Dasheresque 0: The Awesomeness Begins

by JusSonic

Chapter 2: Kidnapping!

Chapter 2: Kidnapping!

It is close to that time of 6:04 as it is now 5:50. In Central Street, the folks are gathering to see Prince Armour and his bride Credenza arriving. Dasheresque and Tardis are on the scene, looking for trouble (or trouble looking for them or...SHUT UP!!!).

"Looks like it's almost time; Lucille has yet to make her move." Tardis said in concern as he looks around.

"Yes...we got to make sure that the rulers don't get kidnapped." Dasheresque said with a frown. Pinkie came in, on camera while drinking a soda...then yelps and trots right off as she realizes that the thing is rolling.

"You sure that the Snitch is right?"

"Yes, the Snitch may be tough but she got the brains...unlike some ponies that I know of."

"Come on, Professor Egghead has a reason for kicking ya out of the space program." Tardis remarks to his partner with a shrug. Just then a crumpled up paper ball hits him in the head. "What the hay?"

Rainbow grabs the crumpled up ball and un-crumples it, reading the content. The mare gasps, "Horsecrap! Someone has kidnapped Pretty Fillymore! Oooh, the fur is going to fly!"

"Oh really? You mean that kidnapping that's happening over there?"

The two heroes see Pretty being taken away in a cart (well, okay, Fluttershy is just standing there) as a thug (Big Macintosh) takes her away. The filly cries out meekly, "Help."

"Ugh! Fluttershy, you're going to scream for help like that?" Rainbow is heard looking annoyed. "Louder."

"Help."

"Louder."

"Help," Fluttershy said, trying to be a bit more louder.

"LOUDER!!!" Rainbow screams out to Fluttershy, making the mare nod as she breaths in and out.

"Help," Fluttershy said still meekly. Rainbow is heard groaning in annoyance. "Sorry, too loud?"

"Let's take it from there." Rainbow said before going back into character. "Pretty Fillymore is being taken away than laundry on soap day; Looks like we're going to have to fly!"

The two chases after Pretty as the thug takes her away in the cart really fast (okay, until we fade out. What are you going to do?).

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Dasheresque and Tardis follow the cart to an abandoned factory (which of course looks like the castle where Nightmare Moon was beaten not so long ago). The stallion shivers while saying, "This place gives me the creeps."

"Yes...too creeps. I got a feeling that our enemy will join in at any given moment." Dasheresque said with a frown as the two came into the place, "Like a shooting in a state that cannot be mentioned out of fear of angry letters from mourners."

"Wait, are you sure we should referenced it? We shouldn't make fun of something sad that just happened."

"Relax, just a tribute. I am not making fun. Kids, let's pay silence to those who pay for their lives on the date last weekend." The two heroes pause to do a silence...then Dasheresque ask the camera, "Did we pay respect? Good. Let's continue on saving Pretty."

Evil laughter is heard as the heroes spot Pretty tied up as Dragon Whiplash smirks while saying, "So we meet at last, Dasheresque! I got your special friend kidnapped and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Who are you supposed to be, little dragon; Snively Whiplash?"

"Close, I am Dragon Whiplash! Lucille sent me to keep you out of the way! Random thugs," Dragon orders as the thug along with two minion ones (Snips and Snails wearing masks over their faces), "Deal with these duo of trespassers!"

"Eeyup," The thug exclaims as he and the minions prepare to attack.

"Holy cupcakes," Dasheresque said with a frown of concern as he takes out an original nunchucks. "That guy looks tall...but not as tall as the other big guy whom I will face in the next few sequels."

"Go get them, Dasheresque!" Tardis exclaims. The heroine nodded as she flies in to attack...

We see Rainbow hitting Derpy with a Big Macintosh paper bag over her head as well as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, tied up with a paper bag that looks likes Snips and Snails each, with the nunchuck.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch," Derpy said as Rainbow hits her each time.

"Quit it, ouch! Stupid blank flanks making us do this!" Diamond Tiara groans as Rainbow hits her some more.

"Well, you asked for it when we made fun of them previously!" Silver Spoon groans as Rainbow hits her as well.

We go to a quick cut as the thugs are unconscious and on the ground (well, pretending to be out cold). Dasheresque smiles as she said, "Looks like my nunchuck gun still at it."

"Yeah, but what about Dragon," Tardis ask as Dragon rush off.

"Fools; You saved the filly but lost the war," Dragon laughs madly as he disappears. Dasheresque flew in and unties Pretty.

"Oh dear, I think my kidnapping was a distraction by Lucille to keep you from saving the prince and princess." Pretty said to Dasheresque, making the heroine gasp in anger.

"LUCILLE!!!" Rainbow screams in fury as she held on hoof up into the air. "Let's head back!"

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The trio rush onto the scene which looks like a tornado rush through it. Tardis exclaims in shock, "Oh no! We're too late!"

"Dasheresque," Sergeant Roughfire (played by Spitfire in her Wonderbolt Academy uniform) exclaim furiously as she lands near Dasheresque. "Once again, you are a menace and a roughhouse!"

"What happened? Where are Prince Armour and his bride Credenza?" Dasheresque ask the sergeant in concern.

"Ha! While you were busy menacing around, someone threw in smoke bombs and distracted us, beating up my men and grabbing the prince and princess."

"Must've happened in a scene that is too graphic and gore for us to show the viewers."

"Now thanks to your absence, we're going to have a war on our hooves! Nice job, stupid!" Roughfire snaps to Dasheresque in anger.

"Wait, don't blame Dasheresque." Pretty pleads to Roughfire in worry. "She was saving me from Dragon Whiplash and..."

"No, this is my fire, I will put it out. I shall go get the rulers back and take down Lucille once and for all. Time we go back to the Dasheresque Cave!" Dasheresque booms madly then frowns in an unamused look. "Err, I mean my office...yeah, my office..."

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We hear the Dasheresque music as Dasheresque paces back and forth speaking, "We got to find out where Lucille has taken the rulers...but where did they do?"

"We don't know. Lucille has a hideout so elusive, even I don't know where it is." Tardis said in concern.

"And what are you doing here, Pretty?"

Pretty, who is in the same outfit, looks meekly while saying, "Well...I feel responsible since you saving me has caused the real kidnapping...so I figure I may...help."

"You can help by helping me find the rulers, thank you very much!" Dasheresque exclaims sternly. "It's time we do some...tracking. But Roughfire has the elevator watched, not trusting me. Looks like we're going to have to fly!

Dasheresque grabs Tardis and Pretty and flew off...

...Then we saw the jump being performed by their stunt doubles off a ladder, AKA Derpy wearing a paper bag over her head with Rainbow's face drawn in, Twilight's doll Miss Smartypants and a tree with a hourglass drawn on a note taped to it. The latter two face the wrong way as they and a yelping Derpy lands right onto the ground below, landing flat on their faces.

"Ouch." Derpy said with a groan. That hurt.

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In the back alley, Dasheresque, Tardis and Pretty came onto the scene, seeing the Snitch chewing bubble gum.

"Hey, Snitch. We got some major...trouble." Dasheresque said to the Snitch sternly. "More trouble than ponies being made into cupcakes...and trust me, you don't want to know why I came up with that comparison."

"I won't. So this is about Armour and Cadenza who got nabbed by Lucille's goons, eh?" The Snitch ask with an arch of the eyebrow.

"Yes, can you tell us where Lucille could be hiding out...please?" Pretty ask the Snitch hopefully.

"What's it to ya?" The Snitch asks with a scoff. Dasheresque gave her a bag of bits which she takes. "Actually, now that you mention it, Lucille got some secret HQ that only a few of her goons seem to know..."

"Goons, which ones," Dasheresque ask with a frown.

"Hay if I know, she got a lot of them." The Snitch said with a frown. Dasheresque checks her pockets.

"Dang it, all out...hey, Babs, ya mind loaning me a bag of bits?" Rainbow whispers to Babs sheepishly.

Babs shrugs as she gave a bag of bits to Rainbow...then both got back into characters as Dasheresque gave the bits (back) to the Snitch, asking, "All right, how about now?"

"Well...I heard that Lucille's henchman, Dragon Whiplash, likes to hang out at the Sugarcube Corner." The Snitch suggests to Dasheresque with a smirk. "Follow the dragon and you may find Lucille."

"Yes, of course...see ya around, Snitchie." Dasheresque said, patting the Snitch on the head before heading off. "We got to...Follow That Dragon."

"Wasn't that movie starting with Jake Long?" Tardis ask Dasheresque in bewilderment.

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We hear music as the trio wait outside Sugarcube Corner. Tardis spoke in concern, "Let's hope following Dragon can get us to Lucille."

"Right...we got to save those rulers...and save the countries from war." Dasheresque said seriously and in a weird tone of voice.

"Uh, Dasheresque; I know this sound like a bad time to ask...but have you...I don't know...ever consider having a special somepony?" Pretty ask Dasheresque curiously.

Dasheresque pauses as she goes into another flashback....

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Spike held up 'Sometime Ago Some More' as we see Dasheresque and Beautiful in the back of a hay cart, having some fun.

"I enjoy this good time of hay riding." Beautiful said with a smile, "How about you?"

"Yeah...and a good thing I hijack!" Dasheresque laughs as he throws a stone. "Faster!"

Dasheresque's stones hit one of the stallions (played by Noteworthy and Caramel). They neigh in annoyance as Caramel scowls, "Okay, okay! Geez, we're doing it, Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah, quit it with those stones!" Noteworthy snapped.

"Sorry, just sticking with the script, guys...that I wrote." Rainbow whispers to the extras sheepishly.

"Yes...I love it..." Beautiful said as she got close to Dasheresque, making her yelp and jump back...

And knock right into the camera causing both it and Spike, who is filming, to go screaming as they fell right out of the cart, landing right onto the ground.

"Ooh, sorry, Spike!" Rainbow calls out from the cart to Spike. "You okay?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Spike is heard groaning as he turns the camera off, ending the scene.

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"Dasheresque, Dasheresque, you okay," Pretty ask Dasheresque who snaps out of it and yelp in a startled way.

"Oh! Thought I saw Elvis for a moment," Dasheresque said with a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, so does every filly...oh, there he is!" Tardis exclaims as he saw Dragon Whiplash leaving the restaurant, heading off.

"Looks like we're going to have...follow him." Dasheresque said, revising his catchphrase a bit. "Pretty, better leave this to the professionals."

"But...I...oh," Pretty groans as Dasheresque and Tardis rush off, leaving her behind. "Why must I be left behind?"

Dasheresque peers in, snapping, "Well, come on. Obviously you would ignore me and get involved anyhow."

"Oh, okay." Pretty said as she follows the duo to go after dragon.

The trio follows Dragon around a corner and right into an abandoned street. Dasheresque frowns, looking suspicious.

"This area is quiet...too quiet." Dasheresque said with a frown. "Where did that our dragon go?"

Evil laughter is heard as the gang look up to see Dragon on top to the building, remarking, "I know you're trying to avoid me, Dash-dork! Prepare to get pounded!"

Dragon got out some scissors and cut a rope that is holding an anvil (a huge pile of hay), sending it falling. Pretty screams, "Look out!"

Pretty and Tardis move out of the way in time but Dasheresque is about to get hit by a pile of hay...

...which ends up Derpy in a Rainbow bag mask, doing the stunt. The pile of hay knocks her off, making her groan, "Ouch."

Another quick cut shows Dasheresque getting up as she snaps, "Nice try, short stuff! It will take more than some cheap shots to take down Dasheresque."

"Oh really? Maybe you will take these cheap shots of my Changeling Ninjas!" Dragon laughs as he points to the Changelings appear (which is actually some mannequin painted black and which are moved by the CMC).

"Roar, roar, roar." Scootaloo said making a Changeling noise while pushing a 'mannequin'.

"Yay, prepare to fall for Lucille and stuff!" Sweetie Belle said in a falseotto like voice.

"Eeyup!" Apple Bloom said while pushing her mannequin.

"Yikes, some Changelings," Tardis said, not even trying to be shocked. "Whatever can we do?"

"Time for these Changelings to a change...in their prescriptions," Dasheresque exclaims as she got her nunchuck gun out and flew towards the Changelings, taking them all.

Dasheresque yells as she fights off her enemies one at a time. One of them break, making Sweetie exclaims, "Be careful! Rarity will throw a fit if that can't be fixed!"

Dashereseque defeats the Changelings, grinning while saying, "Those Changelings are no match for...Dasheresque."

"Rats." Tardis said unemotionally as Dragon is gone. "Dragon Whiplash is gone. How can we track Lucille down now?"

"Hmmm, we will need some sort of tracker that can smell dragons...but what can we use?" Dasheresque ask thoughtfully.

"Uh...my bunny Angel can help." Pretty said as she motions to Angel the bunny. "I kept him around whenever no one thinks I am bringing a bunny on the set."

"Fluttershy, why are you bringing your silly bunny onto the set?" Rainbow stage whispers to Fluttershy in annoyance. "I was calling for a device."

"Hey, Angel wanted to be a movie and I won't let you criticize or reject him now, got it?" Fluttershy stage whispers to Rainbow sternly. "He will be in this film, got it?!"

"Okay, okay, I got it! Sheesh," Rainbow whispered with a frown.

"Angel, can you track down Mr. Whiplash?" Pretty ask Angel sweetly. The bunny glances at him and waves his paw out. The filly sighs as she gave him a carrot. "Well?"

Angel nods as he sniffs around then points into a direction, rushing off. Tardis exclaims, "Looks like he has tracked him."

"Looks like your bunny was a good tracker, Pretty." Dasheresque said in pretend amazement (This is a movie, after all!).

"Thanks." Pretty said with a squee as she leans in. "You aren't so bad yourself."

"Fluttershy, Fluttershy, stop." Rainbow whispers to Fluttershy quickly. "I'm already letting you get away with it as Beautiful, but not as Pretty okay?"

"Oh, um... sorry, Rainbow," Fluttershy apologized sheepishly in a quiet tone, realizing what she was doing.

"Last one there gets to rub my hooves." Tardis said as he gallops off.

"Eeeew," The fillies exclaims, disgusted by what Tardis just said. Why did he just say that? It's so disgusting!

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Thanks to Angel, Dasheresque's group tracks Dragon to an abandoned building (which is of course the outside of the Golden Oaks Library). Pretty smiles while saying, "Good work, Angel. I think we found him."

"Soooo, Lucille fought she can hide out in a tree...I am going to be the 'root' of this problem." Dasheresque said as she got her nunchuck gun right out and prepare to kick the door down.

"Err I think we may have to be careful." Tardis said to his partner in concern. "We may run right into a trap."

"Come on, Dashereseque doesn't run into traps."

"Oh no," A familiar voice chuckles as Dragon Whiplash drops a cage from the balcony right onto the trio...but it lands a few inches from them, much to Rainbow, Time Turner and Fluttershy's annoyance. "D'oh!"

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A quick cut and the trio are in a cage, trapped. Dasheresque exclaims unemotional, "Oh horse crap. It's a trap. Why didn't I suspect this all along?"

"Try to tell you, Dasheresque." Tardis said to his partner with a sigh. "Why didn't you listen?"

"Because Dasheresque wouldn't be...Dasheresque, that's why!"

"Well, well..." A familiar voice chuckles as Lucille came out of the shadows (or around the tree). "We meet at last, Dasheresque.

"LUCILLE!!!" Dasheresque exclaims furiously as she hold a hoof up in the air.

"You meanie, what did you do to the rulers Armour and Credenza?" Pretty demand to the villainess more than she asked.

"Oh, I'm afraid you will never find out...because this will be the last and final case of your career, Dasheresque." Lucille said while making an evil laugh...which doesn't sound that much evil at all.

"No, no, no, Rarity, try a better laugh, for Celestia's sake!" Rainbow snaps to Rarity from offscreen. The white unicorn tries again, this time with harder evil laugh, "Yeah, much better."

"And now...sit back and relax because when this is over, you will be do; Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"LUCILLE!!!!" Dasheresque exclaims furiously as...the cage bars fell down. "Ugh. Fade out, Spike."

Spike quickly fades out the scene.

Author's Note:

Hoo boy, Lucille has captured the heroes. How will they get out of this problem and save the rulers? Read, review and suggest, folks.