Hot story, but needs a lot of editing work.

7744723 - I know it needs more editing. But after 3 passes I just had to release it... or it goes nowhere.

7744914 considered asking someone?

It was steamy (sorry couldn't resist) and sweet. Gramatical errors aside it was nice for a quick clop read. The writing is decent, the main appeal really is that its olderxyounger lesbian. We don't get those as often as we can (without a princess being involved). Keep it up and keep improving.

(I wouldn't mind seeing the morning after. But make sure its not too much like the night before. There are many other positions and things two mares can do to each other even without toys *wink wink*)

I would like a second chapter of this

Living Robot - I have no one to ask.

7750658
7745555
I figured if some readers will put up with my bad grammar, AND want a second chapter...

Well...

we shall see.