Whooves and Hooves

by Tinker Trot

Country Doctor

Doctor Whooves. I liked the sound of that. I had just received my doctorate of Clockwork Engineering from the Unique Arts College at Trottingham about a week ago and was on my way to Ponyville to set up shop. I had never really liked busy cities, so that seemed like the right place to go. Besides, I thought it would be nice to make some ponies smile, showing them machines they had never seen before.

My thin frame struggled to pull the heavy cart containing my belongings. There were springs, gears, keys, my clothes... and several bags full of who knows what. Ponyfeathers! I thought as I approached the town. I had forgotten to bring any furniture, appliances, or personal effects. Except... my watch. My grey, broken fob watch. I couldn’t even remember where I got it; I just knew I had to keep it.

As I trudged past the buildings, dragging my cart behind, I looked around for a place to rest a little while. Before I knew it, I was in the town center and decided to just lie down by the fountain, unhitching myself from my cart. I sighed as my chest and shoulders were relieved of the pressure exerted by the yoke. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

“Hi!”

I jumped and nearly had a heart attack.

“What’s your name?” the offending pink pony asked, bouncing around me and my cart. “I’m Pinkie Pie! I know you’re new here because I know EVERYONE in Ponyville! But I don’t know you, so you must be new!”

I just sat and stared at her slack-jawed as she rambled. Once she finished, I tried to get my thoughts together. “M-my name is, uh, Doctor Whooves. I just got here maybe ten minutes ago.” I pulled my fob watch by the chain with my teeth before remembering it didn’t work and dropping it back into its pocket.

“Let me show you around! There’s lots of fun in Ponyville!”

“Uh... if you don’t mind... ” I started, backing up and sliding back into the hitch, “I’d like to find my home and move in.”

“Aww... ”

Oh no. She was upset. “Well, uh, maybe... um... you could... ” I gave the gears in my head a little extra shove. “Maybe you could help me find my house. I have the address here... ” I tugged a paper out of my suit pocket and gave it to her. “But I have a lot of work to do and need to get started as soon as–”

“Okie–dokie–lokie!” She cut me off (hopefully not realizing it) and started bouncing off. I had to give the cart a good pull to get it moving again before I could focus on keeping up with her. She talked a lot and asked questions, most of which I answered. At the very least, I hoped this was an indication that the people of Ponyville were friendly. If this kind of hyperactivity was typical, however, I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it.

I was about to fall on my face from exhaustion when we got to the address. “Thank you... ” I smiled, parking my wagon by the door.

“See you at your welcome party!” She exclaimed as she bounded down the street.

Welcome Party? I sighed and started unpacking. It didn’t take long to get all of my things inside, but getting organized and settled... that was going to be a different matter entirely. Come to think of it, when was I ever organized? That certainly wasn’t going to change now.

Once everything was inside, I took a quick trot through the house. I was surprised to see it pretty well-furnished, and... maybe a little bigger than it looked from the outside. Must have been my imagination.

Once I finished my self-tour of the house, I went to the living room and flopped onto the couch. I was overdue for lunch, but I needed to rest my hooves. I closed my eyes, rested my chin on the arm, and sighed. I got to sleep, but I don’t really know how long I slept (probably somewhere between a half-hour and a full one). Regardless, I was woken up by a knock at the door.

I rolled over, trying to ignore it, but fell off the couch and onto my back. “Ooh... ” I turned onto my haunches and rubbed my head. Note to self: don’t hit your head on the floor. It hurts, I told myself. Then I heard the knock again. “Come in!” I called as I ran into the front room and my hoof slipped against the doorknob in my attempts to turn it.

WHAM!

The door swung open and a grey blur knocked me back onto the floor. I barely avoided hitting my head again. “Can I help you?” I asked, stunned as I stared up at the ceiling.

“Hi! Do you live here?” the intruding pony asked.

“Yes... ” I groaned, getting back upright, hoping to stay there this time. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah! I’m the mailmare.”

“Okay...?” I looked her over while I had the chance. She was a – it took a second to come up with the word – pegasus. A grey pegasus delivering mail. The strange part came when I looked her in the eyes. One of them wasn’t looking at me. I was thinking about saying something else when she decided to carry on with her mission here.

“Where’d your house come from?”

“Excuse me?”

“It wasn’t here before.”

“Uh... people built it...?”

“But... nooo... building takes time. This house wasn’t here before.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know... magic? I just got here. I had an address, that’s all. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

“Magic... ” she said, her brow furrowed in concentration, “Magic... ” She plopped down onto my floor and sat there, thinking. She sat there for a little bit before getting frustrated. “I don’t know enough about magic... ”

I just stared at her, my jaw hanging a little loose. This mare just came into my house, practically tackled me, asked where the house came from, then took my joke seriously, and got upset over not knowing if magic could make a house appear in a day. This couldn’t be normal. It just couldn’t be. Of course, so far, there didn’t seem to be anything normal about this place.

“Um... how about we start this conversation over? My name is, uh, Doctor Whooves, and you seem to be in my home. Who might you be?”

“I told you. I’m the mailmare.”

“Ah, yes. So you did. But what’s your name?”

“Most ponies call me Derpy, but some ponies call me Ditzy, and a few call me Bubbles.”

Okay. Not a straight answer, really, but now I had something to call her, at least. “So, um, Miss Bubbles, if you’ll excuse me, I’m rather late for dinner and quite hungry.” I walked over to a rack where my saddlebags were hanging and put them on. I glanced over at my uninvited guest, and she was still sitting on the floor. “Unless I misunderstand social norms, my leaving the house dictates that you do the same.”

“Oh, right!” she exclaimed, jumping up with a flap of the wings and a bump to the ceiling, which responded with a small shower of dust. “Sorry... ”

“It’s okay,” I said, approaching the door. “Are you hungry?”

“Uh...?”

“Come on. Just be careful.”

“Okay!”

So I ended up going to dinner with a girl who invaded my house, knocked me over, asked strange questions, damaged my ceiling (and probably the door, though I didn’t check), and hadn’t given me a proper name. Definitely a strange first day. Hopefully, tomorrow will be more productive and less hectic, though I get the feeling that won’t happen in this town.

Comments

[A Madman With a Box]

This is good, I'm hoping for an epic doctor reveal at the end, Don't let me down!