Life Among the Distant Stars

by Tarkana262

Pinkie’s Odyssey

The control room was filled with all sorts of noises as the Doctor worked underneath the control column. Pinkie Pie sat happily nearby, hooked up to the column with a great tangle of wires.

The other five ponies looked on, knowing and fearing the inevitable outcome.

“Uh, Doc…what are you doing?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Science!” the colt yelled back. He emerged from his work, his mane frizzier than before and sonic screwdriver in his mouth. “You girls had better stick around, because I am, once and for all, going to figure out what makes this mare tick!”

His declaration was met with a round of facehooves and groans.

“Listen, sugarcube,” Applejack said, “When you’ve been around Pinkie as long as we have…”

“You discover some mysteries are better left unsolved,” Rarity finished.

“Oh, but that’s no fun!” The Doctor grinned widely. “We are friends with a pony that lives in direct defiance of the basic laws of physics and you me to act as if that’s entirely normal? Well, I suppose that’s technically true in your case…and by extension, mine – but that’s beside the point!”

Twilight shook her head. “Trust me, Doctor. I tried this a couple months ago, and I came back empty-hoofed. There are some things you just have to accept on faith.”

“Ah, but you didn’t have good old Gallifreyan engineering on your side!” The Doctor hopped over to a large lever. “Ready, Pinkie?”

The pink pony grinned. “Okie dokie lokie!”

“Right – now, my dear nay-saying companions, behold!”

With a dramatic swing of his arm, the Doctor threw the lever – and instantly, all the lights went out.

“’Good old Gallifreyan engineering,’ huh?” Rainbow Dash quipped.

The Doctor sighed frustratedly. “Just giver the old girl a second to get back up. It’s probably something simple, like stray artron energy or something.”

The lights returned shortly. The colt began to pull out his screwdriver again when he noticed something.

“Where’s Pinkie?”

The mares looked, and sure enough, the chair where Pinkie had been sitting was now empty, save for the collection of wires she had been wearing just moments before.

“Woah! That was fun!”

Pinkie’s voice echoed through the control room, as if it came from everywhere at once. The six ponies looked everywhere, but found no sign of her.

“I don’t get it,” Applejack said, “Where’s she gone off to?”

“Silly Applejack, I’m right here!” Light flickered as a hologram of the pink pony faded into existence before them.

“Whoa,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, “How’d you do that?”

“Oh, it was easy,” Pinkie answered. “I saw you guys were all worried, so I looked around in the application directory and I saw this hologram projection thingy, and I told to to look like me and here I am!”

“Wait,” the Doctor interjected, “Did you say, ‘application directory?’”

Pinkie’s head bobbed happily. “You wouldn’t believe all the cool stuff that’s in there! There the room generator, and a star map, and a universal timeline, and the wibbly and wobbily modulators, and…”

As the party pony continued her list, the Doctor’s pupils became progressively smaller. “No…no, no, no…no no nononononono!”

“Uh-oh,” Rainbow whispered, “The only time he does that is when something’s really messed up.”

“Pinkie!” the colt shouted at the hologram. “Listen very carefully – you are now inside the TARDIS. Not just in a room, but inside its mainframe that controls everything. I don’t how, I don’t know why, but whatever you do, don’t – ”

“Ooh! Ooh! You mean I can make it go whoosh! All right! Let’s go on an adventure!”

Switches on the console flipped themselves and the TARDIS was thrown into action. The room shook even more than it did when the Doctor was in control.

“Where are you taking us?!” The Doctor demanded.

Pinkie giggled. “It’s a secret!”

---

The TARDIS’ abrupt landing threw the six corporal ponies to the floor.

“Ow – is…everypont alright?” Twilight grunted.

“I believe so,” Rarity said, “though I wish the same could be said about my mane. And I just got a new perm, too…”

The Doctor dusted off his coat. “Right, Pinkie, where have you taken us?”

“Well, I opened the star map and I closed my eyes and pointed at the map and said, ‘Ooh! Griffoth!’ That sounds like fun!”

“Wait, Griffoth?!”

A dull, repeating thumping noise rang through the room. It started slowly, but quickly picked up speed and force. Soon, the entire TARDIS began to shake.

“Doc, what’s goin’ on?!” Applejack asked.

“It’s the Graske,” the colt said, “They’re the natives, little lizard-like guys who invade planets on their free time. And they really, really don’t like me.”

“Are there any species that actually like you, Doctor?” Rarity asked.

The Doctor paused. “That’s not important!” he said, then turned back to the control column. “Pinkie, I need you to get us out of here, now.”

“Awwww, but this planet’s name is so much fun to say!” Pinkie whined. “Griffoth, Griffoth, Griffoth! It’s like Griffon, but with – ”

“PINKIE PIE!”

“Ugh, fine! You don’t need to be a bossy-flossy.”

---

Celestia sighed when the sound of a quill scratching paper reached her ears. “Luna,” she called into her sister’s bedroom, “I’m going for a walk in the garden. Would you like to come with me?”

She received no answer. When she entered the room, she saw Luna on her bed, surrounded by books and scrolls and writing furiously.

The moon princess jumped slightly when Celestia cleared her throat. “Oh, my apologies, sister. I did not hear you come in.”

“It is alright, Luna.” Celestia replied. “It looks like you’ve been working hard today. Why don’t you take a break and come walk in the garden with me? The Heart’s Desires are starting to bloom.”

Luna shook her head. “I’m sorry, Celly, but I’m in the middle of a project. I can’t just stop now.”

The sun princess frowned, remembering how many times she heard those same words from a certain faithful student of hers. As the filly had grown older, Celestia had to use more inventive ways to get her to stop studying even for a moment.

Her frown turned to a smile when she recalled a specific method she had often employed.

“Why Luna, I think there’s something on your fur!”

Luna looked down. “What? Where – ”

“Here!” Luna found herself underneath Celestia, the white alicorn tickling her belly. Their combined laughter grew as the playful assault continued –

CRASH!

The alicorns’ heads turned towards a very familiar blue box that had unceremoniously wedged itself in the outer wall. Smoke billowed out the open door, along with a dazed Doctor.

“Blimey, that’s the second time this has happened! I’m very sorry, your magesties – ”

The colt’s eyes fell on the bed, where Princess Celestia was on top of Princess Luna, both of whom were looking slightly exhausted.

“Weeeelllll…” The Doctor’s face slowly turned red. “I’m very sorry for barging in like this, but we’ll be leaving NOW PINKIE!”

He stumbled back into the TARDIS as fast as he could as it slowly faded away.

The two princesses looked at each other for a full second before bursting out in laughter.

---

“Where are we going now?!” Twilight cried.

Pinkie laughed. “I have no idea!”

Currently, the TARDIS was in the closest a time machine could get to a tail spin in the Time Vortex. The six passengers felt the full force of physics as they gripped on to whatever they could.

“Doctor!” Rarity maneuvered next to him and gave him a deadly serious glare. “My mane and tail are in the most unimaginable disarray I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. It will take hours to set it back as it is, and the longer we are like this, it only get worse. If you do not stop Pinkie now, I will personally shave off all your hair and use your teeth as a hairbrush! Understand?”

The Doctor nodded with a nervous gulp and turned to the control pillar.

“Pinkie! Listen to me. The Heart of the TARDIS is still inside there, and eventually, it will take back control and kick you out of there. I don’t quite know what will happen then, but there is a large chance that you will be jettisoned out into oblivion, and when that happens, there will be no cakes, no random songs, and no more parties! The only way to stop that from happening is to take us back to Ponyville, NOW!”

As soon as the words left his mouth, the TARDIS came to a sudden stop. The door opened, and the familiar sounds of the Ponyville marketplace drifted in. As the ponies ventured out, they saw they were indeed back home at the exact moment they left.

Rainbow gleefully threw herself to the ground and began to kiss it. “Oh, I never thought I’d miss you!”

“But…what about Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“What about me?”

They turned around, and there in the TARDIS doorway, stood a flesh-and-blood Pinkie Pie.

“But…but how?!” the Doctor demanded.

“Pinkie shrugged. “Oh, I just put us in reverse, and when we got home I gave the keys back to the girl in charge and thanked her for letting me drive.”

“Wait,” the colt said, eyes narrowing, “She…let you take control?”

“Yep! She’s a very nice lady, you should talk to her more. She let me in after I promised to bake her a cake.” Pinkie’s eyes widened as she gasped. “CAKE!” she cried, and dashed off to the bakery.

“But…but…but…” the Doctor tried his best to make sense of what had happened, but his mind came up blank. Left with no better option, he simply collapsed to the ground.

“Confound you ponies…”

Comments

[mrmarc1996]

And this is why Pinkie is awesome.

[dbanksischillin]

gotta agree with the doctor on this one. Confound them

[DrOblivian]

only pinkie could cause The Doctor of all beings! to simply "give up" like that. And i love it!