Hello. This is Cade's brother, Fagshine, speaking. I don't know how to say this but, Cade has passed away. A few hours ago, I bet him five quarters that he could penetrate our parents' wall-mirror by shooting a projectile from his nose.

Cade met his end at a ricocheting high-velocity tiddlywink expelled from his nostril.

Read More

Jesus. I was just watching a porno perfectly appropriate movie when the pizza man put his dick through a sausage pizza. The female actress then declared: "That ain't no sausage!"

Call the fucking NSA guys, Sherlock Holmes is back in town.

-Civics essay due tommorow

-English essay due in two days

-Finals studying

-D.A. final project due in five days

-Final science lab due in three days

-More finals studying

-Final Chinese project overdue

Oh, how I love finals season.

Hello, fellow FIMFicitoners! I sit here, in Digital Art class first period, wondering exactly how anyone who works with a computer has ever gotten any work done. There's just so many distracting websites. But I digress.

So the reason I've been gone for the past few weeks is because I've been working with my but-buddy to produce a YouTube channel for Let's Plays. And of course the first video we did was a commentary of Mount and Blade: Warband.

Read More

Shit.

I have a hipster sitting next to me.

Please explain to him why his counterculture is bad and he should feel bad.

Hello, fellow FIMFictioners! Get high in the hough-house!

As you may know, today is the government-established day for us Americans to mourn all the soldiers that died fighting for causes that (in the last 60 years, at least) were frankly trivial and stupid.

I move that we rename it Fuck Bush Day.

-Cade YYZ

-at mt ex-gf's little sister's Jew Mitzvah
-wearing a three-piece
-spend the entire time sitting at a corner table and downing Shirley Temples
-not even thinking about dancing
-"All Star" comes on
-dance like a fucking beast
-pumped for next song
-Celene Dion
-grab my jacket
-make my exit

[5/10/14 6:00:41 PM] jellyonmyjam: gimme those cheeks
[5/10/14 6:46:50 PM] Cade "Show Me The Carfax" Williams: no
[5/10/14 6:46:53 PM] Cade "Show Me The Carfax" Williams: theyre mine
[5/10/14 6:47:41 PM] jellyonmyjam: lets make them ours <3
[5/10/14 6:47:43 PM] Ryan "The Dank Overlord" Sanders : Fuck Cade
[5/12/14 7:28:18 AM] Cade "Show Me The Carfax" Williams: want to?
[5/12/14 7:42:27 AM] Ryan "The Dank Overlord" Sanders : Cade the meme Williams

Read More

[4/2/14 8:11:15 AM] Cade "The Craque Dealer" Williams:
>Where the hell are you
>you missed our early-morning power fuck
[4/2/14 8:13:28 AM] thepicklelord1066:
>Oui?
[4/2/14 8:13:36 AM] Cade "The Craque Dealer" Williams:
>wee
>are you at school
[4/2/14 8:13:55 AM] thepicklelord1066:
>oui
[4/2/14 8:14:12 AM] Cade "The Craque Dealer" Williams:
>In Democratic please
>not communist
[4/2/14 8:14:42 AM] thepicklelord1066:
>Yes

Read More