Reliquum Noctis

by ashi

III. Victim

Celestia watched rapt as Luna's wings quivered, trembling uneasily as agitation consumed her, and she got her first proper look at her sister's face; pale, waxy and miserable. It was a far cry from the strong, confident – brash, even – young pony who had once stood by her side through so much. Before Nightmare Moon.

Words came tumbling out of Celestia's mouth without much thought in response to Luna's wretched, despairing countenance; they were meant to be reassuring, comforting, but all they did was admit to the fact that even the ruler of Equestria was feeling jittery, too. She took in the carnage surrounding her once more, wishing desperately – even going so far as to be childishly annoyed that there wasn't – that there was a simple spell that would fix everything.

Was I foolish to think that we'd be free of this millennium-long nightmare so easily? The Elements of Harmony should have obliterated Nightmare Moon, remove all traces of her dark psyche from Luna's mind. What went wrong? Involuntarily, Celestia shuddered; she had no particular desire to relive those terrible days, especially the many evil acts Nightmare Moon was able to carry out by using Luna as her instrument.

Or is that just me being naïve? Trying to let her off the hook so that she can reintegrate back into pony society because I want it more than anything? Am I turning a blind eye to the question I want to ask, but never can?

How much of it was you, Luna?

Jealousy had played its part, of course; nothing stands in the shadow of something that burns so brightly without feeling a twinge of envy, and thousands of years of covetousness plus an inferiority complex borne out of a seeming disregard for everything that she had done for Equestria was a perfect recipe for psychosis. But that poisonous influence, that demonic entity that had so skilfully manipulated her … had it been responsible for pushing her over the edge of madness?

Would you have eventually rejected me, even without Nightmare Moon's help?

It was easy, oh, so easy, for Celestia to believe that her dear, sweet sister was simply the innocent victim in all of this. Just a pawn of a higher power.

Because if I were to believe otherwise, I might stop loving you.

Luna's eyes opened so suddenly that Celestia took a startled step back; she blinked a couple of times, as if trying to comprehend why her older sister was standing there, towering above her just as she had done all those years ago. “Celestia?” she asked in a low, shaky murmur. The voice of a child faced with something that they do not yet understand, but recognise as being important. The voice of a child looking to an elder for aid. The voice of a child about to learn the hard way that adults don't always have answers for them. “What … what happened here?” Her tone turned fearful as she fully absorbed the destruction and the message embedded in the wall. “Did I do this?”

For the first time in years, it occurs to Celestia that Luna was still – in alicorn terms, anyway – basically a child when she had been exiled. When I was forced to exile her. “What do you remember?” Celestia asked quietly, trying to keep some kind of grip on the situation. Luna needed her, now more than ever, and she could not let her fears tear her apart. “From last night, what's the last thing that you remember?”

“Ah, um,” Luna said, pulling herself to her hooves and shaking her head to try and clear it, “the homecoming. I was exhausted and bewildered after the celebration and I returned to my chambers in order to meditate. When I awoke-” she punctuated her words with a sweeping gesture of what remained of her suite “-it was to all of this. It's back, isn't it? The Elements-”

“-For whatever reason, yes, it would seem that the Elements of Harmony were unsuccessful in fully purging Nightmare Moon's presence from your mind,” replied Celestia, maintaining a steady tone of voice despite the growing anxiety building up within her. Luna needed support, something to act as a barrier between her and the insanity, and Celestia was determined to be it.

“I knew it.” Luna spoke so softly that Celestia almost didn't hear her words; they weren't pitiful or angry, merely … resigned. She allowed her head to slump forward, a defeated expression colouring her muzzle, and her breathing became laboured. Her wings spread out of their own accord, reacting in a fight-or-flight response, only there was nowhere that she could run to to escape this particular threat. And possibly, no way to fight it either. “I wanted to believe, so much I wanted to believe it, sister, that the nightmare was over. It was never meant to be.”

Celestia did the only thing that she could do; extending her wings to their full length, she encircled the smaller pony with them and pulled her in close. “Why do you say that?”

No doubt, the rapid heartbeat of her older sister betrayed the fact that she was just as tense and nervous as she was, but Luna did not mention this; in a way, it comforted her to know that Celestia was just as much flesh and blood as other ponies were. She wasn't some all-powerful Goddess, just … her sister. And that was more important. “I was never meant to have the time I wanted, to make amends to Equestria, to apologise for every hateful thing I ever did to you while … while under her influence.” Floods of tears came unbidden, soaking Celestia's coat.

Unconsciously using the same cooing voice that had once brought them so much comfort as fillies, Celestia whispered into Luna's ear, “Sh, sh. It's okay. We'll figure this out.” She brushed her sister's flowing mane softly just as her mother had once done so long ago, hoping that it would have a similar effect in calming her down. From the slump of her withers and the peaceful smile that crossed her face, Celestia guessed that it was working. She even started to hum an old half-forgotten lullaby that soon brought their heartbeats down to something like their normal rhythm. “Feeling better?”

Looking up at her sister, blue eyes filled with unconditional love and absolute faith, Luna managed to say, “A little bit, thank you.”

Celestia barely heard her, however; for just a moment, she wasn't seeing her younger sister, but somepony else entirely. Another pony who had once looked at her with those same eyes, that same expression: inquisitive, bright, expectant. A pony who trusted her implicitly, and wanted her to have all of the answers, no matter how insurmountable a problem might've seemed.

“Is there anything that we can do to stop it, Celestia?” Luna asked. She frowned, wriggling in the grasp of her sister's wings. “Surely, there must be a way?”

With the very soul of Luna at stake, Celestia hated more than ever breaking that unshakeable faith all of her little ponies had for her; she did not have an answer, however, only a few stray thoughts that didn't seem to lead anywhere in particular. “If there is, then I do not know what it is,” she said, holding her sister closer. “I knew that there was a small chance that some part of the Nightmare parasite might survive the Elements of Harmony, but there was no way to be certain until they'd actually done their work.” She looked directly into Luna's eyes, hoping that she would understand. “Unless we find a way to destroy it completely or otherwise nullify its effects, it will continue to grow in strength until-”

“-Until it consumes me once more and I am nothing more than a slave to its will?”

“Yes.”

Luna straightened up, disentangling herself from Celestia's embrace. “Then, there remains but one option that is open to us, dear sister.”

Celestia opened her mouth in puzzlement before it dawned on her to what her sister was referring. “No, I will not go down that road ever again. Losing you once was enough.” How casually you make this suggestion. Do you realise what I've gone through, sister? Do you know what an empty abyss my days were without you by my side?

Hardening her tone, Luna said, “I have no desire to become that monstrosity again. I have no desire to see Equestria torn apart again.” More softly, she went on, not quite able to make her gaze, “Celestia, I have no desire to hurt you again.”

“It doesn't have to be this way. It may not even happen,” Celestia replied weakly, knowing that Luna did, in fact, have a point. Wasn't it better to stop it now rather than wait until Nightmare Moon had more power, had gained more of a foothold in Luna's still-frail mind?

“It is already happening,” Luna said, gesturing to the ruined suite again. “For now, it seems, she, it, can only manifest herself when I am asleep, when I am not in control, but that won't always be the case. She's patient and cunning, and once she has the power to, she will kill you and turn Equestria into a realm of endless night.”

“Luna, I will not banish you to the Moon again.” Celestia realised that she was getting irate and forced herself to modulate her tone. “Even when the Nightmare entity had full control over you, I didn't want to do it, and it was absolutely the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life when I finally used the Elements to defeat … her. There's still hope, still a chance that things will turn out differently the second time, now that we know more about it.”

“I'm not strong enough to contain her,” Luna said pathetically, tears forming in her eyes once more.

“Yes, you are. You're my sister and you will have my meagre strength in addition to your own. We will find another solution.”

“There isn't one,” replied Luna. “Celestia, dear sister, look at me, please.”

Doing so only reluctantly, fearing that her resolve might shatter, Celestia did not see the one-time Princess of the Night, nor did she see a powerful alicorn in her own right, all she saw was one of her little ponies – her own baby sister – who needed a helping hoof to solve a problem.

“Nightmare Moon must not be allowed to walk this earth again,” Luna said sternly. Looking down at the floor, she continued, “Obviously, this is not what I wanted to happen. To be exiled a mere day after returning is rather absurd, but the greater good of Equestria must be served. I have had a taste of freedom and-” more tears “-I was able to see you one last time. Who knows? In another thousand years or so you may be able to destroy Nightmare Moon for good with the Elements of Harmony.”

“Can't we just ask her nicely to leave you alone?” Celestia asked, trying – badly – to lighten the darkening mood hanging over them. “One day … just isn't enough. There's so much I need to say to you, so much for you still to see.” I had never thought the Goddess cruel before, even when she took our parents away before their time, but this smacks of a sick practical joke. Have I done something wrong? Was I a poor leader and this is my divine punishment? What did I do that was so terrible that I must be castigated in such a fashion? On the verge of breaking down, Celestia said, “There must be something that we haven't thought of.”

Thoughtfully, Luna said, “Maybe … maybe you had the answer just then.”

It took Celestia a moment to realise what she was talking about. And about five minutes to further realise that she wasn't kidding about it either. “What? Are you serious?”

“The Aisling Fearainn.”

Celestia shook her head, still unsure as to just what it was Luna was proposing exactly. “What would entering the realm of dreams accomplish?”

“I understand that the power to enter dreams does not come naturally to you, but you've managed for a thousand years without me, and I believe that you are equal to this task,” Luna said hurriedly, almost with a sense of hope – even enthusiasm – bubbling away under the surface. It was a slim chance, but if it meant a better outcome than last time, then she was prepared to see it through. “If you enter my mind while I am sleeping, you will find the personification of the Nightmare entity within it, and-”

“-And what?” asked Celestia incredulously. “We could have a pot of tea and a bit of a chat? Oh, evil Nightmare Moon, would you mind awfully not possessing my sister and would you be so kind as to maybe relocate yourself to another dimension where we won't have to see or hear from you ever again?”

“Well, yes,” Luna said bluntly. “Maybe not that last part, though.”

“Let me see if I've got this,” Celestia said, blinking slowly, “you want me to try negotiating with something that simply wants power and glory for its own sake?”

“Is it really so different from conducting diplomatic talks with the griffons?” asked Luna, smiling slightly at her own feeble joke.

The griffons would not blot out the sky just because they could.

Off Celestia's unconvinced look, Luna added, “Look, I agree, it's a long shot, but you wanted another option. If it doesn't work, at least you can send me back to the Moon secure in the knowledge that you did at least try everything this time.”

Is that a rebuke? Or is it Nightmare Moon gaining a foothold? Celestia knew that she should've been angry at her sister's statement, but she wasn't; regret had filled her heart every day for a thousand years, so it would take more than some hastily-chosen words to pierce her hide, but she also knew that there really had been no alternative. Nightmare Moon was far too powerful to be allowed to exist unchecked, much as it pained her to contemplate the destruction of a living – if parasitical – being. Reason and conflict had both failed, and a half-submerged castle in the Everfree Forest was testament to what could happen if Nightmare Moon was allowed out again. “I'm sorry,” Celestia said simply.

“Don't be,” Luna said, her muzzle shading to a more crimson hue. “I spoke out of turn and I apologise. Chalk it up to stress.” Luna lifted her neck as much as she was able, while Celestia in turn lowered hers, until their horns were almost touching. Their auras flared to life, but they did not yet bring them together.

Few truly understand the significance of this gesture, but we do. When unicorn or alicorn horns touch, a small spark of magic is released; it flows from one to the other, becoming a part of them. In some cultures, it was used as a form of bonding in early foalhood. “More than a betrothal, less than a marriage,” as the saying went. For others, it was a way of showing affection to a loved one. “Now, a part of me will be with you always.” It is the first time that we've done this in over a thousand years and it might be the last. I want to savour the sweet taste of her magical essence, but there simply isn't time.

“Are you ready?” Luna asked.

“No,” replied Celestia truthfully.

With the slightest of smiles creasing her muzzle, Luna said, “I have no idea what you're going to find in there, but I know that you will overcome it nonetheless. I wish you success, dear sister.”

Dear sister are the last two words that Celestia heard as it was at that point that Luna brought her horn into contact with her sister's; even though the touch is slight, a sharp clack still echoes out. Soon, the suite and everything in it swam out of Celestia's focus.