What The Flip?

by Serval Shots

Ch. 1 Festering Plans

There were 3 penguins standing in extremely white snow, completely unaffected by the harsh winds scathing their bodies & the snow flurries constantly blasting their faces. To any human who could observe them in these harsh conditions, these penguins would seem to just be normal penguins. That could not be anymore wrong, one of the penguins stepping forward & speaking out loud to prove it.

“General Flopper, have the troops been informed?” asked the penguin who had stepped forward.

A smaller penguin to his left nodded, swinging his flipper up in a salute.

“Yes Emperor Short Flip, the troops have been prepared as requested!”

Emperor Short Flip laughed in a slightly maniacal manner, brining both of his flippers behind his back in a much disciplined style.

“Good..very good General. I am most-“

But before Emperor Short Flip could finish his sentence, a penguin belly-flopping in the distance screamed out loud, attempting to get the attention of the three penguins.

“Who dares interrupt Emperor Short Flip!? I shall have them executed!”

The belly flopping penguin finally slid over to the three penguins, clearly exhausted & out of breath. Emperor Short Flip glared down at the puny penguin, pressing his claw down on the penguin.

“Explain your pitiful presence! Now!” Emperor Short Flip hollered, exerting more pressure on the grounded penguin.

The penguin on the floor caught his breath, speaking as soon as he could.

“Oh great Emperor spare my insignificant life but I bring terrible news.”

“Well, what is it? Spit it out. Spit it out!” Emperor Short Flip shouted out loud hysterically.

“Sector A, B, C, & D have all broken away. I’m afraid to say this but our land is literally melting. The humans have launched a counterplan known as “Global Warming”, which has devastated our infrastructure and means of living.”

Emperor Short Flip’s eyes widen so much that his dark head almost became white.

“No! No! NO! NO! Those damn humans! THEY SHALL PAY!! WE WILL CONQUER THEMMM!” Emperor Short Flip yelled psychotically, stepping off the penguin on the ground and flailing his flippers around crazily, his eyes almost bulging out of his sockets.

Emperor Short Flip’s military advisors on both of his sides looked at him with confusion, as their great and magnificent leader literally lost it for a while, something the Emperor rarely shows.

“How did they know? HOW DID THEY KNOW!!!!?? WHAT THE FLIPPP!” The Emperor kept shouting above the wind, screeching to himself in a fit of rage and hissing.

General Flopper and the other two penguins looked upon the Emperor, their dubiousness undeniable in his questionable leadership.

“General Flopper you must realize the Emperor is mad! We cannot conquer the entire human race! Not by ourselves anyways.” Said the other general standing next to General Flopper.

General Flopper looked over to the other general, giving him a look of repugnance as if he was insulted.

“How dare you question the undeniable might of our species! It doesn’t matter if we are outnumbered because we will always be mightier than any pitiful human. You must be a human spy, which is why you are saying these treacherous things! You know what that means General Furry, I must eliminate you because you are a threat to the Emperor..”

General Furry looked back at General Flopper in horror as General Flopper brought up his laser pistol and without hesitation, fired immediately, the red laser burning a massive hole in General Furry’s former head. The penguin on the ground looked at General Flopper with utmost horror, shocked at how ruthless General Flopper was.

“You’re next if we don’t start planning to save the others. Get up Private.”

The Private nodded and got up, making sure not to maintain eye contact with the General.

“Private, get the other army groups. Well the ones that survived anyway. Get them prepped and ready; we’re going to initiate Operation PORTALZ.”

“Operation PORTALZ? I thought that was only experimental! The travel portal hasn’t even been fully constru-“

“Are you questioning orders Private!?”

“No sir!”

“Then what are you waiting for? Dismissed!”

The Private nodded his head, belly-flopping to the north in order to alert the rest of the army. General Flopper looked back at the inanimate General Furry and scoffed, kicking his dead body over, blasting his dead body once more for effect and letting the snow build up around the body. General Flopper looked at the Emperor, who was spinning in circles and yelling at himself.

“Well, time to get the Emperor back.”

General Flopper waddled over to the Emperor, smacking him in the head with his flipper. The Emperor almost toppled over, stumbling back in shock and disbelief that his most trusted general had just struck him.

“How DARE YOU GENERAL FLOPPER!? I SHALL HAVE YOU HANGED!”

“Well he’s back. Kinda of.” The general said to himself, almost even laughing at the Emperor’s silly reaction.

Emperor Short Flip’s face became red as he commanded General Flopper to evacuate him immediately. General Flopper did, the both of them heading towards where the Private had gone earlier towards the igloo station in order to use the travel portal. Eventually they arrived at the igloo station, the Emperor waddling right in front of General Flopper and booming his voice at the troops awaiting.

“Alright my fellow penguins, world domination will have to wait. At least for humans anyways. Today we find ourselves in a crisis and our home will be destroyed. However-“ the Emperor boomed, holding his voice in a high note. “We will take what is ours, and that is land, more land for the penguin species!” He finished, flipping his flipper up in an aggressive manner.

The igloo station became overwhelmed in the roars of the troops, all of them raising their flippers in admiration in the somewhat inspiring words from Emperor Short Flip.

“We must be ready to face whatever can be on the other side of that portal, no matter how dangerous, awful or just downright horrible it can be. Remember, you are fighting for your brothers and sisters, for your families and for your EMPEROR!!”

All the troops chanted the Emperor’s name excitedly, eagerly forming themselves in organized lines which were all ready to jump into the portal. A penguin wearing glasses waddled over to the portal, turning the machine on and gesturing for the penguin soldiers to jump in. Without hesitation, nearly the entire army jumped into the portal at the same time, with the Emperor and General Flopper following right behind. Pretty soon the igloo station was empty, with no penguin in sight at all, the snow flowing in and covering the shrinking portal.

Comments

[Angel Midnight]

Finally, some penguins!