A Cornish Wedding
It was once again holiday season in Cornwall, and this meant the annual flood of tourists returning to the county to visit holiday homes and enjoy the scenic delights that the friendly little county had to offer.
Porter had no involvement with such a train. Instead, he was on goods duty. He rolled down the slope into the harbour with a short train of vans. These were bound for various sidings within the harbour, and it was Porter's job to shunt them all.
Porter was uncoupled from his trucks by Rocky, and was then run round the formation in preparation for shunting duties. Just before he was about to set off, a member of dock crew walked over.
"Greetings my fine lad!" he said. "It's a nice day for it, isn't it?"
Rocky was confused. "Nice day for what, exactly? There are many things one can do on a sunny day, such as surfing, swimming, enjoying an ice cream, getting heat stroke... were you thinking of one in particular?"
"Isn't your aunt getting married today?" the docker said.
Rocky's eyes widened. "Ooh. That's what you meant. Yes, she is. It's not until the afternoon, though, so I can get some work done here, do some styling at Mane Melody, then scoot up to Falmouth for the ceremony. Nice and easy."
"I didn't know you had an aunt," Porter said.
"I have an aunt, not an isn't," Rocky replied.
"Still, let's get this lot put away instead of dawdling about on points of grammar," Porter sighed. And away they went.
Putting the vans away took less time than expected, and this gave Rocky time to pop into town to ensure all was in order. He was about to collect his clothes when suddenly his phone buzzed.
He picked it out of his pocket, and saw it was his mother. He answered it. "Hi mom! Is everything OK?"
"If only it were," his mother replied. "As you probably know, it is convention to give the bride a good luck package. There's only one problem- the person we assigned to take it to the post office wrote the wrong address down. Last I heard it was in Thurso, not Truro."
"How do you manage that? Mix up Truro and Thurso?" Rocky asked.
"You do if you're the sort of person who thinks York and Edinburgh are a stone's throw away from each other." There was a pause. "We'll have to find something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue at very short notice."
Rocky glanced about for anything that might be considered any of those. "Well, we've got plenty of old things to choose from down in Falmouth, if you know what I mean!"
"Perfect! Bring one of them with you!" The line then closed.
Rocky placed his suit in a suit bag and place that in a waterproof travel bag. He wasn't get this one dirty for anything, even if he looked ridiculous in it. When he arrived at the shed to take Porter back into duty, he noticed Rebecca had pulled in. "So, we're sorted for something old-"
"Hey!" Porter said.
"But we're missing the others."
"What's the problem?" Rebecca asked. "You looking for old things?"
"Short version of the story; my aunt's good luck package for her wedding got delivered to the wrong end of the country. Mom's asked me to scrape one together out of stuff we can find. I'm missing something new, something borrowed, and something blue."
"They're probably staring you in the face," Rebecca smiled. "I'm off to take some guests up to Truro. See you later!"
As she puffed away, Porter had an idea. "I assume you're using me as the old thing," he said.
"I hope you don't mind," Rocky said.
"I'm only 95, so I'm hardly an antique," Porter said. "And something new could be something like... now what's that over there?"
A DMU was sitting in the carriage sidings. It was a Sprinter, to be exact, and its blue paintwork gleamed in the summer sun. "What are you two looking for?" it asked.
"Could we borrow you for a good luck package?" Rocky asked. "We need something new, something borrowed, and something blue. You're a lot newer than most of the rolling stock here, you're borrowed, and you're blue, so you fulfill all three remaining criteria."
"For a wedding?" the DMU said. "Of course, dear boy! When's the event?"
"This afternoon."
"I think I should have the time. I'm not due back at Fishguard until tomorrow morning, so that's plenty of time."
The time came, and this increasingly wacky formation began to make its way up towards Truro. The DMU was doing most of the work, and keeping pace proved to be remarkably simple with the light timetable in force that day. As they rolled through Perranwell, they heard a voice.
"Hello, you two! Off somewhere?"
"Yes, actually!" Porter said. "Good luck package, mobile edition!"
"Could I come with you?" Clara asked. "I would qualify as both old and borrowed."
Rocky liked the sound of that. "Let's take you with us!"
The increasingly bizarre train continued on its way towards Truro, pausing at the signals at Penwithers Junction to let a passenger train pass through. When the signal had cleared, they rolled into the platform and stopped.
"Looks like somebody beat us to it!" Porter said.
On the facing platform was Ray, who was coupled to Salty, a modern looking diesel, and some blue trucks. Jazz looked over. "Two good luck packages?" she said.
"Yeah, what's going on here?" Rocky asked.
"Your mom asked me to try and put one together in case you didn't manage to assemble one in time," Jazz explained. "In our case, the blue trucks are something blue, and Salty is the something borrowed. The diesel is something new, as that was built in 2019, and Ray is the something old!"
"Looks like the bride is going to be doubly lucky today," Porter said. "Just how are we supposed to get this lot to the cathedral?"
Luckily, they didn't have to take them anywhere. The crew had gone to attend the service, after having changed into their best clothes, and then returned to the station afterwards.
"I know it's not quite what you were expecting," Rocky said to his aunt, "but here's two good luck packages. Multiple things of old, new, borrowed, and blue."
His aunt smiled. "It's not the exact objects that matter. It's the thought that counts. Now then, I believe that one important task remains- travelling to the reception!"
"Well, we've got plenty of space in these formations," Porter said. "Take your pick!"
As the gigantic cavalcade set off, back towards Falmouth, the people involved were happy. And never once did it ever occur to them that complete chaos was breaking out with the others. But that's a story for another day.
This story is an adaptation of Happy Ever After, an episode from the Fifth season of Thomas and Friends. Seeing as Old Slow Coach is a key character in the story, adapting this one was a no-brainer. Although the internal logic of the narrative is a bit wonky at points, it's still a good deal better than anything Sharon Miller wrote.
The aunt/isn't conversation is a reference to British pronunciation conventions. In some parts of the country, aunt is said with a long A, as in aardvark. In some parts of the country, it is said with a short A, as in app. As aunt, when said with a long A, is identical in pronunciation to the word 'aren't', this led to a joke where Northerners would ask Southerners how their isn't was doing.
Finally, the two diesels are these:
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awesome chapter mate keep it up cant wait for the chapter
11605151
This is it for a bit.
Um ok?
Whoops!
wasn't getting*
Indeed.
11605332
1. As noted in the author's note it's a joke about word pronunciation in the UK.
2. A rather serious gaffe, eh?
3. Corrected.
4. That is indeed the correct spirit.
Wow. This was a good chapter.
I always found the way they made the Good Luck Package in the episode quite unique. Those shiny new buffers were my favorite part of it.
11605420
Glad you enjoyed. The episode is an excellent case study in improvisation; rather than despair over how something hasn't worked, make something work with what you have available.