Of Females and Feathers

by HinataHyuga

5. Old Friends

While Rainbow Dash had once wanted to stay at home as much as possible, she now wanted more than anything to get away from it. Well…that is, now that her mother was hovering over her as if she would die at any moment. Rainbow hadn't been allowed to get out of bed for three solid days. She'd been okay with it for the first day, but she didn't understand why it had to keep going like this now that she could sit up, move, as well as talk perfectly again. Maybe she could still feel a bit of the pain, but pain had always been something she dealt with pretty well.

The young Pegasus had been shocked to discover that she'd run stupidly right into a thundercloud, and gotten stupidly struck by lightning. Not only was it painful, shocking, and stupid, it was also completely embarrassing, especially for such a skilled flier as herself. She really hoped her mother wouldn't tell anyone else about it; all she needed was for those assholes back at flight camp to find out, and never let it go. Luckily, it seemed that Breezie was much more interested in caring for her "dying" daughter than spreading news around.

Rainbow had been left alone for a moment, though. While she'd been following orders for the past few days, and staying in bed as often as possible, she planned on changing things around this time. Cautiously, she slipped out of bed, and got to her hooves; it was quite early in the morning, so not only was she still a little sore from her injuries in general, but her muscles hadn't been stretched much yet. Of course, she had been in bed for three days. She gave a giddy grin, though, aimlessly walking around a bit for the first time since then. But almost as soon as she'd begun, she was stopped in her tracks.

"Rainbow Dash!" her mother exclaimed upon entering the room. "Get back into bed! You are still recovering!"

She jumped in surprise, having not expected her mother to catch her at all. She'd just left the room a moment ago! After a second or two, though, Rainbow gave an annoyed growl, and did as she was told. She made sure to turn her back as she lay down again. Her mother's stern expression softened a bit after that, and she gave a sigh, approaching Rainbow's bed. Breezie rested her forelegs on the side of the bed, just watching her daughter a moment before she spoke again.

She said, "I'm sorry, baby…but you know it's going to take at least a few more days before you're healed enough to do anything too major."

A few more seconds passed before Rainbow gave a huff and rolled over to face her mother, obviously both annoyed and desperate. She didn't even want to think about having to stay in bed for another long day, let alone a few more days.

"Mom, it barely even hurts anymore!"

"You were fine staying home all the time a week ago! This isn't too much different…"

"It is so! I was just home, not bedridden. And that was then."

Breezie didn't argue anymore. She sighed, knowing her daughter well enough to understand how difficult the situation must be for her. Still, she simply couldn't allow her to go running off when the possibility of hurting herself even more was in the balance.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was starting to feel more miserable over staying in bed all the time than she was over the fact that being a lesbian had caused her to nearly kill herself. She'd almost forgotten her lesbian worries, to the point where she was telling herself that if she ever got out of bed again, she'd never spend another day in her room, or even in the house. That was obviously all spur-of-the-moment thinking, though. Rainbow's patience had always been quite short when it came to staying in one place for too long; she could get around it when times were tough, as how she'd been doing for the past few weeks, being fine with staying at home as long as she wasn't in the same room the whole time. It was beyond difficult staying in bed for longer than a night, though, so difficult that the need for freedom had nearly outweighed the need for staying away from the public.

Rainbow hesitated before speaking again. "Can I least get out of bed tomorrow if it doesn't hurt anymore?"

"Honey, I don't know…"

"Mom, please! I need to get out of here!" she whimpered.

Again, Breezie didn't answer her. She averted her gaze, and continued to rest against the side of her daughter's bed. Another moment passed before she gave a soft sigh and surprised Rainbow with her next reply.

She began, "That's what your father and I have been talking about, Rainbow."

Rainbow's magenta eyes widened a bit at the unexpected statement. She didn't say anything, though, just waited for her mother to continue. She'd no idea they'd been talking about anything to do with her, other than the accident she'd gotten herself into. Breezie went on quickly.

"Well, I was planning on telling you this after you'd gotten better, but I think it's best I give you something to think about while you're still in bed," she hesitated a moment, finally meeting her daughter's eyes. "You haven't been yourself lately. We're concerned. And, really, we do think it might be best if you start getting out of the house more once you're all better."

Rainbow Dash's mentality quickly went from curious to suspiciously confused at the statement; whether her face reflected it or not, she didn't know, nor did she care. She knew her mother had some otheragenda besides just getting her out of the house more: if it was that simple, Breezie surely wouldn't be bringing it up like this.

"What do you mean?"

Breezie continued, "Well…we want you to start spending more time with your friends! Ponies your own age… It seems like the older you get, the less you care about keeping connections. I know you've been going through that little stage of teenage independence, it happened to me when I was about your age. But honey, you can't let yourself lose all your friends like that. It might not seem that way now, but friends are so important for a growing pony's happiness."

When her mother ended the little speech, Rainbow Dash had no doubts her face reflected her feelings now. She was nearly dumbfounded. They were worried she was becoming a recluse or something? And what friends were they even talking about? Rainbow had a few friends, but flight camp wasn't completely over yet – most of them were still there. She finally raised a brow, tilting her head away just a little as she answered in a slightly annoyed, very unimpressed tone.

She asked, "You mean the friends who aren't here?"

Breezie blinked in surprise, almost as if she'd completely forgotten that little piece of information. Hesitantly, she tried again.

"Oh. You don't have any friends who aren't in flight camp?"

Rainbow Dash kept her annoyed-sounding monotone. "No."

Her mother almost seemed a little distressed at the realization. She looked away in thought for a moment. Finally, her face lit up again with another idea, and she looked back to Rainbow expectantly.

"What about Fluttershy? She was your friend, right?" she asked.

"She moved to Ponyville."

Though Rainbow Dash wasn't enjoying this new idea very much, she had to admit her mother's last suggestion had been a pretty good call. Not that she actually wanted to "hang out" with Fluttershy. But Fluttershy was one of the few fliers who hadn't stayed with flight camp for more than a summer or two: she'd just disappeared one day, then had come back a few days later to tell everyone she was leaving for good. Rainbow had never been all that close to her, really. She remembered her, though. Fluttershy had been one of the nicest ponies she'd ever met, even if she hadn't been that big on flying. Had anyone been that close to her? She couldn't remember if the shy pony had had any friends or not, but she certainly remembered being pissed off at everypony who'd messed with her.

"I think it's a great idea."

It was only then that Rainbow realized she'd completely zoned out of her conversation with her mother for a minute there, thinking back on Fluttershy. She blinked, magenta eyes wide, and no idea what was going on now.

"Wait, what?" she asked.

"Visiting Fluttershy in Ponyville!"

"Huh!"

"I'm sure your father will be fine with it! You just rest now, darling! I'll bring you some tea a little later!"

With that, her mother left the room, much too quickly for Rainbow Dash to even respond properly. Jaw dropped open and still completely dumbfounded, Rainbow remained in a silent shock for another moment, before finally releasing a breath and honestly wondering if all that had really just happened. Did her mother do that kind of shit on purpose?

She didn't know why her mother would assume she'd be completely against the idea of visiting Fluttershy in Ponyville. It was just a random earth town, right? Full of…ponies. Suddenly at the thought, Rainbow's eyes widened. It would be full of ponies – including ponies her own age. Ponies she'd have a much higher risk of crushing on, because she was a stupid lesbian. She couldn't go to Ponyville! But how could she tell her mom that now that she and Rigel were starting to seriously worry over her odd behavior? If this had happened a few months back, Rainbow would've been beyond excited to go on a trip away from home; they both knew that about her.

"Oh hell…" she mumbled to herself.

This was exactly what she needed: a situation which if she seemed to have a problem with, her parents would know without a doubt something was wrong with her.

Over the next few days, Rainbow Dash's injuries continued to heal, as well as her mentality. She still would've rather not gone to Ponyville, but the more she thought about it, the more relaxed she became at the thought that nopony in Ponyville even knew her name, other than Fluttershy. She would be surrounded by a whole new setting, and a whole new array of acquaintances. None of them would know who she was, so none of them would have an expectation of how she would be. It didn't matter how she appeared, as long as she could hold back enough of her lesbian thoughts.

She was still unsure about the trip, as well as about seeing Fluttershy again for the first time in so long. She'd never even known her all that well to begin with, just defended her. Fluttershy had been grateful, but that was about all there'd been to it; and Rainbow couldn't help but worry the next time they met would only make for awkwardness.

Nevertheless, she also couldn't help but wonder if perhaps her mother had the right idea: perhaps she really did just need a complete change of scenery, and some new friends who, maybe, she could talk to about her situation. Of course the talking thing was her own idea, not her mother's. Rainbow was still prepared to keep her sexuality a secret from her parents forever. Even if – for all she knew – they might not necessarily react as badly as she worried they would. That chance just wasn't one she planned on taking, though.

"You're sure you can get there on your own, sweetie?"

Rainbow was healed now and almost immediately, her mother had insisted that she get ready for her trip. From the urgency alone, the younger could tell she truly believed that seeing old friends, having someone closer to her own age to spend time with, was really the answer to whatever it was she and Rigel were worried over. Rainbow had thought about asking them what the deal was, but her mother had already went on about keeping friendships, and well, that was enough for her; she'd rather not any questions she might ask accidentally cause them to think twice and grow even more worried.

She would only be in Ponyville for a little while, she hoped. It'd be okay. She was really trying to be optimistic about it, even if she was still afraid of some of the possibilities. Fluttershy was her main hope at the moment, if she was still as sweet and shy as she remembered, anyway. If she wasn't then…Rainbow didn't know what she'd do in Ponyville.

Once she assured Breezie and Rigel that she could get there on her own, and would have a safe trip, she hugged them both goodbye and started for her journey. Ponyville actually wasn't too far away from Cloudsdale: the longest it took to get there was about an hour, and that was flying slowly. Which, as Rainbow Dash was quite a bit nervous about getting there, she couldn't help but fly slower than she usually flew, so the trip ended up taking her close to a good forty-five minutes (even if she wanted to, she could never fly as slowly as to take the whole hour).

Nopony really seemed to notice Rainbow when she first arrived in the town, which she was quite relieved over. It was about the same as the factory, only this time, she wasn't known as Rigel Dash's daughter; and as much as she liked being his daughter, she was still more than happy to be just another random pony for a while. It was a refreshing start.

Very cautiously, Rainbow Dash wandered around the town, keeping to herself, staying out of crowds, and keeping a lookout for Fluttershy. She remembered what the other Pegasus looked like when they'd been in flight camp together, but as far as she knew now, Fluttershy could've completely changed her style by this point in time. It'd been years since they'd seen one another. Finally, after about a half an hour of searching in the sidelines, Rainbow knew her method was turning out to be pointless: she'd have to find somepony who knew Fluttershy, and get directions. Her only problem though, was that she had no idea whatsoever, which of these ponies knew Fluttershy, and which ones didn't.

Rainbow was surprised to see that for an earth pony town, Ponyville actually had a lot of unicorn and Pegasus inhabitants as well. She was especially glad for so many Pegasi living around, as that drew even less attention to her. Sometimes she even felt as if she were invisible, just walking around barely noticed at all. She wondered if this meant Ponyville got a lot of visitors, just other ponies coming to see the place; Cloudsdale was certainly like that a lot of the time. Of course, most of its tourists were other Pegasi.

After hesitantly joining the crowd, Rainbow decided maybe it'd be best to ask another Pegasus of Fluttershy's whereabouts first; she actually hadn't had all too much interaction with earth ponies or unicorns before, so she stuck with what she knew. It turned out, however, that Fluttershy still didn't have too many friends, even in Ponyville.

"U-Um…excuse me?"

"Hm, yes?"

"Do you, um, know where Fluttershy lives?"

"Who?"

"…Nevermind."

The pattern continued through the few other Pegasi Rainbow tried to get directions from. Including the genders of these Pegasi, as Rainbow had made quite an effort to only confront males: she was still uncomfortable talking to the females after what had happened with Valerie, not to mention female ponies still always seemed to make her blush. So, naturally, she felt safer talking to ponies she was positive she wouldn't be attracted to. After the fourth try, Rainbow found herself wondering if maybe she really would need to get over herself and ask a female, but luckily (or maybe not so luckily), a female found her first.

"Did you say you were looking for Fluttershy?"

Rainbow Dash jumped at the question, and quickly turned toward the voice to see a fifth Pegasus, only this one female. She felt herself tense almost immediately. But before she could get much more nervous over being so close to a female again, her attention was drawn to an even more startling aspect of this particular pony: her eyes. Rainbow was frozen for a short moment, just looking at the pony's face, until she quickly realized there had to be something wrong with her eyes which couldn't be helped, and looked away with a small blush, not wanting to seem rude. She'd just spoken to her, though; she had to ignore the awkwardness, and respond. Especially since this pony seemed to know Fluttershy, unlike any of the others.

She answered, "U-Um, yes..?"

Rainbow couldn't help but want to apologize for her moment of staring, but the grey Pegasus who'd spoken to her instantly gave a happy chibi smile and grabbed one of her forelegs, dragging her away from their current area. She seemed to have not even noticed Rainbow's staring, or if she had, she didn't seem to care. Rainbow gave a surprised yelp at the sudden gesture, but really had no choice but to follow.

"Come on, then! I know right where she lives!" the pony exclaimed as she pulled Rainbow along a short ways, and then let her go to follow on her own.

Along the way, the grey Pegasus didn't hesitate at all to explain that she worked as a mail carrier, and Fluttershy's home was one of the places on her route, which was how she knew exactly how to get there. Rainbow couldn't tell whether the pony was trying to sound impressive or not, but either way, she was thankful she didn't have to do any of the talking – that was taken care of by this odd new pony.

Rainbow found herself not too bothered at all by her worries as the grey Pegasus led the way to Fluttershy's house. She couldn't quite place why, but there was something about this Pegasus that made her feel…comfortable. The Pegasus was pretty much completely open, as if she already considered Rainbow to be some long-time, trusted friend. It was actually pretty quirky, but at the same time, Rainbow kind of liked it. She couldn't help but wonder if this Pegasus was the same way with everypony she met. Not that it really mattered. It certainly helped Rainbow Dash feel more at ease with herself, though.

When the two of them reached a small cottage near the edge of a forest, the grey Pegasus came to a stop, and pointed a hoof in its direction. She beamed the same smile as before as she did so, as if nothing made her happier than doing random things like this. It was so weird, and yet, so charming. Rainbow gave an awkward smile before looking toward the cottage, and at the familiar sight, her eyes slowly widened.

Fluttershy.

The yellow Pegasus looked exactly the same as Rainbow Dash remembered her. She hadn't noticed that Rainbow was there yet; she only stood with her backside to the other two, fixing one of her flowerbeds. After a moment, Rainbow looked back to the grey Pegasus, who only gave a friendly wink and took to the air, as she'd completed the mission she'd set out to do. And with that, only Fluttershy and Rainbow were left, standing a short ways apart.

Rainbow Dash remained silent for a moment longer, feeling a bit of her nervousness returning to her. She hadn't the first idea how to begin a conversation, or even what to say to get her old friend's attention. Finally, though, Rainbow took a breath and settled for clearing her throat.

"Hmm?"

At the throat clearing, Fluttershy quickly turned her head to look behind, eyes wide. She turned herself completely around to face Rainbow a second later, and instantly, she froze, blinking once in surprise. Fluttershy almost appeared as if she'd seen a ghost, and for a moment, she and Rainbow only stared at one another from across the yard.

The longer the moment passed, the more nervous Rainbow became. She swallowed, averting her eyes finally as she felt her cheeks growing red again. It hadn't even crossed her mind that crushing on Fluttershy was a possibility, another one that she really didn't want to happen. Strangely, though, she didn't really feel as worried about it as she'd felt with the other girls she'd run into. Perhaps it was the old memories she had with Fluttershy, or just the hope that she might actually have someone to talk to. She didn't know. But hesitantly, she lifted her magenta gaze back up to meet Fluttershy's again.

She released a breath, readying a greeting, but before she could get one out, the other Pegasus beat her to it.

"Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy almost said the name with a quiet, stifled giggle, as if she really couldn't believe what she saw. Her shock had transformed into a brightly curious smile.

Rainbow Dash couldn't help but smile back awkwardly as she uttered a quiet affirmation. She was glad to know her name had been remembered, but she supposed she could never forget the name of someone who'd defended her either. Almost so quickly Rainbow didn't have time to notice, the shy Pegasus galloped closer, giving another stifled giggle, and causing Rainbow to flinch back just a little in confusion. Not that the move bothered her, it was just…unexpectedly bold for a pony like Fluttershy.

Immediately after, though, Fluttershy gasped quietly, and edged back away just a little. "Oh! I'm sorry…it's just…it's been so long. I never expected…you."

The yellow Pegasus took a seat after the apology, and tilted her head downward as she averted her gaze. As soon as a lock of pink hair fell over the side of her face, Rainbow recognized the look. This was definitely the Fluttershy she remembered. Hesitantly, Rainbow lifted a hoof from the ground and smiled again.

"It's okay," she began. "I know it's been years since flight camp. Well, for you, anyway."

Fluttershy returned the smile, just a little, but still paused. "Yeah…"

Another moment of silence passed between the two Pegasi, which only brought Rainbow's awkwardness back, much to her dismay. She again lost her words, and finally, Fluttershy again got to her hooves, and spoke first.

"So…um…what brings the visit? N-Not that I didn't want a visit, but…is there something I can help you with?"

It was as if the specific question had been destined for their conversation. Rainbow Dash blinked in response to the words, eyes wide again. Help. Almost instantly, she felt her heart speeding up again. Ever since she'd left flight camp, she'd lost the only other one she believed she'd ever be able to talk to about all this. Even if Gilda wasn't exactly great at talking about things like these, she still knew what it was like to be attracted to girls. Rainbow was frozen now, with just the memory of feeling like there was at least one other who'd been in a similar situation. And Fluttershy's question echoing through her mind.

She indeed needed help. Big time. She'd no idea if Fluttershy was the proper pony to get help from, or even if Fluttershy would understand her situation at all, or even close to how Gilda did. One thing she did know, though, for sure, was that if she didn't tell somepony about it soon, she'd be on the brink of losing her mind. Whether Fluttershy realized it or not, the question had an answer. And this time, Rainbow Dash was ready to take the chance of giving it.

Heart still speeding, she forced herself out of her freeze, and very slowly looked around, just to be sure nopony else was near. She didn't know why the simple question had sparked such a longing in her to share what she'd been hiding for weeks now. But it had. She didn't understand it, but she knew the time had finally come, for somepony else to hear the truth.

Was there anything she could help her with?

Rainbow shakily breathed, not even realizing that her next statement barely seemed to be an answer to the question, because the fear of what would come from it, had completely taken her over.

"…Fluttershy…I'm gay."

Comments

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