The Revival of a Heart

by TheMessenger

Ash's Folly

Ash's Folly

"Well, nice of you to finally join us," the doppelgänger gasped, smirking as he did so. If being strangled had bothered him a bit, he certainly did not show it. "Tell me, how was the trip down memory lane?"

Ash pulled his lookalike closer. "I didn't need a reminder," he spat.

"No? Tell me Ash, has your grip weakened since we last met?"

Ash's eye grew wild and his hand shook with rage as his face twisted into a snarl. Growling, he lifted the lookalike higher and wrapped his other hand around his neck.

The lookalike merely grinned at Ash's display of savagery. Even as Ash's grip around his neck tightened and his feet dangled several inches above solid ground, the white-robed, raven-headed Human mocked Ash with a smile, a sight that enraged him further.

"I'll kill you!" he roared, his face glowing red with anger. "This time I'll end you for good!"

"Please," Ash's clone managed to croak. "If you honestly think you have the time...or the courage...do yourself a favor, huh?"

Ash screamed. He flung his double to the floor and placed his knees on his chest. He balled up his fist, then struck. And struck. And struck. Each strike was followed by a loud resounding thud that rang far too long as Ash's fist met his double's jaw, chin, and cheeks.

There was a different echo this time. Ash opened his eyes and found his fist dug deep in the crystal floor. Sucking in his breath, Ash yanked his hand out. Shards stuck out from his knuckles and blood streamed down them like rivers through valleys. Ash brought his fist up to his face and grabbed hold of the largest protruding piece of glass with his teeth. He threw his head back and spat out the stained shard. A trail of blood followed it through the air. Blood flowed from the wound unhindered as Ash flexed, opening and closing his hand.

"Might be better to leave it in," the double chuckled. "You might actually do some damage."

Ash struck his double again, hissing in pain as the remaining shards dug deeper into his flesh.

The doppelgänger chuckled again. "Guess not." He rubbed his unblemished cheek.

Ash's breathing was shaky, in pain and in exhaustion. He struggled to keep his eyes opened and focused as red sweat rolled over the bruises on his face. He sucked in another unsteady breath and grabbed the double's robes, forcing him up. Slowly, Ash lifted his free hand. A small ball of fire burst between his fingertips. As the white flames grew larger, a long shadow fell upon his features.

"Think you can survive this?"

"Dunno. Can we?" The double grinned. "Care to find out?"

At the black-haired double's challenge, Ash's eyes widened and his hand shook violently. The flames flared into a miniature inferno, barely contained in ball form. His fingers cracked next to the heat of the blaze and skin burned away, exposing the pink flesh underneath by the light of the fire ball.

"Are you...hesitating?"

Ash's hand went down. The blaze fell closer and closer to white-clothed counterpart's face, which kept its calm, disinterested stare and sneer even as these features were illuminated by the fire in Ash's hand. The flames licked the air inches from his nose.

Inches were all that stood between fire and flesh.

"You stopped. Finished already?"

"Go to Hell!" Ash snarled but his hand remained in place, unmoving. He turned his head, glaring at the limb. It twitched as Ash willed it forward but something held it back.

"Ash! Stop it!"

The Mage blinked. He let the imposter fall to floor with a hard thud and rubbed the sweat and blood out of his eyes with his freed hand. A faint violet light shimmered over his arm. He looked to the other side.

"You're hurting yourself! Please, stop!"

Ash blinked. "T-Twilight?" he muttered as something collided into him hard.

*****

"A-Ash?" Twilight said uncertainly. Something was off about the Mage. While he looked more like the Ash she was familiar with, Twilight had never seen the Human so angry before. The sight before her, with the white-haired Ash trying to strangle the annoying black-haired one, furthered her confusion.

What was going on here? Were either of them actually Ash? The lookalike had mentioned the Mage's arrival but was this actually him? Twilight had never seen him so violent. It remaindered her a bit of the injured manticore she and her friends had encountered on her first day in Ponyville. The blood that trickled over his eye completed the wounded raging beast motif.

"Well, nice of you to finally join us," Ash's lookalike managed to say. The utter apathy in his tone and in the careless grin he wore as Ash threatened to choke him was unsettling and sent shivers down Twilight's spine.

"Tell me, how was the trip down memory lane?"

Ash let his double fall a few inches, dragging him closer to his face. "I didn't need a reminder," he snarled with ferocity and hate that was just as unnerving to Twilight as the total disinterest of the doppelgänger.

"No?" the hanging double sneered. "Tell me Ash, has your grip weakened since we last met?"

Twilight's eyes widened in horror as Ash reached out with his other hand.

"I'll kill you!" he screamed. "This time I'll end you for good!"

"Please," the double responded weakly as Ash's hold around his neck strengthened and the surrounding pressure increased. "If you honestly think you have the time...or the courage...do yourself a favor, huh?"

Twilight flattened her ears against her head as Ash released an anguished cry as he tossed his double to the floor and leaped on top. The Unicorn winced at the first punch Ash threw, the impact echoing down the hall and through her ears. She gasped at the second one that quickly followed and took a step forward, readying herself into a gallop.

And do what?

Twilight paused in the middle of her next step. What was her plan, she wondered. Was it to stop the fight? She let her hooves fall forward and prepared for the next step.

Why?

Again, Twilight hesitated. She had caught a quick glance of Ash's face, which was still contorted in rage. She had never seen anypony, any animal, any being this angry and this violent. That murderous glint that shone in Ash's eye right now had not been present in Nightmare Moon, Discord, or Queen Chrysalis.

This, this was a personal matter, one that Twilight did not understand and because of that, she hesitated in intervening. She wasn't sure she could even prevent Ash from dealing further damage, much less convince him to listen to reason. And who knew what would happen to her...

He wouldn't hurt me... Twilight argued to herself. I said it myself: Ash is my friend...he wouldn't try to hurt me.

Yet her resolve melted like wax of a candle at the sight of Ash's burning and unrelenting fury. Twilight's uncertain attempts to crawl forward slowly ceased as the thuds of Ash's fists rang in her ears and she shut her eyes.

Strange, that last one didn't sound much like a thud. Twilight opened her eyes and watched while Ash struggled to free his arm from the hole he had punched in the glassy ground.

As Ash struggled, Twilight got another good look at his face and gasped. Dark bruises marred the sides and blood ran down from a crushed nose, as if he had just been dealt a beating rather than having dealt one. Ash's breaths came out pained and labored and his eyes were barely focused.

What's going on? Why is Ash hurt? Twilight wondered just as Ash finally freed his hand and brought it to his mouth. The Unicorn watched as he tossed his head back. Something sparkled in the air and Twilight followed the projectile as it flew close by, flinching as what she now saw as a bloodied shard of crystal clatter against the floor barely a hop away. Peppered spots of red littered the floor around it.

It's like all the damage Ash is trying to do is being reflected. Why?

"Might be better to leave it in," the double had spoken with a short laugh that chilled the Unicorn. It was not the kind of thing or tone one would normally hear from a beaten being. Was Ash the only one getting hurt? Twilight turned to the double but his face was obscured, revealing nothing.

"You might actually do some damage."

Another taunt. Why? What did this imposter hope to gain from inciting Ash like this? What did he hope to gain from Ash's pain?

A loud hiss interrupted Twilight's musings. Ash was clutching his bleeding fist, breathing heavily. The double chuckled. "Guess not," Twilight heard him say smugly.

Ash's shoulder quaked as he lifted a shaky hand. Twilight watched anxiously, expecting the hand to fall and strike, only recoil in surprise as flames burst forth from the Mage's fingers. The Unicorn's widened in horror as she realized what he intended to do.

"Think you can survive this?"

The double's features were illuminated by flames, revealing untouched lips twisted in a smirk. "Dunno, can we? Care to find out?"

No! Twilight leaped into a gallop as the small fire ball exploded into a rage firestorm in Ash's hand. He'll roast himself!

"Are you...hesitating?"

"Don't do it!" Twilight screamed, her horn glowing as she reached out to grab hold of Ash's arm. Her cry received no response and the flames fell closer. Twilight shut her eyes, strained, as she willed her reach further, her grip stronger. She could feel her magic encompass the Mage's wrist but was it enough?

"...You stopped. Finished already?"

"Go to Hell!"

Twilight opened her eyes, half-expecting to find her friend on the ground in agony, burnt beyond recognition. She let out a sigh of relief after seeing the fireball was inches away from Ash's target, still in the white-haired Mage's hands. Though it was faint, Twilight made out purple lights surrounding Ash's arm, which she recognized as her own aura. Ash fought back however and Twilight moved closer, hoping to strengthen her hold.

"Ash! Stop it!" Twilight cried out. Already it felt like her magical grip was fading, even as she redoubled her efforts. She hurried forward. "You're hurting yourself! Please, stop!"

Ash's back stiffened. He turned away from the hated doppelgänger and let him fall to the ground.

"T-Twilight?" he breathed.

In her joyous surprise, Twilight had forgotten that she had broken into a full gallop, and tackled him in a manner that would have impressed Rainbow Dash.

*****

"W-what are you doing here?" Ash demanded as he recovered and lifted the little purple pony off his chest. "Wait, of course you'd be here," he groaned. "Only reason I'm here," he added under his breath.

"Huh?"

"It's...never mind, it's complicated." Ash sighed as Twilight protested, exhausted but relieved that the Unicorn was safe. He got to his feet and dusted himself off.

"Be careful," said Twilight. "You're still hurt. Let me-" The rest of her words died away as her jaw fell. The bruises had disappeared. Even all the blood that leaked from his forehead was gone, as if wiped away by an wet towel.

His eyes were no longer strained or unfocused and to Twilight's relief, nor were they filled with seething rage. They instead reflected worry and gladness as they looked over the Unicorn. Twilight recognized those hazel eyes, the eyes of a friend.

Twilight's fear returned as Ash turned and anger flashed in his eyes. His black-haired double had gotten to his feet, wearing that chilling smile Twilight had begun to recognize as his trademark.

"Are we done here?" he asked. "Are we finished?"

Ash glared. "We both know it's not over and it never will be."

The double shrugged. "Perhaps. Then again, perhaps not. Maybe this little one'll change your mind." He gave Twilight a wink. She gave him a scowl in return. "Still, you know I'm right about one thing."

Ash was silent for a second before reluctantly nodding. "I don't have the time to be here right now."

"Hey!" Twilight shouted as Ash embraced her barrel with an arm, lifting her up and sprinted off.

"Or the courage!" the raven-headed, white-robed Human shouted after them, laughing. Ash grit his teeth and ran faster, with Twilight's protests trailing behind him.

*****

The sanctuary doors swung open loudly as if on their own account as Ash and Twilight approached, something Twilight was thankful for as Ash made no indication of slowing down.

Twilight struggled futilely against Ash's hold. She felt the aftershocks of each step the Mage took as he ran, which made it difficult to articulate her discomfort. Her legs hung limply over the ground as Ash held her up to his chest. His constricting grip around her middle made each breath Twilight took a strained exercise. It might have been bearable if Ash had chosen a slower, more comfortable pace.

"A-Ash, h-hold on," Twilight groaned. "I-I can w-walk on my o-own."

The ringing echoes of hard shoes against marble and crystal were replaced by solid dull thuds. With effort, Twilight managed to turn her head and saw that the temple behind them was rapidly disappearing. She looked down and saw dark obsidian stones. To the sides were dark voids, deprived of any matter.

"W-where are w-we g-going?" Twilight asked as she was jolted along. "A-Ash, w-what's going o-on?"

The Unicorn's frustration grew as her imposing transport remained silent. "We need to hurry" was all he had said to her and the utter lack of communication was getting on Twilight's nerves. She had half the mind to reach out and trip the Mage up.

She fought against the urge but refused to resign herself to complete ignorance and helplessness. Thus, despite the physical difficulty and the apparent pointlessness, Twilight continued to question.

Twilight sighed. "A-Ash," she pleaded while bouncing against the Mage's front, "you c-can't just leave m-me in the dark. W-what's going on? Why are w-we in such a h-hurry? What h-happened back t-there? A-and w-why-yah!"

The Unicorn flew out of Ash's arms and skid across the hard stone ground. Dazed, Twilight slowly got to her feet and looked behind her. The Mage sat some few feet from her, grabbing and pulling at his leg. A small hole had broken through below, trapping the appendage at the ankle.

"Ash, are you okay?"

"Forget about me," Ash said. "You need to hurry. Go!"

"Go? Go where?" Twilight demanded. "What's going on?" she repeated.

"We don't have time for questions. You-"

Light cocooned Ash's leg and around the hole's edges. Bits of stone fell from around the ankle until the hole became sizable enough for the leg to freely move. Before Ash could act, Twilight had already lifted his leg out, almost forcefully.

"There, I saved you. Now tell me what's going on."

"Saved? I told you to run!"

"Run where?" Twilight screamed back. "Why? What are we running from? Why am I leaving you behind? Why were there two of you back there? You can't expect me to do all this without asking any questions, without getting any answers! What's going on?"

The ground beneath Twilight's hoof crumbled as she stomped. Instinctively, the Unicorn swung her forelegs forward, hoping to grab hold of the ledge. In mid scream her hooves caught something other than the sharp stony edge she had expected. Twilight opened her eyes and looked up into Ash's eyes.

"Don't panic," he said. Even as the words left his mouth, the bridge began to quake violently. Chunks of obsidian fell into the void below. If this had been a less stressful situation, Twilight would have noted that no resounding echoes of the stones hitting bottom were made. All things considered, Twilight was taking things rather calmly.

"Don't panic? Don't panic? I'm not panicking, I'm being frantic!" she screeched. "I just wanted to know what was going on! Was that too much to ask?"

The shaking increased. With a grunt, Ash swung Twilight up onto his shoulders and leaped into a run. He adopted a less reckless pace than before as he maneuvered around sudden holes that appeared.

"Hold on! The spell's falling apart," the Mage explained as he jumped over one of the growing cracks. "We're running out of time! It won't matter that we managed to return your body to normal if your conscious gets lost here; without a conscious, your mind won't work and neither will your physical body. We need to get you back into your body before the entire spell collapses! Question answered?"

"Yes, thank you," Twilight squeaked, hugging Ash's neck as tightly as she could without strangling him. "What about back there? Why was there a different version of you?"

"Is this really the time or the place?"

"Look out! Hole!"

Twilight's warning was perfectly timed and at her cry Ash bounded over the gap without breaking stride. "Thanks," he said as he crossed another miniature chasm.

"Guess not," Twilight muttered quietly into Ash's back in response to his previous incredulous statement. Disappointment oozed from her voice that did not go entirely unnoticed by the Mage. Even in such a situation, where death or even worse were possible consequences, Twilight's curiosity roared like a famished lion.

Quit moping she chided herself. Getting out of this place in one piece is more important right now. Besides, if Ash doesn't want to explain, he doesn't have to. It might be some really personal.

As sound as her reasoning was, Twilight still could not banish the little cry of disappointment in her heart. She sighed, hoping it was silently enough to pass undetected by Ash.

The sigh was echoed by the Human she piggybacked. He was silent a little longer before saying, "You know, you saved me back there."

"Huh? Are you talking about..."

"From myself," Ash tried to explain. "If you hadn't stopped me, if I had gone further...well, trust me when I say it wouldn't have been pretty. Though how much trust I really deserve is debatable," he added under his breath.

"What was that?" Twilight asked.

"Hole. Hold on." Ash hissed in pain as he landed roughly, rolling his ankle.

"Are you okay? I can run on my own you know."

Ash shook his head. He was already on the move again and the small injury didn't seem to slow him a bit. From her position, however, Twilight failed to see the winces Ash made as his left foot landed each few steps.

"This is faster," he said. "I've got a larger stride and it'll be easier for me than for you to get over these cracks."

"Oh," was all Twilight could muster against Ash's logic. It was rare for the Unicorn to be on the receive side of reasoning and Twilight considered mentioning that in the position they were in now, if one fell the other would too, in order to save some face. She abandoned that line of thinking, realizing that she was about to suggest splitting up simply to increase the probability that at least one of them would survive.

We'll both make it. I know it. We'll make it together.

"In case we don't make it, you...I think you deserve to know, about...him."

Twilight almost bit through the collar of Ash's robes as she struggled to conceal her groan.

"Look, I don't feel right keeping it a secret, especially considering how you saved me from, well, myself really." Ash shook his head. "It's...well..." He sighed. "You ever had someone just walk up to you and throw every single one of your flaws into your flaws?"

"You mean criticism? Sometimes, why?"

Ash shook his head. "I don't mean constructive criticism...but on that topic, how do you feel when someone criticizes you?"

Twilight shrugged. "When I was younger, I always felt really awful, like I really messed up somehow and didn't deserve to be Princess Celestia's student. Now though, I've learned to accept and learn from criticism. Learning from our mistakes helps us improve after all."

"But when we're young, being force to face our flaws, our issues, our mistakes, it's hard not to hate ourselves, hard to even look at a mirror."

Twilight opened her mouth to counter; what the Mage was saying seemed a little exaggerated, extreme even. Images of Spike filled her head, however, his face displaying the utter disappointment and even anger he held toward himself when Twilight confronted him about the /Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy/ he had accidentally destroyed. He had gone so far that he came to the conclusion that she no longer cared for the little dragon. And then there was the time Spike lost control over his greed...

Perhaps she could take criticism in stride. Maybe her flaws didn't bother her so much because she knew she would always strive to improve. With time, Twilight was certain, Spike would grow and accept his flaws as well. Now however...

"Do you know what my first experience with mental magic was?" Ash asked, stirring the Unicorn out of her thoughts. She shook her head, uncertain as to the direction the discussion was going.

"No," Twilight said, realizing that Ash couldn't see the nonverbal answer.

"It was a trip into my own subconscious. I couldn't have been any older than twelve and what I saw scared me. I saw a monster in there. A selfish, smug asshole with a superiority complex. I saw myself."

"Excuse me?"

Ash released a dark chuckle. He spent a few moment maneuvering over the crumbling bridge before continuing:

"For an orphan, I had quite an ego. I pull myself into a prestigious academy by my own abilities and persistence. I caught the eye of the Archmage, the most powerful Human spellcaster, became the Archmage's apprentice and potential successor, I had quite the list of accomplishments and pride quickly became my personal deadly sin. Add a little insecurity in there and, well..."

Another weak chuckle. "I often tried to avoid other children and when that was unavoidable, I would insult them with hidden meanings, with little mind games and riddles. I thought I was so clever and didn't think I was doing anything wrong. After all, I thought I was better."

"That's doesn't sound like you at all. I mean, sure you can sometimes be a little sarcastic, maybe even a little condensing, but I've never saw you as acting overly smug or superior."

"That's because I grew up. But part of growing up was recognizing and confronting my darkness, learning that I wasn't perfect, that I wasn't as high and mighty as I thought I was. Remember the locked diary you found in your subconscious? Similar reaction expounded.

"I don't remember much. I do remember wondering how Ramth could have had me as a friend, as tainted as I was. In my mind I was no better than the snotty noble children he had been forced to associate with. I remember thinking to myself, this must be cleaned. I...in midst of all my emotions I lost control over my magic and when I could think again, I saw another me in standing before me, wearing pure white robes, taunting me with that smug grin. So I stabbed him."

"J-just like that? You just somehow summoned a double from out of nowhere and stabbed him just like that?" Twilight said in disbelief.

"He's not exactly a double or a clone. He's a manifest of the flaws I wanted to purge from myself, resulting from my lack of control and self-loathing. I don't think I was entirely sure what I was doing when I ended up creating him but I do know the drive of the magic was the destructive emotions I held against myself at the time. I think I figured that if I destroyed my self that was filled with all the bad stuff, my flaws would disappear."

"It didn't work, did it?"

"...As if mistakes could be erased that easily. No it didn't work. I woke up a week later in my physical body, feeling awfully weak. It didn't matter that he was made of all the parts I hated myself for, he's still part of me and trying to kill him is the same as turning a knife on myself. Back there, I guess I lost control; its been awhile since I confronted myself. If you hadn't stopped me I don't know if I could have ever woken up again.

"So thanks. Just wanted you to know I'm thankful. For listening too."

Twilight tightened her grip around Ash into a gentle hug. "Thanks for telling me," she said. "But you're better than that, you know. He's not really you, just a part. Just like that diary. Don't ever think you don't deserve to be anyone's friend. A true friend loves you for who you are, flaws and all."

This chuckle brought a smile to Twilight's face. "Personal experience?"

"Maybe, though I don't think I ever wrote an official friendship report on that. Maybe I should-STOP!"

Ash skid to an abrupt halt, almost tripping over his hurt ankle. Several yards before the two was a large open window. Light streamed from the portal like a beacon. Twilight leaped off her friend's back and gaped at the window. She felt herself drawn to it, like a moth to a candle, but without the danger. It was where she belonged, where she needed to be.

It was also on the other side of a gigantic chasm that had split the bridge into two.

Twilight ran a few quick calculations in her head while estimating the width of the abyss and looking for alternative routes. There was no way she could safely jump across and the hole stretched across the entire width of the bridge.

"What are we going to-HEY!" Twilight screamed as Ash placed a hand under her stomach and lifted her above his head. The Unicorn blushed suddenly; his hand had shifted dangerously low.

"Hey! Where are you-"

"Lower your head," Ash instructed.

"Eh?"

"Lower your head!" he said more forcefully. Twilight quickly complied.

Ash's palm began to heat up and his fingers dug into Twilight's underbelly. It wasn't entirely painful but neither was it comfortable. The rest of her body began to warm up as well. The Unicorn wondered what was the Mage planning.

He pulled his arm back and drew in a breath.

"What are you-"

Then he released, sending the screaming Unicorn sailing through the air like a javelin. Tears trailed out from Twilight's shut eyes which were followed by a stream of equine-based profanities. She had the sensibility to keep her head down and Ash was grateful for that.

A small grin lit the Mage's face as he saw Twilight soar through the portal. She was finally safe. Ash released a sigh of relief just as the stones beneath him crumbled down into the endless void below.

Instinctively, the Human swung his arms behind him, hoping to latch himself to the rocky edge. He caught something softer than the stony ledge he had expected, though it was not much warmer.

He looked up into his own brown eyes.

Author's Note:

Then he let go. Then end.

Did this just get featured? Good Lord, I'm speechless. Thanks guys!

Comments

[Azarias]

So Twilight seems to be out, that's good. Now for the showdown between Ash and self-loathing

[TheMessenger]

2656985

Hey, remember when you called him a douche canoe?

That phrase was running through my head while I was writing Ash's explanation. I even considered using douche instead of asshole.

[fedback]

DAMN, this is long XD, is it good?. I´ll give it a try when i come back from the uni

[Azarias]

2656994

I completely forgot i called him that. :o

And it fits. :p