Alright, you got me; I'm not a sandwich. How one of you "enter-web" sleuths was able to deduce this is beyond me, but I suppose it would only be fair to humor you for a moment.

I'm just your friendly neighborhood reader with too much time on their hands. I was reading What Must I Do's masterpiece, "Diaries of a Madman", when I saw that he hadn't posted in two years on Fanfiction.net. Naturally, I was distraught at this revelation; I didn't want to start a story, get extremely invested, and then have it just end on me. I did a little digging-See, I am somewhat of an enter-web sleuth myself- and found a more recent version of Diaries of a Madman on Fimfiction.net. This account was created with the sole purpose of figuring out if Diaries of a Madman was finished (not finished like wrapped up wise but finished like the author was done wise), and now all I can do is wait. Whether or not I believe in God, I certainly won't say no to a miracle. Now let us take a moment of prayer for Diaries of a Madman and its author, God knows they deserved one after the first million words.

Also, I'm sorry to you, the dear reader, who read this. I must sound like Rarity right now. That's what I get for reading "one" too many editions of Jeeves and Wooster. In all seriousness, I'd like to thank you for humoring me with your time. Maybe I'll write a fanfiction, really show up everyone who thought my life wouldn't amount to anything! So two priests and Twilight Sparkle walk into a bar-