Scientific Method

by ruinology

Question

"...so that's why, I have a problem."

That was the last words of Twilight's presentation to Spike, who was seated in a wooden chair. She expected a range of reactions, boredom, mild interest, apathy— hell, she even expects him sleeping, but what she didn't expect was two pairs of green eyes staring at her with unbidden worry.

"I know, Twi." Spike says in an empathetic voice, as if talking to a wounded creature. Twilight visibly recoiled when she heard it. She knew that her problem was something that should be righteously concerned about, but not to this point of concern. "It's hard, but the first step to overcoming this is admitting you have a problem. I'm glad you're brave enough to speak about it and share it with me."

Twilight blinked, unsure if she should be offended or not. So, after everything she literally said, that was the conclusion he came down to? "Spike, are we on the same wavelength right now? I said I have a problem, not I have a problem."

Spike's expression turned unsure, uncertain as to what she was getting at. She groaned, stuck between reprimanding the dragon or storming off. However, she stood still, unyielding. She was used to ponies zoning out whenever she goes off into a tangent, usually resulting in a one sided conversation, in fact, she wouldn't be surprised if she woke up as an insect one day— watch out Gregor Samsa, she'll be the one doing the Kafkaesque brooding soon.

She sighed, forcing herself to relax her tense muscles. She shouldn't put that much pressure on Spike— he was just a kid after all, and they could be flippant— and extremely brutal— sometimes especially when things don't interest them.

Instead of brewing in frustration, she opted to think of how to explain herself as shortly and succinctly as possible instead. "I...I am in a dilemma."

"Oh!" Then, a minute of silence. "Oh." The realization dawned on his face, before he laughed uncomfortably, "that's what you meant."

"You're just realizing that now?" She asked flatly, purple eyes levelling with his green ones. Immediately, he broke eye contact, guilty of having caught red handed.

"Sorry, Twilight." He looked sheepish. "I wasn't really listening to you." He says, as if it was an actual, valid reason.

"Really, Spike?" Twilight says, brows furrowing. "How? That's all I've been discussing all morning! I even drew diagrams so I could narrow it down for you." The small stick levitated in the air, tapping on the chalkboard behind her, pointing at the several diagrams.

"In my defence—" Spike rushed to rebutt, but fell short halfway, most likely realizing that he really doesn't have a viable defense that wouldn't make him look bad. Twilight just looked at him, awaiting his words with a disgruntled face, the corner of her lips pulled downwards. "I, uh, just generally do not listen. Not just to you— to anypony really. Except for Rarity," his voice turned into a slow, dreamy one as he spoke the mare's name, "I could listen to her voice forever." Then, he snapped, suddenly aware of her standing in front of him. "But other than that I don't listen to anybody! You know me, short attention span and all." He spoke all in one breath as if the words were trying to escape his mouth.

Twilight looked vaguely irritated, before sighing, her eyes softening. She willed herself to speak her thoughts with difficulty. "...that counterargument was so invalid it's valid."

"Thanks!" Spike smiled.

"It's not— that's not—" she threw her head back in frustration, looking up at the ceiling as if it would give her answers.

Seeing her reaction, Spike immediately felt the guilt bubble up, like a red hot shame. Sure, Twilight did tend to get overly wordy, distracted and far too focused, but she meant well. He knew that he should've listened, 'cause whatever problem she's having, it seemed as if it was greatly affecting her.

So, against his will, he says, "how about you go over it again? I swear I will listen this time."

"Are you sure?" She asked slowly, extending an olive branch of escape.

Twilight looked over Spike, who was hunched in his seat, hands fidgeting together. She didn't want to force him to do something he didn't want despite the fact that he did something wrong. However, at the same time, she hoped he didn't accept her offer. Despite the fact that Twilight knew any of her best friends would listen to her, Spike has known her for years, knows her more than she knows herself sometimes.

There could be times that he could get a bit...carried away, but still, he knew when he should right himself, and that was enough for her.

Gulping, he nodded. "Y-yeah! Of course I am. I swear I will be all ears."

There was a thoughtful look that flashed in her face before she lit up. "Oh, thank you Spike!" She exclaimed. Although she did want to start and recap her whole presentation, she knew he would have trouble following, so instead of forcing it, shouldn't she just need to try in a different way? Not only would it be efficient, but Spike would be able to follow. A win-win.

With that in mind, she turned around, grabbing a chalk and began writing on the board. Spike tried to look at what she was writing but to no avail, the unicorn was covering it securely with her body. After a few more failed attempts, he settled down, still fidgeting, but no longer trying to peek.

It took her a few seconds, but, when she was done, Twilight moved to the side, showing him a short list.

1. Dizziness
2. Quick Pulse
3. Flushed Face
4. Shortness of Breathing

"Do you know what these are, Spike?" Twilight says after a moment of silence, levitating the stick once again, pointing at the board.

"A list?"

Twilight nodded patiently. "Other than that. What kind of list do you think this is?"

"Uh," he squinted his eyes, "I don't know, list of symptoms for a heart disease?"

"Correct!" Twilight said with a smile, making Spike stare at her weirdly, one eyebrow arched up. She ignored him, turning to the blackboard once again to write 'Heart Disease'.

"These symptoms could apply to a lot of heart disease. Arrhythmia, Coronary Artery, etcetera-etcetera." She listed. "And at first, I was worried— I thought these symptoms indicated that I had any of those sicknesses."

Spike stood from his chair in panic. "What—?"

"But!" She whipped around, shooting a reassuring smile at him. She used her magic to make him settle down back on his chair, much to his displeasure. "I checked in with the doctors, and told me that nothing was wrong, thankfully. However, the problem was I was still experiencing it." Twilight closed her eyes, as if in deep thought. "That doesn't end there, however. To make the situation worse, I only feel it whenever I'm around someone."

Suddenly, the world slowed down and it was as if Spike was unlocking some fourth dimension point of view.

"It's an odd thing, really—"

1. Dizziness

"— haven't experienced anything like this before. Well, I have, but not as strong as this—"

2. Quick Pulse

"I have made thorough observation of this unusual psyche—"

3. Flushed Face

"I thought about consulting the Princess but decided against it since—"

4. Shortness of Breathing

Oh.

Oh.

Twilight was in love. She was in love and she didn't even realize it. If not love then she was feeling some romantic attraction.

Twilight. Love. Twilight. TwiLove? He cringed— Celestia he will not repeat that word again— no matter how much he forced the word together it was as if they were two different languages.

It's not like he thought Twilight couldn't feel love or like, he knew she does, if the way she stared at him with adoration indicates, but romantic attraction? It was a whole different story, a different field that he knew she was unfamiliar with. The thought of romance and Twilight almost made him grimace. Not because he thinks she's disgusting or that love was disgusting but— just— agh! He doesn't know, it just feels weird. Like super weird, weirder than Twilight's fascination with fish mating— bleugh— and he...she's...it's just like seeing her in a new light, okay?

"And, after thinking about it, I realized what I was feeling towards Rainbow Dash." This was it. This was the moment she— wait, Rainbow Dash? When did Rainbow Dash sneak into the conversation? Has he been so stuck in his own thoughts he missed probably like, a whole monologue?

Wait.

Realization for Spike wasn't slow, no, it was like a bullet; fast and fatal. Shrapnel bits sliced his skin, forcing him out into stupor, face contorting into a look of horror. "Y-you're..." He couldn't say the word, mind scrambling for something to hold onto. "W-with Rainbow Dash!?"

Twilight nodded somberly. "Yes. I..." She looked as if she didn't want to say the word out loud. He wanted to cover his ears just so he can't listen to her admission. He wanted to—

"I hate Rainbow Dash."

What.

"What?"

Before Twilight could speak, Spike stood up, opening his mouth and closing it again like a fish out of water. "Let me backtrack— no no no, clear this up."

"Didn't we just back track?" Twilight asked, looking displeased.

"I know! But—" a sharp inhale, eyes closed, hands in a grip. Oh he's was losing it. He was losing it big time. "This whole thing," he says animatedly, his hands gesturing wildly, "is confusing!"

"I know, right?" Twilight says, nodding emphatically as if both of them were on the same page, when in fact, both of them were in a different book entirely. "Rainbow Dash is my dearest friend; I can't imagine how I could feel that way! I'm a terrible pony."

"No." Spike refuted, soothing the unicorn. "No, you're not. Just— just let me," he exhaled, "I don't know, ask a few question, okay?"

Twilight looked unleaded, but still, she acquiesced with a nod.

"Whenever you're near Rainbow Dash, you feel dizzy."

"Correct."

"And your heart beat quickens."

"Yes."

"Your face flushes."

"Uhuh."

"You can't breath properly."

"Exactly!"

"You're an idiot."

"Right— wait what?"

"Nothing! Nothing." He placed his hands on his face, wondering where Princess Celestia went wrong. Perhaps it's not just her, maybe the blame is on Twilight's family too for cooping and keeping her out of any romance related things— too young, they said, too naive. Nobody deserves Twily. Our perfect Twily. So here was their perfect, sweet, naive Twily, fully grown, paying taxes, and even saved Equestria few times yet completely oblivious to her own feelings.

Sure, Twilight got a high IQ than any pony else, but as a result, her EQ was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Tartarus.

"Are you okay, Spike?" Twilight asked in concern, peeking at his assistant who seemed to have sat himself back to his chair, elbows in his knees and hands planted on his face.

"Couldn't be better." He forced himself not to have a sarcastic tone when he replied. "Just, y'know, thinking over everything."

"It is perplexing, isn't it? I was beffudled at the realization too. And, to further the complexity of the situation, despite the fact that I feel that way to Rainbow Dash, I still want to be beside her." Spike looked at Twilight when she spoke, her face looking as love struck as the poets in ancient times would describe. Her eyes were cloudy, as if reminiscing something far away, and the corner of her lips were lifted in a lopsided smile. "I look forward to seeing her everyday, for some reason."

Because you like her, that's the reason! Even if Spike wanted to spell it out to Twilight, truthfully, he wasn't any better than her parents or brother: he wasn't ready for her to get into a relationship. Awfully self centered sure, but she was his sorta-mother-pseudo-sister alright? If she entered in a relationship, the pony would also be kinda connected to him. They'd ruin the dynamic they already have.

And plus, and he's sure as hell she isn't ready either. Adding to the fact that it was Rainbow Dash, of all ponies? Oh, this was basically a recipe for trouble; a walking magic powerhouse with chaos on the tip of her horn and a flying hurricane of disaster in guise of a pegasus.

He won't tell her, but he won't stop her either, unlike her family. She was at a point in her life where she stood in front of the branch in the road wherein two paths lie; the sunny paths of happily ever after or the dreary heartbreak. Celestia would be proud of him for doing this.

"Can I say something, Twilight?" He readied himself, rearranging his thoughts just like how Twilight catalogues her books.

"Sure! A fresh opinion is never to be turned down." She says.

"I think this is more than just hatred." He says slowly, accentuating his words as if trying to prove a point. "I mean, isn't it basically uh, whad'ya call this, an oxytociron?"

"Oxymoron." She corrected. "But I think that word you're looking for is contradictory. Oxymoron applies to a figure of speech with contradicting words—" she paused, scrunching her nose, "sorry, that's all besides the point. Go on."

"It's fine." He reassured. Twilight's rambling gave him time to properly construct his next words. "So, uh, contradictory right! You feel these...feelings of hatred for her, but still want to be near her? For me, I don't think that's as simple as hatred. I don't know what it is," a lie, a barely concealed one, but Twilight can't distinguish lie from the truth even if it wore a brightly colored shirt, "but you can't just chalk it up as something as simple as hatred."

Twilight looked thoughtful, seemingly considering his words. He felt nervous, awkwardly smiling as if trying to cover up a heinous crime, but to his relief— and honestly, to no one's surprise— she seemed to nod, agreeing with him.

"You're right. I did think it was contradictory, but I was unsure since all these symptoms describe the feeling of hatred." Spike forced himself not to facepalm. "I think I should do a research on this. This would be an interesting topic; not only is it not my area or expertise, I could also learn more about friendship. Specifically my friendship with Rainbow Dash."

"Yeah!" He agreed, before processing what she said. "Wait. Research? Research paper?"

"Yes!" She says. "I believe this would help me examine my interpersonal relationship with people. I'm sure the Princess would be happy about it."

"You mean humored." Spike mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I think so too!" Spike immediately corrected himself. "The Princess would find this a delightful read." By delightful, Spike meant she'd probably be snorting while reading every paragraph of her research. She'd probably categorize it as comedy when Twilight wasn't looking.

"So this marks the beginning of my first ever Friendship Research: Examining the Conflicting Emotions that Twilight Sparkle has for Rainbow Dash." As she spoke, she wrote her title on the board. Then, as an extra, she wrote at the bottom: What is the complicated feeling I feel whenever I am near Rainbow Dash?

Spike thinks that if the paper ever got hard bounded, Twilight would forever carry the humiliation with her, and Spike would be on the sidelines, laughing. Princess Celestia would probably be beside him, trying, but failing, to hide her amused giggle.

"That's a great idea, Twi!" It wasn't, but despite his reservation, he thinks this has to be one of the most hilarious memory he'll ever have. Maybe he could bring this up in the future Heart's Warning Eve Dinner. It'd be funny, for him anyways, and probably any pony else.

Who knows, maybe Rainbow Dash would be beside Twilight by then, comforting her but snickering all while.

Author's Note:

I am in firm belief that Twilight would make literature references in her head to whatever character that has even the tiniest similarities to be situation. Additionally, she'd be the type to write shitty prose when she was young or a story that's starts with "on one stormy night in Canterlot" and go of into tangent about her life. She'd probably enjoy the obligatory reading of classic literature and think she's superior than anybody else for enjoying it— she's so me.

This chapter was more of an exposition to be honest, I didn't want this story to just be focused on TwiDash's relationship but other's reaction to it. At first I wanted Spike to be supportive as a whole, but upon further watching and read through of his character, he won't be thrilled by the idea but he won't be opposed. I want to dig deeper but that'll be reserved for the next chapter.

Comments

[King Ice]

11885686
Totally agree; my favorite mlp ship by far

[Leviathan Eclipse]

A bit of advice I give to all fellow writers. Go back through the story with the auto reader and listen for spelling errors as well as make sure everything flows well. I noticed some misspelled words but other than that, this is definitely one of the more interesting twidash stories I've read.

[Unintelligent]

Loving it so far

[Tinaangelica]

I created an account solely to tell you that this is the most in-character MLP fanfic I've read since my days of hyper-fixation on the fandom from a while back. :) Twilight making neato literature references 24/7 that repeatedly confuse me? YUP SOUNDS TWILIGHT LMAO and she got that finicky energy down point in your characterization here if you know what I mean. And seeing as Rainbow Dash was always my favorite and I was like the hugest hyper fan growing up, I'm happy to see how she's characterized so far too and boy would it be so very very cool if we got her POV somewhere down the line as well. Either way tho I love it.

You got Spike down too to a T, haha. Is it bad that Spike rapidly trying to backtrack after an entire morning of being spoken to and figure out what the heck was being said while he was barely paying attention is mood to me? 💀 and this-- just-- the entire verbal onslaught of obvious crush tells, and--

"You're an idiot."

"Right-- what, wait?"

LMAO I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CANNOT XD

It's just such a Twilight thing to do, I can't breathe jdfshfsjdf

It's all got your own good twist and silly spice to it-- (I have never seen or imagined a scene with Twilight and Rainbow Dash conspiring to eliminate the dastardly walls of the nation before for example, but, hey, I never knew how much I needed it LOL) while still so staying true to the characters, and it's all making me smile so much to read! So, kudos! I really hope to see more from you and that this fanfic is seen through to the end.

MLP came out when I was 5 and ended when I was like... 14, so safe to say I have a long childhood of lots of fond memories. I've been on a bit of a nostalgic hunt for well-written MLP fanfics, and this one's certainly a breath of fresh air, plus a barrel of laughs and giggles in my book so far. :)

Thanks for sharing with us, hope you're having fun and hope ya have a nice day!

[CollieryXD]

The characterisations are ON POINT. The rambles of twlight make everything feel more like her.

AND NOT TO MENTION SPIKES DIALOGUE,those little comments he lets out just made my day.

Even funnier to me is that Twilight doesn't even seem to acknowledge the comments lmao.