Cupcakes, anypony?
“Cupcakes?”
Her face bright and joyful with anticipation, Pinkie Pie pushed the plate in Rainbow Dash’s direction. But the cyan pegasus pony just shivered and frowned.
“I’ve already told you, Pinkie- thanks, but NO THANKS.”
“Awww, come on, just one bite... for your auntie-paunty Pinkie!”
“I said no! Geez, I swear, on every occasion, you try to shove your damn cupcakes down my throat...!”
The other ponies gasped, shocked by Rainbow’s sudden outburst. Like every other week, the six friends had gathered at Sugar Cube corner for snacks and hot chocolate.
“That was uncalled for, sugar cube”, Applejack said to break the silence.
Rainbow Dash looked down, her face hot with shame.
“I’m sorry, Pinkie, I really am. I’ve already told you, I can’t eat your cupcakes.”
“Don’t you like them...?”
“That’s besides the point. Objectively speaking, they are awesome. The best there are.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I... Okay, look. I’m freaking out, okay? It’s not your fault, but I have... nightmares, and stuff.”
“I didn’t know you had nightmares, Rainbow”, Twilight Sparkle said, “I’m sure if we talk about it, we can...”
“It’s no big deal... And I don’t really want to talk about it. Just keep it in mind, okay?”
Pinkie Pie’s face lit up again.
“I know what will cheer you up... Cupcakes?”
Again with the plate-pushing.
Rainbow Dash was flubbergasted.
“Haven’t you listened to a word I just said?”
“I dunno. Maybe? Have I? Would you like a cupcake?”
Rainbow Dash closed her eyes, and as calmly as possible, she said:
“For the last time: Your cupcakes are scaring the hay out of me. They haunt me in my nightmares. So no, Pinkie. I would not like one of your cupcakes, even if it was the last in all of Equestria.”
Applejack was shaking her head. To Fluttershy, she whispered:
“That won’t do her no good. To good ol’ Pinkie, this will sound like a challenge...”
Pinkie Pie leaned forward and rested her head on one of her front hooves.
“Say, that’s mighty strange, Dashie. How can cupcakes haunt anypony? I didn’t put any ghoulies or ghosties into them. I tried that once, and boy, the sales were dropping so fast one could...”
“You really want to know what keeps me from eating your cupcakes?”
“Either you tell me, or you let me find out... Uh! I have just the persona for that!”
Pinkie Pie darted out of the room, only to come back a second later with a psychologist’s couch and a pair of ridiculously large glasses.
“Meet Frau Doktor Hagenschlagenfragen! Jusst lay zown and tell me whatt iss bodering you, Fräulein Rainboh Dasch! And maybe haf ein kupkake, ja?”
She was petting the cushion of the couch to support the invitation.
“She kinda confiscated that persona from me, remember?”, Twilight said to Rarity.
The white unicorn shrugged, without averting her eyes from the scene in front of them.
“If you ask me, the Teutonic accent is a nice addition.”
Rainbow moaned. “Not that again...”
“Look. Let’s settle this once for all. Pinkie? Pinkie! Are you listening to me?”
Pinkie Pie was lost in a new game she had discovered. She was laying on the couch, going through pictures of inkblots, mumbling random word associations while Doktor Hagenschlagenfragen was taking notes, shaking her head in concern. Before anypony’s brain could melt as a consequence of this paradox, the two pink earth ponies fused back together as Rainbow Dash yelled Pinkie’s name.
“Applesauce, Tasmanian Walrus, Horseshoe, Seven years in Beijing, Maine... Yes, Dashie?”
She hopped in front of her pegasus friend, with fluttering eyelashes.
“Pinkie, I need an answer from you...”
“Napoleon Bonbonparte!”
“I mean an answer to the following question: Are you - yes or no - foalnapping, torturing and chopping up ponies as a “special ingredient” for your cupcakes?”
Fluttershy almost fainted. Twilight Sparkle violently shook her head.
“Rainbow, what on EARTH...”
“Uh-uh-uh! Don’t interrupt, Twilight. I need to hear this. So, Pinkie Pie... what will it be?”
“Yes. I mean no. Gosh, should I? I mean, I didn’t know you had... special tastes like that...”
“Personally-wise, I am not surprised”, Applejack said, “She once almost chewed mah mane off during a sleepover...”
Rainbow turned around to yell at the workhorse, blushing.
“Applejack, I told you I was dreaming about fresh hay! It wasn’t my fault your hair smells like farm! ...We’re getting awfully off-topic here, but what did I expect...
I have issues. I am scared that there MIGHT be ponies in your cupcakes, Pinkie. There aren’t any, right?”
“Nope. The only cannibal cupcakes I ever made were cupcakes eating other cupcakes, and that was for a competition over in Fillydelphia last summer...”
“Okay. Good. Great. That’s a relief. ‘Cupcakes eating other cupcakes?’ Nevermind. Girls, I tell you... Now that I have let it all out, I feel a lot better already.”
“Maybe you should assist Pinkie with her next bunch of cupcakes? So you can see with your own eyes there is nothing to worry about?”, Twilight kindly suggested.
“It might be a little too soon for that...”
Pinkie Pie made puppy eyes.
“Is it also too soon for one itsy bitsy tallowhipsy hipsy ditsy cupcake...?”
Rainbow sighted.
“For you, Pinkie. I really hope you’ll leave me alone after that...”
She took a bite.
“Say, these are good cupcakes. What’s in ‘em?”
Pinkie chuckled.
“Well, I said I didn’t use any ponies...”
Rainbow Dash frowned and looked at the half-eaten cupcake. The colors were a little odd. Green and purple. Just the color sheme of a certain little dragon they all knew and loved...
“Hey girls”, she said slowly, “Has anyone seen Spike today?”
“He was helping me earlier with the... ingredients”, Pinkie Pie squeaked, trying to keep a straight face.
From one second to the next, the ponies invited to Sugar Cube Corner turned very pale.
But by now Pinkie Pie was rolling on the floor, laughing.
“Oh GIRLS! I’m pulling your hooves! Spikey is fine. I just sent him out to find some very special flowers for me. Fluttershy, he said he found them growing by your cottage! He said you even helped him harvest the stuff!”
“...Oh, uhm, right. I guess I should have mentioned that before...”
-
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were on their way to Sweet Apple Ackers after the little party. The workhorse had invited her over to talk about a construction project for which she said she could use her friend’s help.
“Gosh, Pinkie Pie was really rocking the house this time, wasn’t she...”, the pegasus said with a little, nervous laugh.
“I shall say. But you were not too shabby on the freaky account yourself, sugar cube. Accusing good ol’ Pinkemina of being an evil dungeon master...?”
Rainbow Dash smirked.
“Yeah, that was pretty lame. But if that means I get to have regular dreams again, I don’t regret it...”
They arrived on the farm.
“Say, sugar cube, I could really use something to calm mah nerves. Would you be so neighbourly as to fetch me a bottle of cidre from mah new apple cellar?”
“Sure thing... where is...?”
Applejack lifted a hoof and pointed to a big, gaping entry not far from the barn.
Rainbow dashed inside.
“Gosh, it’s dark in here. Ah, there’s the cidre...”
A shadow fell on her from the big rectangle above. Rainbow turned her head.
“Applejack?”
“Good night, sugar cube. Don’t worry, I’ll come to see you very soon...”
And then the earth pony closed the cellar door.
Rainbow Dash started banging against it. It was made of steel.
“APPLEJACK!”
Outside, the earth pony was unable to even hear the pegasus’ pointless efforts and protest, but she could imagine them all too well.
Applejack chuckled. “Finally, we’ll get some quality time together, mah little turkey.”
As she walked back to the house, with a lusty shake of her flank, the earth pony whispered:
“And trust me, Rainbow... It will be a long, long time...”
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Ever read Rocket To Insanity?
WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT IN THE HAY?!
THAT IT'S TERRIFIC. PSYCHO APPLEJACK! I can get used to that.
Can I has more?
That is*
I love how I screw up in the first comment of the fanfic.
Please make a story about what happens next. I know you're giving it the classical horror genre ending that is meant to show how the terror isn't over, but still it just seems too good an opportunity. Besides, I've never read a cupcakes-style torture fic where they had AJ as the villain...
111863
While I'm curious what exactly Applejack has in store for Dash I'm not sure that actually describing it would be as interesting as leaving it up to the readers' imaginations, along with all the guessing and dread that accompanies that. This is particularly the case given how common place it is for horror movies to plunge full on into gore, making that which is most dreaded by our psyche utterly banal.
Granted it only does this towards the end as a dark punchline to a rather light fic, but it does it well.
AJ GOING TO RAPE RD SO HARD!!!!!
oh shit rape
Then it turns out this was a dream too. INCEPTION.
WHAT THE BUCK?! PINKIE WAS BAD ENOUGH, BUT APPLEJACK?!
112040 No... It's something much worse. Applejack alone couldn't have done this. She had help. Help that could fuck over the world if he choses.
She has help frm Chuck Norris.
FUCK THIS SHIT! I'M OUTTA HERE!
For love of all that is fucking Good
WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE JUST LET CUPCAKES FUCKING DIE?!
It was a Troll story meant to make the community look bad AND YOU ARE ALL EMBRACING IT.
We look down on clopping BUT SHIT LIKE THIS GETS TO HAPPEN WITHOUT A COUNTER ARGUMENT?!
* RAAAAGGEEE*
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
112631 look at it this way... if "cupcakes" really was a troll fic, it backfired horribly (even causing substancial growth of the community). And isn't that the most wonderful thing of all? I'm feeling all heart-warming's again...
Tracked and 5 stars.
112631
Cupcakes makes sense, My little WTF is a troll fic not that.
Good day.
112678
IT dosent have to make sense to be a troll fic.
So excuse me while i Rage some more.. *ahem*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
112726 (my Kaiser said, I quote: "Cupcakes makes sense", while you seem to suggest the characteristic of trollfic was nonsense, ergo Cupcakes is not a trollfic- or where you trying to say "it doesn't have to make nonsense to be a troll fic"?)
But nevermind, now I'm curious: What's YOUR definition of trollfic?
112726
If it is poorly writtern, has miss named characters, has random sex and gore and is spelt 26% wrong then it is a troll fic.
If not then it is a gore fic.
Just becuase you don't like a certain type of story doesn't mean it's a troll fic.
I don't like Romance that much, so by your reasoning I could call Romance's troll fics.
See.
Good day.
112746>>112795
A Troll : Someone who takes enjoyment from negative reactions from others on the internet. They cause mischief
and all kinds of problems just so they can get a good laugh.
Cupcakes : Cupcakes IMO was created for that very reason, to make people Upset and
Make the creator Laugh, just cause something is well written And dosen't contain random acts of Sex
Or incorrect information dosen't make it any less of a Troll fic To me.
You guys Think what you want, Im still sitting by Cupcakes being a Troll Fic... Mainly cause it made Pinkie Look so bad.
And also, thanks for Correcting me Strasbourg, that is what i meant
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
112827
How does it make her look bad?
She's doing her job and hanging out with her best friend.
What more could you want?
112827
Also it wasn't created 'for a laugh' as you say but to explore what could happen.
And before you say it could happen, most of the stories on his site are just idea's and plots that people have come up with.
It's only negitive to people who don't like gore.
People like myself, believe that it serves as a window into the mind.
We all love Pinkie bean happy and hayper, but a mentalitly like that might get carried away and start thinking that more extreme 'parties' are ok.
Just think for a second, normally they will get old and die or have arguments and go their sperate ways but this way every pony will be togethor forever as one and they will never leave her.
Good day.
112882
Okay just shutup, now i know your joking with me.
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
113092
Not joking.
s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqcf6p5Wob1r0qpm0o1_1280.png?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1325967652&Signature=8Fz0KsQVffb%2FrxGZnSK30kH%2Fr%2Fc%3D
It wasn't a joke.
113121
Emoticon
Stop using the
Its getting old
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
113233
I nearly always use it.
It matches my picture.
Good day.
OH YEA?!
Well my Mustache is a Fluttershy, your Mustache is invalid.
*twiddles The Tail*
Cheers
~iraqlobstah
113251>>113294 you guys are great. I'm honoured to host you on my humble story
113294
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmr69cB1Jk1qi5dsso1_r1_500.jpg
Ezio riding rainbowdash, your piont is invalid.
Good day.
DUN DUN DUUN.
3 words. Sweet. Apple. Massacre. EEEEEYUP!
Wait what did I just read? LOL This was good! I liked it even though it was creepy. Well I'm gonna go now... to better happier things lol