I gave you "The Lost Fillies" story a look over. Here's the thing, while you have an interesting idea, the execution isn't very well done. You squeeze to much into a short amount of words. Descriptions of certain things are either lagging or non-existent. The way you include some of these big twists come out of nowhere. You should first gather your ideas together first before writing them out in a spurt, and maybe plan out first. Add a little more body to your writing instead of just giving a skeleton. Sorry if this sounds little cruel.

907258 Why just asking