Flash sat the counter of one of the bars members of the guard would frequent; ‘The Crescent Moon’.
It was actually pretty rundown, with filthy glasses, extremely anti-social customers that caused fights to break out three times a night on average when they weren’t drowning in their own vomit.
Despite its flaws, however it was preferable to Canterlot’s other ‘classy’ bars filled with uptight Unicorns who wholeheartedly believed that their race, wealth, and social status made them superior to everyone else.
When he was growing up in Cloudsdale when they had seemed to have no problems with other races visiting through the use of cloud-walking or wing-growth spells, even the extremely irritable Griffons were welcomed with open arms.
Even the predominantly Earth Pony towns of Apploosa and Dodge Junction were willing to accept other species (as long as visitors were willing to do thing their way, of course.)
Perhaps the old saying was true and power really does corrupt people?
Then again, Celestia seemed to be pretty open-minded, so perhaps it was just a rich person thing?
He had never met a rich pony he had liked. They were all just like the ones in this city, racist and self-centered. He mused to himself.
Despite the recent attack, the bar was just as full and lively as ever-perhaps just the citizens trying to regain a sense of normalcy he supposed.
The bartender, Clay-an old Earth Pony stallion with a dark brown coat, blue eyes, a grey mane and matching chinstrap moved toward him while wiping down the counter with a dirty rag.
Clay had a large, oddly shaped scar over his right eye which almost appeared to be a bizarre and crude six-point star with a black eye-patch he always wore over it, because he claimed that the hollow eye socket it was obscuring ‘freaked customers out too much’.
As usual he was wearing his blood and cider stained sleeveless denim vest and old dog tags.
“What’s wrong, kid?” Clay asked in his gravelly voice. “Those punks still givin’ ya crap fer bein’ the new guy?”
“Yeah…” Flash sighed. “And it’s about to get worse.”
Clay cocked a bushy white eyebrow over his remaining eye.
“Ya mean the rumors about what happened to Shinin’ are true?”
Flash nodded.
“Yeah, he was injured during the attack-he tried saving Cadance, but he didn’t check for traps first-one of those…things tackled him and pushed him off the highest part of the castle that’s being repaired…”
Clay stopped wiping down the counter.
“So, he is off-duty for now…and Celestia has you taking his place?”
“Yeah,” Flash replied, massaging his temple in exasperation. “His staying at his sister’s library in Ponyville while Celestia’s teaching her a new spell or something here in Canterlot…sort of a trade-off I guess. The other guys already hate me…how will they react when they find out I’m in charge of this mission?”
“Don’t let ‘em get to ya.” Clay grunted. “They might not seem like it now, but any good soldier worth his salt wouldn’t shirk their duty just ‘cause of some grudge.”
“I hope your right.” Flash muttered, taking another swig of his drink.
“It’s a damn shame…Shinin’s one of the few horn-heads in this city I actually like.” Clay sighed. “So this mission, it’s about gatherin’ intel on those freaks, right?”
“Yeah…” Flash replied, taken aback. “How did you know that?”
Clay held up his dog tags.
“I was a soldier too, once. Remember?”
“Oh, yeah…Right.” He replied, feeling stupid for forgetting such a crucial personal detail.
“Don’t worry about it too much kid; I know ya got a lot on yer mind right now.” He continued, upon seeing Flash’s expression. “I might be old, but I still know a thing or two about those freaks.”
“Really?” Flash asked, incredulously.
“Well, when you’ve been in the bartending game as long as I have. You hear a few rumors, myths, legends-that sort of thing…and I ran into one of ‘em before.” Clay elaborated.
Flash’s ears perked up at this.
“As their name suggests, they are able to shape-shift into anyone of any species or gender, even being able to mimic their voices.” He elaborated, as Flash leaned in close. “They also feed on love, though…I ain’t sure if it’s just actual love they consume or lust as well, since I’ve heard stories of mares just picking up and leaving a brothel in Manehatten…”
“Is there anything else you could tell me?” Flash pressed. “Anything at all? Even the smallest detail you can remember could help us greatly!”
“Well,” Clay scratched his chin thoughtfully. “They’re parasite in every sense of the word, the one I ran into jumped us one night during my second year in the guard, it landed on my partner that night and sunk its fangs into his neck…and I just snapped.”
“What do you mean?”
“I tackled it and started beating it bloody…when I came back to me senses I went back to check on him, but by then it was too late…had bled out.” Clay sighed. “I heard a noise, I turned back to see a large blade coming towards me before my vision exploded in blood and agony.”
“Wha…?” Flash began.
“That damn bug was able to change its foreleg into weapons, too.” Clay explained. “Fighting through the pain, I kicked it off me when I lost my temper again and jumped on it as it was clutched its gut in pain.”
“And then what happened?”
Clay narrowed his gaze.
“Whaddya think? I ripped the bastard’s legs off one by one…so it couldn’t pull the same crap on me again. Once it was lying there and screaming, helpless I went to look for the other and get medical attention.” He continued.
“By the time we got back to the scene, it was dead in a puddle of it’s own oozy green blood with chunks of its body ripped away…it wasn’t much for the eggheads to go on, but they did realize that the teeth marks covering its body were from other Changelings.”
“YOU MEAN THEY’RE CANNIBALS!?” Flash exclaimed, in a harsh whisper.
“I ain’t so sure about that…maybe they was just tryin’ to cover their tracks before we could learn enough ta fight ‘em, maybe not bein’ able to eat enough ‘love’ or whatever they do drove ‘em insane.” He grunted.
“But, one thing’s for damn sure.” He continued, eyeing Flash. “If you do end up goin’ toe ta toe with ‘em-you’d better watch your ass, boy.”
Flash glanced up at the clock, it was almost eight.
“Thanks for the info…and the drink, I’ve gotta go.” He replied.
“Good luck, kid.” Clay replied. “Yer gonna need it.”
Sighing, Flash got up leaving his glass with chunks of melting ice and traced amounts of soda that he had been drinking.
Given his temper, he had made it a personal rule to never touch alcohol after the trouble it had gotten him into in the past.
Still, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time.
Shining had always been good to him, the only friend he really had in the guard since he’d joined up a few months ago…the day before the attack he had taken Flash aside and showed him the ring he was going to give to Cadance the next day to take their relationship to the next level.
Despite Celestia seeming to have approved of their dating, Shining had still been nervous about proposing to Cadance, worrying if it was too earlier to ask her after two years of dating…if Celestia would approve of their decision if she had accepted.
Flash had pointed out that he didn’t think it would matter too much if she didn’t mind them dating.
But, Shining believed it would make a huge difference as marriage was a pretty big step.
However, he assured his Captain the he was absolutely certain that everything would be just fine.
‘And now, Cadance is fighting for her life while suffering through operation after operation.’ Flash thought to himself, dismally.
Shining Armor was like the cool older brother he’d always wished for and after everything he’d done for him, Flash thought the least he could do to return the favor was offer his advice once Shining had confided in him.
But, he just had to tempt fate by saying that…
‘If I really lived up to my name, I would’ve been able to reach them before any of this happened and we’d just have the Changelings, and maybe some wedding planning to worry about.’ He sighed, inwardly. ‘Of course, Cap’s probably beating himself up over this too…thinking this is all his fault.’
“It’s all my fault.” He muttered.
“Well, that’s no surprise.” A feminine voice replied.
Flash hadn’t realized that he was already subconsciously walked outside the bar while lost in his thoughts.
He looked up from the ground to see a Unicorn mare with a light orange coat, aquamarine eyes, and a complex yellow and red mane that strongly resembled flames.
She was wearing a black leather jacket with a matching saddlebag and Cutie Mark of the Sun made from the same three warm colors.
“Then, again guards like you aren’t really paid to think.” She smirked.
The mare was leaning against a brick wall as she eyed him.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Flash’s response was more out of genuine confusion that actual offense.
Who was this lady and how did she know him?
I wish you would keep Flash out of the story. its just filler.
3231430
He and Sunset are going to be important later.
Plus, it was meant to help begin important character development that Equestria Girls had completely disregarded for both characters as well as important information on this universe's Changelings.
In Sonic Rainboom, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had no idea that flight or cloudwalking spells were possible. If they had grown up around unicorns and earth ponies visiting, the episode would have played out differently.
Why bring race into this? It's not as though high society has been shown as predominantly unicorn in the show. If anything, we've seen more rich and high society earth ponies than unicorns (Photo Finish, Sapphire Shores, Hoity Toity, any number of earth ponies in The Best Night Ever...).
Wait, I thought it was the 'classy' bars that were supposed to be full of racists.
3231762
This is an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE fic which includes a different timeline and not all characters and species are necesarily going to be the way they are in the show. (Hence the tag-which you seemed to have missed.)
This was also discussed in the previous comments which you can see below.
Clay isn't racist, but he has great disdain for most of the rich, snobby Unicorns in Canterlot specifically for their superiority complexes and he expresses it freely.
He has no issues with Unicorns in general.
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle having a such a high position in the royal guard and their parents working two jobs (leaving Twilight needing a babysitter like Cadance) before being accepted into Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns implies that they have a large amount of wealth.
In that regard, he is an exception to that 'snobbish' demographic as he is pretty grounded despite his position and privileged upbringing.
This was the reason for his comment.
3231923
The alternate universe tag typically manifests in one of two ways. Either a specific event or set of events occurs differently, changing the course of the otherwise identical universe, or else the entire universe is given a makeover.
This story had every indication of being the former, that the alternate part of the universe was when the changelings launched a preemptive strike, and that the differences would play out from that point. That's the impression that the summary gives, and that most elements of the existing chapters give.
You're welcome, of course, to change whatever you like about the universe. But it is advised that you present it in such a manner that the reader can tell when a change is an intentional deviation from the established history. In the instances I highlighted, it did not appear to me that you were making intentional changes. Alternate universe should never come across as though you're mistaken on what actually happened in the show.
Still comes across as a bit of a bigoted generalization, particularly since it comes only a page or so down from when we are told (not shown) that Canterlot unicorns are racist in ways that other ponies are not.
3232593
i'm having a really hard time being able to tell if you're trying to be constructive with your criticisms or just being a smart-ass (which I have had MORE than enough of from people lately).
3234656
I'm trying to point out what seem to me as substantive issues with the story as you've released it so far. You bring up the specter of Canterlot unicorn racism as a matter of background exposition. You do not demonstrate any unicorns behaving this way; instead we're forced to take the exposition at face value. You give a couple of what look to be references to the show as evidence, but as I pointed out earlier, the actual facts of the show do not correlate. Once that exposition is completed, the first pony that we actually see making a racially insensitive statement is an earth pony saying something insensitive about unicorns in the bar that has been explicitly called out as a less racist environment.
When I said "Wait, I thought it was the 'classy' bars that were supposed to be full of racists," I was being somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I don't think that one statement by your bartender makes him a horrible racist. I was trying to illustrate the conflict between your exposition and your events by juxtaposing them.
And I stand by my statement that when you're putting the "alternate" into "alternate universe," you need to be careful to make clear that the changes you're making are intentional. You did this more-or-less correctly with the changeling attack. Between the summary and the manner in which the events play out, it's easy to see that the attack is intended to diverge from the main series continuity. It's possible that there could have been a couple more hints in the first chapter to make clearer that the attack happened prior to A Canterlot Wedding, but I had no difficulty following along with it.
When it comes to things like the prevalence of cloud-walking spells, however, there is no real indication in the story that this is supposed to diverge from main-series continuity. In fact, there's plenty of evidence that they shouldn't! Consider that chapter two indicates that Rainbow Dash did perform the sonic rainboom, as in the show. This implies that the events of the episode Sonic Rainboom happened more-or-less unaltered. But those events were premised on cloud-walking and wing-creation spells being rare, if not unheard-of. The overall appearance created by putting these facts together is not one of an alternate Equestria where cloud-walking spells are commonplace. Instead, it merely appears that you either forgot what happened in Sonic Rainboom, or that you didn't think through the implications properly. If you say that it was intentional, then I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that, but that's not the way it appears from a direct reading of the story.
If that's not constructive enough for you, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to jerk your chain.
3234817
Sorry, I've been an edge lately because a lot of other users have been much less constructive and more personal with their criticisms on some of my other stories recently and I was having trouble figuring out if you were just another one of them.
Or if you're genuinely trying to be helpful and I've just been misinterpreting your comments as a roundabout way of doing the same.
But now that I know that it's the later, I'm sorry for jumping down your throat like that-you've just caught me during a bad month.
3235525
It's cool.
Flash offered Shining his device? Dont even wanna know what that one means... other than that, its a great story