Metagaming

by Snowday_Pegasus

00_Initializing

Author's Note:

While I provided a quick summary of the overarching official PVCF23 story that set off these events, if you wish to read it in a bit more detail, the prologue for "Scattered Pages" can be found here. It spells out the nature of the Book of All Stories more clearly, and also provides some more insight into Fizzy Glitch's present psychological state. https://ponyvilleciderfest.com/opening-from-scattered-pages/

…while their boat, Wavedancer, sped away from shore, Daring Do and Caballeron watched the Island of Ypol slowly disappear back into the spectral fog that had kept it hidden for thousands of moons.

The volcano, after sleeping for countless years, would wait no longer to vent its anger towards the two interlopers, but fog reduced its orange fire to nothing more than a pale glow. Ypol’s rumbling was drowned out by the boat’s twin motors.

The spectral fog eventually released its embrace of Wavedancer, just in time to witness Celestia’s golden orb cast its final evening rays across the horizon.

Daring let out a sigh. “Well, you can’t win them all, I suppose.”

“Are you so certain of that, my witty amiga?” Caballeron reached into his saddlebag and produced the mechanical gold cube. “Looks like even though we’re collaborating, I still found a way to outsmart you.” He pridefully laughed, twirling it around on his hoof.

“You got it! How did–”

“I craftily switched the real one for a fake while the Sentinel was chasing you all over the altar room.”

“I must admit, sometimes those thieving skills of yours come in very handy.”

“I do not thieve. I merely… reappropriate.”

Daring Do smiled, a rare sight for her arch nemesis to see. The Anthytoykara was safe, and on its way to the museum.

The End.

A.K. Yearling sighed, pushed her glasses to the top of her head, and rubbed her eyes. “It’s a start, at least.”

From the couch, sipping a Cider-rita, Dr. Caballeron said, “But not a bad first draft for our first joint expedition?”

Yearling slid the laptop away, stood up, and stretched. “Any expedition you can trot away from with a piece of history is a good one.” She added with a smirk, “Even with a bothersome sidekick.”

“Sidekick? Is that what you’re going to call me?”

“I love how it’s ‘sidekick’ that you protested, and not ‘bothersome.’ Do you have a better suggestion?”

“You could…inject a touch of romance between the two protagonists?” Caballeron waggled his eyebrows.

Yearling said monotonously, “We’re not dating.”

“Creative license. Like the trap door you opened and then scared away the scorpions with a torch. You omitted that you fell in and, in your panic, knocked over a wall sconce that scattered the little beasties.” He laughed at the dagger eyes she shot his way. “I’m just saying, it would probably sell more copies. Everycreature loves a good ship story.”

“The only good ship in this story is the one that got us off the island.”

“Oh…kay.” He cleared his throat. “Speaking of creative license, the Anthytoykara still isn’t at the museum, is it?” He walked over to the metal cube, resting quietly on an end table. Caballeron admired the configuration of silver and brass gears and ornate nested circles on its otherwise smooth surface. He tapped on it gently and listened to the tinny ringing sound. “Are you still going to give it to them?”

“The more I think about it, the less comfortable I am. I haven’t even told them we recovered it yet. The tales of it give me a chill, and I don’t want it disappearing into Starswirl’s forbidden section, never to be seen again.”

Mocking Canterlot’s elite, Caballeron explained, “We have top stallions working on the Anthytoykara, Daring Do. Top… stallions.”

“Besides, Starswirl would accidentally open a gateway to limbo or something.”

Caballeron chuckled. “Why rush the story to print, though? Once it’s out, everycreature is going to want to see the new treasure.”

“I was supposed to have until summer. Now they want it in time for Hearth’s Warming.”

“Why so early?”

“My guess is they’re worried about the A.I. craze.”

“Oh. That.”

“Of course, it was postmarked today, so it might be that with this strange interdimensional cross-rift going on, they want to take advantage of these odd creatures to boost sales.”

“I admire your publisher’s opportunistic ambition.”

“You would.”

“I can’t say I mind the odd creat– what do they call themselves again?”

“Bronies.”

It was a topic that was impossible to ignore even for a short time. Sure, they figured infinite worlds could exist and so nearly every possible reality was up for grabs, but not something this precise. Caballeron and Yearling remarked on everything that had happened since their sudden arrival in this strange place called ‘Hilton’ after being sucked through some odd portal.

The interactions with the hotel guests so far had been paradoxical. They didn’t know any of the Bronies at all, and yet the Bronies knew them. Caballeron likened it to having amnesia, going home for Hearth’s Warming, and being welcomed as family by total strangers. Yearling tried to rationalize it with some kind temporal asynchronicity. Perhaps years later, they would go back in time and meet them in the past? They both wished it were something that made even that much logical sense, but they knew real the culprit: The Book of All Stories. It made them even more uneasy than the Anthytoykara. There was some implication behind the book that they couldn’t pinpoint. Instead of continuing to dwell on it, Caballeron tried to focus on the positives.

“The hotel– to be honest, when I first saw the mane hall, I thought this place was a royal palace. Everything here is so luxurious, and the Bronies so cordial. I haven’t been treated this well since the time I convinced the Hippoi Island Ponies that I was their coconut god.”

“You told me they made you their god,” Yearling argued.

“I lied.”

Yearling sighed. “Of course you did. I can’t argue with the treatment either though– it just feels…too good to be true. Both them, and this world. Something is fundamentally off; the colors, the textures, the strange shadows, the way the air feels, even the physics. It’s alien in a way that I can’t explain. And there’s the fact that their ‘weekend party’ seemed tailor-made specifically for us, even though our arrival here was supposedly an accident. This Book of All Stories chaos has really–”

A flash of white light briefly illuminated the room, heralding the arrival of a familiar draconequus. Dangling upside down from the ceiling, Discord asked, “Did somepony in here say…chaos?”

Caballeron groaned. “Why aren’t you out hunting for pages?”

Discord replied, “I would be, if I didn’t have so many simping minions willing to do it for me. But mostly I’m watching out for Fluttershy; it’s very hard work at a convention like this. You wouldn’t believe how many attendees have made advances. I’ve had to send a whole gaggle of them into a parallel dimension!” He melodramatically placed the back of his hand to his forehead, looking like he might faint. “My work is never done.”

Yearling reacted with concern. “Another… dimension?”

“Oh, they’re fine. They’re playing musical statues with Bluey.”

Caballeron asked, “And your visit has what to do with Fluttershy?”

Discord merely answered by giving him a scrutinizing glare.

Caballeron was perplexed. “Me? What did I do?”

Discord said, “You have been changed for the better by dear Fluttershy, and I never know if perhaps your heart has begun to… well… flutter.”

“Fluttershy? With two T’s? Well, I mean, she’s nice. But, no, not really.”

“Not really?” Discord’s eyes burned. “Not good enough for Conquistador Caballeron, is she?”

“Sweet Celestia,” Caballeron groaned.

“I thought you said everycreature liked a good shipping story?” Yearling smirked.

Caballeron sighed, “Can we just drop it?”

Discord asked, “So, what’s all of this about A.I.?”

A.K. Yearling rolled her eyes. “It stands for Artificial Intelligence.”

Discord said, “Artificial… intelligence. Fake smart? Sounds like cheating on an exam.”

Yearling said, “It sort of is. A.I. takes information from artists and uses it to create its own works.”

Discord asked, “This is bad… how?”

Yearling sneered. “Because it will make the work of countless creators obsolete!”

Discord retreated slightly. “But isn’t this the way of the world?” He prodded the Anthytoykara gears, causing them to spin momentarily. “The wheels of progress must continue to tur–”

Caballeron interrupted, “Would you want a robot to steal your chocolate rain, use it to make a cake the size of Mt. Everhoof, and take all of the credit?”

Discord’s body shrunk to one-tenth his regular size. “Oh, that doesn’t sound fun at all. Yes, Ms. Yearling, I can see why that would be a problem.”

“And that’s only the tip of the iceberg,” Yearling said. “It’s nothing shy of an existential crisis! A.I. could destroy everything.”

Discord inflated back to his normal height. “Now, this time I’m sure you’re exaggerat–” A shattering sound startled them, drawing their attention to a broken desk lamp on the floor.

Yearling began, “How did–” Then they saw it. Hovering near the ceiling was a strange azure vapor. The three creatures gawked as points of light randomly twinkled across its translucent surface.

“What is that, and how did it get in here?” Yearling asked.

“Something of yours?” Caballeron asked Discord.

“I wish I could take credit, but I don’t even know what it is.”

Yearling said, “Well, let’s get rid of it before it breaks something else.”

“I’ll get it.” Discord snapped his fingers and a cage materialized around the alien form. It passed straight through the bars before the cage even had a chance to fall. Discord pouted, “Fillies and Gentlecolts, the famous escape artist, Cloudini!”

The cobalt-tinted wisp darted over to the laptop and examined the screen. Yearling slowly reached for her whip. Caballeron clapped his forehooves together, staring down the abnormality. Now wielding a catcher’s net, Discord was clad in an animal control officer’s uniform.

Yearling said, “All right, here’s the plan…”

For the next few minutes, hotel guests one floor down looked at the ceiling with confusion, listening to the muffled sounds of what was presumably an impromptu not-so-professional wrestling match between a number of angry elephants.

Back inside the ‘ring,’ multiple chairs had been knocked over, a lamp flickered, Discord’s net had only ensnared Doctor Caballeron, and A.K. Yearling was lost in a pile of clothing beneath a now-broken closet rod. During the brief reprieve, the intruder dove into the Anthytoykara device. Their humiliating performance complete, the three stooges collected themselves and approached the ancient cube.

With a flurry of sparks, the gears started spinning. Caballeron said, “The bad news is, it got inside of our priceless artifact. The good news is, I think we’re about to find out what our priceless artifact does.”

“Are you sure that’s good news?” Yearling asked. With a plume of crimson smoke, the Anthytoykara projected a slender red beam into Yearling’s laptop. A tiny light then traveled along the beam into the screen.

“What in Celestia’s name is happening?” Caballeron asked. An abrupt knock at the door caused them all to jump. “Now, what?”

Caballeron cautiously opened the door. Amazingly, it wasn’t hotel security responding to a concerned call. It was a worried Princess Luna, trying to catch her breath. The moment she saw “Dog Catcher” Discord, a look of anger came over her. “Oh, of course you’re mixed up in this.”

Discord pointed to the “official” badge on his uniform. “My visit is purely professional, I assure you.”

Luna sighed. “Did you see a glittering blue cloud?”

“Glittering blue cloud?” Discord giggled. “I haven’t seen a glittering blue cloud.” He looked at Yearling and Caballeron. “Either of you?”

Yearling raised her eyebrow and then quickly answered, “It infested an ancient relic, and now there’s an enchanted beam shooting into my laptop.”

“Oh, that blue cloud? It was more of a glittering indigo cloud.” Discord shrugged.

Yearling looked at the beam again and then followed its path to the monitor. “Wait a minute.” She looked more closely at the text on the screen.

...and their boat, Wavedancer, went away from the shore really fast.

Daring Do and Caballeron looked at Ypol Island which entered the fog. The fog had hidden it from lots of moons.

The volcano, which was very tired, got mad at Daring Do and Caballeron. The fog made the fire orange and not bright. The boat's engines were louder than Ypol's noises.

The fog let the boat get away, and Celestia's golden thing went down in the sky.

Daring was like, "Oh well, we can't always win."

Caballeron was like, "Not so. I'm smart. Look!" He showed a gold cube. He was tricky.

Daring was surprised, "How?"

"I made it fake when the Sentinel got busy."

"Your stealing skills help sometimes."

"I don't steal, I just borrow."

Daring smiled at Caballeron. They were sort of friends now. The Anthytoykara was safe and going to a museum.

“Did I get hacked?” Yearling wondered.

Caballeron asked, “What is it?”

“It’s like someone completely rewrote the manuscript.”

Discord looked closer. “It almost looks like an A.I. modified it.”

Yearling noted, “You said you didn’t know what an A.I. was.”

“I knew the whole time. I asked anyway, in case the reader didn’t know.”

“What are you talking about?” Yearling asked.

“Well it might not be a great exposition, but it’s something.” Discord shrugged.

Luna interjected, “What you saw in here was a Tantabus.”

“Another Tantabus?” Yearling remarked. “I thought there was only the one you created?”

“Far from it,” Luna said. “Any creature can create a Tantabus. They manifest from self-loathing while haunting the dreams of their host. Only mine ever gained enough strength to become a threat…until this weekend. Tantabi are also looking for pages. This one succeeded, which is how it escaped into the waking world.”

“Can you get it out of my computer?”

“Unfortunately, no. But I might know somepony who can help. I’ll be right back.”