Care Root's Bizarre Adventure

by Ditherer the Fussbudget

Welcome to the Human Race

Another day, at CHS, a month since… whatever gave you these abilities. Over the last thirty days, it seems like everyone’s earned a latent superpower. Super strength, speed, flying… Even a couple of weird ones.

Not everyone reveals their powers. Some people are too cool. You… aren’t.

You are Care Root, walking the hallways between bells. You could pretend to get something out of your locker, but you carry everything in your backpack: the backup calculator, the lunch you’ve packed every day since sixth grade, the half-full notebook you only keep to practice your shorthand in… In general, you feel like you aren’t supposed to be in this building.

“Hey, Wiz Kid!” You hear the name and the greying face of Mr. Wizard fills your mind. Another person needs to tell you something; joy fills your every nerve.

It’s not someone in front of you, or you’d have seen their mouth moving. You wonder, can you consciously tell direction from acoustics alone, if you train yourself? Maybe. Human beings have very elastic capabilities, compared to other animals.

You turn around. It’s one of Sentry’s. The one with blue hair, whatshisname.

“Your shirt’s inside out, man!” he calls as he walks past you, slapping you on the shoulder. Other students notice, but before they can say anything you walk away.

You could cut this building in half, if you wanted.

You’d just have to kill yourself afterwards. If your powers let you.

Your “Stand” feels like it should be called ｢Timbuk Three｣. You don’t know why. Just like you don’t know why they’re called “Stands”. If it’s because they “Stand beside you” like everyone says, shouldn’t they be called “Floats”? Not to mention that you’ve seen a couple that can’t even stand in the first place.

Yours could, though, if it weren’t busy hovering with its crotch in orbit around your head. A lanky mouthless man in cowboy boots, body blue highlighted with gold. And those tubes of faint red, like a spent glowstick. You know what it can do, and why you can never use it: it brings the glow of the future into the present.

All the happy memories you haven’t had yet can be traded in like used books, for a few seconds of power at a time. You would never be stupid enough to use this power over nothing, but that wasn’t the worst of it. No, you’ve tried, just to test it out, and it won’t work for you.

After exerting enough effort, you were able to see your options, how much you had left to “trade in”. Your life from now until your dying day had about a dozen, all of them swollen with importance. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. You know you have power, raw power of some kind or another, but even you know technical info about a weapon can’t beat actual training with it.

You will never get to show off your Stand, or get to make a name for yourself with your cool superpowers, or live a normal, happy, slightly disappointing life. You will never really be happy.

If only you could take that more seriously. Not counting the high of friendship magic each time the Rainbooms win something, you don’t remember the last time you felt happy.

The bathroom is empty, but one stall is wet and the other’s been locked from the inside. You sigh at how human beings can manage to be creative in all the wrong ways. There’s nowhere clean to put your bag, so you settle for under the dryers. Then you take your shirt off, praying no one comes in.

The bell rings as soon as it’s halfway off, of course. Sigh.

It’s not that being late can really hurt you at this point. And, honestly, Cheerilee doesn’t really care about attendance either way. Being late just makes you feel bad.

At least it’s less likely someone will walk in on you.

This is the last time you’re wearing anything but the white dress shirt. You wanted to try on something plain, red, without the little pin on it, but it’s clearly too much trouble. Button-ups don’t lie.

You flip it so the tag’s on the inside and try to dress yourself. It takes a couple attempts to get it turned around the right way, but it falls to your intellect eventually.

In fact, you put it back on in time to hear the stall creak open. A girl comes out.

You do a quick double-take of the room while avoiding eye contact.

Yes, there are urinals here. And that stall was empty. It passed the foot check, at least. Was she holding her knees?

She seems nervous, too. You turn and look her in the eyes. They’re crossed, golden like her hair. You feel like you can almost remember her from somewhere.

“Do I know you?” Your voice is hoarse, and she jumps a bit before turning to face you.

”...Are you after the watch?”

“The what?” Man, that made you sound stupid. You try to salvage it. “Watch? No.”

Not much better.

”Oh. Then why are you in the girls’ bathroom?”

You triple-check because maybe you’re seeing things. No, you’re in the right place. Cynically you half-expect her to laugh at you for checking and then leave without an explanation. ...That might be easier to respond to, actually.

Her left eye is staring at you intently, waiting for her answer.

“Uh… actually, this is the boys’ bathroom.” You gesture weakly at the room.

She blanches. ”Oh, goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m always getting these things confused!” She runs outside. You move to follow her, and suddenly lose the desire to.

Did you know her? No. You hadn’t even seen her before, probably. Why were you so sure she was important?

Then she’s pushed back through the door by a buff grey-skinned guy. You think he might be a janitor, maybe with kids who go here. He definitely looks too old to be a student.

She’s so... familiar, though. You don’t know why you’re flip-flopping over this so much.

“--know you have it, you Downie bitch! Where’d you put it?”

”I don’t have anything!” Her lying face is terrible.

”If you won’t tell me, I can bring out my Stand.” Standard threat.

Wait. Stand. That’s what the feeling is. Your Stand is tugging at your mind.

You draw your attention to「Timbuk Three」

...It’s grown. Your list of happy moments. Your fuel. It’s... huge. Did it take a long time to load, or something?

”It’s not yours anyway! You only took it from Photo!” She’s not backing down from this guy. He could probably get her suspended or expelled, if he were smart. As it stands, he can at least beat her up over it.

Looking at her face, you realize that your list shrank when she left and grew when she came back in. In fact, you realize that she’s actually rather pretty, standing there defiantly.

“Alright, you asked for it...” The janitor turns to you and points a thumb at the door. ”Get lost, squirt.”

You consider what you’re about to do. Then you do it anyway.

“No.”

He looks at you, open-mouthed. ”What’d you say?”

Good question. “I said no. You leave her alone.” Yeah… you did say that, didn’t you? Well. Better to die now than drip-feed happiness for the next sixty years, you guess.

You try to shake your apathy. This is your own life you’re standing up for! If you had this much happiness in it already, you wouldn’t trade it for anything. You need to muster some energy over it!

The giant isn’t having this problem. As a matter of fact, he’s grinning ear to ear. God, he’s got a chin that goes on for miles.

”Fuckin’ the school ‘tard, son? Ain’t that sweet. I’ll have to make her watch what I do to you.”

Okay, when did your heartbeat become noticeable? The world feels clearer now. You feel your Stand pushing at you from… well, from a direction that doesn’t exist. From inside the coils of your spirit, if you wanted to be poetic.

”If she’s given you any little presents from my family, you’re gonna regret it. ｢Sweet Thing｣!” He summons his Stand. It looks like a full-body plaster of Hulk Hogan, except for the coloring. It’s blood red, and it’s eyes are eternally staring with uncomfortable intensity. It poses, too, arms crossed and back to back with your enemy.

Okay. The girl’s looking at you. She seems kind of stunned - you hope. You’re not gonna fuck this up.

“｢Timbuk Three｣!” It bursts out of your body, and you feel a slight emptiness where it used to be. Its fists are clenched and put up for combat. The red tubing around the arms and through the chest is bright now.

The yellow-haired girl shields her eyes. You reach out with your mind and grab for something happy as this human wall walks towards you.

You find a few small moments in the near future and grab them without examining them. Your Stand points a finger at its counterpart and a series of pinpoint lasers shoot out like Morse. It crosses its arms and blocks, but it’s enough to singe the guy.

Fuck, this thing seems pretty tough.

”That all you got? Let me show you my power!” His Stand bears down on you, arm raised for a left hook.

Shit! Jump! Get out of the way, you deer!

You do a shaky sidestep. ｢Timbuk Three｣ grabs an arm and yanks you off-balance, sendin you stumbling further backwards.

The fist collides with the driers, crumpling them on impact. That would pulverize your skull in a single hit. He steps in now that you’re inside the bathroom proper. You can’t see the entrance any longer, and he’s moving toward the sinks - in other words, you’re blocked in.

That’s fine, you can just find something...

You realize you can’t feel your Stand’s energy any longer. The light’s gone from it.

You can’t see her, and maybe she ran away. And you only have twelve moments to use, again.

Okay, not the time to panic, you’ve got to stall this guy. “Is that all your Stand can do? Too lazy to go to the gym and fight your own battles?”

He laughs. It’s a mean laugh. ”Come over here and find out.”

Wherever she is, you need to find her. Your chance to save her can’t be gone yet! Or maybe she’s just not in your range, you can’t tell what that even feels like.

You have to get past this fuckwit.

“Alright, I’ll show you my true power! ｢Timbuk Three｣!”

You can see the moment as you burn it: it’s your Nobel. Forty years of thankless work, for that one simple prize. That moment of recognition. Gone forever, now.

You feel like you’re cutting off your own body parts.

He grins again as your Stand lights up and his own punches a sink in half. Water spills everywhere. You focus all the power through your Stand’s chest, and project a fist of hard light. You’d always wanted to do that.

Then you give him a right hook of your own! The room explodes with brightness, and for a moment all you can see is white. You feel the exhiliration of knowing that’s not even all your power! You could keep this up for a few more minutes if you had to!

But then the white fades, and apart from the specks in your eyes, you can make out the room again. And... he’s still standing there.

He laughs. ”You should see the look on your face!”

“H… how? How are you still fine?” Then you notice the marks on the wall around him where the tile’s been bleached white again.

”It’s all in my Stand, kid. Even when I miss, whatever ｢Sweet Thing｣ touches hates you!” He waves a meaty hand at the sink as it spits up a thick jet of water between the two of you. ”I knew you were doing something with light, and I knew water could move it out of the way.”

...Did this guy just kick your ass with refraction?

Wait. “How did you know what my Stand did?” It wasn’t that obvious, was it?

He laughs again. ”Someone keeps tabs on Stand users, kid. They want armies. I’d’ve beaten you into shape and put you in mine, but that’s not my style. And your girl’s got something I want.” Then, at last, he realizes it’s just the two of you in the room. ”Speaking of that, I’d better go deal with her. Have fun until I get back.”

His Stand smashes the ground, and he walks away.

“Hey! Get back here!” You fire a thick beam of heat and light at his back, and one of the driers explodes. Startled, you topple, and the shot goes wild, puncturing the ceiling.

The floor’s starting to flood now, and you fall right on it.

“Gotta… save her…” You get up on your knees. Then you slip and fall again.

Oh, yeah. The floor “hates” you too, doesn’t it?

You’ve got another two minutes of power. Less if you push it. You crawl towards the exit.

The remaining drier sputters and starts burning as you come in its direction. A tongue of flame pours out and rests casually in your path, roasting your already wet backpack.

Can’t [i[anything give you a break?

You fire a continuous laser in the broken sink’s direction. It shoots up a jet of water, and the fire sputters and dies. Satisfied that it isn’t going to start again, you keep crawling.

As soon as you’re back on filthy tile, it’s time to drag yourself up and get moving. You bust through the door and find her immediately, being held up by the throat! Her legs are kicking and her hands are trying to pry his off.

In his free palm, he’s examining something: a little wristwatch. There’s no way it fits him.

He turns to you. ”Bitch had it on her! Can you believe it?”

“Let go of her!”

”Or what? You’ll put on another lightshow?” He turns to her. ”Looks like chivalry ain’t dead after all, huh?”

If she makes a response, neither of you can make it out. All you know is that you still don’t have those extra moments back.

”Alright, tough guy. Say pretty please and maybe she’ll just walk away with some bad bruises.”

You fire a laser clean through his wrist.

His fingers jerk open, and she falls and slumps to the ground. He grabs his hand, glaring at you, and you match the look.

Then, unbelievably, he retreats, his Stand punching every surface it can on the way.

You rush over to the girl. She’s conscious, but fatigued.

“Are you alright? What’s your name?”

She notices you. ”Have to…” She rolls and turns to the retreating giant, trying to get up with fire in her eyes.

Your Stand’s getting dimmer and dimmer. Still no future memories...

So that’s it.

You put a hand on her shoulder. This is the first time you’ve touched a girl in… you try not to think about that. “I’ll take care of him.”

You’ve got thirty seconds left. That’s plenty.

“Hey! We’re not done here. You have something that doesn’t belong to you!” You shout.

He looks over his shoulder at you from twenty-five feet away, as you prepare to unload all of your energy into physical space.

The floor feels like it could shift under you. Ceiling tiles feel especially loose. His Stand is out and ready for you.

“You think making the world hate me will be enough to stop me?” Your Stand glows fiercely, with more than the power of your future. “The world already hates me! It has for years now! I’ll never let something as tiny as that keep me from KICKING YOUR FUCKING TEETH IN! ｢TIMBUK THREE｣!”

You throw a punch, and a fist the size of the hallway flies at him. Slowly.

Ceiling tiles dislodge and break against it. Lockers find excuses to fall open, and get smacked away in its path. His own Stand throws a punch at it, and struggles to hold it back.

It falters. You can’t see it, but you can feel it failing to hold you back, and you run after the fist.

｢Sweet Thing｣ fails, and you get through. Quickly, you shred some of the light off of the main attack, focusing an edge to it. You’re working with senses you didn’t know you had!

While this guy’s being hit, his pockets are already cut open. Your power throws him through a wall into the teacher’s lounge, hard enough to give him road rash.

You scoop up what fell out. It’s a little Mickey Mouse watch, still ticking. Ha.

Man, you’re really late to class now, aren’t you?

You turn to check on her, and notice the crowd that’s gathered. By some miracle, there are no teachers yet. Some of them are looking at you, but a lot are looking just up and to the right of you.

If they can see your Stand, they can threaten it. You recall it, and try to ignore them.

She’s still on the ground. You make your way over, crouch and hand the watch to her. When she sees it, the fire leaves her eyes and she looks immensely relieved.

”It belonged to one of the Freshman girls. I thought for sure he’d broken it...” She pockets it, and you help her up, only for her to hug you. ”Thank you! I’m sorry I thought you were creeping around the girls’ bathroom!”

Could’ve done without that in front of all the people. But having her arms up around you feels heavenly.

“Well, you can count on me,” you say, and drunk on this victory you add, “I’m Care Root, and I don’t let people bully and hurt the innocent.”

Okay, maybe that was a little thick… But she looks into your eyes, and hers light up. She understands you mean that.

“I’m Derpy. Could you help me give this back to the girl who owned it?”

“Sure.” You feel your power increase and your Stand brighten again.

The future stretches out in front of you. And goodness, is it bright.

｢TO BE CONTINUED｣

Stand: ｢Sweet Thing｣
User: Fido
Abilities: Any inanimate object punched by ｢Sweet Thing｣ will be actively hostile to those fighting the user. These punches are strong enough that they always necessarily damage solid objects.

Author's Note:

The "pilot" chapter, a little unpolished compared to the rest of the story. Looking back on it from the halfway point, where it's finally reached novel length, I feel I should advise my readers that CRBA hits its groove at chapter 5.