Prologue
I’m sick of this.
It’s not fair.
It’s just not right.
My creation is beautiful, the stars bright, and the moon full, but what do they do, they go into their houses and sleep, ignoring my work. But whenever the sun comes up they all stay outside and lavish in her light, and praise her. Why is she so special? Why is it her they love? Why can’t it be me?
They all ignore me, as if my crown means nothing. They all worship her, but what makes her so special? NOTHING, nothing makes her special, it’s just that stupid sun they love. If I had been the one to raise it instead of her, they’d love me.
It’s time for a change.
No more will they worship her. No more will they love her the way they do. No more will they run around in the sun. No more will they ignore my existence. No more will they sleep though my nights. I will change everything and take away that which they love most.
There will be no more sun.
Celestia walked in to my chamber, “Luna, the day is about to start, are you about ready to lower the moon?”
Oh, my dear sister, how I loathe the way they treat her. I turned to her, “Get out.”
“Luna, what do you mean?”
Right now, just the sight of her made me sick, “Oh, I’m sorry, was I not clear enough my dearest sister? I thought that get out meant for you to leave me, and to go away, or are you to hot headed to understand when someone doesn’t love you, or do you not know what that feels like.”
She put a sad look on her face, but why would she care about me, “But Luna, what are you talking about, we need to work together so I can raise the sun.”
I could feel my rage boiling inside me and, it was in that moment, I snapped, “Why should I help you raise your stupid sun?! So all the little ponies who ignore my beautiful night, can run around in your day, and worship you, and love you?! WELL, NO MORE! I will not lower my moon, I will not make room for your sun, because there will be no more days, there will be no more sun. This night, this glorious night, that I created, ME, NOT YOU, shall last for all eternity.”
Celestia looked at me, shocked and confused, “Luna, what are you talking about, why are you doing this?”
I laughed, “Why, WHY?! I’ll tell you why. I’m fed up with this, with you! All you do is raise the silly little sun, and all the little ponies everywhere worship you, and praise you, just because of the sun. They spend all day playing outside, and enjoying the sun, every activity they do in their life involves your stupid sun. But as soon as my beautiful night comes out, they all head into their houses, and sleep though my precious night. I bring out the stars and moon for them, FOR THEM, but what do they do? They ignore it, like it’s nothing. They don’t see the beauty in it. Well, my nights are beautiful, but they ignore them like they ignore me. They act like I don’t even exist. Does my crown and status count for nothing? I’m just the same as you, I’m a ruler of Equestria, yet why do they ignore me?” I began to laugh, “They refuse to see my night, well now they have no choice, They WILL love me as they do you, they WILL see the wrong they have done, and they WILL beg for forgiveness. Mark my words; they will regret not loving me, and they will see that the night is more beautiful than any day you could make.”
“But Luna…”
“NO, do not call me that anymore, your precious Luna was a push over. I am not a pushover, I’m taking what should be mine. I am Nightmare Moon, and as of now, this land is MY domain, my kingdom of the night.” I could see her struggle with comprehending the situation, maybe she’ll just leave.
“Lun… Nightmare Moon, will you not listen to reason, will you not give them a chance to hear how you feel?”
“Reason, listening? They barely even recognize my existence, and you think I should try to talk to them? They could’ve tried that long ago. Well, it’s too late for that, they had their chance long ago, they’ve chosen their path.”
“Sis, is there any way I can talk you out of doing this, it’s all unnecessary. I can show you that they love you as much as they love me, and as much as I love you.
“HA, you think you can win me over with your words, they mean nothing, they hold no weight behind them. You can’t chance them with talk and reason, the only thing they’ll understand now is force, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I shall keep the moon in the night sky; I shall not allow you to raise the sun, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!”
“I see, then you leave me no choice, I’m so sorry sis, but I have to do this. I PRINCESS CELESTIA HEREBY BANISH YOU TO THE MOON!”
“What, you can’t do that, this is my domain, the moon is mine, only I control it, YOU CAN’T DO THI-”
Everything went black, I felt as if I was in a dark abyss, surrounded by nothing. Time had stopped, and I realized that this was actually happening. My sister had actually banished me. I opened my eyes and looked around, and I realized where I was, I was on the moon. What have I done, I’ve made a huge mistake. I’m so far from home, so far away from those who I’d carelessly thrown away. My time in solitude has begun.
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The prologue is short, but the other chapter will be more in depth, this isn't about how she got there, it's about how she felt for the thousand years, please leave comments and criticism. Many more chapters to come.
Will there be 1 chapter for each year she's on the moon:
D
444796 for the love of Celestia no,
as I have it planned now there will be a few chapters. Still not quite sure how many I'll do though, I'm still planning the rest of it out.
i come from FJ greetings i am the Gnome
444827 Welcome my FJ brother
I just did a quick peruse of the first half of your prologue. Just a few grammatical and spelling errors I found in the first few paragraphs.
>They all worship her, but what makes her so special, NOTHING, nothing makes her special, it’s just that stupid sun they love. If I had been the one to raise it instead of her, they’d love me.
>>"but what makes her so special" is a question. Separate this into multiple sentences otherwise it doesn't make sense.
>No more will they lavish in the sun.
>>Lavish is not the right word to use.
>I will change everything, and take away that which they love most.
>>The comma before "and" is unneeded.
>I could feel my rage boiling inside me, and it was in that moment I snapped
>>Move the comma to after "and" and add another after "moment". "... inside me and, it was in that moment, I snapped..."
>I will not mark room for your sun
>>make* not mark.
>They ignore it, like it’s nothing. They don’t see the beauty in it. Well, mi nights are beautiful, but they ignore it, like they ignore ME
>>No comma after "it". My* not "mi". The third sentence doesn't flow. Suggestion: "My nights are beautiful, yet they ignore them (plural) like they ignore me."
Oh, and I think you mean "Prologue". There is no such thing as a "Prelogue". xD
Good story so far willing to track to see more
T.D.G
445013 also hello my friend
Blood Doll - Anarchy Club
445013 Thanks for all that
445013 I just finished making all the changes, thank you again
I like it so far. The wording feels very appropriate for the scene. Interested to see where this goes.
Added to the Celestia & Luna group.
It was okay, and I know this is the prologue and just the setup for the story, but it seemed a little rushed.
"I'm going to keep the moon up FOREVER"
"Are you sure?"
"YES!" *hmph*
"MOON!"
"Wait, wha-"
446368 I know, but the story isn't how the events beforehand happened, the story is about her emotions, and how she changes over the thousand years, so yeah, i kinda rushed it a bit, but more development will happen in the other chapters.
446338 thanks
446462 Exactly why I'm giving the benefit of the doubt!
446533 thanks
Great story, but Luna got banished far too quickly. If you remember the tale, Celestia got the elements of harmony and then defeated Luna, and afterwards banished her to the moon.
Otherwise fantastic story.
447928 Yeah, that's true, but the story isn't supposed to be accurate, it's all about how she feels on the moon.
Fair enough.
451999 Thanks