallow his earth.

So the young god and his children warred with Kairos and Thanatos, to save their home.

The First and the Second fought fiercely, but despite their storms and waves, were no match. Pateras’ children were as strong and unrelenting as he. So Kairos galloped to the sea from the heavens, and convinced his father to let him take the salt. Molding darkened clouds into his own children, he sprinkled the salt and birthed the windigos. But despite the cruelty of the creatures blizzards, Pateras’ children held firm.

And so Kairos decided that must create his own soldiers in the image of Pateras’ children. He stole some of his brother’s clay, and tried to mold his own creatures. But the foolhardy god could not manipulate the earth with the grace of his brother, and when he poured the salt on the molds he gave birth to abominations.

Man.

The Second’s deformed soldiers descended upon the earth and destroyed Pateras’ children in droves. Bloodthirsty and demonic, Kairos’ creatures rained decay and terror. Seizing Pateras’ weakness, The Sky God stole more of his brother’s clay, and created more monsters to use as soldiers. Giants, basilisks, ogres, and countless other demons.

Pateras saw that his children were in retreat, and that his realm would be consumed by sky and sea. But the bull was nothing if not clever.

He picked from among his children his most skilled blacksmith, Sidero.

Pateras tasked Sidero to build a cage. One strong enough to hold the typhoons and blizzards of the windigos themselves.

Sidero took on his father’s task, and, bathed in the inky blackness of night, worked at his forge until the cage was complete.

Pateras then invited his father, his brother, and all their soldiers to his home for a feast. He promised them his surrender, and that he would destroy his creations. He then captured a group of men and disguised them as his children. Taking them before his brother and father, he lay waste to them as proof of his submission.

Thanatos and Kairos were jubilant. They agreed and traveled to the Third’s home. For days, the two feasted and celebrated their victory. To honor them as his guests, Pateras offered them wine from the vines he had molded from ash.

With their senses dulled, the Third stood before his father and brother.

‘Father, brother, we welcome you to my home. It fills us with joy to see you feast upon our humble bounty so, for it will be your last. Thy thirst for my wine is only seconded by your thirst for blood. You old gods, looking down at me as an insolent youth. But as insolent and inexperienced this youth may be, your minds must have withered with age, for through your folly have you entered my domain, and through your folly shall you not leave here unscathed.’

The seas rocked and the skies crackled. Thanatos and Kairos were filled with an awesome rage at the youth’s impudence. But the elders’ heads had grown heavy with wine, and before the First or the Second could strike him down, the Third pushed his brother into Sidero’s cage, locking him within. Kairos unleashed his fury on the bars, but the blacksmith’s steel held firm.

With the Second locked, Thanatos and Pateras clashed. The sea roared and the earth cracked beneath them as the two fought. As the dust settled over ruin, the youth stood victorious.

‘Vain god, you who revel in the blood of our children. So be it. Become death, and taste the rot of flesh until the end of days.’ Pateras pushed his father back into the rift from which his precious earth rose. The old god fell through the crack, through the fabric of the world until he was trapped in the darkness of Tartars itself. Then the Third rounded up man and what was left of his brother’s demons, and cast them into the valley of death along with their new king.

Leaving the accursed land of the dead, the bull hefted his brother’s cage to the summit of the mountain that once protected him and his children from his sibling’s wrath.

‘And you brother, who’s storms have wrought nothing but decay, withering life and slating mine earth so that no fertile seed may bloom. You may suffer this desolation on the summit of my home, under the Kingdom which was once yours.’

Trapped in the cage and with no power on the forsaken rock, Kairos lost control of his windigos, his former children. Pateras unleashed their wrath upon him, forsaking the Second to live out the rest of his days trapped under the fury of his offspring; cursed to watch his realm from the chains of earth, ever grasping but never reaching, like his father before.

And so Pateras ruled over his realm and his children, never venturing into the cursed ocean and sky, and instead bringing forth peace and bounty to his seed; leaving his father and brother trapped in their prisons of steel and water.

The mirror had been shattered, and from the shards the bull had constructed a perverse shadow.

Thanatos and Kairos.

Sea and sky.

Death and decay.

Two reflections of the other.

Two sides of the same coin.

Of the same face.”

— Agapios. Birth

---

Jorge gasped and lurched from his bed with frightening speed. His body gleamed with sweat, and his ragged breath scratched his parched throat as his eyes darted around the room frantically.

He gave his face a long slow rub and sighed.

Bloody nightmares…

Everything about his room was eerie. That was to be expected of any castle, regardless of whether it was run by offensively colorful quadrupeds, but that didn’t exactly make it any less spooky. Jorge couldn’t shake off the lingering feeling that something foul would burst from the shadows; or worse, Pinkie Pie would show up.

The room’s decor certainly didn’t help, particularly the large tapestry that hung in front of the bed.

Jorge took a look at the drapery. It looked almost like a Persian carpet hanging over the front entrance. Images of war and bloodshed were woven into the fabric in meticulous detail, not the sort of thing he expected to see in a place as sweet and sugary as Equestria. Amongst the mass of corpses stood legions of Minotaurs, clad in armor that vaguely resembled Greek hoplites. From the carnage rose a giant bronze bull, rays of light piercing through dark and stormy clouds and descending upon it like some divine touch.

Jorge felt uneasy as he stared at the bull, which felt like it stared back. It’s tough eyes gazed down on the human with contempt and rage.

With a self-deprecating scowl, the human tore off his bed sheets and walked towards the mirror. The cold stone floor stung his bare feet.

He looked terrible, like he had aged twenty years overnight. Bags hung under his eyes, and it was evident he hadn’t trimmed his mustache in a long time; too long. His brow bore wrinkles he could have sworn hadn’t existed the day before, and his cheeks sagged with the burden of age.

It looked odd. The notion of a Spartan growing old was a queer one. But Jorge recognized he wasn’t getting any younger, and looking at his reflection was a reminder of that.

Splashing some water on his face, Jorge slowly made his way back to bed. He gave the tapestry another uneasy glance, before crashing back into a fitful sleep.
As he rested, the bronze bull’s furious gaze continued to bore over the human, hard and cold.

---

A yawn drifted lazily across Canterlot Castle’s courtyard. The guards who were patrolling the grounds briefly flicked their eyes towards the source of the noise before returning their attention to their tasks. Guards were becoming a familiar sight for the castle staff; at least, noticeably more so than before.

Just twelve hours before, the courtyard had been crawling with soldiers in the same manner as they were now. Unlike the night before, however, the air around the city felt far less morose. All the tension and foreboding had been scrubbed away, leaving nothing but weariness and cautious optimism.

“Tired, sister?” asked Celestia without taking her eyes off the sky.

“We are not used being awake while your sun is still up,” answered Luna, stifling a yawn.

“I saw you up by day before, please enlighten me as to why you are so fatigued this particular day.”

“Terse, are we sister? Well if you must know, last night’s events weren’t what one would exactly call relaxing.” Luna’s half-hearted glare was interrupted by another yawn. “How is our… delightful guest by the way?”

“Are you referring to the one who nearly ripped my horn off, or the one who placed me in a vile cocoon and threatened to conquer my kingdom?”

“Hmm, we do have a habit of entertaining the most jovial of creatures,” mused Luna. “I am talking about the latter.”

Celestia sighed, and gritted her teeth to avoid succumbing to one of Luna’s contagious yawns. “She is… exhausting.”

Luna laughed, making a nearby group of guards twitch uncomfortably. “How diplomatic of you, Tia. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anypony if you felt obliged to, say, call that bitch a Tartarus-spawned cockroach who wouldn’t know what true love was if a stallion rammed it into her.”

Celestia gritted her teeth even harder to keep herself from snorting. “Such language is unbecoming of a Princess, Luna,” she chided as she her eyes fell upon a young guard who was blushing and gawking at the blue alicorn. “Especially in public.”

“Tia, it is far, far too early for me to be up without displaying some of my charm, and it is especially too early for you to be scolding me about it.”

Celestia opened her mouth to retort, but the deep bass of a horn sounding from the Castle’s walls quieted her. A group of specks, similar to the night before, were quickly making their way towards them. But unlike the night before, this time the Princess felt relief rather than dread.

A flock of griffins landed before the two alicorns. Each was clad in sparkling gold armor encrusted with jewels. Their feathers preened and styled to almost painful extents, and their chests puffed out proudly. The leader clicked his beak, and the feather foot soldiers formed two columns with one powerful march. A second click, and they each pulled out bugles and began playing a loud, royal summons.

The music cued another griffin to land and let loose a long, red, silk carpet to unfurl between the troops, stopping right before touching royal hooves. Two griffin cubs wearing floral laurels and white dresses skipped down the impromptu walkway, adorning it with rose petals before taking flight and showering them onto the courtyard; and all the while the trumpeters kept blowing.

A giant, gold sky chariot pulled by over a dozen soldiers landed in front of the carpet. It’s door swung open, and out stepped a griffin dressed in a white breeches and a comically puffy shirt.

“Attention!” announced the ridiculously garbed griffin. “Veuillez saluer sa majesté royale et chef de Gryph, le Roi Aile Rapid!”

A group of lavishly clad griffins stepped out of the carriage and strode between the corridors of soldiers towards the Princesses, petals swirling around them as they went.

“Glad to see they’re still as flamboyant as I remember,” whispered Luna to her sister.

One of the griffins stepped away from the group and stood before both alicorns. He wasn’t a particularly tall bird; in fact, one could make the argument that he was a tad on the short side. His plumage was grey save for the tips, like every individual feather had been tipped in black ink. His face bore the light wrinkles of a strong griffin who had entered the autumn of his life, and his beak was covered in faint creases that gave the impression that he was perpetually smiling, which only served to accentuate his sleek, black moustache. Despite his age however, he bounded giddily towards the Princesses with an almost childlike enthusiasm.

The griffin waved his burgundy cape and gave Celestia and Luna a colorful bow, his eyes flashing with eagerness.

“Bonjour Celestia! Comment allez-vous?” He snatched her hoof and shook it energetically, frazzling the Princess somewhat.

When she finally managed to pry her hoof from his grip, Celestia smiled and bowed her head. “Je suis très bien, Aile. I trust you had a pleasant trip.”

Aile nodded quickly and smiled boisterously. “Ah yes, I always love carriage rides. They’re a nice rest from the stuffy old castle back in Talos,” he answered in a heavy accent. “May I just say that you look as radiant as ever, ma chère.”

“I’m flattered.”

A light cough turned Aile’s attention to Luna. “Princess Luna! My apologies, I didn’t see you there.”

“All is forgiven. I don’t suppose that’s a problem you encounter very often.”

Aile’s grin widened before laughing exuberantly. “Yes, I suppose you’re correct. I would do away with all this silly pomposity, but my father insisted on tradition.”

“Sorry about your loss, by the way.”

The griffin King waved his claw dismissively. “Don’t be. He was always a bitter bird. I’m sorry to you for how he treated you, it was most unfair. Ah well, at least he died in time to let me come here in his stead.”

Luna smiled gratefully at the King, earning a non-too subtle wink.

Celestia’s eyes flickered over a griffin standing behind Aile, and her face brightened. “Greetings, Ambassador. It is a pleasure to see you again.”

The griffin, a lanky, brown-feathered creature, stepped forward. “The pleasure is all mine, your highness,” he said in an even heavier accent, toying with his spectacles and giving Celestia a grandfatherly smile. The ambassador wore a simple sash, held by buckle with a fleur-de-lis carved in it. A ceremonial sword hung from his hilt. The simple bronze handle was far more humble than the jewel encrusted rapier his royal counterpart bore; but this in no way diminished the elderly diplomat’s elegance.

“Old Jocelyn will be joining me at the meeting!” explained Aile as he grabbed the ambassador and ruffled his feathers. “Won’t you, Jossy?”

Jocelyn groaned. “Yes, your highness.”

“I trust that will not be problematic, Celestia.”

“No more problematic than carrying another chair to the table, your highness. In fact, the other’s requested the same.”

Aile beamed. “Merveilleux! Speaking of the other delegates, we are the last to arrive, yes?”

Celestia motioned the griffin king to follow her. The royal guards, both pony and griffin, snapped to attention and surrounded the royals. The procession made it’s way across the courtyard and into the castle proper, Celestia and Aile at it’s head, followed closely by Luna and Jocelyn, and the King’s entourage taking the tale.

“The Zebras, Saddle Arabians, Crystal Ponies, and Changelings have. The minotaurs however, have yet to arrive.”

“Hmm… yes, very well,” replied Aile, half listening as he looked around the corridor excitedly.

“Your highness, did you hear me?”

“Yes, yes, minotaurs haven’t arrived.”

“Correct, as such you will all have to reside in the castle until they arrive.”

“Very good, very— oooooh!” The griffin king shot away from the procession with alarming speed towards an antique battle-axe that hung from the hall’s wall. “My word, this is outstanding! Is this a Minotaur battle-axe?” The King began swinging it playfully, complete with self-made ‘whooshing’ noises and all.

Celestia cleared her throat, pausing the King from his antics. “Excuse me your highness, may we continue, you appear to be holding up the group.” She gestured to the procession, who were all gawking at him, save for his ambassador, he simply shook his head and sighed.

Aile laughed awkwardly before clearing his throat and straightening himself. “Of course. My apologies, your highness,” he said overly formal before rejoining the group.

As Celestia did her best to hold the childish king’s attention, Luna was doing her best not to pass out from exhaustion.

“How are you, Princess?”

Luna blinked in surprised and saw Jocelyn smiling softly at her, which she quickly reciprocated.

“I am fine, Ambassador. Thank you for you concern.”

Jocelyn chuckled. “It is my job to be concerned, Princess. I am glad. Ancestors knows these are stressful times.”

“Yes, for all of us.”

“Well, some more than others,” he said, giving the Princess a questioning frown. “I’m not the one who has to house a monster under his roof.”

“I assure you, Jocelyn the human is of no danger to you….” So long as you don’t use magic around him.

“That’s not who I’m talking about.”

“Well then, in that case I assure you that the situation with the…” Tartarus-spawned cockroach who wouldn’t know what true love was if a stallion rammed it into her “… changeling is under control. She will not pose a threat to any of the delegates at this meeting.”

Jocelyn laughed quietly. “At my age, chère, you quickly learn to stop caring about that sort of thing. Although, I suppose I don’t need to tell you of all people about age. I was only asking for your sake.”

“I am fine.”

The elderly griffin hummed. “Yes, I see that. That’s one thing you and your sister excel at, seeing the… ah merde, what’s that Equestrian expression again? The big picture, yes that’s it!” Jocelyn paused thoughtfully, staring at the back of his king’s head.

“How is the family, Ambassador?”

Jocelyn smiled contemplatively and looked distantly past Luna. “They are fine, thankfully. Though I will admit that it’s easy to lose track of so many great nieces and nephews. I am happy to say that at least one of my grand-children has diplomatic aspirations.”

Luna quirked an eyebrow. “Raising future dignitaries I see?”

“We’ll see,” offered the griffin, but his eyes seemed to say that nothing would make him happier. “I was actually hoping she’d join me for this meeting, but she insisted rather vehemently that she preferred not to. She instead joined her uncle at the buffalo consulate. Far less exciting, if you ask me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Jocelyn waved his claw airily. “The heart wants what it wants I suppose, and how am I supposed to keep up with such youthful energy? Besides, I already have one child to care for on this trip…” He nudged his head towards Aile and winked, making Luna giggle.

The procession finally arrived to a pair of massive, ornate doors, and passed through into the throne room. The guards hastily dispersed, and Celestia spun around to address her guests.

“Dearest King Aile and dignitaries of Gryph, it brings me great joy to be given the opportunity to host you for this historic meeting. Unfortunately, unforeseen circumstances have delayed the meeting until further notice. My guards shall escort you to your rooms. Feel free to make yourselves at home and to wander the castle as you please. I only ask that you stay off the upper floors. Now, I am sure you are all exhausted after such a lengthy journey. Captain?”

A nearby guard saluted before motioning the griffins to follow him. Aile jumped excitedly.

“Come Jocelyn, there is adventure afoot! Allons-y!” he bellowed before rushing down the corridor.

The elderly griffin groaned and rubbed his face tiredly. “Ancestors have mercy,” he muttered before following his king along with the rest of the griffin’s procession.

“I’ve just ordered Stalwart to increase patrols around the surrounding countryside to see if we can spot the late minotaurs,” said Celestia.

“Very well, sister. Have you made the arrangements for Jorge?”

“Yes, they should be arriving to his room now.”

“He’s not going to be happy about it,” pointed out Luna.

“I know,” sighed her sister. “But given the circumstance, it’s for the best.”

---

Jorge’s eyes snapped open with a snort. Or rather, with a knock. Or, even more rather, with a loud series of knocks that sounded like someone was tried to break down the door to his room. The Spartan groaned and got off his bed. Thankfully, he had been able to go back to sleep without being forced to live another distorted nightmare.

The knocking at his door resumed even louder. Jorge grumbled and wrapped a towel to make himself decent, before opening the door mid-knock. A black pony clad in dark blue armor stumbled forward slightly before jumping back to regain her balance. Jorge’s eyebrows rose in surprise when he got a good look at the creature who had been kind enough to wake him.

It was a pony, at least, he thought it was a pony, unlike any he had seen. She was a small, thin creature. Her mane and tail were midnight blue and short, while her coat was charcoal.

And that’s where the normalcy ended.

Her ears were slightly larger and fluffier than that of normal ponies. Her golden eyes were feline in nature, sharp and uncanny. Small fangs jutted from under her upper lip, and when she gasped he could see most of her teeth were far sharper than that of most equines, Equestrian or otherwise. But probably the most glaring physical oddity was her wings. Tucked in her sides, they were masses of leathery skin that eerily resembled those of a bat.

That’s not even to mention her armor, which looked like a purple version of the gold armor he had seen the other guards where. A blue eye rested on her chest like a sigil, and sharp, metal claws were strapped to her front hooves.

The whole sight would have been unnervingly frightening if it wasn’t for the fact that she was still a pony, and thus, still heart-wrenchingly adorable.

If a blood-sucking vampire, and a bunny rabbit collided with each other at supersonic speeds, and someone threw a bunch of armor on the resulting red goo, it would probably look nothing like the bat-pony-thing staring wide eyed at Jorge, but it would come closer than any other two things colliding with each other.

Jorge was so busy examining the specimen before him he didn’t notice her companion until after he coughed for attention.

“—Ahem— uh…are you mister Jorge?”

The second pony looked like your average, generic royal guard. His coat was pure white, his mane gold and, ironically, tied in a ponytail, his eyes light blue, and his armor gold and sparse. The only noticeable feature was a small sliver knife strapped to his side, but the thing was so stubby the super-soldier doubted it was fit to cut butter, let alone flesh.

The human regarded the stoic guard coldly. “Who wants to know?”

“Cloud Skipper, paladin of her Majesty's elite Eclipse Guard and servant to the throne. This is my partner, Midnight Blossom.”

“Whoa, you’re a big one,” was all ‘Midnight Blossom’ offered.

Cloud Skipper groaned quietly, the kind that said he gave a lot of those kinds of groans a day. “Are you Jorge the human or not?”

“No, I’m the other human. Jorge is five doors down on your right,” deadpanned Jorge, pointing down the hall.

Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom turned their heads to where Jorge was indicating, before the stallion snorted and looked annoyed. “We have been ordered to escort you during your stay here.”

“Thank you, but your services aren’t required, soldier.”

Before the guard could get another word in, Jorge shut the door. No sooner had he returned to his bed that the two ponies knocked again.

Should have seen that coming. Well, it was worth a shot.

“Go away. I don’t need a bloody escort.”

“Room service,” came a female voice.

That gave Jorge pause. “Pardon?”

“Room service,” repeated the bat-pony.

“And what happened to those to guards who were standing outside just a second ago?”

“They went looking for Jorge five doors down on our right.”

The Spartan sighed. Doors are useless against these damn ponies. Opening the door again, he looked down to see the bat-pony giving him a smug grin.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Jorge groaned. “What is it you want with me?”

“Like Cloud said, we’re here to babysit you for the day.”

“I thought the word was ‘escort?’” growled Jorge.

The mare shrugged. “Same difference.”

“And who put you up to this exactly?”

“Orders came from Princesses Celestia and Cadence,” answered the stallion. “Something about making sure you don’t get lost in the castle again?”

Smart-asses…

“Well unless you two want to watch me lounge around my room until the meeting starts, then I’d suggest you two find something more productive to do.”

“The meeting has been postponed until further notice due to unforeseen complications.”

Jorge cringed internally. Of course it has. The human looked down at the ponies in front of him. The bat-thing looked at him curiously, trying to take in every detail of his alien form. The stallion on the other hand held a stony gaze, and analyzed the human with a far more critical and calculating eye than his companion.

“So how does this whole ‘escort’ slash ‘babysit’ thing work?” he asked, gesticulating at the two with one of his fingers.

“The Princesses have made it clear that you are permitted to travel through the castle grounds as you please, and that we are supposed to offer any assistance you may require,” answered the gold guard mechanically, prompting an eye-roll from his companion.

“Like I said, ‘baby-sitters.’”

Jorge examined the two; both were looking at him expectantly. Alright Jorge, you have a few hours to kill, and a new pair of ‘friends’ to do it with. He looked back into his room. The bed was a mess, but otherwise it was fairly untouched save for his armor lying carefully in a corner. A gurgling in his belly drew his attention away from his dwelling, and he suddenly knew what he wanted to do.

“Do either of you know where I can get some food?”

The stallion frowned. “The kitchens are closed at this hour, I’m afraid you're going to have to wait.”

“They should be serving some grub in the barracks right about now though,” said the mare.

The sun guard’s stony façade cracked and he glared at his partner. “I don’t think such a setting would be appropriate for a dignitary such as yourself—”

“It’s fine,” interrupted Jorge. “I’ll be back in twenty.” Without another word, he shut the door again, and started the arduous process of putting his armor on.

Eighteen minutes later he was fully dressed. He briefly examined himself in the mirror to be sure that everything was in place. Outside of steel corridors of a UNSC vessel and in the lavish bedroom of a home to royalty, Jorge noticed just how weathered the MJOLNIR was. There wasn’t an inch of the plated steel that wasn’t scratched or scarred in some way. A jagged line ran down from his collar to his chest, the place of a nearly fatal run with a sangheili energy sword a few years back. Faded plasma burns spotted the washed-out orange.

No wonder they’re so damned terrified when they see me.

Jorge shifted a bit. The metal suit felt heavy. It felt bulky. It felt uncomfortable and tight.

It felt like home.

Satisfied that everything was in order, he slipped his helmet on and stepped out into the hallway.

Both guards appeared to be in the middle of a quiet argument when he appeared, but they were immediately rendered mute and slack-jawed when they noticed the human.

“Lead the way,” said Jorge, gesturing down the hall. It was enough to snap both of them out of their stupor. They glanced at each other, before heading down the hall with Jorge in tow.

The walk was brief with little more than identical corridors or the occasional painting or tapestry to draw the eye. Jorge kept his eyes ahead; trying to ignore the nervous glances the stallion threw at him, or the curious ones his female companion offered.

“What were your names again?” asked Jorge, having grown tired of echoing footsteps that bounced along the walls.

“I’m Midnight Blossom, this is Cloud Skipper,” explained the black mare.

Jorge nodded, and the group fell back into silence.

“So…you’re a human, huh?” asked ‘Midnight’ after rounding their fourth corner, prompting ‘Cloud’ to shoot her an annoyed glare.

“What gave it away?”

“How’d you end up in Equestria?” she asked, ignoring the Spartan’s jibe.

“Don’t know.”

“Oh,” she said, disappointed.

The group walked through a pair of doors and out into the Castle’s gardens. Midnight cringed, which caught Jorge’s attention, but he didn’t say anything.

They made their way to a white structure built against the Castle’s walls. It was long, nearly spanning the entire length of that section of the wall. Two long extensions jutted out from the ends, giving the whole structure a ‘U’ shape.

Despite its length, there were only a couple doors leading into it, and almost no windows on the bottom floor. It looked like someone stacked some marble bricks together and stuck a dozens of chimneys out spewing white smoke into them. The roof was slanted downward away from the battlements, and tiled purple, lending itself well to the esthetic of the rest of the Castle.

The only reason Jorge would have even guessed they were barracks was because of the dozens of troops conducting drills around and above the structure. Pegasi laden with heavy rucksacks were performing aerial maneuvers through a cloud obstacle course. On the ground, jogged around the courtyard while a drill sergeant called them weak and commented on the sexual promiscuity of their collective mothers.

What really caught Jorge’s attention though were the unicorns, who were firing spells at a group of targets, which either burst into flames or outright exploded. The magic wasn’t what Jorge was interested in however, although it certainly was impressive. No, what really caught the human’s interest were the straw manikins they were using as targets.

Namely, the fact that they were vaguely human shaped.

The magic flingers stopped unleashing their wrath on the defenseless stuffed humans. The earth ponies slowed down to a trot and stopped entirely, their trainers looking like they were about to burst a vein before their voices faded as well. Even the pegasi had ceased their drills to hover quietly in the air.

Every single one of them had stopped to stare at Jorge, and they did not look happy.

The Spartan clenched his fist anxiously as he drank up the hundreds of glares. I really need to stop making friends…

The trio hurriedly walked to the front entrance to the barracks, all the while being drilled by the glares. They walked through the door and were assaulted by the cacophony of chattering voices and clinking silverware as they entered the mess hall.

Anger and merriment, arguments and jests, the mess hall was awash in a sea of voices that struck Jorge like a hammer. In an instant, he was reliving a hundred memories. Boisterous laughter echoed across the room’s walls as friends, comrades, and brothers in arms sat among each other, eating and telling lewd jokes to captive audiences. Cooks yelled at each or at the occasional soldier who had the audacity to complain about the ration’s portions. Stories about yesterday’s escapades or this or that hard-assed drillmaster were traded. It was an environment that Jorge knew well, an inviting ambiance that called forward anybody who has ever answered a call to duty to come forth and take part in the merriment.

And with the flip of a switch, it disappeared.

No sooner had Jorge walked through the doors, that the hall became deathly silent. As with the troops outside, every single pair of eyes had turned on the human, and while this was nothing he wasn’t already used to, the hostility with which he was greeted with was jarring. With the exception of some of the younger looking guards, who looked more awestruck and curious than anything else, the ponies looked at him with unhidden hatred.

A tense silence oozed into everyone’s hearts; the only movement being thin wisps of steam floating from the guards’ breakfast. No one dared to move, fearing that the slightest twitch would send the hall into frenzy. Jorge could swear he heard the digital clock on his HUD ticking away at the seconds like some ancient grandfather clock.

Then, with a nervous cough, Cloud Skipper shattered the tension, giving an all clear for everyone to breath again. The mess hall’s ambiance returned, albeit more subdued, as if muffled by glass and whispers, and Jorge felt himself release and breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

Jesus, what was that about?

“This way,” muttered Skipper quietly, leading Jorge and Midnight through the throngs of seats. If looks could kill, Jorge reckoned he must have been stabbed to death at least a few hundred times.

A couple of guards walked by, shoving Cloud hard and giving him a dirty look before walking past Jorge and taking their spot in the line. Midnight all but hissed at them, causing the burly guards to recoil slightly.

Midnight, Cloud and Jorge found an empty table in a secluded corner of the room, and sat down, Jorge taking his place on the floor rather than the bench, earning a curious glance from Midnight.

“I’ll get us some food,” said Cloud before heading towards the breakfast line.

“Sooo…” started Midnight. “You’re an alien, right?”

“Something like that…” Jorge glanced at the tables surrounding him. Guards were eyeing him like sharks circling an injured seal.

“That’s awesome!” squee’d the bat-pony. “So, like, do you have ponies where you come from?”

“Sort of.” Two exits… three hundred fifty seven possible hostiles, seventeen rounds across three magazines, two frag grenades, combat knife, kitchen, forty long tables, walls three feet thick…

“Woah, that’s weird… And are all humans as big as you?”

“No.” Jorge everywhere Jorge looked he felt eyes boring into him, guards shifted and squirmed. Everywhere he looked he saw relentless twitching.

“And is it true you guys eat meat?”

An armored guard nodding towards him and muttering something to his buddy.

“Cuz that would be awesome.”

Someone snorting and grinding his teeth.

“I mean, it’d be refreshing to have someone else to talk to about that sort of stuff.”

A stallion sharpening a jagged knife.

“Yup, there ain’t nothing like sinking your teeth into a nice…”

Hooves thumping on tables.

“…juicy…”

Wavering glances.

“…piece of flesh…”

Hushed whispers.

“You know what I mean?”

“Here you go, three bowls of oatmeal.”

Jorge gasped.

His vision focused. Cloud and Midnight were giving him odd looks. A bowl of oatmeal was growing cold in front of him.

“I think I just lost my appetite,” he said, pushing the bowl away distastefully. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was just asking if you ate meat,” clarified Midnight as she and were about to start eating.

“Yeah, I do.” Jorge looked over to the kitchen and noticed one of the chefs glaring at their table and snorting. “I wouldn’t eat those if I were you.”

Midnight and Cloud glanced at their meals and at each other before pushing them next to Jorge’s.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve never seen a pony quite like you before,” Jorge said to Midnight. “What are you exactly, some sort of vampire?”

“Uh… no, I’m a pony, a nycha. But everypony just calls us bat-ponies. We’re not all that common here in southern Equestria. What’s a vampire?”

“Creature of human mythology,” explained the Spartan. “Monsters of the night. Characterized by their ability to turn into bats, their sharp fangs, and their habit of sucking mortal’s blood.”

The mare’s eyes widened and she grinned eerily. “Sucking blood, huh? That’s sounds awesome.”

Cloud groaned and shook his head. “Great, now you’re giving her ideas.”

“You eat meat?”

The mare shrugged. “Just fish. Most nycha don’t cuz it’s so taboo for ponies, but I still slip the occasional shrimp when I can get my hooves on ‘em.”

“You’re disgusting,” said Cloud. Midnight stuck her tongue out at him.

Jorge noticed that the whispers were becoming more pronounced. A few of the nearby guards tensed and eyed him with predatory eagerness.

“Maybe we should take this outsi—”

“You traitors sure got a lotta nerve showin’ your faces around here.”

The lunch line parted like the Red Sea to make way for a large, orange, silver maned earth pony. The guard was big, almost a head taller than Big Macintosh, wearing a mean grin through cracked, yellow teeth as he cozied up against Jorge’s table.

“Can we help you, Stout?” asked Skipper coldly.

“Why yes, yes you can. Ah was just wonderin’ why y’all decided to bring this big feller into our mess hall.”

“We’re just here to get some breakfast.”

The burly stallion leaned on the table and smiled sadistically to Skipper. “Well it looks like y’all are just about done. So why don’t you and your freak pet here just leave before we have some trouble. The hot piece of flank can stay though.” He winked at Midnight and eyed her rump lecherously.

Cloud opened his mouth to say something, but was beaten to the punch.

“I would suggest you back away before you get hurt,” rumbled Jorge without taking his eyes off the table.

The guard’s face twisted in rage. “Did you just threaten’ me, freak?” he snarled.

“Just giving a friendly suggestion.”

The earth pony brought his face in, snorting and fogging up Jorge’s visor. “You think you can just walk in here, after what you did?” The stallion growled. “No one attacks our Princesses and shows up to our Castle as a fuckin’ guest, least not while the Royal Guard’s got anything to say about it. Do you hear me, ape?”

Jorge removed his helmet and carefully placed it on the table, before slowly turning to face the offending pony with a look that chilled bones. “Is that what Celestia thought before I wrapped my hand around her pretty little horn and nearly tore it off?”

A hoof snapped back, ready to lunge forward and strike the seven-foot human. But before he could move forward, the stallion’s battle cry was abruptly cut short.

Jorge blinked. The stallion was standing stock still, his hoof raised back over his head and his body quivering slightly. Midnight was standing, her foreleg outstretched and the metal claws on her hoof pushed up against his throat.

God she’s fast!

“I’m disappointed in you, Stout Shield,” tisked the bat-pony poisonously. “Treating a royal guest, personally invited by Princesses Celestia and Luna, so rudely. What kind of message does that send about your Solar Guard?”

Midnight pushed the claw a little harder, raising Stout Shield’s chin up, exposing his neck for all to see. The cold steel stung his throat. The sharp metal cut right under his chin, not enough to draw blood, but enough to cause his jaw to tremble in fear.

“Maybe I need to teach you a lesson in hospitality. It wouldn’t take too long. All it would take is one, quick…” Midnight ran the claws against his Adam’s apple and bared her fangs in a gleefully macabre grin, “…ssslice.” Stout’s legs trembled as the tickle shot through his veins.

“Or maybe…” Midnight’s free hoof slide down between the guard’s legs, and with one jerk caused the virile male to let out a pitifully loud whimper. “…a quick, little, snip?”

“My, my, my, Stout,” gasped the mare theatrically, tugging and making Stout’s eyes go wide in unbridled terror. “Looks like your impressive size doesn’t exactly apply to every part of your physiology now does it? Just think of all those disappointed mares.”

Midnight moved in close, bringing her lips millimeters from Stout’s ear. “What was that you said, big boy? About my flank?” The stallion gave no more reply than a simple snivel. “Now that I have your undivided attention, listen, and listen carefully. If you bother Cloud’s and my escort again, or you fuck with our assignment in any other way, I’ll do more than just squeeze ‘em, understood?”

Stout nodded furiously, and Midnight backed away. But before he could breath a sigh of relief, the mare spun around and bucked him square in the chest, sending him crashing into the next table over. Midnight looked unto the rest of the mess hall.

“Anypony else?”

Everyone averted their gaze, suddenly taking interest in the tables in front of them.

“Didn’t think so,” she snorted to herself before retaking her seat next to Jorge.

Cloud Skipper frowned. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“He was interfering in our mission, Cloud.”

Cloud shook his head. “You didn’t have to make such a show out of it Midnight. Discretion is the name of the game.”

Midnight scoffed. “The bastard was lucky I didn’t geld him after that flank comment.”

“So is that how the elite royal guard operates?” asked Jorge contemptuously. “Threatening to hand out free vasectomies to its fellow members? It’s not wonder I got so close to snuffing your Princess.”

Midnight and Cloud bristled furiously.

“I solved the problem, didn’t I?” snarled the bat-pony.

Jorge scowled. “No, you didn’t. Look around you.” Midnight and Cloud reluctantly did as they were told. The guards were all staring down at their tables, not taking their eyes off the bark in front of them expect to only briefly give a sullen glance over to the human’s table.

“Do their eyes look full of terror, full of apprehension? No. That’s because that isn’t submissiveness, that’s patience. They’re going to think twice before rushing head on to attack us sure, but that only means that next time they're going to be smart about it. It means now, they’re more pissed than ever, but they have the level headedness to be cautious about it. I’ll give you one thing, I am impressed as hell; but that doesn’t take away the fact that your stupidity just made our position ten times more dangerous. This’ll come back to bite us in the ass, I’m sure of it.”

Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom glanced uncertainly to each other.

“Maybe we should go,” offered the white stallion.

Jorge nodded. “Maybe we should.”

The three stood up and made their way to the exit, trying to ignore the feeling of being watched by hundreds of hungry predators. When they were a healthy distance from the barracks Jorge finally relaxed.

“Well that was fun. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to my room and wait for the stupid meeting to start.”

“Whoa, whoa,” exclaimed Midnight, jumping in front of the human, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Uh, we’re your escorts, remember? We kind of have to go with you.”

“No thank you. I’m relieving you of duty.”

“You don’t have the authority to do that,” asserted Cloud.

“I don’t care. All I asked you is to take me to get some breakfast. Not only have I not eaten yet, but also you threw me into a pool of piranhas and tossed a bucket of blood in there to get them excited. So excuse me if I don’t want you to babysit me anymore.”

“I told you it was a bad idea,” muttered Cloud. “We still have orders from the Princess herself. We don’t have a choice. And neither do you.”

Jorge glared at Cloud, but the royal guard held his ground.

“Take me to see Celestia,” ordered Jorge.

The stallion blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Take me to see the Princess, now.”

“I don’t think that—”

“You said that as my baby sitter you would do everything possible to make my stay as pleasant as possible, so I’m going to be pragmatic and give you two options: You can either take me to see Celestia, or, alternatively, I can choose the less simple route and start breaking through the walls of that maze of a castle until I find her room.” Jorge leaned down until he was level with the guard. “And trust me, I’m good at breaking down walls.”

Cloud grit his teeth and held his gaze with the Spartan’s faceless visor. He turned around with a scowl. “This way,” he growled.

Midnight looked between Jorge and Cloud hesitantly before following her partner, Jorge close by. They walked through one of the side entrances of the Castles, and Jorge found himself in a thin corridor. The Spartan tied to hunch down to fit in the claustrophobic hallway, but his armor still screeched against the stone regardless.

“Do you have to wear such big armor,” whined Midnight, her ears twitching wildly before folding back in pain.

“The only thing keeping all those charming guards from trying to take a stab at me, literally, is this armor,” answered Jorge cheekily. “So yes. Did you have to pick such a narrow entrance?”

“These servant’s corridors run along the whole Castle,” explained Cloud. “They’re the fastest way to get to the throne room.”

The trio made their way through the catacomb like hall for what felt like hours. The trip was punctuated by high-pitched whines from Midnight as the scraping and screeching of the MJOLNIR’s metal plates against the walls hurt her ears. Finally, they made it to a small dead end. Just as Jorge was about to voice his displeasure, Cloud pushed one of the stones on the walls, causing it to slide open and wash the group in sunlight. Jorge recognized the hall as the same one he had been brought to yesterday when he first arrived to the castle.

Nobles were wandering aimlessly, muttering to themselves or anyone nearby to hear them. That is, until they got their first look of Jorge, which invited the same stunned, shocked, or outright petrified reactions he had grown so accustomed to. At the massive door to the throne room, and irate guard was trying to keep his patience with a white pony with a stylized golden mane, who looked like he was about to burst a vein in rage.

“I’m sorry, your highness. But her Majesty will not be taking caller today or for the foreseeable future until further notice, no exceptions.”

“No exceptions!?” fumed the noble pony. “Do you any idea who I am?”

“Yes, your highness, I already told you I do,” said the guard, trying to keep his teeth grinding from being too obvious. That doesn’t change the fact th—” He trailed off as he noticed Cloud Skipper making his way to the entrance, with Jorge taking the rear. Cloud gave him a simple nod, and the guard hastily made way for the two Eclipse guards and the human to pass. As the door closed behind him, Jorge could hear the noble screaming indignantly.

Celestia and Luna were standing side by side, muttering something to themselves. They were both quick to notice Jorge’s presence.

“Ah, good morning, Jorge,” greeted Celestia. “What a pleasant surprise. I’m afraid you just missed the delegation from Gryph. I trust you slept well?”

“Well enough, thank you,” answered Jorge curtly.

“Do you need something?”

“Yes, in fact I do. I was just here to ask why you found it necessary to send these two muppets to, as they put it, babysit me.”

Midnight and Cloud stepped forward and knelt before their rulers.

“I’m sorry, your Majesty,” said Cloud. “But he insisted we bring him to you immediately.”

Celestia nodded sympathetically. “Worry not, paladin. You did well.” She turned her attention to the annoyed Spartan. “I thought it would be easier for you to have two guides to take you around the Castle. It can be confusing to newcomers.”

“What was wrong with Twilight, or the others from Ponyville, why couldn’t they 'guide' me?”

One of Luna’s eyebrows rose. “Missing the Elements are you?” she teased.

“I don’t like being guarded.”

“I assure you that was not our intention,” said Celestia. “As my student, Twilight has been helping me organize today’s events, and the Elements are not familiar with the Castle.”

“Besides,” interjected Luna. “We remembered how much you liked meeting new people, so…”

Celestia’s lips twitched slightly. A subtle gesture, but one that showed Jorge she didn’t approve of her sister’s sarcasm. Jorge couldn’t say he was a fan either.

“Yeah, I love it,” glowered Jorge. “I met a charming group of new friends just now at the barracks. Real fun bunch. And only half of them looked like they wanted to rip my throat out.”

Luna’s eyes widened considerably, while her sister frowned.

“That reminds me, it seems your guards aren’t that fond of me, Princess.”

“Yes, I am aware,” sighed Celestia. “I was hoping that they would be able to contain their vitriol, but regrettably it seems their loyalty to me outweighs their fear of disobeying orders.”

“And knowing this you still sent these two to accompany me?” asked Jorge incredulously.

“I assure you, Jorge, the members of our Eclipse guard are all well disciplined. You have no need to fear Midnight and Cloud harming you.”

Fear of them harming me isn’t the problem. “Just tell me this, will your guards be a problem?”

“No,” said Celestia with finality.

“What were you doing in the barracks?” asked Luna.

“Getting breakfast.”

The blue alicorn wrinkled her nose distastefully. “Military rations?”

Jorge shrugged. “I’ve been eating them my whole life. I’ll survive.”

This drew surprised glances from Midnight and Cloud.

“Now,” continued Jorge. “About these two?”

“I insist that they remain by your side for the duration of your stay so as to not tempt any of my more volatile guards.”

Jorge’s eyes narrowed. “You said—”

“Regardless,” interrupted the Princess. “Best not take any chances.” The Princess glanced to a clock hanging over the entrance to the throne room. “A bit early for breakfast, don’t you think?”

“I’m an early riser. But the cooks over at the barracks seemed to agree with you.”

“I see. Well if you want I’m sure we could convince the chefs to start early today, if you’d be so kind to join my sister and I in the dining room.”

“First I’d like to ask about this delay in the meeting.”

“Come,” said Celestia, heading out. “We’ll discuss it on the way there.”

Jorge hesitated, but ultimately followed the alicorn and her sister on the way to the dining room. He settled next to the both of them, his two guards hovering close by.

“I’m sure my guards explained the situation to you, correct?”

“They were vague,” answered Jorge.

“The meeting has been postponed. The reason being that one of the groups of delegates has yet to arrive. We do not yet know the nature of their delay, but are doing everything possible to find out.”

“Who’s missing?” asked Jorge, ignoring the stares from passersby.

“The minotaurs,” explained Luna.

“Can’t we start without them?”

Celestia nodded gracefully to a group of servants who had stopped to bow respectfully. “As I explained to the others, no. A new race appearing is no small thing, even if it wasn’t one featured so prominently in our mythology. To start without them would be a grave insult.”

“Besides, the minotaurs would be the group most… sensitive about your arrival,” pointed out Luna.

“Yeah, I remembered one of the reporters from two days ago mention something about them demanding my execution,” said the Spartan dryly.

Luna coughed awkwardly. “Yes, well, they have assured us that is merely a fringe political group.”

“For some reason, I don’t find that all that reassuring.”

Jorge, both Princesses, and his guards entered the dining room and were surprised to find that it was already occupied.

“Good morning, aunties, Jorge,” greeted Cadence cheerfully from the head of the table, pausing from her meal. Five of the six element bearers were present as well along with Lyra, all enjoying an early breakfast, the absence being Rainbow Dash, who was nowhere in sight.

“Good morning, Princess!” shouted Twilight ecstatically as she hopped off her chair and trotted to Celestia. The two shared an affectionate nuzzle as the rest gave their greetings.

“I apologize for starting without you, aunty; but we woke up early this morning,” explained Cadence.

“Morning Jorgie!” shouted Pinkie, who was busy stuffing her face full of cupcake next to a familiar mint unicorn.

“Jorge, Jorge, over here!” cried out Lyra, waving her hooves frantically. “I saved a seat for you!”

The Spartan groaned and looked to Luna for help, but the alicorn just smirked and took a seat next to her sister. With little choice, Jorge reluctantly joined Lyra, who was quick to leer at him. Before she could say anything though, he snapped his finger up in a silencing gesture.

“Not a word about yesterday to anyone, understood?” he murmured into her ear.

Lyra pouted but nodded. She glanced over the human’s shoulders and noticed Cloud and Midnight standing vigilantly behind him.

“Uh…who are these two?”

“New friends.”

A loud gasp drew everyone’s attention to Pinkie, who was staring at the two suddenly anxious guards with glee. She hopped over to the other side of the table and landed right in front of them.

“Hi there! My name’s Pinkie Pie, and it’s super pleasurific to meet you!”

Cloud leaned back nervously from the beaming she-demon while Midnight grinning maliciously at her partner’s predicament.

Jorge couldn’t say he blamed her.

“I’m Paladin Cloud Skipper, member of her Majesty’s—”

“Ooh, you’re a guard? Do you live in Canterlot?”

“Uh…yes?”

“Yay! I’ve always wanted to have a best friend who lives in Canterlot. Twilight told me about a bunch of her friends who lived in Canterlot, she called them pen pals and she said they sent letters to each other every week, and I was super happy because Twilight has other friends which is great, cuz let’s face it she doesn’t get out all that much. But then I was super sad because pen palling sounds almost as fun as strip checker-chess. But now that you live in Canterlot we can send letters to each other every day because…”

And that’s as much as Jorge heard before he tuned out the nonsense and turned his back on the perplexed paladin. He slipped his helmet off and began enjoying a handful of grapes.

“So Jorge, you’ll be happy to know that I added the finishing touches of my latest creation,” said Rarity as she daintily wiped her mouth. “Let’s just say that you’re going to look fabulous.”

“Look Rarity, I appreciate the effort you’re putting into this, but I’m not wearing anything other than my armor.”

“We’ll see~” sang the fashionista in a way that filled Jorge with dread.

I do not like the sound of that… “Where’s Rainbow Dash?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Sleepin’ in. We tried to wake her, but she would budge. So we caught up with Lyra and headed here. She was just tellin’ us uh little bit ‘bout humans.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh yes,” said Fluttershy, smiling demurely. “It was very interesting.”

“Ah’ll say. Ah didn’t know ya’ll had four stomachs.”

Jorge nearly choked on his orange juice. “Excuse me,” he coughed.

“Your four stomachs.”

Jorge down towards Lyra. “What have you been telling them?”

The unicorn’s proud smile dropped. “I was just telling them a little bit about your anatomy.”

“The why’d you tell them I have four stomachs.”

“Don’t you?” she asked with utter perplexity.

Jorge shook his head.

“Oh…does this mean you aren’t cold blooded?”

Before Jorge could even think about how to respond to such a question, he felt a light tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Cadence smiling at him.

“Good morning, Jorge.”

“Good morning,” he grunted, shaking his surreal conversation with Lyra out of his head. He glanced over at the unicorn and saw her scribbling something down furiously in her notes. I’m going to have to add ‘human anatomy’ to the list of things I need to talk to Lyra about. Right next to ‘boundaries’ and ‘creepy grins.’

“How was your first night at the Castle?”

“Fine.”

“That’s good. Most people find it a bit cold.”

Jorge swallowed a mouthful of plum and wiped his chin. “I slept well, Princess. Thank you for your concern.”

Cadence hummed. “Any plans for the day?”

Jorge frowned with equal parts suspicion and puzzlement. “I assumed you would have something planned.”

Cadence shook her head. “You are a guest, Jorge. You are free to go where you please, although my aunt would rather you avoided the western towers until the end of the meeting.”

“Oh darn, and here I was planning a picnic in the western towers. But other than that, my schedule is clear.”

Cadence laughed softly, her voice flowing like a sweet melody. “That’s good. Are you nervous?”

“Impatient.”

The room’s conversations were cut off as the door flew open wildly, and a scrawny guard galloped through. He came to a screeching halt in front of Celestia. The Princess waited patiently while the stallion took a moment to catch his breath.

“Your Majesty,” he panted. “The minotaurs have arrived. They demand an audience with you.”

Celestia and Luna stood up immediately. The white alicorn nodded to the guard before facing everyone at the table. “I’m sorry, everyone. Looks like we’re back on schedule.” Without another word she and her sister followed the guard out, leaving a table full of confused faces.

Cadence smiled mirthlessly at Jorge. “Well then. I guess you’re in luck.”

---

Dash stretched her wings until they gave an audible pop. She sighed contently and hummed to herself as she walked through one of the Castle’s corridor. Her coat and mane where matted with sweat, and her body felt like she had just gone through an endurance exam at the Wonderbolt Academy.

Despite this, she was on cloud nine.

New record around the Castle! she thought to herself. Who’s awesome? I’m awesome!

She grinned to herself. More awesome than that freak Joe or whatever.

At the thought of Jorge, her grin spoiled to an angry scowl. She had to keep herself from grinding her teeth in rage at the very thought.

Nope, not gonna think about that stupid monkey. Gonna go to my room and take a nice, cool shower—

She gasped. With the kind breakneck speed she prided herself on, Dash dashed back around the corner she had just turned and hugged the wall.

“What’s he doing here!?” she whispered harshly to herself. Nervous sweat poured down her brow. “It’s okay, don’t panic. Just wait for him to leave, and get back to the room as quickly as possible.”

“Great plan.”

Dash smirked. “Yeah, I—” She paused and slowly turned her head until her nose booped with a grinning beak.

“Who are we hiding from?” whispered the beak.

“Aaaargh!” Dash’s fur frazzled as she leapt away from the griffin in shock.

“Fear not, my sweet maiden!” cried out the Griffin grabbing a hold of her and squeezing her close to his chest. “I shall protect you from whatever fiend you hide from!”

A second griffin came around the corner and spotted the two with an amused smile. “Making friends, your highness?”

“Jocelyn, remercier les ancêtres vous etes ici! I was just guarding this sweet damsel from some foul creature.”

Jocelyn’s eyebrow rose when he saw Rainbow Dash, who squirmed and blushed in the King’s grip. “Yes, I see. Your highness, perhaps you’d like to go find this beast?”

“But… what about the damsel?”

“I will care for her.”

“Ah, noble as ever, mon fidèle Jocelyn.” The King let go of Dash, dropping her unceremoniously, and shot a talon dramatically in the air. “I, King Aile of Gryph, shall slay the beast for the beautiful maiden!”

Dash gawked in confusion as the king kissed her hoof and rushed down the hall, leaving her alone with Jocelyn, who stared down at her with the same grandfatherly smile.

“Bonjour, Rainbow Dash.”

Dash scrambled onto her hooves and laughed nervously. “Uh… bonjour Monsieur Tremblay. Sa va bien?”

Jocelyn looked pleasantly surprised. “Oui, merci. I’m glad to see you still remember some of what my grand-daughter taught you.”

Dash fidgeted uncomfortably. “Uh… yeah.”

The old griffin looked at the wall Dash had been hiding behind and chuckled. “I see you aren’t as happy to see me as I am to see you.”

“W-what no I—”

Jocelyn raised his hand to silence the pony. “It’s fine Dash, I understand. I know what happened.”

“You… do?”

The griffin sat down on the hard stone and leaned against the wall, groaning something about ‘old bones.’ “Not every detail, but the general idea. Gilda was quite upset when she came back from her visit.”

Dash almost flinched at the name. “She’s… she’s not here, is she?”

“No, sadly not. I was truly vexed as to why she’d pass up such an tremendous opportunity.” He looked at Dash. “I suppose now I know why.”

This time the pony did flinch. She would have given anything to be anywhere but with Jocelyn at that moment. “S-sorry,” she mumbled instinctively.

This caught Jocelyn by surprise. “You don’t have to apologize, Miss Dash. I’m not upset.”

“You’re not?”

The griffin shook his head. “Just…sad. You two were inseparable; it pains me to see you two like this.” He waved his claw dismissively. “Listen to me, rambling on about this like an old bird. Tell me a little bit about yourself. You have certainly changed since last I saw you; and Element of Harmony and being tasked to join the human to Canterlot, quite an honor.”

Dash scoffed. “Yeah, real great. Get to hang around that freak all day.”

“Oh? You do not care for the human?”

Rainbow sat next to Jocelyn. “He’s nothing but a monster!”

“Hmm, that’s not what I heard from Luna or Celestia at all.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with everypony. They’ll all acting like I’m in the wrong here!” she cried indignantly, throwing her hooves in the air.

“And why do you hate him so much?”

“He attacked the Princesses! And he punched me,” she mumbled, rubbing her eye.

“My, that is a quite serious,” he said, without so much as batting an eye. “Why would he do something like that.”

“Cuz he’s a monster!”

“So he just attacked you, unprovoked?”

Dash shifted awkwardly. “Well… no. I did kind of try to…hit him.”

Jocelyn gave Dash an amused smile causing her to scowl and cross her forelegs in frustration. “I still don’t trust him.”

“But your friends do?”

“Yeah.”

“As do the Princesses?”

“…yeah.”

“And I take it they dislike your behavior towards Jorge.”

Dash didn’t answer.

Joce sighed and looked at the ceiling. “You know, my granddaughter was very jealous when she found out you had made new friends, especially ones she didn’t quite take a… likening to. Much like you and this human.”

“That was different.”

One of his eyebrows rose. “Is it?”

Rainbow opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it.

“She couldn’t understand how you could associate yourself with such ponies.” He chuckled. “Had she known that they were the Elements of Harmony perhaps she would have behaved differently, who’s to say. But now it’s too late, and she is very angry.”

Dash winced. “At me?”

“At herself. She will never admit it, and ancestor’s know she’d rip my beak of for even hinting it, but Gilda blames herself for what happened between you two. For being so stubborn.”

“What’s your point?” snapped Dash.

Jocelyn shrugged. “I don’t have a point. I’m old. That’s what old bird’s do I suppose. When your bones turn to dust, you having nothing else but your words.”

A pair of Royal Guards rushed past the two of them in a panic.

“Quick, some crazy griffin just broke into the kitchen and is wrecking the place!” screamed one of them as they scrambled down the hall.

“And that’s my cue,” sighed Jocelyn, groaning as he slowly stood up. “I hope that well-meaning fool didn’t hurt himself.” He turned to Dash and flashed her a paternal smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Rainbow Dash. I hope you solve your problems with this human.” And with that, he strolled down through where the guards went, humming to himself as he went.

Dash stared at the floor in silence for a few minutes before scowling and bumping her head back into the wall.

I hate it when he does that.

---

“Rarity I—”

“Hush now, darling. Just close your eyes and wait a moment. I guarantee you’ll be quite satisfied.”

“That’s what she said,” snickered Lyra from the couch, earning a glare from the fashionista and a giggle from Pinkie Pie.

Jorge scowled and did as he was told.

Shortly after the announcement that the minotaurs had arrived, everything was thrown into chaos. Guards started frantically running to and fro, trying to get the logistics of the meeting’s security in check. Their panic was only seconded by that of the scribes, who looked like they were going to have a heart attack from the very thought of trying to get the schedule back on track. The girls ignored the ruckus and chatted excitedly amongst themselves, while Midnight and Cloud did their best to form a perimeter around Jorge, a gesture that he found amusing to say the least.

Celestia and Luna were fortunately able to quell the panic before ordering the two Eclipse guards to escort Jorge back to his room to get him ready. Rarity squealed and insisted she accompany them to show Jorge the ensemble she prepared for him. Before Jorge could have a say in the matter, Lyra insisted that she too accompany them; something about research.

“Wait, so humans don’t asexually reproduce?” asked Lyra as she and Twilight continued taking down notes.

“Lyra, where exactly did you say you got your information about humans from?”

“Mostly from myths and personal hypotheses. So is that a no?”

“Yes. And you and I really need to have a conversation about human anatomy.”

“Uh…can we talk about somethin’ else?” asked Applejack. Jorge could practically feel her blush through his armor.

“Oooh, I got a question!” cried out Midnight enthusiastically, prompting a groan from Cloud. “What kind of weapons do humans use?”

“That’s classified,” answered the human bluntly.

Midnight wrinkled her nose. “Really?”

“No, it’s just a way of saying that I don’t want to answer.”

The bat-pony harrumphed and pouted in annoyance. “You know, foals know how to respect their babysitters.”

“You’ll have to excuse me, I’m not exactly used to it. Give me a few days.”

“Alright, everypony, here it is!” called out Rarity. “Ta-da!”

The room was filled with awestruck gasps.

“Wow Rarity, you’ve really outdone yourself,” praised Fluttershy.

“Don’t I always, darling?”

“It’s amazing!” bubbled Pinkie.

Jorge opened his eyes. Suspended in a blue aura next to Rarity was a suit unlike any he had ever seen. Not that he had seen many, but the point still stood. It was simple, almost deceptively so. Just a black jacket, black pant, white shirt, and a thin black tie. But what it lacked in extravagance, it more than made up for in elegance. Streamlined into a slimming shape, every corner of the suit from the shoulders to the lapels were so sharp Jorge could swear it would cut through iron.

Fluttershy carefully inspected it with her hooves. “Did you hoof stitch the lapels?”

“Of course, darling. After all, it’s not everyday I’m able to create an ensemble for a new species. I wanted it to be special.”

“Oh my! And you only used one row of pick stitching? That’s bold.”

“I try,” laughed Rarity richly with a toss of her mane. “So Jorge, what do you think.”

Jorge shook his head. “It’s gorgeous…”

“Why thank you, darling. See, I knew you—“

“…but.”

Rarity stopped dead in her tracks. “But…but what, darling?” she asked, dreading the answer.

“But I’m going to wear my armor for the meeting.”

The dressmaker wrinkled her nose in distaste. “But…but this is going to be a meeting of Royals! You can’t possibly wear that…that…”

Jorge narrowed his eyes as if to say that she should pick her next few words carefully.

“…that… uh… rugged ensemble. You’re an honored guest, and armor wouldn’t be befitting for such an esteemed dignitary.”

“What’s wrong with armor?” whispered Midnight to Cloud, earning a shrug.

“Thank you, but flattery will get you nowhere,” deadpanned Jorge. Besides, I know a charming group of guard who would disagree.

Sensing that flattery would get her nowhere, Rarity decided to change her tactics. She brought a hoof to her forehead and sighed dramatically. “Oh woe is me! I slaved away over a sewing machine for hours, nay, days, and it was all for naught! But oh well, if you want to wear your armor instead, I suppose that’s fine. I just —sniff— wanted to make something —sniff— something special for you.”

And thus, the record for most eye rolls performed in a single room was shattered.

“Oh my,” gasped Fluttershy, the only abstainer from said record. “Please don’t cry, Rarity. I… oh dear… I’ll wear it if you want.”

“Sugarcube, she’s only bein’ dramatic, which reminds me. Can ah get some butter for that corn, Rarity?”

Rarity shot Applejack a quick glare before sniffing again and looking pitifully at Jorge.

The Spartan didn’t find the unicorn’s antics as amusing as her friends did. “No.”

Undeterred, Rarity pulled out a pair of puppy dog eyes and pouted. “Pweeeaaase?”

“Oh come one, Jorgie!” shouted Pinkie Pie, hopping next to Rarity. “Just look at her! Wear the suit, you’ll look super in it.” Edged on by her pink friend, Rarity quivered her lip and gave the Jorge the cutest look she could muster.

“Are you drooling?” asked Midnight incredulously with a glance to her partner.

Cloud coughed awkwardly and blushed. “S-shut up.”

Jorge however, was still not amused. “You both seem to forget that I spent the better part of two days with the Cutie-Mark Crusaders.”

“Drat,” muttered Rarity. She glared at the human. “Am I going to have to hold you down and force it on?”

One of Jorge’s eyebrows rose. “Is that a threat?”

“Of course not, darling,” laughed Rarity good-naturedly before muttering ‘at least, not yet,’ to herself.

“Jorge, you should think about this,” said Twilight. “Wearing something a little more formal would show respect. It could help make things go smoother.”

Jorge stared at the suit, lost in thought. He grabbed ahold of one of the sleeves and rubbed in between his fingers. The fine fabric felt foreign in his thick fingers.

“Even if I wanted to wear it, I don’t think I’d be able to afford it.”

Rarity blinked in confusion and started laughing. “My dear, you thought I would charge you for this? Don’t be absurd, I wouldn’t dream of it. This is a gift.”

“You’d just give this to me? This must be worth a fortune.”

The unicorn waved her hoof dismissively. “Believe me darling, it’s a pleasure.”

Jorge looked down at the soft wool in his hand. “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept this,” he said, pushing it away.

Rarity her hoof on the humans knee and gave him a reassuring smile. “Please Jorge, I insist. The only thing I ask him return is that you try it on.”

The girls gave Jorge encouraging nods. He sighed, taking the suit in his arms. “Alright,” was all he said as he shut the bathroom door behind him.

The Spartan looked at his pistol and combat knife with a frown, and searched the bathroom for a place to put it. He eventually settled on the cabinet over the sink. He knew he couldn’t carry a weapon into the meeting, but that didn’t make him feel better about leaving his best means of defence behind.

Hesitantly, he took off his armor bit by bit, and pulled the white shirt on. The fabric was cool to the touch, and a quick shiver ran down his back. He fumbled with the buttons for a few minutes before giving up and slipping on the pants. He put on the jacket and tackled the shirt again, this time managing to button it. Everything was a perfect fit, almost like his armor. Jorge brought the tie up to his neck.

That’s when it hit him.

He had never tied a tie before.

The soldier looked in the mirror.

His suit was black, bright.

His eyes were haggard.

A culmination of artistic genius.

A face, aged by years of hardship.

Shining luxury, which made his body handsomely finesse.

Deep wrinkles that forever gave him a tired frown.

Smooth, elegant.

Hard, unflinching.

I don’t know how to tie a tie…

Jorge didn’t know how long he stood there clutching the tie like a lost child, but eventually a loud whisper from outside made him blink and sigh.

He stepped out to a chorus of gasps.

“Darling, you look absolutely stunning!” breathed Rarity. She inspected him from top to bottom and tsked. “Oh, but you buttoned it wrong.”

“I did?” Jorge looked down, as far as he could tell he had fastened every button.

“They’re all miss-matched, and your collar is popped. Here, allow me.”

The Spartan felt a familiar tingle as Rarity used her magic to fix his shirt and put on his tie.

“Ah gotta say Jorge, you clean up nice,” said Applejack, to nods of approval from the rest of the girls.

“Uh, thanks. I don’t suppose you have any shoes for me?” He gestured to the MJOLNIR boots that were still on his feet.

“Oh dear. I’m sorry, but that’s not my forte. I’m sure we could go into the city and find a blacksmith to fix some up for you.”

Jorge was about to ask what she was talking about when a knock came from the door. It swung open and Cadence popped her head through.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but…” She trailed off and blinked in surprise when she got a look at Jorge. “My, look at you.”

He muttered an unenthusiastic ‘thanks.’

“I know!” bubbled Pinkie. “Jorgie’s all dressed up. Soon we won’t be able to tell him apart from all these fancy Canterlot ponies.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, Pinkie,” laughed Twilight with a roll of her eyes.

Pinkie looked at Twilight in confusion before nodding in understanding. “Oh right, the boots.”

Cloud and Midnight stared at Pinkie in disbelief. The stallion opened his mouth to say something, but was silenced by a shake of the head from Jorge.

“Don’t even try,” grumbled the soldier. “That way lies in madness.” He turned his attention to Cadence, who was waiting patiently by the door. “Yes?”

“I don’t mean to interrupt. But we’re ready for you.”

Jorge felt dread pool in the pit of his stomach. “Right, let’s get this over with.”

“Good luck Jorgie, remember to smile.”

“Yeah, just give ‘em uh taste uh yer charmin’ personality and you’ll be just fine,” teased Applejack.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” deadpanned Jorge, a grin tugging at his lips.

“You’ll be fine, darling. You look stunning.”

“And we’ll be waiting for you when you're done,” offered Twilight.

Lyra nodded and pointed her hoof at Jorge.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“I’m trying to give you a thumbs up.”

Jorge snorted in amusement. “Alright,” he said, nodding to Cadence. “Let’s go.”

The two made their way down the hall and were quickly joined by Midnight and Cloud, who flanked Jorge and Cadence at both sides.

“You two are joining us?”

“Yes, orders from Celestia,” answered Cloud brusquely.

“Plus, moral support and all that,” joked Midnight. “Not that you’ll need it from the looks of it. Only one week and already friends with the Elements of Harmony. You sure know how to get around.”

“Don’t forget all those new friends who wanted to stab me back in the barracks,” grumbled the Spartan.

Cadence shot him a vexed look, but didn’t say anything. The group made their way through twisted corridors and up spiral staircases, and Jorge eventually came to the conclusion that the only way the ponies were able to navigate through the labyrinth was with magic.

“Nervous yet?” asked Cadence, trying to break the tedium.

“Still just anxious,” answered Jorge with a shake of his head.

“It’s okay to be nervous you know. I certainly am.”

“Believe me, it takes a bit more to make me me nervous.”

That sparked Cadence’s curious. “Like what, pray tell?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“But now I’m curious.”

Jorge looked at Cadence with hard eyes. “Believe me, you do not want to know.”

Cadence swallowed a lump in her throat and stayed quiet after that.

The group rounded a corner and came to a wooden door. It was a simple door, plainly carved and chipped with age. The metal bolts had long since rusted and the wood wasn’t even polished; quite out of place in such a lavishly decorated Castle.

“Here were are,” announced Cadence.

“Is this it?”

“Were you expecting something else?”

Jorge eyed the small door. It looked barely big enough to fit him. “It’s just that everything else in this castle is so…extravagant.”

Cadence smiled. “I know what you mean. I was pretty confused when Aunty Celestia told me this was where we were hosting the meeting. This is one of the oldest rooms in the castle.”

“Is it supposed to be symbolic or something?”

Cadence shrugged. “I don’t know. She likes being cryptic. Sometimes I honestly think she just likes feeling smarter than everyone else.”

Jorge snorted and grinned. “Yeah, I used to know someone like that.”

Cadence stared at the door at the door, lost in thought. She took a deep breath and looked seriously at Jorge. “Ready?”

Jorge shrugged. “I’ve been through worse. So what exactly is this going to entail?”

Cadence gave another enigmatic shrug. “They’re just going to ask you a few questions. Learn a little bit about you, about your species. I can’t say for certain. You're about to become a global figure, Jorge.”

“I’m a Spartan,” he muttered. “I’m used to it.”

Even though she didn’t quite understand what he meant, Cadence nodded. She knocked on the door before opening it, and they both stepped through.

---

It’s like a mythological petting zoo.

That was the first thought that crossed the human’s mind when he got a good look at the group of creatures before him, the second being an acknowledgment of how naked he suddenly felt without his armor on. A suit was well and good, but he would quickly regret it if one of the many horns, fangs, or talons present in the room found itself piercing his flesh.

Before he took a good look at arguably the most powerful beings in this new world he found himself on, the human found his attention being drawn to the room.

‘Oldest room in the castle’ was right. It resembled the corridor Jorge had accidently eavesdropped Celestia in the other day. Unpolished stone rather than marble. Cold, damp feel that reached his bones, especially out of his MJOLNIR. Old fashioned torches and candles in place for lighting. All that was needed was a few cobwebs, a thunderstorm, and an old tree rasping its branches against a window to complete the gothic horror aesthetic.

A loud cough drew his gaze to the long table at the end of the room, and, more importantly, to the assortment of creatures sitting behind it. Seated at the center, heading the meeting, were Celestia and Luna, both keeping stoic facades. Cadence stepped past Jorge and took a seat between the Lunar Princess and a colorful horse.

Wow… no wonder they got annoyed when I called them horses, thought Jorge as he examined the equine. It looked like someone with a cruel sense of humor decided to dip a regular Earth horse in a bucket of dark blue paint and adorned it with colorful gems and silk garments. Behind it, and elderly camel in a white turban whispered something to the horse in a what vaguely sounded like Farsi, but Jorge wasn’t sure.

The Spartan took a moment to examine each of the attendees carefully. Next to the odd Middle Eastern looking pair were two griffins. Both were elders. The griffin at the table had a greying plumage, and was wearing both a gaudy robe and an excited, awestruck grin. The second was a brown griffin with a pair of round spectacles resting on his beak. His eyes glinted with unbridled curiosity as he eyed Jorge.

A trio of Zebras wearing gold rings on their necks sat next to Celestia, whispering quietly among themselves. A snort drew Jorge’s attention to the end of the table to a pair of enormous creatures. He immediately recognized them as minotaurs, and quickly wondered why he hadn’t noticed them sooner. Standing at almost eight feet, they were both as tall as he; and that was barring the horns, which easily added an extra foot.

Jorge couldn’t help but gawk. The minotaur seated at the table was taller than his companion behind him. He wore a gold nose ring and a red cape, but otherwise was completely bare. While most of the other beings at the table eyed Jorge with varying degrees of wonder, interest, or incredulity, the minotaur pierced him with a look of pure, genuine loathing. Jorge looked up to his horns.

Those look sharp, he said as he swore he could feel a breeze flowing through the very, very, very thin wool that made up his coat.

The second minotaur was dressed similarly to his larger counterpart, meaning barely dressed at all. He also wore a nose ring that was bronze rather than gold. He had an iron medallion around his neck with a symbol Jorge couldn’t make out, and shackles around his wrists. The most glaring feature however, was his horn. There was only one. His left horn was missing, and in it’s place and ivory stump that looked like it had been whittled down and smoothed over. The maimed minotaur gave Jorge an unnervingly emotionless look.

Finally, the last ‘delegate’ was sitting at the other end of the table, a healthy space between it and the others. And Jorge could see why. The creature looked like something that crawled out of a child’s nightmare. It was vaguely pony shaped, almost like one of the alicorns present, except horribly mangled and distorted. Its body was covered with black chitin, and it’s horn was jagged and bent violently. Its hooves were full of holes, and its wings resembled those of a dragonfly. The monster’s fangs curved as it smiled hungrily at Jorge, and it’s eyes beamed as though it had just been presented with fresh prey.

Which pretty much summed up how Jorge felt at the moment.

“Please, take a seat,” ordered Celestia formally.

Jorge was tempted to refuse, but ultimately obliged the Princess. Midnight and Cloud took their place next to the door.

“Allow me to present the delegates to today’s meeting. Representing the Crystal Empire, Princess Cadence. I believe you two are already acquainted.”

Jorge shot the pink alicorn a surprised glance. She mouthed the words ‘you didn’t ask’ apologetically.

Celestia nodded to the horse colorful horse next to her. “Sultan Khaled Almali of Saddle Arabia.”

The camel behind the King coughed loudly, and Celestia rolled her eyes. “My apologies, I meant to say, His Royal Benevolence Sultan Khaled Almali, shining jewel of Saddle Arabia.”

Jorge however, didn’t hear the full title. His mind was still trying to process the ridiculous pun. Saddle Arabia? Saddle. Arabia?

“King Aile Rapide of Gry—”

The grey griffin vaulted over his desk excitedly and sized up the human excitedly.
“Ha, bully!” He lifted Jorge’s massive arm and inspected carefully, tracing his claws along the human’s suit. “A human of flesh and blood. Bully! This is absolutely remarkable.”

Jorge pulled back his arm in irritation just as Jocelyn cleared her throat. “Your Majesty, would you care to rejoin us.”

“Ah yes.” Aile bowed respectfully. “My apologies.” He returned to his seat wearing a gleeful grin and looking back at Jorge from over his shoulder.

The ambassador shook his head and motioned for Celestia to continue.

The Princess coughed awkwardly. “Yes well, continuing… Elder Zulla, representing the united clans of Zebraica.”

The Zebra next to Celestia said nothing, keeping a level gave with the seated human while her consorts whispered furiously behind her.

“King Iron Fist of Ethnos.”

The massive minotaur’s glower intensified.

“And finally, Queen Chrysalis of the changeling badlands,” finished Celestia, her voice growing cold. Each one of the delegates shifted uncomfortably when Chrysalis’ name had been mentioned, but Jorge didn’t notice.

In fact, he was still distracted by one glaring detail.

“Now, let us comme—”

“Saddle Arabia?” muttered the human incredulously, cutting the Princess off. As soon as he spoke, the rulers bristled in surprise, and started muttering among themselves excitedly.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry, where did you say they were from?” Jorge gestured to the blue horse.

“Saddle Arabia,” answered Celestia.

“That’s ‘Saddle’, as in, the things you wear?”

“Yes…” said the Princess unsurely. “Why?”

Jorge shook his head. “Just checking,” he muttered. Just when I thought they couldn’t get any worse.

“Ha, this is truly fantastic!” cooed the grey griffin in what Jorge swore sounded like a French accent. “It appears as though you were not playing us for fools after all. Your little human looks real as the flesh on my bones!” The ageing king smiled to said human. “Care to present yourself?”

Jorge glanced at the rest of the creatures. They leaned forward expectantly, hanging on his every word. It felt bizarre.

“Jorge zero five two,” he said, turning his attention to the king. “Pleasure.”

“Believe me Monsieur, the pleasure is all mine,” laughed the griffin king giddily. “Oh this is simply marvelous! That is quite an interesting name, if I may say so.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

The blue horse next to Celestia whispered something into the camel’s ear, who nodded and cleared his throat.

“The Great and Benevolent Sultan Almali wishes to ask the creature a question.”

“That creature has a name, Ambassador,” said Luna stiffly, earning a surprised glance from Jorge. The camel turned his nose up at the Princess and looked down at her condescendingly.

“My apologies your 'Majesty,' but the Wonderful and Magnanimous Sultan Almali was addressing your sister.”

“You may ask, Sultan,” said Celestia. “And need I remind you that Princess Luna is heading this meeting as much as I?”

The Sultan whispered something in the camel’s ear.

“Pardon us, your Majesty,” said the translator somewhat begrudgingly before turning his attention back to the human. “The Great and Wonderful Sultan Almili wishes to know where your kind resides, and how you have managed to… avoid detection for so long.”

Once again, the delegates all leaned forward with interest. Even the alicorns looked curious at what Jorge would say.

“I don’t know where we live,” he said after much thought. “At least, not relative to your world. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m in the same universe as you…” God knows what that damn slipspace drive pulled. “…all I can say is that the reason you never found us before is because we don’t exactly reside on this planet.”

Whispering erupted among the rulers, save for the minotaurs, who continued brooding in silence.

“How is it that you arrived then?” asked the zebra.

Jorge shrugged. “I’m not sure myself. I blew something up, and woke up in someone’s basement. Ta-da.”

“And is there any possibility of more of your kind arriving. Perhaps, establishing some sort of diplomatic relations with your government?”

At this, the Minotaur King visibly tensed.

“Not likely.” Jorge’s eyes flickered over to the strange insect looking creature. It licked its razor sharp teeth and grinned maliciously at him; like it knew something he didn’t.

The Sultan once again whispered something to his consort, who promptly cleared his throat. “The Brilliant and Enlightened Sultan Almili wishes to know your purpose here, human.”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you here?” asked the Zebra known as Zulla.

Jorge snorted. “I’ve been asking myself that same question since day one,” he grumbled.

The minotaur king shot up from his chair and slammed his fist on the stone table. “Enough!” he bellowed, voice deep and commanding. “I cannot tolerate any more of this farce. First you insult us by housing this abomination in our diplomatic quarters, and now you sit here and drink his lies like fools. ”

His quarters? That explains all the warm décor.

“As I already explained Iron Fist, that was the only room in the western towers that could fit him,” explained Celestia calmly.

The Minotaur scowled. He pointed to Jorge with burning eyes. “I am sick of all your deceit. What is your true purpose here?”

Jorge’s eyes narrowed and his hand slid down to a pistol he wasn’t wearing. “I just told you.”

“Lies,” spat the enraged minotaur. “What is your true purpose here, sky child? You will tell me.”

“Or what?” challenged Jorge.

The veins on the King’s forehead looked like they were about to burst. With a mighty heave, he flipped the massive stone table and charged up to Jorge until the two were but mere millimeters from each other.

“Or I swear on Pateras’ grave that I will cast you back down to the foul depths of Tartarus from whence you came,” he seethed, ignoring the cries of protest from Celestia and the other delegates.

Jorge’s face-hardened. “I’d like to see you try you malformed cow.”

The air between the two giants sparked. But before either of the two could throw a blow, the maimed minotaur materialized behind his king from out of nowhere. He placed a massive hand on his ruler’s shoulder, and whispered something in his ear.

Hesitation twinkled in the brutish giant’s eyes as they darted from Jorge to his partner. The one-horned minotaur continued whispering, unfazed by either of the two would-be combatants. Finally, the King’s muscles slackened, and he took a step away from the human. Giving one more disgruntled snort, he turned returned to his seat without a word, followed closely by his partner. Jorge glanced over at Celestia, who was glancing between he and the minotaurs uncertainly, horn glowing at the ready.

And then Jorge heard possibly the last thing he expected to hear at that moment:

Laughter.

All eyes turned to the insectoid creature at the end of the table, who cackled madly. The sound made Jorge’s skin crawl, and he suddenly understood why everyone had chosen to sit away from her. At least, it sounded like a ‘her.’

“Oh that was impressive,” she said, regaining her breath. “Particularly considering that he finds you as threatening as a foal, Iron Fist. I suppose that’s one thing we have in common.”

“Silence, changeling,” fumed Steel.

The ‘changeling’ grinned. “He is telling the truth, by the way. So I don’t believe your gods will have much of a problem with him. I’m sure this must come as quite a disappointment.”

Steel glanced between the changeling and Jorge. “You had better not be jesting, changeling.”

“I assure you as entertaining as it would be to watch you try to murder him, I am being truthful. As is he.”

“You can taste this?” asked Luna with thinly veiled suspicion.

The changeling nodded. “It’s as bitter as his current hate for the minotaur.”

“And you are?” asked Jorge, trying to make out what everyone was talking about.

“How rude of me. I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of the changelings.”

Cadence scoffed. “Do you have a question, or are you simply planning on feeding off him?” she snapped venomously.

The changeling’s eyes glinted mischievously. “Are we still sore about our little tiff, Princess? I am so sorry you feel that way. If it’s any consolation, your husband was not as easy to manipulate as I thought it would be. But when I did, it was quite worth the effort,” she purred, poison oozing from every syllable.

Cadence snapped up, wings flared and horn crackling dangerously. Celestia covered her with a wing and shook her head. The pink alicorn grit her teeth and sat back down, glaring toxically at the Queen. The rest of the rulers all stiffened angrily, but the Queen easily ignored them.

“But now that you mention, I do have something I’d like to ask the human.” She turned her attention back to Jorge. “Tell me, human. Had the minotaur struck a blow, would you have been willing to killed him?”

Unlike most of the rulers in the room, Jorge didn’t flinch. His scowl didn’t falter as he remained silent.

Chrysalis’ lips curled upward into a Cheshire smile. “That’s what I thought.” She sat back down, seemingly satisfied.

Jorge was still staring at the changeling Queen when Celestia cleared her throat and suggested the questions continue.

“I have an inquiry to discuss,” spoke up Zulla, the leader of the Zebra’s. “Tell me human, does your species know of us?”

“In a sense.”

“It would ease my curiosity’s pain, if you cared to explain.”

Jorge blinked. Is she rhyming on purpose? “Are you rhyming on purpose?”

“Never mind about the rhyming. Our accent is one of timing.”

That’s one hell of an accent. “What I mean is, we have vague ideas of your existence through our myths and legends, but we don’t know that you exist.”

“The celestial and gentle Sultan Almali demands to know what you mean by myths and legends.”

“You’re all fictional; creatures from lore that one of our more influential civilizations made up thousands of years ago. Like how humans are a part of your stories, it works both ways I guess.”

This caused some mild surprised among the delegates.

“How is this possible, Auntie?” asked Cadence. “There’s no way it can be merely a coincidence.”

“I’m not sure,” admitted the Princess. “Perhaps something to do with magical frequency linking our worlds.”

“I really doubt that, considering there’s no magic where I come from.”

This caused some fierce surprise among the delegates.

“No magic? What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Aile.

“It means there’s no magic,” repeated Jorge. “Again, just a myth.”

“That can’t be possible,” said Cadence. “Every living creature poses magic in some form or another.”

“Well we do not.”

“Half-dead, abominations,” sneered Iron Fist. “What else but a creature from Kingdom of the Dead have no magic?”

Jorge scowled. “Go back to your labyrinth.”

“It’s true,” said Celestia hastily, before the Minotaur could retort. “While Jorge is affected by magic, as far as we can tell he cannot manipulate it in any way.”

The delegates seemed to to take Celestia at her word, although they were still trying to wrap their heads around the idea of a magic-less world.

The rest of the meeting went by without much of a hitch. It actually reminded Jorge of a standard debriefing he would go through after missions. The delegates would ask him simple questions about him and his culture. When the line of inquiry skirted dangerously near the topic of human military prowess, he was quick to quash it with the typical yet oh so infuriating ‘that’s classified.’ Even Iron Fist managed to throw in a question or two in a tone other than suppressed fury, although he failed to cease his endless brooding.

As smooth as the proceedings went, Jorge’s eyes never strayed too far from the Changeling Queen, who maintained a silent grin throughout.

Finally, once all the delegates were satisfied, Celestia formally introduced Jorge and his race to their world, much to the grudging approval of a few, and the deliberations were declared concluded.

Jorge left the room alongside Cadence. Cloud and Midnight led him through the halls to a foyer, where a familiar group of ponies were waiting for him.

“Look, there they are!” shouted Pinkie happily, interrupting an intense tic-tac-toe game between her and Rarity.

“Have you all been waiting for me this whole time?”

“Why of course, darling. This is the whole reason we’re here after all.”

“How was it?” asked Applejack.

Jorge shrugged. “It was… anticlimactic. Boring, actually.” Almost wished I punched that damn minotaur just to make things more exciting.

“You expected a political deliberation to be thrilling?” asked Cadence.

Jorge rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, when those involved are mythological aliens, yes. I suppose politics is something universally dull.”

“Couldn’t agree more.”

Jorge turned around to find Chrysalis standing at the entrance to the room, wearing the same smirk.

Everypony present immediately tensed, and Jorge’s two guards put themselves between him and the changeling.

“You!” snarled Twilight, charging her horn along with Rarity and Cadence. Applejack shifted her hooves as if she was preparing to charge, and Pinkie Pie growled as she aimed a colorful cannon at the Queen. Fluttershy just squeaked and hid behind one of Jorge’s legs and quivered.

“Hello, Twilight. Long time no see.”

“Not long enough,” spat the unicorn.

“What are you doing here, Chrysalis?” asked Cadence. “The meeting is over, you can run back to whatever pit you crawled out of.”

Chrysalis’ smirk didn’t falter. “Sorry about that comment about your husband, Cady.” Cadence flinched at the word. “I’ll be the first to admit that it was a tad uncalled for. However, I’m not only here to apologize. I was actually hoping to have a word with your large friend. In private.”

Cadence looked surprise. “Why?”

“That’s his concern, not yours.”

The mares shook their heads at Jorge; even Pinkie Pie sounded like she was growling in anger at Chrysalis. He looked back at the Queen, who waited patiently.

“Alright,” he answered, slowly. “Ten minutes.”

“I only need five,” assured the Queen, heading out into the hall. Jorge waved Cloud and Midnight down, and followed until he found himself in a secluded hallway, away from prying eyes.

“Alright, what do you want from me?”

The changeling turned around and shrugged. “Truthfully, I was hoping to manipulate you for my own personal gain, but it’s quickly become clear that’s not going to be possible. That bitch Celestia put so many wards here my magic is all but useless. Besides, you like these ponies too much for that anyways.”

Jorge squeezed his fist so hard his knuckles whitened. “Is this a joke?”

“Hardly,” laughed the changeling, he voice like nails on chalkboard. “I can taste it.”

“Taste it?”

“M’hmm,” she purred. “Changelings have the innate ability to sense and literally taste emotions. Positive emotions, such as love and joy, are a natural stimulant for us.”

“So you’re saying you can taste my emotions?”

“Correct.”

“Bullshit,” spat Jorge immediately.

The changeling smirked. “I didn’t expect you to believe me. Especially when you explained there was no magic in your world.”

“Okay, so you can 'taste' my emotions, so what?”

Chrysalis began circling the human like a predator. “You are the most interesting creature I’ve ever savored. Such a mixture of anger; it practically oozes out of you. You have more raw emotion than any of these ponies. Rage, frustration…pain.” The last word slivered out of her tongue like a vice. “I cannot possibly imagine what you must have gone through to have of it, but I can taste it. I know everything about you, Jorge. I can taste how afraid you are. How weak you feel.” She brought her lips close to the human’s ear. “And it tastes delicious.”

Jorge’s hand whipped out and tightened around the changeling’s neck. She gasped and flailed against his hand helplessly, but the human just tightened his grip. He jerked the changeling off the ground and brought her face-to-face. “You don’t know anything about me,” he seethed before dropping her.

The changeling coughed and tried to regain her breath. Jorge looked down at his hand to see it covered in blood, cut from the Queen’s chitin.

“It’s been five minutes,” growled Jorge before turning around and heading back.

“Wait!” coughed Chrysalis, causing Jorge to stop. “The I need to tell you something.”

“I’ve heard enough.”

“You’d be remiss not to listen.” Something in the changeling’s voice caused the human to stop in his tracks. Chrysalis took it as a sign to proceed. “Iron Fist, he doesn’t like you.”

“Really? What was your first clue, the fact that he tried to fight me in the middle of a political meeting or his sunny disposition?”

“He doesn’t like you,” repeated the Queen, ignoring Jorge’s jibe. “But he’s not the one you should worry about. The one-horned one. He’s dangerous.” The changeling queen shuddered. “I tasted nothing from him…just…cold, like drinking water. There’s something wrong with him.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You’re the most interesting thing to occur here in centuries. I’d hate to see something happen to you,” the Queen smiled baring her teeth. “And like I said, your emotions are sublime.” With that, the changeling left the human to mull over what she had said.

Crazy bug, he thought before returning to the foyer where he had left the others. They were quick to pounce him the moment he walked through the door.

“What happened!?”
“What did that ghastly witch want!?”
“Was it scary?”
“You okay, Jorgie?”

“Quiet!” bellowed Jorge, silencing them. “I’m fine, everything’s fine. Calm down.”

Rarity gasped. “Your hand!”

Jorge looked to see his palm still oozing out blood, staining the cuffs of his new shirt.

Lyra barreled through the crowd gathered around Jorge, sending Princesses and guards alike tumbling to the ground. “What!? What happened to his han—!?” The unicorn froze when she saw his bloodied fingers. “W-wha…?” was all she managed to giber.

“Did she do that to you?” demanded Cadence furiously.

“No, I—.”

“I’ll kill her!” screeched Lyra, eyes blazing with furry. She rushed off down the hall, horn sparkling menacingly and mouth frothing with bloodlust…

…at least, she would have had Jorge not quickly grabbed onto her tail and tugged her back.

“Lyra, stopped acting silly,” he chided calmly. “Chrysalis didn’t attack me or anything.”

“Well then what happened?” asked Cadence.

“That’s not important,” said Jorge rather uncomfortably, embarrassed he lost his temper. “It’s nothing.”

“Jorge, of ‘course this is important!” exclaimed Applejack. “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing.” Try getting shot point blank by a concussion rifle. Now that hurt.

“It’s not nothin’, now tell us what happened.”

Jorge rubbed his nape awkwardly. “She… upset me, so I choked her and her skin cut me.”

Silence.

To say that the mares were left nonplused would be a gross understatement; but in all fairness, it was the most bizarre sounding thing he had done in over an hour.

After some time of gawking and trying to process what she had heard, Cadence cleared her throat and nodded. “Well done,” she said, her tone formal.

Now it was Jorge’s turn to look confused, but before he could say anything, he felt a gentle prod on his leg.

“Um… may I look at your hand?” whispered Fluttershy. “I mean… if you’re okay with it.”

“Sure.”

The pegasus beamed, and she began prodding the wound with surprising gentleness. “It doesn’t look too deep.” She frowned. “But if we don’t get it treated soon it could get infected. ”I have some bandages in my room.”

“Sounds good.”

“Oooh, and afterwards we simply must show you around the city,” said Rarity.

Jorge frowned. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? A riot is the last thing I need.”

“Don’t worry, as long as I’m with you there shouldn’t be a problem,” assured Cadence.

Jorge thought about it for a moment, before nodding. “Fine, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

The Spartan’s features became resolute.

“I want my armor.”

---

“The entire city?”

“Yup, pretty much. It was a mess, but fortunately nopony was seriously injured.”

“But I don’t get it, how did you manage to drive them away?”

“Cadence and Shining used their love to create a massive spell to drive them all away.”

Jorge, Cadence, the six Elements, Lyra, and the two Eclipse guards were making their way down the main street in Canterlot’s commercial district, earning a fair share of odd looks as they went. Fortunately, if the Canterlot ponies were shocked and/or horrified by the sight of Jorge (which, considering the number of popped monocles and dramatic gasps, was almost certain), they carried themselves with all the poise Jorge expected of pompous socialites. I.e., not outright screaming and grabbing the nearest pitchforks, but still hastily crossing to the other side of the street when they approached.

Still, it was a monstrous improvement over Ponyville’s initial reaction to him, so he was thankful for that much at least.

“Wait a minute,” interrupted Jorge as he and the group of mares walked down one of the city’s many cobbled streets. “Did you say love?”

“Yeah, why?” asked Twilight, confused at Jorge’s disbelieving grin.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Excuse me?”

“My sense of disbelief has taken quite a bashing since I’ve gotten here. Talking hor— ponies, griffins, dragons, magic… all that I can process. But do you really expect me to believe that your brother and sister-in-law managed to drive off an entire army using the power of love?”

“It’s true,” drawled Applejack. “We were all there. We saw it happen.”

Jorge just snorted and shook his head.

“What about it is so hard to believe?” asked Twilight, annoyed. “Magical energy can take the shape of intense emotion, so it’s scientifically sound.”

“The fact that you used the word ‘scientifically’ in that phrase offends me.” He looked at some of the pedestrians gawking at him and mumbled. “Besides, life just isn’t that easy.”

“Come on guys!” called out Lyra excitedly from ahead. “Hurry up.” She rushed into a store alongside Cadence and the group followed.

The shop was an absolute mess. Nick-knacks lined the walls and filled overflowing barrels and boxes. The floor was covered in amulets and décor for sale that were so tacky they made the royal carriage look chic. Light reluctantly creaked in through boarded up windows, as if it was afraid of the dark, and Jorge reckoned that the air was ninety percent dust.

So it was, in essence, your standard shady antique store.

“Who designated Lyra leader?” deadpanned Jorge.

“Hey, how was I supposed to know this place was going to suck!?”

“The boarded up windows and the fact it was down a deserted alley were pretty obvious red flags to me,” answered the human, glancing at his motion tracker.

“I concur,” whined Rarity, desperately trying not to touch anything that would sully her coat, which was pretty much everything. “This place is absolutely horrid.”

“Actually, I picked it,” explained Cadence, staring fondly at some of the wind chimes hanging next to the counter.

Rarity paled and laughed nervously. “Uh…what I meant was…uh…horridly lovely!”

“Smooth,” whispered Applejack, earning a quick glare from the unicorn.

“Yes, smooth.”

Everyone jumped in surprise, and Fluttershy rushed behind Jorge’s legs for shelter as they turned their attention to a grey stallion with a long, oriental-looking ponytail who now stood behind the counter. He gave Rarity an annoyed glance.

“My shop has been described many things, but I must say that ‘horrifically lovely’ is definitely the most… colorful compliment it’s gotten.

“Bric!” greeted Cadence, nuzzling the old earth pony.

“It’s good to see you again, Cady,” he smiled.

“Guys, this is Bric- à-Brac. He’s an old family friend.”

“Yes, Cadence used to spend her days in my store breaking my merchandise.”

“That only happened once!”

“A week,” quipped Bric.

Cadence pouted playfully, causing Bric to chuckle. His eyes wandered to Jorge, and quickly lit up. “My, the famed human from the news. What an honor.”

“Honor?” asked Jorge, his voice tinged with skepticism.

The stallion nodded. “But of course. I deal with antiquities and rarities from far off lands. And you, sir, are currently the rarest and farthest travelled article on the face of the planet. Tell me, have you ever considered going into the antiquity business?”

“No selling my guests, Bric,” chided Cadence with a roll of her eyes.

“Drat, very well. Feel free to enjoy my store.” The bespectacled stallion masked his face with a hoof and began talking in a deep, mysterious voice. “But be warned. The artifacts in my possession are not to be trifled with! They are mystical items of such magical power and mystery, that their mere presence may shear the constitution of mere mortals!”

Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Jorge.

Cadence rolled her eyes again. “And no scamming them either.”

Bric dropped his façade and gave her an annoyed smile. “Fine. But only for you Cadence.”

“C’mon Jorge, I wanna see the lyres!” Lyra tugged at Jorge with his magic while the rest dispersed and browsed the store’s multitude of knick-knacks.

“What do you think of this one?”

“I don’t know, Lyra. I’m a soldier, not a lyre expert.”

“I’m taking it!”

“Don’t you want to at least look at the others? Maybe find something cheaper?”

“Oh come on, how bad could it b—” Upon seeing the five-hundred bit price tag, unicorn’s eyes rolled back into her head.

“Ah yes,” slithered Bric out of know where, making Jorge jump. “That lyre belonged to the great pirate Cloven Hoof, scourge of the Western seas. Why, this three-thousand year old artifact is probably worth thousands of bits.”

“Really?” gasped Lyra.

Bric nodded morbidly. “Yes. Selling it at such a low price will probably make me go hungry for a few days, but it’ll be worth seeing such a pretty face as yours smile.”

Lyra blushed and grinned bashfully. Jorge rolled his eyes.

“Bric, I said no scamming!” cried Cadence, who was eyeing the astronomy equipment with Twilight.

Bric sighed. “That mare… fine, the things actually five bits. You want it or not?”

“Five bits!? But what about the whole empress pirate thing?”

“I may have…enhanced the truth a bit.”

Lyra couldn’t believe her ears. “You lied to me!?”

“Not about the pretty face though,” flirted Bric with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“You lied to me!”

Jorge shook his head and wandered from the two arguing ponies. He browsed the strange objects hanging from the walls with skeptical curiosity, occasionally picking something up and toying with it briefly. Jorge reeled back as he walked face-first into one of them without realizing.

It was a willow ring that was hanging from the ceiling. A multi-colored web of thread weaved its way in the center of the ring, while feathers hung lazily from it like soft wind-chimes. Careful not to break it, Jorge strummed the threads playfully.

“Ah, I see you fancy my dream-catcher.”

Jorge jumped again as a grinning Bric appeared at his side from out of nowhere. How the hell…?

“Yes, an ancient buffalo artifact,” continued Bric. “Full of mysterious magical properties.

“I thought you weren’t supposed to scam us.”

Bric shook his head. “This is no scam. Believe it or not, I do occasionally stumble upon the odd magical McGuffin, like this dream catcher. And it can be yours for only fifty bits.”

“No thanks.”

Bric sputtered. “You’d turn down a magical object for fifty bit!? Human, to anypony else I’d charge hundreds, nay, thousands of bits.”

“I don’t believe in magic,” answered Jorge cheekily. Bric looked at him like he had gone mad.

“You should get something, Jorge,” said Cadence. “Here, let me get it for you at. Consider it a gift.”

“I already got a gift today.”

“You can get more than one gift a day,” laughed the Princess.

“Why would I even need this thing?”

“Jorge, I’m buying it for you. So you can either accept that or I can hang it in your room myself.”

“Fine,” grumbled the human.

“Great, I’ll—”

“Just make sure not to wake me when you hang it up.”

Cadence glared at the human before sighing and pulling out her coin purse.

Bric looked between the human and alicorn. “So…will you be buying it?”

“Yes,” answered Cadence.

“Excellent! Two-hundred bits.”

“What!? But you just said it was fifty.”

Bric nodded sagely. “Yes, for the human. For you, two-hundred bit.”

Cadence’s eye twitched along with her frazzled fur. She handed the vendor two hundred bit roughly and grumbled. “You know, this is why you don’t have other friends.”

“Duly noted,” he grinned, counting the bits. “Will that be all?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here before you swindle us out of more money.”

After they made their purchases, the group said their goodbyes to Bric and walked out of the antique shop satisfied. The sun was still an hour away from its parley with the horizon, and the streets were as crowded as ever.

“Alight, what do you want to do now?” asked Twilight, fiddling with her new telescope.

“We could go down to the fountains,” offered Cadence. “They’re quite lovely at sunset.”

“Oh, I haven’t seen sunset at the fountains since I was a filly,” said the lavender unicorn excitedly.

Jorge cleared his throat. “I think I’m going to head back to the castle.”

“Come on Jorgie, it’ll be fun!”

“No thank you, Pinkie. This was nice, but I’d rather just return.”

“But… I wanna see the fountains…” whined Twilight, earning an eye roll from her former babysitter.

“You can go ahead, I’ll go back on my own.”

“How’ll you find your way back?” challenged Cadence.

Cloud Skipper stepped forward. “Paladin Midnight Blossom and I will escort him, your Majesty.”

The Princess pursed her lips in reluctance, but eventually nodded. “Very well.”

“Ooh, I’ll head back with you!” offered Lyra excitedly.

Well, there goes any thoughts of having a quiet trip back, sighed Jorge mentally.

The group said their goodbyes and parted ways, Lyra excitedly chatting about the lyre she had purchased in the antique store as Cloud led them back. However, not five minutes had passed that they rounded a corner and came before a large mass of ponies blocking the main avenue.

“This wasn’t here before,” said Jorge, staring at the massive crowd of locals wandering the streets.

Cloud Skipper scowled. “I forgot about the weekly night market.”

“It’s Friday already!?” gasped Midnight Blossom excitedly. “Can we go, Cloud? It’ll be so much fun!”

“No.”

“Want to at least ask the guy we’re supposed to be leading?”

“Yeah,” said Lyra. “Let’s go, Jorge.”

“No.”

Lyra and Midnight both pouted. “You guys are no fun,” they complained in unison.

Jorge looked unto the crowded street and frowned. Stalls and stands clogged the streets much in the same manner as the Ponyville market, making it a slog for even the smallest of ponies to pass through. “It’ll take us a while to get through this.”

“Come, we’ll just take a detour,” said the stallion, pointing down one of the narrower side streets. Jorge, Lyra, and the two guards made their way down the darkened alley. The white, stone avenue gave way to sullied, cobbled streets as the group made their way deeper into the labyrinth of narrow alleys. Distorted buildings with faded paint rose and closed around them as the din of the market faded, leaving only the muffled sounds of water dripping.

“I’m surprised this city has places like this, considering how meticulous it looks,” observed Jorge, looking at the almost slum-like street.

“This is part of old Canterlot,” explained Cloud. “After Nightmare Moon’s banishment, thousands of residents from the old capital in the Everfree were left destitute. Many followed Celestia to Canterlot, and with so many new residents suddenly appearing literally overnight, these old neighborhoods sprang up to house the refugees.”

“Yeah, most of the ghettos were refurbished centuries ago,” said Midnight. “But you still have a few that everypony just forgot about running up and down the city. They’re great for getting around.”

“Or for getting mugged,” grumbled Jorge.

Up and down, left and right they went, turning corners and walking through identical alley after identical alley until Jorge longed for the maze of Canterlot. At one point, the dilapidated walls closed in so narrowly Jorge could have sworn he was back in the servants’ tunnels.

Cloud stopped in the middle of a particularly decayed alleyway and looked around nervously. “Dammit,” he muttered under his breath.

“What?” asked the human.

“We’re lost.”

“Don’t you mean you’re lost?”

“No, I’m pretty lost too,” said Midnight, casually sniffing the dank air.

Jorge sighed. Why isn’t anything ever easy? “Great, so now we’re lost in the middle of the last place anyone would want to be caught out at night in, and the sun’s setting. Any suggestions?”

“Why do you say that?” asked Cloud, an eyebrow rising curiously.

Jorge gestured all around him. “Dark slums aren’t exactly the place to inspire confidence in one’s own safety.”

The stallion snorted. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is Canterlot, nopony would dare hurt us.”

“Oh, ah wouldn’t be so sure.”

Everyone’s eyes snapped up to the mouth of the alley ahead of them, where a dark figure stood. The pony stepped from the shadows to reveal a familiar orange earth-pony.

“Well hooowwwdy, y’all!” he greeted.

“Stout,” spat Cloud through gritted teeth. “What are you doing here?”

“What, can’t a guy just come ‘round say hi to his favorite traitors?” He flashed a lewd grin to Midnight. “Well howdy there, darlin’. Ah am just pleased as punch to see you here.” His voice became low and dangerous. “Ah never got to…thank you for playin’ with my fun bits this mornin’.”

Lyra gaped at Midnight. “You did what!?”

“It’s not what you think. I just held a knife up to his sack and almost snipped it off.”

“Oh okay— wait, YOU DID WHAT!?”

The bat pony ignored the shocked lyrist and glared Stout Shield sourly. “No thanks necessary. Now, if you’ll just let us through, I won’t have to give you sloppy seconds.” As she said this, the claws on her hoofs crackled with energy.

“No can do, darlin’” tisked the brutish stallion. “You see, ah can’t in good conscience let that you and the ape out uh here in one piece.”

Are you really suggesting you’re going to attack two officers of the Eclipse guard and a royal guest?”

“You know why nopony likes you, Cloud? Cuz you got about eighty kinds of sticks up your ass. But sticks or not, you are purty smart.”

Cloud’s eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. “Have you gone insane!?”

The stallion’s smile withered into a poisonous scowl. “No,” he snarled. “And ah’m purty sure ah’m the only one here who isn’t.”

“Not to point out the stupidly obvious,” deadpanned Midnight. “But it’s you against two Eclipse guards and a giant alien. The odds aren’t exactly in your favor.”

“Ah beg to differ.” Stout Shield brought a hoof to his lips and let out a shrill whistle. Over two dozen ponies slithered out of the shadows behind Stout, each eyeing the human hungrily. Jorge checked his motion sensor and noticed a cluster of dots appear behind them, cutting off their only means of escape.

“Yup, turns out y’all ain’t the most popular hens in the coop.”

“We have a civilian with us,” said Cloud, pointing to a frightened Lyra. “Are you seriously telling me you’re willing to let her get hurt to get to us?”

“Collateral damage,” said Stout coldly.

Jorge felt Lyra shiver against his legs. “J-Jorge?”

He looked down at the unicorn and felt anger shoot through him. “Stay close.”

“You can’t do this,” insisted Cloud. “You’re royal guards for Celestia’s sake! You can all be tried for treason for this.”

This caused the ponies to hesitate and mumble to themselves.

“Treason? You’re the only traitors here!” snarled Stout Shield. “This thang, this freak attacked and nearly killed our Princess, and you’re here givin’ it a fuckin’ tour of the city! We’re doin’ our duty. It’s in our oath: ‘To protect…’”

‘“…And obey,” finished Cloud. “If you do this, you’d be disobeying an order of Celestia herself.”

“It’s for her own good.” And with that the ponies on both sides began encircling the group, stepping forward and pawing the ground anxiously.

“Dammit,” muttered Cloud under his breath. “So much for making them see reason. They must really hate you.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” waved Midnight flippantly. “Can we kill them now?”

“No.”

“Why not?” whined Midnight.

The stallion rolled his eyes. “We can’t kill them, Midnight. But we can hurt them.” He stepped forward and scowled at Stout Shield. “…badly.”

With that, he pulled out the stubby little knife at his side. The guard tapped it lightly, pressing a hidden button at the bottom of the hilt. With a loud click, the shaft expanded until the laughably small weapon became an elongated and very menacing-looking spear. Twirling it expertly, Cloud snapped it towards the oncoming ponies with a grim expression. The silver spear crackled with energy, and soon blue waves of electricity were running up and down the tip, making the assailants hesitate. Midnight took his side and sharpened her electrified claws, her psychotic grin probably deterring more of them than Cloud’s spear ever could.

Okay, that was pretty impressive, thought Jorge, admiring the spear.

“Stay back, Jorge,” ordered the gold paladin. “We’ll handle this.”

The human snorted. “Not a chance.”

“We are your escorts and it’s our duty to pro—” Before he could finish talking, Cloud noticed a blur rush towards him out of the corner of his eyes. He jumped back and parried the flailing limb with his spear, pushing his weight forward and striking the offending stallion in the chest with the butt. Hard.

Jorge heard ribs crack as the pony flew back into a pile of trash cans, his comrades helpless to do little more than watch. There was a pregnant pause, and then over a dozen ponies were upon them.

The Spartan’s shield shimmered as legs bucked at him uselessly. He was about to laugh away the paltry attacks, when one of the attacking unicorns charged up a spell and fired a bolt of lightning at him, overcharging his shields and sending a bolt of pain crashing through his body.

Jorge barrelled through the ponies surrounding him, sending them sprawling, and picked up the unicorn by the neck before bringing him down unto the cobbled ground with a sickening crack.

With lightning speed, he struck a second guard, the familiar vibration of breaking bones caressing the Spartan’s fist. Before the pony had so much as a chance to roar in agony, his jaw was met with the human’s knee guard, sending teeth and a spittle of blood into the gutter.

More spells were flung at him, and the smell of burning flesh soon mixed with the flashing warnings on his visor. He identified another group of unicorns standing at the mouth of the alley like a fire squad, firing an unrelenting barrage of magic against his impromptu shield, with bent and twisted under the force of the magic.

Jorge grabbed hold of a nearby trashcan, and with a mighty throw, the super soldier sent it flying towards the magic users, causing it to bounce harmlessly against a force-field they had conjured. But while ineffectual at causing damage, it did provide enough of a distraction for Jorge to barge through the magical wall, literally shattering in a glorious light show. The unicorns, shocked at how quickly their defenses were demolished, tried jumping back to put space between them and the enraged Spartan. But Jorge quickly reached out and gripped two of them by their necks, smashing them against one another before throwing them at their comrades with frightening force.

Meanwhile, Cloud and Midnight were each doing their best trying to fight off half a dozen assailants, Cloud wearing the same grim yet determined frown while Midnight cackled maniacally. A couple of pegasi flapped up and descended unto the pair at breakneck speed.

Midnight noticed this, her pupils contracted with bloodlust, giving her yellow eyes an almost feline expression as an unsettling grin revealed her razor sharp teeth.

“Oh no you don’t.” With a mighty flap of her leathery wings, she shot up towards the approaching air strike. She head-butted the first pegasus, making him gasp in pain, before slicing through his torso with her electrified blades. The stallion convulsed briefly before passing out and plummeting to the ground below, a trail of blood following. With astonishing agility the bat-pony composed herself and swerved around the second pegasus and landed on her back. Midnight grabbed one of the mare’s wings and twisted it. A loud crack echoed through the skies as shattered bone erupted through skin with a spatter of gore, followed by the poor mare’s shrieks of agony as she plummeted with her companion.

“I told you not to kill them,” scowled Cloud as he uppercut an earth pony square in the jaw.

“They’re alive…probably,” muttered Midnight.

Stout Shield gaped at the scene before him; his comrades were falling in droves. Letting out a furious snarl, he charged at the white Eclipse guard.

Cloud’s eyes widened when he saw three-hundred pounds of pure muscle and hatred barreling down on him. He jumped back just in time, forcing the orange guard to pivot and face him head on.

“I’ll kill you and that fuckin’ bitch of yours!” roared Stout, rearing his hooves to strike Cloud.

Cloud dodged the blow a second time, and using his dexterous wings rolled the spear on his back before striking Stout on one of his shoulders. Despite the electricity or the bone-shattering blow, Stout did little more than grunt before swiveling around and bucking Cloud in the chest. The Paladin felt the wind knocked out of him and reared back, but was quick to regain his balance. Numerous enchantments had made his armor nearly impenetrable. Yet the monstrous stallion managed to dent it like it was cardboard.

Stout charged again, leaving Cloud little time to compose himself. Sweat gleamed on his orange coat and his ragged breath tore through the air while he prepared to strike. At the last second, the pegasus slipped out of the way, swept his spear under Stout’s legs, knocking them from under him, and shoved him in his ribs.

Stout collapsed with a loud thud. Before he could get up, Cloud twirled his spear in his wings and brought it down on the brutish guard’s head with frightening force. Stout shield let out a final moan before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed, his legs twitching.

“Jorge, are you o… kay?” Cloud trailed off when he saw the pile of ponies stacked around the Jorge, who was casually watching a pair of guards feeling from him in abject terror, tails between their legs.

“Pardon?” he asked.

The Paladin gaped at the sight. The human had taken down at least three times as many enemies as he and Midnight had. “Nevermind,” he grumbled.

Midnight landed beside him and whooped. “That was fun! Can we do it again?”

“No.”

“Awww…”

Lyra cracked an eye open. “Is it over?” She hadn’t moved an inch the entire fight and miraculously remained unscathed.

Jorge knelt down and smiled reassuringly. “Yeah, it’s over.”

The pony offered a weak smile and return. One of the collapsed guards next to her moaned in pain, causing her to shriek and clobber him on the head with the antique lyre, knocking him out instantly.

“I think he’s already taken care of.”

Lyra blushed and glared at Jorge. “S-s-shut u-up,” she stuttered, still pumping with adrenaline.

Jorge took a moment to examine the scene before him.

Dozens of guards lay unconscious in the alley around them, twitching, moaning, or even bleeding profusely, while he stood among the carnage, having barely broken a sweat.

Olly olly oxen free…

---

There must be something said for the mentality of the military, both human and pony. From marvelously designed battlements cut from the finest marble, to the awesome might of space-faring vessel, the aesthetic purposes of the military is designed to both inspire terror and wonder. And yet, no matter what universe, planet, dimension or species, some agreement must have been made at the cradle of life stating that army offices must be the most soul-shriveling drab places in existence.

Jorge mused this as he sat on the floor outside Shining Armor’s office along with Midnight, Lyra, and the rest of the Elements of Harmony.

Shortly after having beaten the utter stuffing out of all the guards, Cloud ordered Midnight to fly to the castle to report what happened; guards were quick to arrive, and the group was escorted back to the Castle along with the semi-conscious ponies. They were greeted by the Princess and Prince Shining, who demanded an explanation and led everyone to his former office.

Now Jorge and the girls were waiting outside in the blandest waiting room in existence, waiting for Cloud and Midnight to finish with the Princesses inside.

“So let me get this straight, you took on a dozen royal guards unarmed and came out unscathed?” asked Twilight.

“Now you see why I’m reluctant to take off this armor,” deadpanned Jorge, waiting as Fluttershy changed the bandages on his hand.

Twilight shook her head. “That’s insane.”

“There. It’s not too tight is it?” asked Fluttershy.

Jorge flexed his hands experimentally and smiled. “It’s perfect.”

“I’m just so glad those brutes didn’t hurt you,” said Rarity, fanning herself.

“Darn tootin’. If ah saw one uh them varmints ah’d buck ‘em so hard…”

“Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, Applejack,” said Jorge. “But I don’t think the gesture is very necessary at this point.”

The door to the office opened, and everyone’s heads perked up. A bruised and battered Stout Shield was led out by a pair of guards, the orange earth pony screaming his head off.

“Y’all can’t do this! Ah was the only one protectin’ the Princesses from this fuckin’ thang!” The guards at his side roughly pushed him forward. “Yer all traitors! It’s a Celestia-damned human for Tartatus’ sake!”

The hysterical pony was forced down the hall, but stopped next to Jorge.

“This ain’t over,” he seethed into the human’s face. “Ya hear me? Ah don’t care what they say, ah’ll always be a guard, and ah’ll make sure you fuckin’ pay fer what you did to the Princess.”

“Shut up,” ordered one of the armored ponies before shoving him down. The pony remained silent until he disappeared from view.

The girls looked very perturbed. Jorge slightly less so.

“Well, that was interesting.”

“How you can be so calm is beyond me,” shivered Rarity. “What an awful, foul-mouthed pony.”

Jorge shrugged. “What’s he going to do? I’m twice his size.”

“Yeah, and Jorgie’s not gonna take any sass from nopony!”

That caused the Spartan to grin. “Exactly right, Pinkie.”

Midnight popped her head through the doorway. “Princesses want to see you now, Jorge.”

The human got up and walked into the room. Unsurprisingly, it was far more elegant that the room outside. Shining sat behind a grand oak desk, a somber expression etching his features. The three Princesses, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence stood beside him, while on the other side was a stallion Jorge didn’t recognize. Jorge took his place in front of the desk, next to Cloud and Midnight.

“My sister and I would like to formally apologize to you, Jorge,” said Celestia, forgoing a greeting.

One of the Spartan’s eyebrows rose.

“We assured your security for the duration of your stay here, and we’ve failed to keep this promise. We beg your forgiveness.” Celestia and her sister hung their heads, earning surprised looks from Shining and the Paladins.

Jorge was momentarily taken aback by such a display of humility. It was short-lived. “I would have thought you would have been able to keep a handle on your own soldiers,” he said distastefully.

At this, the Princess’ frown deepened. “My guards are quite devoted to my sister and I. Sometimes this can become… extreme. However, this is the first time they’ve ever disobeyed my orders so flagrantly and violently.”

“What happened to them, by the way?”

“I have dishonorably discharged them and have ordered they be expelled and banned from the Castle,” explained Shining sharply. This earned an annoyed cough from the stallion at his side, causing him to blush slightly. “I’m sorry, what I meant to say was Commander Prescience has dishonorably discharged them.”

“Aye, with extreme prejudice,” said the stallion in what Jorge swore was a Scottish accent. “And ah woulda court marshaled the bastards too if mister la-di-da the prince over here woulda let me.”

“Excuse me, and you are?”

The strange stallion snapped to attention. He was elderly, that match was clear. White patches of hair littered his black coat, and he wore a scruffy grey beard that, like his silver mane, looked like it hadn’t been kept in centuries. Probably the most glaring feature though was his right eye, which was white and completely blind, a scar running through it from his forehead down to his cheek.

“Commander Stramash Prescience, retired captain of Her Majesty’s royal guard. Or at least ah was retired, ‘til this bloody bampot decided the life of a soldier wasn’t good enough for ‘im, and he had tae go become a prince, forcin’ me back. You lot can call me Commander Percy for short.”

“Commander Percy was captain of the Royal Guard until I replaced him,” explained Shining.

“Aye, and ah was supposed tah stay replaced, ya cuddie sod! And now you come back and want yer office again. Make up yer damn mind! Ma auld bones cannae cope wi' all this shufflin aboot. Which reminds me.” The elderly stallion lashed out, striking Shining against the head, hard. “Ah never said you could call me Percy, boy!”

Shining rubbed his head and grumbled. “It’s nice seeing you again too, sir.”

Percy hit him again. “Nopony likes a smart-ass, ya wee beebag.”

“The point being,” said Luna, trying to get the conversation back on course. “That we deem it is no longer safe for you to remain in Canterlot. You and the Elements shall be escorted to the train station and return to Ponyville at first light. Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom shall be accompanying you to the village.”

Jorge groaned. “Do I really need these two?”

Midnight wrinkled her nose indignantly. “Hey, if it wasn’t for us you’d be a stain in an alleyway right now!”

It took Jorge all his willpower not to laugh out loud. “I hardly doubt that.”

“We understand your annoyance, Jorge,” said Luna. “But it would make us more comfortable.”

“Fine,” sighed Jorge.

“Now let us all get some sleep,” said Celestia, her voice weary. “It has been a long day.”

The two Alicorns and the old Guard left. As the elderly stallion passed Jorge, he nudged the human’s leg.

“Nice work by the way, laddie. From what these two told me I wouldn’t want to get on yer bad side,” he laughed before following the Princesses.

Jorge was about to join them, when he heard a loud, attention-grabbing cough from behind.

“Jorge,” began Shining, his voice vibrating with military authority. “I know it is not my responsibility, but regardless, I would also like to apologize for the offence. I hope it won’t damper your opinions about our race.”

“And?” drawled Cadence.

Shining grit his teeth, and raised his head in refusal. Cadence elbowed him roughly in the ribs and she gave him a look that seemed to suggest if he didn’t do what she wanted there would be severe consequences to be had. The Prince flushed again and bowed his head in defeat.

“And I am sorry for my conduct to you since your arrival. It was… uncalled for.”

‘Yes, you were indeed an ass,’ is what Jorge wanted to say. But feeling that the last thing he needed was making more enemies, Jorge simply nodded and headed out.

The girls were still waiting outside, yawning and having trouble staying awake. But they immediately perked up when they saw him.

“So I suppose you heard we’re heading out tomorrow.”

Twilight nodded. “The Princess just told me.”

“What a shame,” complained Rarity. “There were so many shops to show you. You must be devastated.”

“I’ll live.”

“What now?” asked Applejack.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m heading to bed.

---

The sun had long since set over the horizon, paving the way for inky blackness to gently glide through the streets of the shining city. Small pockets of light shun the dark’s soft caress, but these pits were few and far between. Havens for obsessive scholars, sleepless housewives, or young ponies out to cause trouble and savor their youth for as long as time permitted them. But despite these sanctuaries of stubborn light, night had reclaimed its control over the sleepy city, with nothing but the silver glow of the moon and stars to guide travellers across the almost spectral plain.

This was Luna’s domain.

She glided through the sky, breathing deeply of the cool summer air. Her body was translucent and tattooed with the ephemeral etchings of her stars. Or, rather, body perhaps was not the right word for it. Neither spirit, although it was a closer approximation. Rather it was an essence, a waking dream that flew through the black clouds.

Luna sighed contently. We never tire of this.

She glided down over rooftops of Canterlot, and soon dark wisps of mist began rising from the windows. Almost like water flowing up into the sky, reflecting the canopy of stars above them.

Dreams of her little ponies.

For there were many things she missed during her banishment, but none caused a greater yearning than to frolic in the dreams of her citizens.

Luna flew through the rising auras composing the dreams and inner-most thoughts of her subjects. She took brief peeks into one or another, observing their hidden desires or trying to assuage the nightmares of foals.

For despite the moniker of Nightmare Moon, there was truly nothing more she despised than nightmares. For her, dreams were an escape; a place of rest, of sanctuary, not of torment or further hardship.

And so while her sister guarded over their subjects during the day, Luna had long since taken it upon herself to protect her subjects under the cover of shadows.

After the business with Jorge and the guards, Luna had been left absolutely furious, and so she took to the dreamscape to calm her nerves.

This was exactly what I needed, she thought.

After a few more dreams and circling Canterlot for the last time, Luna headed back to the Castle, where her body was resting. As she flew up the spire to join her physical self and get some much needed rest however, she noticed something peculiar.

A wisp, a dream, flowing from one of the Castle’s windows. It was odd though, in that it wasn’t running fluently like most, but rather jerking wildly, it’s starry makeup blinking in and out of existence.

What in the world? Curiosity getting the better of her, Luna flew down through the window and was surprised when she saw who was in bed.

Jorge, armor absent and with the same stubborn frown as always.

Oh, this is fantastic! she squee’d mentally, her spirit bursting at the seams with curiosity. Her horn lit up as she prepared a spell to enter, when she quickly stopped herself.

No, we mustn’t abuse this gift, she chided herself. We must use it sparingly and with caution. Jorge is not a pony nor one of my subjects, and to invade his mind would be a great breach of privacy.

She turned around to return to her chambers, but looked back at the human over her shoulder.

Although… my sister and I did technically make him a citizen of Equestria. And would just be taking a tiny peek. No harm in that… right?

Her flawed reasoning being good enough for her, Luna’s horn lit up and she charged her spell. Blue tendrils grew from her horn and wrapped around the silvery cloud that was Jorge’s dream. However, instead of the comfortable coolness she normally felt when she merged with somepony’s dream, her muscles locked in place and her tendrils became painfully rigged. Her eyes snapped open and panic coursed through her as her mind was suddenly assaulted by Jorge’s emotions. Fear, agony, and raw fury battered her mind as her consciousness melded with his. The Princes desperately tried to sever the connection, but she was trapped; held like the dream had sunk its claws into her flesh and refused to yield.

That’s when she saw it. The dream-catcher spinning lazily over Jorge’s bed. Her eyes widened and realization dawned and her.

Then, she was yanked into the dream.

Forced into whatever nightmare lay ahead.

Author's Note:

Holy crap it's been a looooooong while, hasn't it?
I have a perfectly good reason for this. You see, a few months back, before summer, I had written a full bonus chapter that I was planning to release before heading off on vacation. Unfortunately I decided that it wasn't up to snuff, and scrapped it instead, leaving you guys chapterless. Plus, I recently started college, so my free time has been severely shrinked. Regardless, I think you can expect a shorter wait for the next one.

As always, thank to Professeur Plum and AggroViking for editing, and for Saint coulombe for doing a marvellous jib doing all those pesky French translations

And sorry for taking so damn long

Comments

[Professor Plum]

Apologies for the delay, y'all. Aggro and I were hard-pressed to find time to edit this chapter. But you should still blame Gravity.

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3388708
Douche...

[Professor Plum]

3388713
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3519_small.jpg

[Slip Kid]

*Sees fave has updated*

*Sees it's MIA*

*Sees it's about 25k words* both and . I just can't right now, no matter how much I'd like to.

[Darkswirl]

Stop lying to me, eyes!

[LoneWolf42]

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY FINALY

[Permanganate]

There are enough words for a fifth of a book here! I don't think you need to apologise for anything.

[Dredgen]

Haven't read a single word, but i know it's gonna be good since it has Jorge in it.

It sucked when he died in Reach.

[Keatosimo]

OOOOH THAT CHAPTER LENGTH.

[Mogss]

Is it gentle if I said: You already have 2000 likes.

[KitsuneNoYomeiri]

You're #8, 17, 18, 24, and 31 should be Your.

[SpartanPony45]

If there's one thing Luna should prepare herself for, it's the horrors of the Human-Covenant War.

[MuzaWaza]

I have a feeling that Luna will be traumatized while Jorge has to keep his cool before he rips her head off.
Humans in general do not like it when someone breaches our privacy.

[Lyrken]

Didn't you need a special machine to take of Spartan Armor?

[Xaratos]

Cant wait to see how you are going to describe the war raging in his dream :3

[Professor Plum]

3389156
Early MJOLNIR armour required a team of experts to help assemble it, true, but later models were much easier to take on/off

[Phoenix Archangel]

Well, Luna now finds out why Jorge is pissed half the time.

Best of luck, Princess. Your sanity's gonna need it!

[primeoetgrunn]

Well, jumpin' Luna on a pogostick. It's alive.

[jorgen]

NERDGASM!!!!!

[Steve Miner]

3388905 He didn't die, he was sent to Equestria!

[MachoPony]

Wohoo! My nr1 fanfic released a new chap on my birthday!!

[HIEfan]

Pure awsomness as Always.

[The Traveler12]

Oooh, now this is interesting! I've seen plenty of Halo crossovers, but never one with just Jorge, so I'll have to give this one a chance.

[FluffyPanzer]

oh god i cant wait, the ponies actually seeing what his war was. im so giddy

[InsaneBatPony]

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx562b4bjB1r48wqh.gif

[Ragged]

cant wait for the next chapter the ponies will finally know what he has gone through cant wait to hear their reactions if Luna tells them what she sees

[Dr Pancakes]

3389156 The author wrote it earlier in the story, but Jorge has modified his armor so that he can take it off by himself in about 20 minutes. Whether this is canon or not to the HALO universe is beyond me though.

[Dr Pancakes]

Also, very good chapter here. Well worth the wait in my opinoin. Cheers!

[bloodwolf432]

Discharged? Yeah, that'll go over well with them. Should've locked them up, or executed them. Letting them off scot free just gives them another chance to attack Jorge, with even more precautions set in place this time.

[GallantNavy]

Considering the length of this chapter, you have nothing to be sorry for. It ate an hour of my time and I'm happy it did.

It was a cuddly chapter, after all :3

[SembrBrony217]

Holy shit. That was fucking long... Fuck, that took 2 hours to read... Meh it's was worth it!

[SunBurst]

MOAR I NEED MOAR!!!

im kinda curius how luna will hold up in there

[John 117]

HOLY SWEET CHRIST FINALLY JORGE KICKED SOME MUCH NEEDED AND DESERVING ASS! Also...its been awhile...thank you so much for updating...i thought you had abandoned us....

[Stone Cold Steve Buscemi]

Oh god! does Jorge want to go back to Reach if does all he needs is the ruby shoes and to click his heels three times and say " there's no place like home. "

And when Midnight or Midknight can't remember. Saying that Jorge would be a splatter of blood on the pavement just " NO! NONE OF THAT! SHAME ON YOU! "

When the Minotaur was sayings he's evil it would be funny if he said. " if I am truly evil may god strike me down where I stand. " lighting strikes and hits Jorge he's unaffected " Ha! Nice try jackass next time step up your A game! " that would be funny.

[Saint Kelly]

3389273 That is some legit army colors.

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389024
If you remember where they are, please give me the sentence. It make it easier for me to find
Never mind, I got it.
Thank you

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389281
Yup, it was just for you, birthday girl and/or boy!

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389484
If you don't don't like reading red herrings
You're gonna have a bad time here

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389510

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389580
*Gently strokes hair* Shhhh...I'll never abandon you

[Vailen]

I'm guessing Luna is about to see glimpses of the Human/Covenant war and the Fall of Reach

[AnondulusianBrony]

be gentle? YOU MUST BE NEW HERE

Ha just kidding man. from the looks of it, id say your story is doing pretty good, so no need to worry.

[Gravitys Rainboom]

3389732
Why not read until the first page break, then until the next one, and so on and so for?

[bloodwolf432]

3389728 Funny, but in all seriousness did the Princesses honestly not take this into consideration? I know that the least most military would lock up the offenders for a good while. Not just say 'You are no longer part of the military, but you can go wherever you want except this city.' I just find it funny that they would decide, for Jorge's safety, they would send him out of the one city that the ex-guards were not allowed back in. That's like, chasing the foxes out of the hen house, make it very difficult for them to get back in, and then send the chickens outside with no dog to watch and protect them.

Of course, I guess my argument would have some validity if it the person in need of any protection was anyone besides a Spartan II.

[Beyond the Horizon]

. . .

IT LIVES!

Anyway, dis is gewd. I like dis. You shall be spared.

[KitsuneNoYomeiri]

3389689
“You traitors sure got a lotta nerve showin’ you’re faces around here.”
Missed that one.

[QuantumFinish35]

"Woo Hoo!!!" Simpson,Homer

[John 117]

3389733 yay!

[RF and AG]

Honestly, every time you update this I have the need to re-read the entire thing. It's that feeling that you just want the story to be completed so you can read it in one shot. By completed I mean ended when it should end, and by read in one shot I mean read in one shot.

[John 117]

3389736 I'd say you were right on that one...and things are going to get hairy when everypony finally knows how bad it was....