Portrait of a Crompton
"Good morning, Pippsqueaks!"
The familiar sound of Pipp starting a stream was clearly audible that morning. She walked through the corridors, not paying much attention to where she was going. "As you can see, we've nearly finished renovation in here, and you know what that means!"
She stopped and popped a pair of heart shaped glasses over her eyes before attaching what appeared to be a pearl necklace around her neck. "Mom's organised a super special portrait photoshoot to celebrate the achievement! Whoo!" She paused to catch her breath. "The sesh isn't until this afternoon, but you know I couldn't get ready without you guys! Any thoughts?"
Just then, the stream and tranquility was interrupted by the bellowing of a wild animal.
"PHILIPPA!"
Pipp walked through the corridors to her sister's bedroom and opened the door. "You called?"
Zipp stormed over to the door. "Where did you put my grey shirt?"
"Oh, that's in my wardrobe. I thought you might want to wear a dress today seeing as it's a formal event and-"
"The day I wear a dress is the day Hell freezes over. Now give it back- not encased in jelly this time!"
Pipp suddenly produced the shirt from Hammerspace and handed it to her. "I have no clue why she can wear that thing in this weather. Totally too hot for that sort of thing. What do you think?" She indicated to herself.
"Kinda busy, Pipp," Zipp replied, who went back to her clipboard. "Who was Awdry talking about? And what was Misty doing that night anyway? This whole thing doesn't add up."
"Come on, just a look for your little sis."
"We share the same birthday. We're exactly the same age, give or take a few minutes." Zipp suddenly spotted that Pipp was streaming. "Hey! This stuff is confidential!"
"I don't know what that means, but it sounds very long," said a voice from the stream.
Pipp shut off the stream. "Alright, alright. But what's got you so worked up?"
"I have no idea how you can be so focused on this portrait when there are still so many mysteries to solve. Such as that message from the Reverend Awdry. Who was he talking about? Or that story that Misty told at the sleepover? The two narratives contradict one another, which makes me suspicious. What if Misty is somehow connected to this threat that Awdry mentioned?"
"Misty?" Pipp scoffed. "Involved in an evil plot? Don't be silly. She's the sweetest thing in the entire world!"
"We're in danger, and you're still not taking it seriously!"
"We are in danger... of looking awful in a portrait that will hang on the walls of this home for the rest of time!" Pipp paused. "You're just stressed over all this. So here's a song that will lift your spirits!"
She produced a microphone, also from from nowhere, and began singing.
"Be still, don't move/
It's easy to smile with you by my side!
Don't-"
Zipp yanked the microphone out of her sister's hand. "No singing. This is not a musical."
Later that day, the three Havens had arrived at Mane Melody for a makeover in preparation for the photograph. Lady Haven seemed to be particularly precise about the arrangements this year. "The florist seems to have an abundance of roses this year. She asked me if I wanted the standard 24 inch variant or 23.5 this year! Naturally, I asked for both red and white in varying colours to avoid a pink rose! As you know, we have relatives on both sides of the Pennines, and I didn't want to annoy them..."
Zipp tuned her mother out as she droned on and on. She grabbed a cloth and removed the green substance from her face. "Yuck! What even is this stuff? And why have they put cucumbers over our faces?"
"And beige rather than white! What boring colours! Trying to give an opinion on whether I want white or beige is like trying to review vanilla ice cream or a cheap Citroen!"
Zipp had an idea, continuing her family's remarkable ability to produce objects from nowhere by placing a pair of headphones over her mother's ears. "How about some calming music, mom?"
Haven smiled. "Thank you, dear."
Zipp leaned over to Pipp. "Hey, Pipp? Wanna ditch this thing with me?"
"Absolutely not!" Pipp replied, her face covered in green stuff and cucumbers. "Unlike you I actually like to look my best. It's my favourite thing, apart from streaming, spooky stories, and selfies!" She then snapped several to make her point.
Zipp rolled her eyes and got out of her chair just as Sunny walked in. "Hey Sunny. That timing was incredibly convenient."
"I wanted to ask Lady Haven when she wanted the decorations delivered," Sunny replied.
"How well can you imitate me?" Zipp asked.
Sunny halted for a moment, and then did something that sounded like Zipp... except in every detail. "Is that a mystery over there? I need to solve it!"
"OK, scratch that plan," Zipp replied. "Looks like I'm stuck suffering through what is possibly the most boring day of my life." Suddenly, her phone was barraged with Facebook Messenger requests, all full of selfies. "Really, Pipp? You don't need to send these to me! I'm just across the room from you."
An email suddenly arrived, arriving from Misty. Just saw this near the old tin mine in Perranwell. Thought you'd be interested.
Zipp opened the attachment, and was amazed at what she saw. "Can it be?" she asked. "I haven't seen one of those in years."
She walked over to Pipp and showed it. "Wouldn't this be perfect for the portrait?"
"Is the Pope Catholic?" Pipp replied. "Of COURSE it would be! I haven't seen one of those in years! They rarely bloom! Who sent you this?"
"Misty saw it while hiking near Perranwell," Zipp explained. "If we set off now, we can get it and be back before anybody notices."
"On that note... how are we gonna prevent mom from noticing?"
"Got it all covered," Zipp said. "Hey, Sunny? We're gonna take a break from portrait day stuff for a bit, so can you distract mom for a bit?"
"What method would you suggest?"
"Keep the cucumbers flowing and she won't even notice."
Charles and Ray pulled up at Perranwell station (Sophie was out for repairs). They seemed to be in a conversation.
"No, I'm telling you that vacuum brakes are better and safer than air brakes," Ray said.
"How exactly? Air brakes keep things full of air."
"You're full of entirely the wrong type of it. Anyway, vacuum brakes maintain brake pressure by keeping air out of the system. If the pipe leaks air gets in and applies the brakes. In air braking systems, air leaks can prevent the brakes from working."
"Pay not attention everybody!" Charles shouted. "Ray is being boring again!"
Zipp looked out of Charles' cab. "That was all so bizarre, though. The tin mine is that way, and has some rail access, but I never thought of Misty as being the hiking type."
There was no reply. "Uh, Pipp?"
Pipp was trying to stream. "Yikes on trikes. This footplate is far too noisy for a stream. And Ray is being boring!"
Ray looked offended. "I thought your viewers might find the difference between vacuum and air brakes interesting."
"You are possibly the only engine who could make a twenty minute lecture out of the benefits of different types of vans, Ray."
Zipp climbed out of the cab and walked across the platform for clues. "Ah, there's the path. Just a short walk, Pipp."
She glanced back to see Pipp absolutely swarmed by kids. "Aloha from Perranwell, Pippsqueaks!" Pipp called, clearly doing another stream. "The sun is up, the sky is blue, there's not a cloud to spoil the view. And sunshine is all I need to look fabulous!"
"What are you doing?" Zipp asked.
"Streaming? I told my followers I'd be streaming all day! If I stopped now, I'd be breaking my promise!"
"You've been streaming this entire time?"
"Well, yeah."
"What bit of sneaking off without anybody noticing do you not understand?" Zipp asked. "If mom sees that stream the whole operation is compromised. The most valuable asset you have is the thing between your ears. Start using it."
Pipp looked hurt, but otherwise nodded. "OK, gotta go. See you later, Pippsqueaks!"
"Pipp Pipp Hooray!" the kids said, as Pipp smiled.
"I think this flower would go perfectly in your hair!" said one of the girls, handing it to her.
"Nice work, Seashell!" Pipp said. "How did you know I was looking for a flower?"
Zipp's eye began twitching.
"Oh, I meant follower. Do any of you guys follow me on BookTok?"
"No," replied the chorus.
"It's new. But I'll be sure to see you there. Goodbye!" Pipp hopped back aboard Ray's footplate and prepared him to move off.
Charles looked at Ray. "She is possibly the most airheaded person... in the world."
Charles led the way up the short branch to the tin mine, with Ray following close behind. "We're getting close!" Zipp called, as she brought Charles to a stop outside the mine entrance. She glanced back to see Pipp was still posting. "Hey! No social media!"
"I put a filter on it! Nobody will know where we are!"
Zipp had just about reached her breaking point. "You do know the file names of the images you upload have GPS coordinates, right? That means somebody looking at them can figure out where they were taken."
"Oh, hadn't thought of that."
"Like all the other things you don't think of, because you don't think." Zipp had truly had enough. "Your social media stuff has been getting in our way the entire day because you don't seem to be able to resist the urge to take yet another picture of yourself!"
"I thought the entire point of this expedition was to get something for an Instagram post!"
"Oh, really? And the other garbage platforms you post to, like TikTok or BookTok? What a stupid name!"
Pipp rolled her eyes. "I made that up."
Zipp facepalmed. "Missing the point entirely. Fine, this was never about finding the flower. I just needed an excuse to get out of the stupid portrait thing. OK, the search was fun for a bit, but your social media stuff gets in the way! I will NEVER understand how you are such a colossal narcissist that you feel the need to share every waking hour with the outside world!" She slammed Charles' cab window shut and accelerated away.
Pipp was left shocked, and blinked once or twice.
"She sounds unhappy," Ray said, breaking the silence.
"Come on," Pipp said. "Let's make sure she doesn't do something stupid."
Charles advanced slowly into the mine, trying to see where he was going. "Unfortunately for me and Zipp, it was very dark. I tried asking my colleague for a light, but he wasn't much help."
"Any particular reason you're narrating?" Zipp asked.
"I thought it could lighten the mood a bit."
The tunnel widened to two track, and Zipp brought Charles to a stop in the middle of an intersection. "I wonder how long these tunnels go on for?"
Suddenly, singing echoed down the tunnel. "Great accoustics. I could really see a concert happening down here."
Zipp looked in disbelief as Ray came to a stop next to Charles. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm going in the same direction as you two," Ray replied.
"Apart from that."
Pipp leaned out of Ray's cab. "Seeing as you're in here, I figured we might as well grab what we came for and go. I don't get why you're devoting so much energy to something you think is silly, but then again I will never understand why you're so stubborn."
"I did all the research and investigation. I deserve to receive the fruits of my labour." Just then, she spotted it. "There's one. End of that intersection."
Charles accelerated towards the arrangement of flowers. "How can flowers be growing in a place with no sunlight?"
"Not gonna take a picture?" Zipp asked her sister.
"I don't feel like it."
Zipp blinked. "Wait, I'm confused."
"There's no signal down here, and besides I don't want to ruin the feed with the bad vibes you're giving off."
"I'm picking up bad vibrations!" Charles and Ray chorused.
"You're not taking a single picture or sample after all that work I did?"
"We wouldn't be here if you hadn't lied!"
The situation was reaching fever pitch, and then they spoke at once.
"I can't believe you're being this childish!"
Suddenly, the cavern began to shake, and rocks began dropping from the ceiling. "We're gonna get blocked in!" Zipp shouted. "To the engines, quickly!"
Unfortunately, rocks fell inbetween them and the engines, blocking them off from one another.
A rock dropped out of nowhere and bounced into Charles' cab, knocking his throttle into the open position. He roared into the rockslide... and derailed.
Ray looked annoyed. "You pillock! Now we're even more stuck!"
Charles glanced at nobody. "And on that bombshell..."
Pipp was hyperventilating. "Oh no! Oh no oh no oh no! We're stuck down here, with limited air, and nobody knows where we are and we're probably going to die or be eaten by wildlife and nobody will ever know and-"
Suddenly, two notes cut through her panicking. "Be still."
Pipp stopped and glanced over, using the light from her torch to try and illuminate the cavern. "Zipp? Was that you?"
To the disbelief of her sister, Zipp was singing. "Be still, don't move/
It's easy to smile with you by my side!
Don't blink-"
Don't blink," Pipp added.
"Big smile-"
"Big smile-"
And then they chorused together.
"Just being with you
My heart opens wi-i-i-i-i-i-ide
There for you through thick and thin-"
Then they started alternating again.
"We're not the same-"
"But I know we've been-
"Find ourselves on different pages/
Different notes mean-"
And then in chorus again.
"Bigger stages!
As it all comes clear to me/
You're my best friend, my family!
I wanna capture this moment/
As we hit our stride!"
And then Zipp on her own again.
"With you by my-"
And finally together once more.
"You by my si-i-i-i-i-i-ide/
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!
Si-i-i-i-i-i-ide!
It's portrait day/
I want you by my side!"
Zipp smiled. "See? I knew that'd calm you down."
Pipp hung her head. "I know this'll seem hollow, but sorry for messing up your plan. I spent all that time on my phone, and forgot to spend time with you. I guess I am pretty selfish at the end of the day."
Zipp nodded. "I'm the one at fault here. I dragged you along under false pretenses to try and find this flower. I was being selfish." She laughed. "Guess we're not so different after all."
"It's OK," Pipp replied. "Besides, we do still need to find a way out."
Zipp had an idea. "Often, these mines have alternate exits as a safety measure. If we can find one we can get out of here."
Pipp had a brainwave, and switched on her phone's hotspot to start an emergency stream. She knew this would eat through her data, but frankly that was better than being stuck. "Hey Pippsqueaks! I know it looks like I'm streaming from the inside of a coal cellar, but me and Zipp are stuck down here and need some help. If any of you could send us a map of the mine complex that'd be a great help. Oh, and call the coastguard, as we have two stuck engines!"
Seconds later, a map appeared in her inbox, so she opened it. "Perfect! Thank you so much!"
She showed it to Zipp. "There's an exit that way. I'll use the torch on my phone to light the way."
"Take the lead!" Zipp replied.
The pair walked up the tunnels, noticing the light gradually getting stronger as they walked along. Eventually, they emerged into the sunlight, battered by glad to be alive. As they looked down over the scenery, they saw a Coastguard helicopter touch down outside the collapsed mine entrance, as well as an air-sea rescue team equipped with explosives to blast through the rubble.
"We'd better help them dig Charles and Ray out," Zipp said.
"Good idea," Pipp smiled. "I think we both learned something important today."
Just then she glanced down at her phone. "You have two thousand notifications?"
Back at the house, Lady Haven was in a panic. "Where are they?" she asked. "They're not responding to my calls or texts, and Pipp hasn't answered a single message I sent her on social media platforms!"
"The coastguard is already out looking for them. I'm certain they'll find them," Lord Haven tried to reassure his wife.
"We're here!" Zipp called, as she and her sister walked in through the door. Both of them looked a mess, but were doing fine.
Lady Haven ran over and hugged her daughters. "Thank the stars you're safe!" she said. "But where have you been? And why do both of you smell of seawater?"
Pipp grinned. "You wouldn't believe us if we told you. But we did find this!" And she produced the flower.
Lady Haven's eyes widened, her actions and words somewhat at odds with the fancy clothes she was wearing. "An ocean lily? I last saw one of those on my wedding night! They're said to bring good luck."
"Shall we take the picture?" Lord Haven asked. "And let's try to make this one a bit more fun than the last ones."
The family scooted into frame as Lord Haven said the camera to start, then walked into frame. The camera flashed, perfectly capturing their smiles.
But what a picture can never truly capture is the warmth and love the Havens felt for one another. After all, they knew when the world came crashing down that they would always have each other's backs.
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Wait what!?!?!
Lmao! A Tatmr reference! I did something similar to this in one of my own stories last year!
Sometimes the sweetest person can hold a dark secret.
That doesn't count as danger Pipp.
That's something I question too from time to time.
As great as vacuum brakes might be, air brakes are more common these days and are more reliable.
You'd also be in serious trouble if Haven found out.
You don't say?
You and me both on that one.
That ain't good!
Mhm.
That was quick!
https://m.set the camera*
This chapter was quite amazing! Seeing these 2 get closure about themselves was much needed.
11504473
1. That's a reference to the UK version of The Office (the American TV show of the same name is an adaptation of it). Two of the characters, Tim and Gareth, devote considerable resources to pranking each other in increasingly elaborate ways.
2. Indeed. The line was cut from my own TATMR adaption on the grounds it was silly.
3. Indeed.
4. Pipp has a rather skewed priorities.
5. Indeed.
6. Vacuum remains the standard on UK heritage lines. Air has the challenge that the reservoirs can be depleted.
7. Indeed.
8. That she is.
9. Yes indeed.
10. Cue the danger theme.
11. Yes indeed.
12. The convenience of social media.
13. The implication is that their parents were contacting them...a lot.
14. Corrected.
11504603
Thanks. It was also pretty nice to be able to give the characters some much-needed development.
11504596
Ah. Handy ones to know.
11504608
I've never seen the office but my parents have watched its entirety.
11504611
Aye. But, I kinda do agree with Zipp's statements on Pipp's streaming stuff. But more because in my POV, Pipp kinda makes it look like she doesn't wanna hang with her physical friends or even her own family. Now, I know that's not the case in Pipp's eyes but there are gonna be some individuals who would take it that way.
11504616
Fair enough. It's not for everybody.
11504620
Balancing internet and IRL life is pretty difficult. I know I've got the balance wrong sometimes.
11504624
It can pretty much apply to anyone.
Also I won't lie on this one, Zipp's comment about Hell freezing over was actually pretty funny.
But I'm honestly surprised Zipp hasn't blown a fuse when being forced into a dress or even a simple skirt yet. I'd be one to imagine she get a little physical on it at some point.
Also, what Jelly was Zipp referring to?
11504628
I can only imagine the Havens might have had to deal with something like that at some point in the past.
The jelly bit? That's a reference to the UK version of The Office, where the character of Gareth comments at one point that his co-worker Tim once encased his stapler in jelly.
11504698
I reckon so.
Ah. Well, at least it wasn't orange marmalade.
11504747
I suspect marmalade would have gummed up the moving parts quite badly.
11504949
Most likely, since marmalade has bits of orange peel inside it.
11505030
That would be messy.