The Many Tales of Pipsqueak and the Pirates

by Muleicous

Ch 4: In which Pip saves Diamond

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon stood in awe of the huge ship in front of them. Never in a million years did the two fillies think they’d ever see a ship so big, even Tiara’s family yacht was a dingy compared to this mammoth of a vessel. The pink filly was the first to say something, he head held high as she turned to her friend.

“Well... I’m goin’ home.”

“Wait!” Silver Spoon said, her face looking as steady as stone, “We came here so you could apologize to Pip, so I’m not letting you leave till you say you’re sorry Dia.”

“Oh come on Spoony, look at that thing!” Diamond pointed her hoof at the large ship, “It’s bigger than my house, and you’ve seen how big my house is.”

“Yeah, your house is pretty big... But that’s not the point. The point is that you need to patch things up with your coltfriend.”

“He’s not my coltfriend! He’s not even my friend, you’re my friend and even I wouldn’t go into that place to find you.” Tiara covered her mouth with her hoof as soon as she realized what she said. The grey filly stared at her friend, dumbstruck, until tears began to roll out of her eyes. Silver Spoon ran from her friend faster than the poor filly had ever ran before, a stream of tears falling from her face as her hooves thundered away.

“Spoony! Silver!” Diamond called to her friend, “Come on, you know I didn’t mean it! I just... I don’t want to go in there...” The rich pony looked down at the dirt under her, kicking it as she stared at a small puddle made by her friend’s tears. “What the buck is wrong with me?”

“Such language comin’ from a lil filly.” A large Diamond Dog said, towering behind the sulking pony. His long blue coat billowing in the sudden wind, his Jolly Rodger tag jingling on his collar. “Dinn’t your parents ever teach you any manners?”

Diamond opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. She froze in front of the big, grey beast out of shock and fear. Spot cocked his head to the side and picked the filly up by her tail, which somehow had become so frozen in fear that it was stiff and held her body up as well. The first mate just chalked that up to some odd special talent that this little filly had. “Honestly lil’ girl, I’da let ya go off ta yer friend,” Spot lied, “but, ya be wearin’ some pretty expensive headgear there.” The Diamond Dog pirate pointed at the pink filly’s crystal, diamond studded tiara. “And, as ya probably be knowin’, I be a Diamond Dog. And we Diamond Dogs just love our diamonds.” With that, the lumbering first mate of Captain Guld’s crew made his way back to his ship, unaware that a set of bespeckled eyes were watching him just through the brush.

***

Pipsqueak finished his second bowl of ice cream with gusto, feeling much better after an afternoon of singing and bothering Guld’s crew to go on a treasure hunt. The spotted foal sat on his cushion and watched Hungry Jack start preparing dinner for the entire crew. He could see the disgust in the chef pony’s eyes as he placed a huge chicken into the oven.

“Why do you make them things that you don’t want to make?” Pip asked, licking his ice cream spoon clean.

“Well boyo, it’s because of one simple fact.” Hungry Jack looked right into the foal’s eyes, not blinking as he stated, “Never say no to the cap’in.”

“But what if he told you to jump off the cliff?” the pirate loving pony asked, remembering Diamond Tiara saying something similar to Apple Bloom when she had to help her big sister with something.

“You best be believing I’d be at the bottom of that cliff faster then you can say ‘Oi! Look a’im jump!’”

“Ah, he isn’t that scary.” Pipsqueak replied, “I bet old Captain Whitehorn could take him down!”

“Whitehorn aye?” the cold calm voice of Capt. Guld said from behind Pipsqueak. Hungry Jack fumbled to salute, while Pip turn turned around in fear. “Boy, do you know exactly how old Whitehorn died?”

“Um... uh... N-no.” the spotted foal answered truthfully.

Guld smiled and pulled a long, black bladed cutlass from a guard at his side. “This blade, my blade, took his life with one quick slice.” The captain poked Pip’s cushion with the tip of the sword, “And if’n I dinn’t like yer spirit so much, i’d have cut you open like a guppy the moment I saw ya.” Capt. Culd paused, his eyes looking from Hungry to Pip and back, “Now get yer hides to the deck. We’ve got a prisoner to be dealin’ with.”

***

The crew was silent as the grave when Capt. Guld emerged from below deck. The old sea Diamond Dog took his place behind the wheel of the ship, while Pipsqueak and Hungry Jack tried to find a place in the circle of their fellow crew mates. In the center of the ring was a small burlap sack, much like the one Spot had carried Pip to the ship in only a day before. As soon as that thought crossed the Trottingham foal’s mind, the distinct sound of metal hitting wood echoed throughout the air of the Shadow Mare.

“Oy, the lot of ya!” Spot called out from beside his captain. “We have a little trespasser that we need to take care of, if you catch my drift.” As quick as a whip, one of the crew men sliced open the sack, and Diamond Tiara came tumbling out.

“Diamond!” Pipsqueak cried as he rushed towards his classmate, “Are you ok?”

“Cabin Boy Pip,” Guld began, his paw rubbing his chin as he watched the spectical, “who, exactly, be this wench?”

“Wench?!” the pink earth filly yelled as she stood, “I am Diamond Tiara! My father’s Filthy Rich, owner of Rich’s Barnyard Bargains, and he’s the richest pony in this part of Equestria! He could buy and sell each and everyone of you dirty street performers!” As Tiara panted, she ran out of breath telling the pirate crew off in such a short amount of time, Guld and all thirty of his Dogs and ponies just stared at the small, angry filly in shock... And then they laughed their tails off.

“St-Street performers she says!” Spot hollered as he slapped his knees, trying to keep from falling.

“Be careful Spot,” Guld said, slowly cracking a smile, “‘er daddy could buy and sell each of us!” The crew couldn’t hold back anymore, and as if they had planned it out in advance, each of them fall to the deck like a row of dominoes.

“Wh... What’s so funny?” Diamond Tiara asked Pipsqueak (who was rolling around on the deck, nearly turning blue from laughing.)

“Th-They aren’t performers Tiara!” the small foal said in between laughs, “They-They’re real pirates! Like I told you!”

“R...Real pirates?” Diamond asked out loud.

“Yeah! And they’ll probably hold you for ransom, so you’re dad will pay out the nose to get you back!” Pipsqueak was slowly getting his hoofing back, the laughter had been like his first voyage at sea. Of course, Captain Guld was the first to break out of the spell of pure, unadulterated laughter.

“Hmm... Pip me boy, I think you may have an idea there.” the aged captain said, “I was just going to keelhaul the lass, but if her papa really is as rich as she says she is...”

“I think she’s tellin’ the truth Cap’in,” Spot said, holding up Tiara’s tiara, “how else would a lil ragamuffin like ‘er have such a pretty pretty on her noggin?” Guld snatched the jewel encrusted head piece from his first mate, and examined it closely.

“I dunno Spotty, looks a bit fabricated to me.” the captain then turned to the regal, and only, unicorn in his crew, “Eyefer, get yer flank over here and do yer job!”

“Oui oui captain.” the vest and cape wearing unicorn, Eyefer Zetail, said as he rushed to the wheel of the ship. Gently, the odd pony levitated the small crown in front of his face, and studied every tiny curve and cross of Diamond’s most prized possession. “Sir, I believe that la jolie pouliche es telling the truth. This tiara, under my estimate of course, is worth about three-thousand bits.”

“Th...Thr thr thr... Three-thousand for this little thing?” Guld stammered as he scratched one of the shining diamonds on the tiara with his claw, which didn’t leave a scratch.

“Mais oui.” Eyefer said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Well then..” the captain looked down at Diamond, his latest haul, “We seem to have a new guest on board. Least till her papa gives us a haul one-hundred times her worth.”

Comments

[Muleicous]

1648793
Yeah... I'm gonna fix that. Sorry.

[TheSexyMenhir]

Chapter1: Awww, this is gonna be cute
Chapter2: Awww, this is cute
Chapter3: Sweet Celestia what just happened ?

[Muleicous]

1656855
So much.