The Sixth Element

by Lets Do This

The Postal Exam

Months passed, and Derpy gradually settled into a routine in Ponyville. Jobs were still catch-as-catch-can, but between the moving company, occasional odd-jobs at the Farm and around town, and being Rarity's clothes-pony whenever the fashionista was developing a new line, she managed to scrape together enough to keep the room at Quills and Sofas long-term.

But somehow she didn't feel like she was really there yet. Things had changed, yes, but she was still working odd jobs, still didn't feel like she knew what she was really good at.

And her flank was as resolutely blank as ever.

One morning she was trotting through town on her way to Mrs. Cake's to say good morning and pick up a muffin for later, when she happened to pass the post office and saw a sign in the window:

LETTER CARRIER NEEDED -- ENQUIRE INSIDE

Derpy read the sign a few times. Letters. Like envelope stuffing? I know how to do that.

She stepped into the office. A gruff-looking, sandy-haired pony in a postal uniform looked up from behind the counter.

"Yah?"

"The sign? Outside? You want letters carried?"

"Got any experience?" he shot back.

"Well. I used to stuff envelopes." She hung her head, worried it wouldn't sound like much. "It was my favorite job," she added sadly.

"Perfect. You're hired. You start tomorrow."

Derpy blinked. "But --"

"Look lady, I've seen you around. You may be cross-eyed, but you're not stupid. I know stupid, and you're not it! My kid brother is stupid! He's dumb as a stick! If you can get from one end of that street to the other carrying a muffin in your mouth, you're already better at the job than he was!"

"Are you sure?"

"Hah? Well let's try you out. Pick up this envelope here. Go on!"

There was a letter on the counter in front of him. Derpy trotted over and carefully grabbed it in her teeth.

"Now put it in that slot over there!"

Derpy saw the Outgoing Mail slot. She trotted over and slipped the letter through it. Thump. Done.

She smiled. It was just like envelope stuffing -- but with less work.

"Brilliant, you pass," the post pony said. "Congratulations. Everything else is just sorting, sacking, and delivering."

"My memory's not that great..." she warned.

"We do all the sorting here. We group the letters by house number. All you have to do is follow your route, and drop 'em off at each house, in order, every single day, 'cept Sundays!"

Never change. Never fail. Derpy nodded. "I can do that."

"Great. Now come on around back here and lend me a hoof with these bags."

Before she did so, Derpy quickly checked her flank. Nope, no cutie-mark yet. But she had a job she could really do now. That was something at least.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A few years later, on the morning before the Summer Sun Celebration, which this year was being held in Ponyville itself, Derpy had just trucked a large cardboard box of supplies down to the porch of the Costume Shop, and was on her way back to the office with the trolly.

Faster than a speeding chimmi-cherry-changa, a pink blur raced up to her. It was Pinkie, who stood in front of Derpy simply vibrating with excitement.

"Hi, Derpy!!!"

"Hey, Pinkie!"

"I just saw, like, a totally new pony in town! And I was like Huaaaahhh! And I wanna throw her a really big super-duper-whooper party bash this evening! Will you help spread the word while you're out posting?"

"Sure, Pinkie. Where and when?"

"I dunno! Isn't that great? I love not knowing! I asked around, and I think I heard old Ms. Theseus has been booted out of the Library by Princess Celestia -- 'bout time too, she was a real meany! -- and this new pony's gonna be staying there. So just tell everypony to be ready to show up there this evening when I give the word!"

"Sure, Pinkie!"

"Thanks, Derpy! Byeeeeee..."

Her voice vanished with her down the street as she blasted off again.

Derpy smiled and rolled her eyes, first the left one, then the right one.

A Pinkie-Pie-New-Pony-in-Ponyville Party, she thought.

Nothing ever changed here.

Comments

[Eroraf86]

How does a mare end up being named Theseus?

[Lets Do This]

It was going be Ms. Thesis, actually, but that sounded a little too obvious, so my subconscious quickly Margaret Hamilton-ed it to Theseus. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it! )