Trixie's Greatest Trick

by theworstwriter

16 - A First Meeting and a Reunion

Somepony knocked on my front door. I set down my little shovel and stood up, trotting around the house rather than going through it, and when I reached the front door I saw a beautiful azure mare with a faint cornflower blue mane standing there, oblivious to my presence. Generally when a pony knocks on a door they expect an answer from that door rather than a space to the left of it.

I cleared my throat, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Can I help you?” I asked.

She whipped her head to face me and shot me a devilish grin. “You most certainly can.”

Raising an eyebrow and receiving no response, I set out to run through some basic introductions. “My name’s—”

“Trixie knows your name, handsome. How could she forget?” One of her hooves brushed through her mane. “Come along now. You promised Trixie fine dining.”

“Excuse me?” I gasped.

Her mouth flattened into a thin and thoroughly unamused line. “No games, Euro. We’ve done enough damage already.”

The world around me blurred as I shook my head back and forth, trying to clear away some of the confusion. “Hold on a second here. How do you know my name?”

Trixie took a step back, her ears drooping. “This isn’t very funny.”

“Nopony’s laughing,” I said, hard and blunt.

Her eyes shot all the way open. “What’s today?” she demanded.

A bead of sweat ran down the side of my face. This mare was clearly bonkers. Just my luck, too. The first looker who’s talked to me in ages and she’s a nutcase. “Tuesday.”

Her pupils shrank. “...No.”

“Lady, today is Tuesday whether you like that or not.”

She scrambled toward me and threw her hooves on my shoulders. “Trixie has... I have made a mistake. Everypony’s probably in a lot of danger now.” Her eyes slid around, scanning in every direction. “We have to go. I’ll fix this... somehow. Just come with me,” she said.

I pushed her back a little ways. “I’m a busy stallion. I don’t have time for whatever it is you’re trying to sell me here, and I think we’d both be happier if you left now.”

“No. No, that won’t do at all. Come on, we need to get you out of the way before you show up.”

At this point, I was starting to worry. The crazy mare was a unicorn, and for all I knew she was gonna put that horn of hers to sinister use. My leg muscles started to coil, readying me to buck her in the face and run, when suddenly I got knocked to the ground by something falling on me. I twisted my head as much as I could the heavy lump on me, only to find myself staring into my own face. Just before I (or the other me) could let out a girly scream, *wham*. Trixie whacked me... er, the other me, upside the head with a big rock. He went limp and I shoved him off of me.

I pointed down at myself and opened and closed my mouth a few times, not able to decide whether I should stare at Trixie or myself. Finally, I settled my gaze on the gorgeous mare. It seemed like the best option. “That’s me,” I said, pointing at myself.

“You do have a gift for stating the obvious,” she said with a smirk.

“But I’m me.”

“Yes. And so is he. You’re both you. Now, are you going to come with me before you wake up? If we’re lucky, your skull is thin enough that that blow made you forget the last few confusing seconds.”

I blinked a few times. “But... I’m me.”

“And so are past you from the future and future you from the future, both of whom have very important roles to play today. I’ve got no idea what you’re doing here, though, so I’m getting you out of the way. It’s all very complicated and only somepony as brilliant as me could possibly keep everything in order, so we agreed you’d let me handle it. Now are you going to go back on future you from the past’s word?”

“Um... no?”

Trixie sighed. “You’re lucky I like you so much.”

I failed to suppress a blush.

“Actually, Trixie just had a brilliant idea.” That devilish grin from earlier resurfaced. “The fewer jumps, the better, right? Trixie needs you to go to Ponyville and find a mare named Twilight Sparkle. She should have a cape and a hat that belong to Trixie. Retrieve them.”

I—not me, but the other me on the ground—started to stir. I didn’t know what to make of all that, but I knew I didn’t want to be there when I woke up. So I ran. I ran sorta southeastish. Ponyville was sorta southeastish, but I couldn’t tell you whether that factored into my decision or not. I was a little out of it, what with the thinking I was losing my mind and all.