Cover art's great. Sweet and unassuming picture of Budding Rose's two main characters, same art, must mean a continuation of the previous story right, showing how things are progressing?

Mature, Sex

Lily, you sly devil

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She's a rascal! I'll probably have an actual, non-clop sequeal because I love them two wayyyyy too much

Looking forward to the next part of this story

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She is, isn't she? I love her for it tho' :)

You write whatever sequel you have in mind. I'll read it because these two have shot up in my fave pairing list due to these stories

The pacing felt right, little by little Rose fell under Lily's spell and oh look, how fun! A hotel! The clop wasn't bad at all, and you should write some more & keep improving. Heck, improve just so you can blow Rose's mind more!

I can barely think well enough to blink so soon after waking up, especially after a night out...

One the way out we got my award and grabbed a drink each.

I believe that should be "On."

There was a single bed, a table for writing, and a few candles candles, lit by magic.

I believe "candles" only needs to mentioned once.

Just a few typos I found, nothing major. Great story by the way!
On to the next chapter!

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“Sorry,” she said through pants, “Just wanted a better position for myself." I decided

and

it felt like I’d never seen one in my entire life

as well.
Other than the minor nit-picking with the spelling errors, I have to say I really enjoyed this.

I think the pacing here is a little quicker in the sequel, not that it is bad, but I feel a more emotional charge to this writing style. Maybe it has to do with the content change, but even before things got sexual, the events of the night before and her getting drunk were actually very fun to read. I thought it had a nice flow to it.