The Dark Lord Café

by Jioplip

Meanwhile, At Other Places...

It was a peaceful day in Appleloosa, bright sun, clear sky, plenty of water, strange artistic rituals, and overall things were just going well. Heck, an incredibly helpful visitor had even come to town.

A bipedal creature dressed in green yadda yadda descriptives it's Link. If anyone reading this doesn't know what Link looks like then I'm not sure why they read this far in.

Link ran through the town holding an incredibly large pie over his head, no doubt the end result of a convoluted fetchquest. The hero nodded to the townsfolk as he passed but never slowed, wary as he was of the time-limit plastered over his vision. Sometimes his Goddess-given gifts confused him, but he was grateful for their assistance.

And so it was that Link ran through and out the town, his goal in sight. Well not really in sight, but he did plant a glowing marker on the spot and he could see that so in a way it was in sight. Regardless, he ran toward his goal and that was the important thing.

Eventually Link came across the buffalo, or buffaloes, or maybe buffalos? Murble. He came across those guys, and more specifically the chief. Link gently laid the giant pie at the chief's hooves and nodded.

"So you've returned with the pie," Chief Thunderhoof reached into... somewhere and pulled out a corked glass bottle, "here's your reward, as we agreed."

Link gingerly accepted the bottle and then quickly spun around and held it over his head, reverently examining it in the noonday sun, only to put it away and face the chief like it never happened. The hero then stared at the chief in a subtly different way.

"So you're looking for more work?" Link nodded to the chief's prompting, "well we do have a few more bottles around, how about you go and see if any of the others need help and come see me for your reward."

Link nodded and ran off to continue his ever-growing bottle collection.

---

Meanwhile, just outside The Dark Lord Café...

Sauron was paying the workers for their quick moat-draining job, and the air was significantly fresher than before. All was proceeding as planned.

---

Earstwhile, on the Moon...

Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, master of the moon, and one of the most powerful (native) beings in the universe was locked in a fierce battle for dominance of her celestial orb. Her horn shone brightly, reflecting off the lunar terrain as she pushed a steady stream of intense power into keeping the moon in place.

Her opponent merely laughed at her efforts.

"I won't let you get away with this," the princess growled at the foreign being, "you won't do to Equestria what you did to Termina Majora!"

Indeed, facing down Princess Luna was none other than Majora's Mask itself. The mask's fleshy tendrils had already snaked out of its back and imbedded themselves in the moon's surface.

"Is that so?" Majora's Mask giggled mockingly, "you're just barely holding me off, do you really think you can defeat me?"

"Of course," Luna smirked, "after all, what kind of ruler would I be if I let scum like you have their way?"

"Pancakes!" the mask screamed suddenly, its features contorting dementedly.

An awkward silence filled the lack-of-air as the two beings simply stared at one another and continued their grand magical tug-of-war. How were they speaking in a vacuum anyway?

---

Laterwhile, in Ganon's Evil Doomcastle...

"Only now do you see the folly of resistance."

Lord Ganondorf stood in front of his grand throne, looking down at the splayed-out body of his phantom which still smoked with dark energies.

"I am sorry... My Lord," Phantom wheezed and coughed on the ground, "I was unable... to save you from corruption."

"This is no corruption Phantom," Ganondorf chuckled darkly as he slowly walked to his prone victim, "this is power, this is the power that rivals the Gods!"

The Dark Lord raised his hand, and the Phantom was no more.

Please Milord, Phantom's consciousness called out even as it disappeared, this is our last chance, you must resist.

---

Earstwhile, as in the present, in The Dark Lord Café...

Ganondorf stood before a massive red pulsating crystal, and only one thought occured to him in that moment.

"Should I touch it?" he asked himself, and surprisingly a voice called to him from deep inside his subconscious. It seemed to be saying assist, or desist, or... "Of course!" Ganondorf exclaimed, "DESTROY!"

And with a mighty spell he shattered the crystal, destroying its power. But just then Sauron entered the room.

"Hey Ganondorf," he called out as he drew near, "have you seen my cruelty, malice, and will to dominate all life, I swear I left them in a big crystal around here."

"Oopsie," said Ganondorf, "I think I might've destroyed them."

"Oh you," Sauron somehow didn't fume, "I would be angry, but you already destroyed my malice."

That's our Ganondorf!

---

Meanwhile, in the kitchen...

"You really have never cooked anything before?" Ghirahim stood incredulously in front of the newhire, suddenly regretting that nobody asked this question during the interview.

"That would be correct," Sombra confirmed, looking somewhat uncomfortable being under the Demon Lord's gaze, "I always had servants to cook my meals, so I never learned."

"What about before you were king?" Ghirahim crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

Sombra stared at him blankly, "I don't understand the question."

Ghirahim sighed, "This is going to be a long day."

---

Meanwhile, in the astral sea...

The energies of the cosmos swirled and coiled around the realm's visitors, one familiar, and one not. Celestia sat at a small table across from a red-haired humanoid woman, smiling serenely as she poured them both tea.

"So," Celestia brought her teacup to her muzzle to savour the aroma, "based on Equestria's newest arrival, I'd say your sisters weren't very happy with your plan."

"Unfortunately so," the woman sighed, "Farore was furious, and she wouldn't listen to anything I had to say."

"I see," Celestia grimaced and took a small sip of her tea, "and what of Nayru?"

"Her reaction might have been worse," the woman put her hands gingerly on the sides of her cup, unfazed by the heat, "she refused to even speak to me, and Hylia followed suit."

"But you're still confident in your plan?" Celestia eyed her guest pensively.

"Of course," she replied quickly, a literal fire burning within her eyes, "I have confidence that my champion has the strength of heart needed to break his curse."

"Well you would know," Celestia smirked knowingly, "Din, Goddess of Power."

The two shared a small chuckle at the admittedly corny joke.

"But enough about me," Din finally took a sip of her tea, "how are everyone's favourite Dark Lords doing?"

"They've adapted well, so far," Celestia furrowed her brow and set her cup down, "though unfortunately their foreign magic prevents me from seeing into their walls, so I have no idea if they're planning something."

"I'm sure you could stop them if it got too serious," Din downed the rest of her tea in one gulp, "besides, Eru and I have your back if things ever get out of hand."

"I'm not particularly worried about them," Celestia frowned slightly as she repoured the tea, "the incident with the mask make me uneasy however."

"Yes," Din cradled her tea once more, "it didn't come through either my or Eru's doors, yet it somehow entered your realm."

"That's why I'm worried," Celestia peered into her cup curiously, "if Equestria has become that vulnerable to threats from beyond then I need to know why."

A tense and somber mood filled the air, stifling any hope of conversation. Soon enough their tea was finished, and Celestia bid Din farewell.

Author's Note:

What's this? Cosmic story-lines? Emotion-driven conversation? Cryptic plot points? Those weren't part of the plan!

So yeah, I guess this whole segmented scene thing is this story's style now. That's cool.

And for those that are confused by certain parts of Celestia and Din's conversation: You probably haven't played Skyward Sword, since that game contains the plot points that are needed to fully understand what's going on.

Comments

[ParadigmShift]

Majora's Mask....

Oh dear......