The Dao of Fluttershy

by ashi

III. A Nest Emptied

Just as the grounds around Fluttershy's cottage had been, the interior was as equally lacking in life; what little of the cold blue light that was able to seep in through the minute gaps in the curtains illuminated a depressing, sterile tableau that couldn't be more anathema to the usual vigour which ran through the dwelling. It was a monument to apathetic loneliness. If it hadn't been for a couple of stray yellow hairs clinging to the settee in the living room, one might have got the impression that the place hadn't been lived in for years.

“Fluttershy?” she asked quietly of the empty room. “Angel? Are either of you in here?”

Her guard up, Rarity pushed further into the lounge, suppressing an inward shudder as she did so. There were no signs of a struggle, which was good, but something felt off to her all the same. It just wasn't right to see the place like this: everything was neat and orderly. Too neat and too orderly. While she was not as fond of critters – bar her beloved cat, Opalescence – as Fluttershy, she was perturbed by their persistent absence. A quick glance at the floor revealed not a single crumb, nor an errant flake of food, suggesting to Rarity that they had been ushered out in an organised manner. Whatever it was that Fluttershy was up to, it was something which had required absolute solitude. Something which had compelled her, much as it would've pained her to do so, to exile her cherished animals.

She moved through the small hallway into the kitchen and found it to be in much the same state; glittering silver pots and pans hanging on the walls, plates and bowls stacked on the shelves, packages of food labelled in neat handwriting stored away in cupboards. There were no signs to suggest that anything had been used recently. Had Fluttershy just upped and left without warning? It was rare for a pony to do so, especially without a good reason, but there were stories of those who had done just that.

An idle thought flashed through Rarity's mind and she stopped what she was doing until she could pin it down; she clenched her jaw, recalling the details of a hundred detective novels that she'd read while growing-up: the lonely, tortured private investigator studying a scene much like this one – all of a pony's affairs tidied away carefully, rooms kept meticulously clean so that they could be immediately reused, a friend who seemed to be in good spirits suddenly altering a plan without any prior warning – and coming to one inescapable conclusion.

Rarity felt a cold sweat trickle down her spine and she bit softly on her bottom lip.

No, I'm wrong about this. I have to be! Fluttershy is absolutely not the sort of pony who would do something so drastic. Trying to quieten her racing mind, Rarity wondered exactly how many other ponies had thought that exact same thing before stumbling across a loved one who had chosen to end their suffering in the only manner that made any sense to them.

No.

True, Fluttershy's soul was a sensitive one, but she was not so easily broken; Rarity racked her brain, trying to find any evidence – any statement which might've seemed innocuous at the time – to support her wild conclusion and drew a blank. It just wasn't possible.

Was it?

Taking several cleansing breaths, Rarity tried to calm her racing pulse; she was just being silly, overreacting because of the influence of so many trashy books. Real life didn't follow such a spurious narrative. There was a simple explanation for all of this and she was going to find it!

“What was that?”

The sound didn't repeat itself immediately and for half a second Rarity thought that she'd just imagined it, so overcome was she by a rising sense of dread, but then she heard it again and it set her teeth on edge when it did. A gentle sloshing of water from the upstairs bathroom.

All ladylike pretence deserted her in that moment; she felt as if her worst fears had just been confirmed, and her adrenaline took over, kicking her last vestiges rationality to the curb. She took the steps three at a time, tripping over so often that she was quite certain that all four of her shins were going to be covered in bruises come tomorrow morning, but she just didn't care. As soon as Rarity reached the landing, she sprinted across the hard wood floor and practically kicked down the door – it was unlocked, but she hadn't known that at the time and wouldn't have cared if she did – silently grateful for the fact that she'd kept up with her martial arts training over the years.

“Fluttershy?”

No answer.

If you were a first-time visitor to Fluttershy's bathroom, your eyes would quite naturally be drawn to the outsize reinforced solid oak tub that she'd had specially made to accommodate her larger animal companions; it was the first thing that Rarity noticed, too, but not because of its sheer enormity. Contained within it, submerged beneath the crystal clear water, was a yellow figure, eyes closed as if in sleep.

She looked serene.

Angelic.

Long strands of hair formed a fuzzy pink aura around her slender body; her wings were fully extended, though they were plastered heavily against the sides of the tub. Had they unravelled themselves of their own accord in a last-gasp attempt to save her?

Trepidation marring her every step, Rarity approached the tub. “Fluttershy, are you … awake?” She scanned the pegasus' body quickly, looking for any signs of injury – concentrating especially on her ankles – and found nothing. Perhaps she'd …? “Fluttershy?”

“No response.”

Carefully, she reached into the water and wrapped her hooves around the back of Fluttershy's neck. Gently, reverentially almost, Rarity lifted her free of the water and her eyes snapped open.

She looked at Rarity, beryl meeting soft blue and registering confusion.

“Fluttershy, darling,” Rarity said with extraordinary calmness as she eased the pegasus' head the rest of the way out of the water, making sure to keep her sodden hair out of her eyes, “do be a dear and please tell me why you found it necessary to try and drown yourself?”