Worlds Apart

by Incandesca

The Day After

I awoke to a field of flowers. It was not a place I recognized, but when I looked to the northeast I saw the royal castle and city surrounding. The light of the setting Sun shone brightly upon it, casting all the rooftops and landscape around in golden splendor, and across the sky not a cloud disturbed the shifting pinks and blues of encroaching night.

I closed my eyes and exhaled softly, basking in a sense of sublime tranquility. This was a peaceful place, and even with my vision gone I could sense everything around me in exquisite detail. The air was cool, but pleasantly so. It reminded me of autumn's dawn, when the wind was crisp but yet to turn biting from winter's chill and the leaves like flame, vivid before they turned brown and fell to be reborn in the spring.

Compared to the hustle and bustle I'd become so accustomed to as Princess, things were so much quieter here. It wasn't often I got the opportunity to step out from my responsibilities to enjoy the simple pleasures nature offered freely. It wasn't rare either, but it was uncommon enough for me to find joy in taking this for its worth.

Here, there were no palace aides insistently waiting head over hoof for me, no local lords or mayors with disputes they demanded settling. There was only the gentle breeze, the sound of my breathing, and the birds chirping amongst their rustling branches.

Above this, however, was a sense I could not shake. With each inhale, I took in the floral scent pervading the air around me, which to some might have been considered cloying. The smell piqued my interest, as I had never determined the type of flowers I'd woken among.

Curiously, I opened my eyes again to note their appearance. Perhaps, I thought, I could commission for these to perfume the castle halls upon my return.

Surrounding me on all sides was an army of perfectly snow white cups, splayed out towards the rim with several fronds poking from the center.
I smiled. They were moon lilies. They weren't just any moon lilies either, but the most pure kind I'd ever seen, so flawless they seemed to glisten with the glow of the actual Moon itself.

I went to inspect more closely, but as I drew near they almost seemed to shrink away. I dismissed this as a trick of the eye. Perhaps with the strangely illustrious quality of their shimmer and the force of the breeze combined it made them appear leaned in a certain direction, but when I moved for them again it happened once more.

I felt something then, stirring in the pit of my chest. It tugged at me uncomfortably, nagging that something was off. I realized all of a sudden that I was afraid, but of what? There couldn't possibly be a thing to be frightened of in a place like this.

Without warning, I turned to face the east horizon, but it was not of my volition. I no longer felt truly in control of my own body, and the rising fear at the pit of my stomach boiled over into dread.

There, staring back at me, was not an oncoming evening but a shadowy blackness. It spread across the sky like far too much ink bleeding across paper until all visible light had been snuffed out. Yet it did not stop there. To my horror, it continued on until it touched the very land itself. In its all consuming abyss, it swallowed everything it touched — towers, homes, farms, mountains, and streams.

I felt myself start backing away from the field's edge before I could think to. Any illusion of control I'd had was shattered, replaced with the strings of a marionette which played upon my every action down to the breath.

Below my hooves I felt the lilies and cast a glance down to meet them. I couldn't help but to continue my retreat, and with each step backwards I left blackened, withered flowers in my wake as if my presence alone had become a pestilence. In terror, I whirled around to see if the west remained untouched. To my relief it was. I didn't know what was transpiring, but there might still be a chance for me.

When I turned back around, the darkness sat inches from my face.

I came to with a start, bolting upright and with my heart pounding against my chest. Shadows encompassed me, and my frightened mind momentarily seized at the idea that horrid dark had followed, but my eyes adjusted soon after. I was still in my room, wrapped up in sheets that clung to my now sweat-slicked fur.

It was to my relief, but only minorly. The nightmare was over, but the rest of the day and its numerous challenges lay before me like a series of traps, and I had nopony but myself to navigate them. Today was the day after my sister's banishment, and I was alone.

Delaying my duties as long as possible, I gradually rolled out of bed with a grunt. The sheets were soaked through, and with the filth and blood I'd accumulated from the night prior I'd need to have them washed. That could be sought to later though — for the present, my first duty of raising the Sun called more urgently.

The task was simple enough. I had performed it countless times over the years — none beyond myself were alive or had been in decades since the unicorn tribe had to move the celestials themselves — and soon the beginning rays of dawn's light pierced through the milky blue sky.

What was not so easy was lowering the Moon. The actual manipulation itself came to me almost as naturally as with the Sun, but I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming wrongness at doing so. This was my sister's, not mine, and to touch it with my magic, let alone move it felt like an act of supreme violation, as if I'd rummaged through her most personal belongings and stolen something for myself.

Watching it disappear from view, I remembered when I'd done just that as a foal. There'd been one marble among all the others we'd played with that Luna had cherished the most, and I'd grown jealous when she refused to let me touch it. Ironically, it looked strikingly similar to the Moon as it was now.

So, being young and yet to learn proper respect for others, I'd awoken once in the dead of night to take it. I'd felt giddy holding it in my hoof for the first time, but when morning came it was only guilt that remained to weigh on my consciousness. I'd returned it to her and apologized profusely, and promised never to commit such an act again.

As the final glimpse of my sister's Moon dipped out of sight, I realized I'd broken that promise. But unlike that incident so long ago, I had nopony to apologize or return it to. The Moon was my responsibility now as much as I didn't want it to be, but it would never be mine in the way it had been hers.

That taken care of, I shut my eyes and let out a shuddering breath. This day was already proving more difficult than I'd predicted.

But, contrary to what I might have wished, the oath I swore held more importance than myself. I turned to leave, and once entering the hall was once again faced with the sight of my sister's parted bedroom doors. My gaze lingered for a heartbeat, and as I passed from there to the bath house I made a mental note to request relocation of my chambers as soon as possible.

My morning routine went on as it always had, save the presence of one. I showered without feeling or thought, until abruptly I hadn't. Like thunder from the blue I was struck with grief, but my sorrow was just as quickly washed awaying by the rains pouring above me. All it had taken was a moment of remembering her face and I'd cracked, crying out at the knowledge she'd been here with me not even a day past.

It was then to my further chagrin what I saw in the mirror. The grime had been washed from my body, and although bruises and the puffy redness of my eyes stood out starkly against my white fur none of that earned my scorn. Those could be fixed with makeup. What could not was my mane.

Both it and my tail were different now. Where once had been a pastel pink transitioning to sparkling yellow, pink now made up but a single streak in the dazzling array. Observing with bitter irony, I noted how together it with blue, green, and lavender represented all the colors a daytime horizon could display, except the brightest of all. There was an odd flow to it too, waving about in the air as if caught in a breeze where none was present, no longer in strands as before.

I had to wonder what had done this, and the only possibility I could grasp was a byproduct of the Elements. Even now, I mused, they mocked me, and I suddenly understood the perplexed look on the faces of the gathered crowds from last night.

Afterwards was breakfast, which I'd reluctantly ordered prepared for me. The chef had taken painstaking care in procuring a delicious looking meal of honeysuckle eggs benedict, but when the fork came to my mouth there was no taste. My stomach growled regardless, and so I ate it with the same liveliness as a machine. All the while, I did my best to ignore the vacant seat across from me, and pressed on further with my day.

Before long I had finished, which meant addressing the matters of yesterday to other ponies. The last thing I could let happen was let the court officials and dignitaries see me buckle, and thus I was made to don a mask of impenetrable stone. However heavy it weighed upon me I could not allow it to sleep, and no amount of hurt could I permit lest it crack. I suppose it just as well that I wore one; I had a role to perform after all.

Walking down the corridor to the courtroom, I could already hear it brimming with activity beyond the thick oaken doors. Upon my arrival it rose to an even higher pitch, and I first made the mistake of trying to answer their questions all at once. Overwhelmed, I was forced to use my royal Canterlot voice to silence them — only then I could address their concerns.

Cooly, I informed them of what had transpired the other night — that which I knew, anyhow — excepting the reason for Luna's betrayal. On that topic I lied through my teeth, manner composed as ever, and I planned to do so again later to the public. In their minds the only cause for the battle and the lack of their other princess was due only to a possession by some evil spirit. They had no reason to know the truth of the matter, so personal as it was to me, and so I did not offer it to them.

The news was received better than I'd expected, and for some in the court went over too well. To my disgust, several appeared pleased at this change, and I knew precisely the reasons why. Some simply did not give Luna the respect she deserved and had always seen her as the lesser of us while others found her off putting, but the ultimate reason for their apparent satisfaction was her honesty. She was not an easy mare to work with and she made her opinions known without watering them down as I did.

I did not show my disdain no matter how much the mask threatened to splinter. Instead I took note of their names and faces, and how little it was to my surprise that most of them were from the upper crust of society with their decadent balls and false personalities. I would not dismiss them outright, but if there was found even the slightest infraction in their roles they'd quickly discover themselves removed from office. The process of rearranging the systems of governance without Luna would be long and bureaucratic, and I could not tolerate the thought of their presence making it worse than it already would be.

With day court adjourned and a foul taste in my mouth, the thing I'd most dreaded had finally caught up to me. It was no small part of me which mulled the possibility of delegating a public speech to somepony else, but I hadn't the heart to do it. Unlike many of the court officials, I cared deeply for my ponies. They deserved an explanation from the sole mare who could give it to them regardless of how painful it might be.

Nevertheless, as I stood atop the balcony looking down upon the thousands gathered below, my resolve threatened to shatter. Behind my face of stone and level voice was a hurricane I could scarcely control, but I spoke vigilantly onwards. I spoke of the battle which had taken place and the choice I had made to protect them. I spoke of the sacrifice that choice had meant the new paradigm which would rock the foundations of our kingdom.

And lastly I spoke of mourning. This would be a time of sorrow not only for myself but for those who loved my sister as much as they did me. Those words were the hardest for me to swallow — I tried not to think bitter things about how they could never know the loss I was going through, the grief I was experiencing, even if I knew it to be true. The life of mortals was wrought with such tragedies as mine, I told myself, but in the end they would face the same fate. They would be given the gift of release from this plane of existence. I, however, was not so fortunate.

When the address concluded, the masses were at a loss for words. Some ponies laughed. Some ponies cried. Most were silent, but none cheered or smiled like those in the court had. It soothed my stormy inner self somewhat knowing that all these ponies, despite what my sister believed, had indeed loved her.

If only they could have shown her that, then perhaps she'd still be here with me. But no, I couldn't allow my grief to blind me to who was ultimately at fault, no matter how much easier and tempting it was to blame others over myself. They hadn't the sight nor power to see and stop what had led to this, not like I had.

Thankfully, address now delivered, there were no other tasks left which I could not delegate. The moment I'd taken my leave from the podium I saw to precisely that, and once finished just as quickly made to retire for the remainder of the day. My ability to push my inner turmoil down had all but drained by that point, making the experience of having to bear everyone's sympathies trite or otherwise a grueling one.

Upon arriving to my room, I looked for the third time to my sister’s. I stood there, pinned between the two chambers like a fly caught in a spider's net, staring down what I could see through the doorway. It felt like centuries had gone by when I took a step in its direction, but eventually I'd come to stand right before it.

This would be the last time this demon would haunt me, I decided. I was putting an end to this, here and now.

I took in a deep, deep breath as if I were preparing to jump in a lake, and took a step forward.

A chill ran up my spine as I entered. She no longer slept here, nor would she again, but I felt her presence here in the same way I felt it in her Moon. Here was where we'd had our final argument before the end. Little did I know that was my last chance at saving her.

Quietly, I moved from corner to corner, observing every object and personal belonging of hers with great caution. I dared touch not a thing, terrified by the possibility I might break something. There were so many things I recognized too, from idle toys and knick-knacks she'd kept from herfillyhood to precious stones she'd collected and birthday gifts I'd given her. Looking at them all made my chest hurt unbearably, but I forged on.

Coming towards the end of her shelves, I spotted something which gave me pause. Sitting on the top shelf sat an intricately decorated jewelry box, one of a pair which our parents had passed down to us after their deaths. Luna's had been dusky blue with silver trimmings and sapphire, where mine was white with gold and amethyst. In their will, they'd told us to put whatever trinkets we clung to most dearly within. In other circumstances I would have never done this, but my curiosity overrode my better judgement. Carefully, I used my magic to remove the box from its resting place and bring it to me.

I opened it, and let out a short, mournful noise. Inside were three objects. One was a gray-flecked white marble that almost glowed, and across from it was another I'd not seen before, larger and pale yellow with golden orange swirls throughout. Between the two was a silver chain necklace with a moonstone pendant, similar to the one I owned with gold and sunstone. They'd been presents for us from Starswirl before he'd disappeared.

Resisting the urge to avert my gaze, I closed the box and shakily slid it back into place before moving on. There wasn't a second more I could take staring into its contents.

Next was her desk. Upon it was an open tome I figured was her diary, header written but entry left blank. A filled inkwell with quill dipped inside sat to the upper righthoof corner, ready to transcribe her thoughts. Further to the left I saw a book she'd been in the process of reading — one I'd been recommending to her for ages but she'd never quite gotten around to — bookmarked a fifth of the way through.

I trudged ahead in silence, mind as statically morose as my surroundings. Her shut wardrobe came next, but I moved on without sparing it a second look. I'd had my curiosity well enough sated after that box for a lifetime.

Lastly I stood at her bedside, the corner still untucked as if she'd just rolled out of bed for the morning. Was that when she'd decided to confront me, I wondered? Were her last dreams of imagining my demise?

I shook myself free of the questions and sat down, lifting one of her pillows up from the bed and pulling it towards me. When it was close enough for touch, I let it fall into my open hooves and held it for a time. Then, hesitantly, I brought it up to my face and inhaled.

I could still smell her.

In an instant, a day's worth of tears burst forth, spilling down my cheeks in hot waves. I barely made a sound, but my chest heaved nonetheless again and again so hard I thought my ribs might simply cave in. My hitched sobs were like pathetic whimpers, and I eventually just curled into a ball, cradling that pillow tight.

Stars in the Heavens above, what had I done to deserve this? Why had I been so blind? Why did she have to leave? Why couldn't I have died last night? It would have been so much easier than this.

After a while longer of wallowing in my own self pity, I pushed myself to my hooves. The pillow had miraculously survived the ordeal without a hint of wetness, and I settled it back where it had been. The sheets were tugged up after, then tucked in as on the right. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel like I was tucking her into bed like I did when she was little, kissing her on the forehead and wishing her a goodnight.

Sniffling, I turned towards the door. My business was done here. Rounding the corner however, I was stopped in my tracks by a mare.

She was a pretty young earth pony, with cream-colored fur dusted by freckles, wide amber eyes, and a mess of brown curls pulled up into a hasty bun. She wore the gentlest and most apologetic look I'd ever seen in my life, and reached out to me with a smile.

I recognized her. She was one of the several maids assigned to the palace, and I'd always gotten on with her splendidly. At first I thought to be angry at her for eavesdropping, but it quickly melted away. She was simply going about her work the same way I did — what right did I have to be mad at her?

She tried to apologize regardless, but I assured her it was fine. I blanched, however, when she mentioned Luna's room, and again at her offer to clean it. Not to clean out or rearrange, she'd specified, but merely to clean. A second or so passed where I didn't understand what she meant, but when I realized what she was offering I tried not to break down all over again.

I nodded, and that was that. There was no further exchange needed, and I shut myself in my chambers to wait for evening. There was one more place I wanted to visit before the day's end.

Music.

That was the only word I could use to adequately describe the beauty of nature — music. The chirp of crickets, the rustle of leaves in the breeze, and if so close to civilization perhaps the faint background noise of ponies living all came together to form a symphony that even the greatest musicians could only try to replicate. Despite the nightmares plaguing my waking world as much as the dreaming, I could always rely on the soft embrace of nature to distract from my troubles.

It was for that reason, after setting the Sun and raising the Moon, that I'd come here tonight. These city gardens were a dear solace I could not find in the unwelcoming fabricated corridors of my solitary palace. This place too was pony-made, but the grass and dirt beneath my hooves and the trees and hedges around me were still alive, home to insects and critters of wide variety.

There was another reason for coming to this place, though. It felt like ages ago now, but once upon a time this city had been little more than a quaint town. But when Luna and I had surveyed the lands for our nation's capital, it was that very same town we'd chosen to expand. Off to the distance rose the peak of Mount Canter, its expansive mountain range like a barrier to keep us safe, and on the opposite was the wild but rich Everfree Forest. Surrounded on all other sides by viable farmland, it was the perfect location for a settlement.

However, in sketching out the plans, we both had wanted to bring something of home with us. We'd been born into a backwater village rather than a modern metropolis, but one thing of note from that hamlet was its gardens. They were massive and gorgeous, and nearly as large as the rest of the village itself, and it was after that that we'd modelled the ones here.

There were parts unknown to me branching out elsewhere for those who wished to enact their botanical creativity, but we'd designed a specific area that would be preserved. At the center was copied precisely the spot from our birthplace's gardens that we'd played in as foals, meant to be untouched except for necessary management. We'd even transported what we could from that original locale, like flowers and stones.

It was here I found myself, reliving memories generations past. Yes, these were not technically my gardens — not really the ones I'd grown up in — but that didn't change anything. It looked familiar. It smelled familiar. And many of the things that had dwelled within it still sat, either as ancient rocks or descendants of the original flora.

This was home, and each otherwise insignifcant thing that anypony else would have overlooked stood out to me in vibrant detail. Each arrangement of shrubs or pebbles turned over another memory, forgotten through the passage of time. I saw them all, playing out like a scene before my very eyes from an outsider viewer looking in.

I heard us laugh as we chased one another with ladybugs on sticks, or me comfort her as she cried at her scraped fetlock. Eventuallity it became too much for me, and I looked up into the horizon instead.

There in the sky hung her Moon, gleaming as bright as it had a short day but also an eternity ago, flanked from every angle by twinkling points of light. The air was still, and the harmony silent. She was alone up there, as I was down here, but together I could keep her company.

I looked higher still and caught her gaze, staring up into her solitary downcast eye. Some force beyond my comprehension compelled me forwards, although to what purpose I didn't know.

There, upon her bed of moonlight, she slept,and it was only I who could lull her into the dreams of sweet comfort she'd rightfully deserved all along. The words came to me more naturally than the steady rise and fall of my breast, from some spiritual place I could only sense. In these next endless winters, she would not feel pain or sadness. I would ensure that, to the best of my ability.

Calmly, I held her gaze, parted lips, and sang.