Golden Harvest - Babysitter

by SpigotOfTheFrigate

Day 2

In the fields surrounding Ponyville there was a certain farm. While this farm may not have been unusual, it was certainly atypical. For starters it was tiny. It was comprised entirely of a single field that had been crudely divided into thirds in order to allow for crop rotation, an over grown herb garden the size of a bathtub, a barn that was closer to being a shed, and a house that was closer to being a shack. If asked, most ponies around town would say its name was The Carrot Patch. Some others would say it was Carrot’s Patch. A few older farmers would say it was the Forsaken Acre, because of its supposedly cursed soil. The farm’s owner usually answered with something along the lines of, “It’s a farm, why the fuck would it need a name?” Then she would usually shoo the asking pony off her property.

If it sounded like a rundown, piece of crap, farm only the most desperate of ponies would buy, that’s because it was. And yet Golden Harvest, the farm’s owner, had literally hospitalized the one pony stupid enough to say that around her. She loved everything about her little farm.

Most of all she loved the solitude it provided. Small fields meant she could operate the farm by herself. A small house discouraged guests. Her nearest neighbor lived almost two-and-a-half miles away, and that was still a little close for Golden’s liking.

The seclusion gave her plenty of time to do her favorite things, like farming. Not a day went by without her tending her fields. She would methodically and patiently plow, sow, weed, and ultimately harvest her precious crops with a tenderness usually reserved for parents and children.

Unfortunately if the isolation had a downside it was that it allowed her to develop some bad habits. As an example some time ago she had begun to talk to herself. Of course she justified it by saying that talking to the carrots helped them grow. In all honesty though she suspected ranting at carrots still wasn’t the strongest indicator of mental wellbeing.

“And then I just sat there for four damned hours with my hoof up my ass.” She ranted one Monday morning. It was day two of her babysitting adventure and she was not pleased with how the first day had gone.

“So I remake the whole fucking meal. And I mean it was some of my best work. Celestia herself could have eaten it, and she probably would’ve loved every bite. But do they care?” She asked the unsurprisingly silent carrots. “NO! Dinky just sat there playing with her food, and Amethyst… urgh… she just downs her fill without a word and runs back to her room.”

“I’ve never been as grateful for goddess damned public education as I was this morning. A few hours alone is exactly what I needed. I’m serious though, just a little acknowledgment. That’s all I wanted. Is that too much to fucking ask for?” She cried to the heavens.

“Eeyup.” Came the heavens deep masculine reply from behind her.

In flash Golden pirouetted with a majestic cry of “Luna’s left teat!” She found herself face to face with a gigantic red stallion. She had only ever known two ponies that size and color. Being that he was a stallion it could only be her cousin Macintosh.

Now she actually got along pretty well with him. He was a quiet, dependable, and patient stallion who was more than willing to look past Golden’s flaws. To him they were family, end of discussion. That being said he was still just childish enough to love pushing Golden’s buttons. So him sneaking up on her was something he did all too often. And so he shouldn’t have been surprised by her reaction.

“You mother-fucking, eye-gouging, cock-sucking, pain-in-the-ass, douchebag!” She said delivering a punch to his shoulder as a form punctuation. “Don’t you know better than to sneak up on somepony when they’re farming!?”

“Eeyup. It’s jus’ funny.” He said with a chuckle.

She slugged him one more time just for good measure. That was a mistake. Macintosh had muscles like iron bars so punching him mostly resulted in a sore hoof. She stood there for a few moments, fuming. Finally she sighed heavily, sat down and began to rub her temples.

“You’re such a dick. Did you come by just to bother me?” She asked exasperatedly.

“Thought I’d come check on ya. Do a little eavesdroppin’.” He said with the same little smirk he always had when teasing her.

“So heard about my little assignment, did you?” She couldn’t help but cock an eyebrow. “Couldn’t help but wonder just how bad I fucked it up?”

“Thought I might be able to help.” His smirk disappeared. He moved and sat down next to her. Golden couldn’t help but to like his presence. It was familial, fraternal even.

“Wanna take’em off my hooves?” She asked halfheartedly.

“Nope. But I think you did alright.”

“Bullshit.” She couldn’t help but give him a skeptical look.

“Did you know Applejack’s allergic to pears?” He asked staring up at the sky.

“No,” an evil grin spread across her face “but that’s good to know.”

“I found that out when she was nine. Ma an’ Pa were in Manehattan visitn’ Aunt an’ Uncle Orange. Granny went into town to run the cart in town. I was left in charge. Made AJ a fruit salad. Thought pears’d be a nice treat, since we didn’t have’em too often. Had to rush to the hospital with her own my back.” He threw a foreleg over her shoulders. “So if nopony went to the hospital I think ya did fine.”

“Guess my standards are just a touch higher than that.” They shared a chuckle. “Got any advice beyond don’t poison them, oh wise babysitting guru?”

“Be yourself.”

Golden laughed a cold, hard, and humorless laugh.

“I mean it. Ditzy and I had a pact after our folks passed. We met once a week for almost five years. We still meet ‘bout once a month. One of the first things we learned was we couldn’t replace’em. We could remember’em. We could honor’em. We could do right by’em. But that was all. We had to move on. We had to do it our way.”

“Never knew you guys were so close.”

“Eeyup…”

The silence filled the air between the two of them. It was the silence of the outdoors, which turns out to be rather loud. In the distance birds were singing. Nearby a cricket was chirping. All the while the wind rustled every leaf on the farm. At the same time it managed to catch the roof of Golden’s shed and produced a somber atonal whistling. The two simply sat there for a moment of silence, lost in their thoughts. Until Golden finally spoke.

“Do you remember the day we got detention?” Golden finally asked quietly.

“Which time?” Macintosh asked back equally quietly.

“The first time. When we got into that fight with each other.”

“Eeyup.”

“I can still remember when we first got there. Old Mr. Lecturn sat us down, locked the door, and said that he wouldn’t let us go until we reached some sort of understanding.”

Macintosh’s smirk returned with a vengeance. “Eeyup.”

Silence settled once more between the two as they reminisced. After a few seconds Golden reached out and punched her cousin again. This time though it was much lighter, little more than a tap. It was a friendly hit, a bizarre substitute for a more intimate display of affection.

“Thanks… asshole.” She said with as much tenderness as she could stomach.

Macintosh gave a small incline of his head.

“Now you better get back home before Applebitch realizes you’re gone.” She said with a smirk of her own. He wasn’t the only one who knew how to push buttons.

…

Dusty Doo and Stanza Star hadn’t been able to leave much to their daughters when they passed. There was the house of course, a small collection of books, a few cameras, and a decent life’s savings. But they left behind something that was often overlooked, the appreciation for silence. Stanza, being a librarian, grew accustomed to it while she worked. Dusty spent days at a time in the Everfree Forest, listening to beasts growl, birds cry, and the wind moan. He learned to appreciate a little peace and quiet when he returned to civilization. Some even said this mutual attraction to calm doldrums was what they first saw in each other.

Even all these years later Golden could never understand it. Quiet was nice but silence, real silence, was… boring. It wound her up, and eventually she snapped like a cheap watch spring. So the one time she had decided to splurge in her frugal life she bought a rusty, old gramophone and few records. She found music a great way to kill time.

And so it was she was about halfway through B.B. Rex's Live & Well, when she heard the front door of the Doo household open. She opened her eyes, got off the couch, and faced the new arrival.

Golden had to stop herself from chuckling at the sight of her. Amethyst looked like a sheep who had just stumbled into a den of wolves. An uncomfortable, fidgety, nervous sheep. She was obviously thrown off her game, which is exactly what Golden was going for. Music was never a big part of Amethyst’s life. Ditzy sang on occasion and Rarity would play some classical piece or another when they were working together, but it was nothing like an old diamond dog crooning about all that is wrong with the world.

“Uuuh… hey.” The teen said testing the waters.

“Hey yourself.” Golden said as neutrally as she could.

The two simply stood there. Sizing each other up.

“So, as you may have noticed yesterday sucked.” A small part of Golden relished in the sight of Amethyst’s eyebrows rocketing upwards. “Now I sure as… heck… don’t want the whole week to go like that and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. So we’re gonna see to it that it doesn’t.”

“Really? And just how do you plan to do that?” Amethyst said skeptically. It was clear that Rarity’s mentorship was rubbing off on her. She said every word with a crisp and airy socialite accent. She articulated every word with a jeweler’s precision.

“By talking it out. We’ve got half an hour before we have to pick up Dinky from school. So we’re gonna clear the air. Everything’s on the table. What’dya say Amethyst, mind helping me keep this week from ending in tragedy?” Most ponies at this point would hope their plan was going to work. But Golden had stopped buying into the whole “hope” thing when she was younger. She was going to make this work. To her a square peg could absolutely fit in a round hole if you’re willing to push hard enough.

“So I can talk about anything?” Amethyst asked. Golden nodded. “And you won’t be mad?”

Golden paused as she thought through her answer. “I won’t make a promise I can’t keep, but you’re free to get pi- that is, mad right back at me.”

“Then first things first, you need to stop calling me Amethyst. No one calls me that. Not Ditzy, not Rarity, not Dinky, not my friends, not my teachers. Everypony calls me Sparkler.” Amethyst said in what was very close to being a tirade.

“Sorry but I hate nicknames.” Golden explained in a matter of fact way. Much to Amethyst’s confusion.

“Why?” She asked in an absolutely bewildered tone. “What possible reason could you have to hate nicknames of all things?"

“Well, because you are who you are. And ponies can’t change who you are just by changing your name. Or something like that.” She said with ever declining surety as she tried to explain her dislike of pseudonyms. “Plus I hate my nickname.”

There was a pause in the conversation as Golden waited for Amethyst’s response. Eventually she realized it wasn’t coming. She had to say something.

“Okay. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me not to do this, but I’ll try calling you Sparkler.” She said feeling her bile rise.

Sparkler seemed under impressed with the concession. After a few moments she spoke up again.

“I’m too old for a babysitter.” It sounded more petulant than she had probably intended.

“Ehhh…” Golden couldn’t help but roll her head dubiously.

“I’m almost sixteen. I can look after myself, thank you very much!” Sparkler declared, puffing out her chest in adolescent pride.

“Being fifteen means you might be able to take care of yourself. You could probably even fu-” Golden paused as she caught herself. “I mean, you can probably look after Dinky too, but being a teenager means you’re still young enough for a safety net.”

“And you are supposed to be my safety net?” Sparkler hissed venomously through gritted teeth. “Ditzy trusts you more than me!?”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?!”

Then Golden had a crystallizing moment. She hadn’t thought of that. Why was she here? Ditzy may not have had tons of friends, but she had more than just her. Almost anypony would have been a better choice. Rarity got along better with Sparkler. Cheerilee got along better with Dinky. Macintosh was more patient than she was, Time Turner was more fun, and Redheart was more nurturing. Lyra and Bon-Bon were even trying to have kids of their own. And yet here she was in defiance of common sense. What did she have that they didn’t?

“Oh.” Golden muttered as it all clicked for her.

“What?” Sparkler said now thoroughly perplexed.

“I think I got it.” Golden explained before motioning toward the couch. “Let’s sit down.”

Sparkler followed cautiously to the sofa, before sitting down next to Golden. She made sure to leave plenty of space between the two of them.

“Look Ditzy does trust you. If she didn’t someone else would be here.” Golden said plainly.

“Bu-” Golden forestalled Sparkler’s response with a raised hoof.

“Let me finish. If Ditzy thought you needed a sitter she would’ve asked somepony, anypony, else. I think this is about me.” That got Sparkler’s curiosity if her expression had any truth in it. “I’ve got a little sister, Beta Keratin. I love her. More than I can say. But… well my mom and I… kinda hate each other. So if I’m lucky I get to see her twice a year. It’s… well it’s… tough. Damn tough.” Golden had to pause for a moment. Damn tough didn’t come close to describing the pit in her stomach that formed whenever she thought about Beta.

“Part of me thinks this whole thing is just Ditzy’s way to help.” Another lull came after that. Silence would have filled the air if not for the dulcet but forlorn guitar of B.B. Rex.

“It won’t work. I wish it would but it won’t. I’m not Ditzy, and you’re not Beta.” Golden looked intently at her hooves. She was lost in her self-pity when she felt a hoof on her shoulder.

“We could still try.” Sparkler almost whispered.

Golden’s only response was a calm and dignified “Bwuh?” Sparkler shifted a little before going on.

“What I mean to say is, I love Ditzy, and for whatever reason Ditzy loves you. So we should at least try to get along, for her sake.” Sparkler said with a small hopeful smile. In that moment Golden saw something. She saw the same toothy grin Ditzy seemed to perpetually wear. The same one Stanza had passed down to her. The same one that Ditzy would pass on to her own children one day. It was a strange thing to notice, but it was comforting in a way.

“So how was school today?” Golden asked a little cheer returning to her voice.

“It’s… fine.” Sparkler said evasively suddenly finding the windows very interesting. A devious little smirk formed on Golden’s face.

“Ah, “fine”. Wanna fill me in?” Golden asked in a sickly sweet voice.

“What do you mean?” Sparkler asked guiltily avoiding eye contact at all cost.

“Well,” Golden began as she walked over to the gramophone and flipping the record to side two. “When school is “fine” it’s either grades, or a boy.” She said throwing a knowing look over her shoulder. Sparkler meanwhile was busy trying to hide her blush.

“So what’s his name?” Golden asked like the smart-ass she was.

“Ralli Cart.” She said hiding her face in her hooves.

“Dog Cart’s son?”

“Yes.” Sparkler said as she trotted into the kitchen. As she did her horn flared to life preparing herself a glass water with her magic.

“And?” Golden said following her.

“He’s an earth-pony with a midnight blue coat, a glossy black mane, and these icy grey eyes that you’ve got to see to believe.” Sparkler said a dreamy glaze plastered on her face. “Not to mention flanks you could cut diamonds on.”

Golden’s grimace came fast and hard to her face.

“Too much?” Sparkler asked her blush intensifying to critical levels.

“A little. So have you asked him out yet?”

“What?! No, no, no, no, no. I can’t just… just…” Failing to finish her sentence Sparkler instead sipped her water.

“Sure you can. All you do is walk up to him and say “Hi, mind if I cut a few diamonds on you a- I mean flanks?”” Golden teased.

“I’m serious!” came the indignant reply.

“Me too. If you want something in life you have to fu- ahem, take it. What’s the worst that could happen?” Golden asked.

“I could get rejected!” Sparkler practically shrieked.

“So?”

Sparkler was floored at that. She just stood there with a gaping maw and eyes the size of dinner plates.

“I’d be humiliated, a laughing stock, a… social pariah!”

“For a few days. Then someone else will get there turn.” Golden spoke with the wisdom of experience.

Sparkler paused to think things over and Golden held her tongue. They stood like that for a moment. Golden was amazed at how cozy the silence was. Just a few minutes earlier it would have been an awkward one, now though it was comfortable. It could have gone on much longer if the record hadn’t finally ended.

But end it did. In one last glorious cord that some managed to say more than it ever had on any previous playing. It spoke of the past, the present, and the future. Of absent friends and first loves. Of summer winds and winter snows. Of chances yet untaken and opportunities lost to the flow of time. Not a bad job for three notes on a cheap, battered, old record.

“We need to go.” Sparkler said when the music finally faded.

“Huh?” Golden said still half lost in the music.

“Dinky? Picking her up? From school?” Sparkler said with a demure grin.

“Oh fuck!” Golden cried looking at the clock. Then she froze, every muscle tensing and sweat beading on her brow. She had finally done it. It was a critical moment in time. Golden could practically feel the timeline split in two. All she could hope for was that she ended up in the timeline where everything worked out.

Sparkler snorted. Then she chuckled. And finally she was guffawing loudly. Then Golden joined in and the two laughed the whole way out the door and down to the road. Eventually the two calmed down.

“Ameth-” Golden started before she caught herself. “Sparkler?”

Sparkler stopped and turned to face her.

“You’re a good mare in a bad world. Don’t let anypony or anything say otherwise.” She spoke while doing her best to pat her back with any degree of grace.

“You’re not at all bad yourself,” Sparkler replied giving her temporary caretaker a short, affectionate nuzzle. “Golden Harvest.”

Golden gave her a disbelieving look. It had been so long since anyone had called her by her proper name. She couldn’t help but put a little pep in her step.

And so it was that the two of them walked to the schoolhouse, ready to face whatever fate had in store for them. At this point most ponies would be hopeful, but not Golden. She had something better than hope. She had confidence, and a new friend