Anon's Serenades

by Kuroy

The Circle

Very early in the morning, while Luna’s moon still held dominion in the sky, a plot was afoot. Canterlot was still nestled in the sleepy glow of starlight. Bakers arose to start baking, farmers arose to start farming, and a very familiar human was scheming.

Anon had many problems since being flung into Equestria. He had done all he could to get to this moment though. He had worked long hours and meticulously planned this move. Months of planning, countless yellow and green obstacles had been removed. Psychological torment was nothing to him, he might as well have been brain dead to the world. His whole life in Equestria was leading to this moment that would soon arise like the sun.

He ducked and dodged through the hallways of the castle, evading patrols of the ever-fluffy bat ponies. Hiding behind plants and suits of armor that where in no way shaped like him. One wrong turn would be all it would take to make his plans crumble into dust.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Anon froze.

He knew the echolocation of the bat ponies when he heard it and stood perfectly still. They couldn’t see him if he didn’t move. Or at least that was what the movies said...

Or was that dinosaurs.

The clippity clop of hooves and flippy flap of wings signaled the approach of a patrol. Lacking any real cover Anon did the only thing he could think of. He threw his arms in the air and put his back facing the wall, doing his best impression of a stuffed snarling bear.

The Lunar guards came into view. One mare sniff snuffling with her super snozz trying to find the source of sound she heard. Her partner, the unfortunate stallion named Shadow Shield, ignored Anon pointedly and desperately wished to be anywhere else. The eccentric mare examined the Anon/Bear, eyes going separate directions as she let out a screech of echolocation. Lacking Clarity had always been a bit special, or at least that's what her Momma said before she left her in front of the barracks. Yes for Clarity it was almost like yesterday, if yesterday was when she was a young foal. She had dedicated her life to protecting the Princesses, it was her duty.

“HA HA Doody. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
SHIELDY? I SAW SOMETHING MOOOOOVE.”

“That’s just Anon Clarity, he is that human that showed up a couple of months ago. Just ignore him, you don’t know where he has been.”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… SHIELDY ANON ISN’T HERE THERE IS JUST A STUFFED BEAR?”

Shadow Shield sighed and began to drag his subordinate down the hallway. “I don’t get paid enough to babysit you.”

After the guards rounded the corner Anon unfroze.

Score! They totally didn’t notice.

After a few more moments he found the spot that he had chosen to enact his plan. He made sure everything was perfect. Today would be his moment. Today he would profess his love through song and she of the glorious booty would know that Anon was a talented and desirable mate. His talent only matched by his prowess as a lover, which was a talent he was eager to share.

Elsewhere in the Castle, Sol Invictus, The Unconquerable Sun, her shining radiance Princess Celestia rose gracefully from her bed. A bastion of dignity and poise the likes of which can barely be comprehended by mere mortals.

Or as her sister more accurately describes, “She flops onto the floor, hooves waving like a fish out of water until her assistant Raven brings her tea.”

Surprisingly enough the embodiment of the sun did not rise as gracefully as her heavenly body, And at times would refuse to leave bed, especially in winter.

You didn’t thing days where shorter in winter because of some sort of axis tilting mad science did you? Celestia just doesn’t like to leave bed while it’s cold. I mean who would. You bucking sadist.

Crazy Round Equus-ers.

I digress. The Solar Diarch, quadarch… Cinarch? (Too many bucking alicorns) Made her way to her balcony. Properly caffeinated she could now carry out her duty of not allowing the world to freeze and bring the glory of the sun to all.

Princess Celestia watched as her sister lowered the moon from a balcony to the right of her balcony. The younger sister waved tiredly, and preceded to watch her sister begin a new day. Despite what many believe Luna enjoyed watching the sunrise. It signified her time of rest and relaxation.

As the Sun crested the horizon a Scream broke the silence followed by what sounded like Zebracan?

Celestia and Luna turned in shock to see on a balcony to the left of Celestia, was Anon.

He stood with on foot on top of a boombox, wearing a shirt that read “Praise the Sun”

He was singing along, rather horribly, disgracing the Zebracan language.

“Anon what are you-“

“ON THE DAY WE ARRIVE ON THE PLANET, AND BLINKING STEP INTO THE SUN.”

“Anon, Seriously what the hell are you doing. I am in the middle of raising the sun. It is a very delica-”

“IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE! AND IT MOVES US ALLLL.”

“Anon you need to stop. Please. Luna stop laughing. This is not a time to be fooling around.” Celestia struggled to control her magic, focusing for a bit she managed to get the sun in the sky.

“IT’S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE! AND IT MOVES US ALLLL.”

Celestia soon found herself in her place in the world. After teleporting behind Anon. Fury framed the face of the goddess. Anon was oblivious, so enraptured in his singing and in the final note of his song Celestia kicked him off the balcony, his voice trailing the final note as he fell.

“OOOOOOF LIIIIIIIIiiiiifffe.”

Splat!

Luna having made her way to the balcony turned to her sister.

“Tia, Tis thine turn to return Anon to the living. I doth think he admires you.”

“And I him Luna, he makes for very good impressionist art splattered in my garden.”

Comments

[B4ssxCello]

You’ve got a like and a follow from me, this promises to be funny-
Next pony- Cadance, even though she’s married